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(Fox News)   New York man is tired of being paid $35 a pop to sharpen pencils. Don't bother reading TFA, it will only confuse you further   (foxnews.com) divider line 62
    More: Weird, New York, Don't Bother, TFA  
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9338 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Sep 2013 at 7:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-20 07:18:53 AM  
 
2013-09-20 07:40:37 AM  
at first i thought, ok, maybe there's a guy out there who specializes in sharpening some unique highly specialized form of pencils that require refined technique and custom equipment to sharpen.  but no, just yellow #2's.  i'm calling satire.
 
2013-09-20 07:50:12 AM  
David Rees is a very funny man, with a very dry wit.  He's been on all of the previous JoCo Cruise Crazy cruises, and will more than likely be on the next one as well.

And yes, he carries around a pencil sharpener at all times, and wears jewelers goggles to get the sharpest point possible.  And he'll give you the shavings from your pencil, too.
 
2013-09-20 07:54:05 AM  
I'm guessing he's not actually quitting, just drumming up some more business, based on the fact that his website is still up and running.
 
2013-09-20 07:58:29 AM  
Most nurses have to wash puss of penises for less money.
 
2013-09-20 08:02:38 AM  
He shares his "secrets".  Spoiler alert:  you use a pencil sharpener.
 
2013-09-20 08:04:50 AM  
I don't get the point.
 
2013-09-20 08:06:50 AM  

Deep Contact: I don't get the point.


Thanks for taking the lead with the puns. They should have started by comment #2.
 
2013-09-20 08:08:01 AM  
Is the whole article a euphemism for something?
 
2013-09-20 08:08:09 AM  

bigsteve3OOO: Most nurses have to wash puss of penises for less money.


i285.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-20 08:15:57 AM  
Fox didn't find it relevant to mention that the political cartoon he did was named "Get Your War On"?
 
2013-09-20 08:20:35 AM  
i406.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-20 08:21:03 AM  
.50 cents at any drug store. Now get the fark off my lawn.

www.photo-dictionary.com
 
2013-09-20 08:21:48 AM  
I saw his website a few years ago. I always thought it was a joke. Didn't realize people were dumb enough to actually pay him.
 
2013-09-20 08:22:43 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Fox didn't find it relevant to mention that the political cartoon he did was named "Get Your War On"?


You don't find it relevant to mention that they were correct?
 
2013-09-20 08:23:42 AM  
"I've broken my pencil," said Tom pointlessly.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-20 08:23:53 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Fox didn't find it relevant to mention that the political cartoon he did was named "Get Your War On"?


I haven't seen the cartoon in question but I don't think id get too worked up over a title.
 
2013-09-20 08:31:38 AM  

flucto: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

Thanks for taking the lead with the puns. They should have started by comment #2.


This thread doesn't need to be lead astray by the likes of you two.
 
2013-09-20 08:32:53 AM  

flucto: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

Thanks for taking the lead with the puns. They should have started by comment #2.


I made one but it wasn't any good so I erased it.
 
2013-09-20 08:34:20 AM  
Not sure he really wants publicity like this. You see, once Obama finds out the exorbitant fees he's charging to sharpen pencils, an Affordable Pencilcare Act is sure to follow. Then, not only will he continue to make $35 a pencil, but several layers of bureaucracy will also be installed, to ensure the standard of sharpness, consistency, proper packaging and labeling of his pencils, conduct environmental studies and ascertain the potential global warming impact of any pencil-vapor released from his activities. When all this bureaucracy raises the per-pencil cost to $65, further layers of bureaucracy will be brought in, to ensure that everybody has pencilcare insurance, and that everybody is indeed required to purchase pencilcare insurance. But don't worry. you will still be able to employ your own pencil sharpener, after you have paid their "boutique sharpening" fee (which makes up for the financial hit the Affordable Pencilcare
Act
imposes on them.)

etc.
 
2013-09-20 08:38:38 AM  

HAMMERTOE: Not sure he really wants publicity like this. You see, once Obama finds out the exorbitant fees he's charging to sharpen pencils, an Affordable Pencilcare Act is sure to follow. Then, not only will he continue to make $35 a pencil, but several layers of bureaucracy will also be installed, to ensure the standard of sharpness, consistency, proper packaging and labeling of his pencils, conduct environmental studies and ascertain the potential global warming impact of any pencil-vapor released from his activities. When all this bureaucracy raises the per-pencil cost to $65, further layers of bureaucracy will be brought in, to ensure that everybody has pencilcare insurance, and that everybody is indeed required to purchase pencilcare insurance. But don't worry. you will still be able to employ your own pencil sharpener, after you have paid their "boutique sharpening" fee (which makes up for the financial hit the Affordable Pencilcare
Act imposes on them.)

etc.


Nope, nope, nope
 
2013-09-20 08:45:58 AM  
Not only do I know whats going here, Subs, I own the book the fact that introduction was written by John Hodgman should be all the explanation you need.
 
2013-09-20 08:51:10 AM  

Deep Contact: I don't get the point.


That's no surprise. You never were the sharpest pencil in the box.
 
gja
2013-09-20 08:56:16 AM  

EViLTeW: flucto: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

Thanks for taking the lead with the puns. They should have started by comment #2.

This thread doesn't need to be lead astray by the likes of you two.


Let me give you 2 a tip, you guys aren't making any sense. Go back and draft better responses that don't crumble under their own weight. Your entire line of reasoning is off. Really, you 2 are just a couple of cads.
 
2013-09-20 08:56:19 AM  

Danger Mouse: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

That's no surprise. You never were the sharpest pencil in the box.


No more pencil puns.  I that that's a ferrule.
 
2013-09-20 08:58:46 AM  
1,804 x $35 = $63,140

I'm in the wrong business.
 
2013-09-20 09:05:09 AM  
Here is a fine example of a person with a severe mental handicap (probably OCD, possibly mild Aspergers)
turning his affliction into a career.

Good for him.
 
2013-09-20 09:05:52 AM  
I am not surprised that there are idiots customers, who are willing to pay $35 for a sharpened pencil

I am just surprised the guy isn't supplying sharpened pencils to the military. He could charge 10 times as much
 
2013-09-20 09:11:43 AM  

gja: EViLTeW: flucto: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

Thanks for taking the lead with the puns. They should have started by comment #2.

This thread doesn't need to be lead astray by the likes of you two.

Let me give you 2 a tip, you guys aren't making any sense. Go back and draft better responses that don't crumble under their own weight. Your entire line of reasoning is off. Really, you 2 are just a couple of cads.


The quality of the puns here seems to be taking a turn for the worse but I just can't visualize it unless I graph-ite
 
2013-09-20 09:12:13 AM  
 
2013-09-20 09:17:07 AM  

ReapTheChaos: .50 cents at any drug store. Now get the fark off my lawn.

[www.photo-dictionary.com image 700x525]


2 pencil sharpeners for a penny?  Are you living in 1837?
 
2013-09-20 09:18:43 AM  

doublesecretprobation: at first i thought, ok, maybe there's a guy out there who specializes in sharpening some unique highly specialized form of pencils that require refined technique and custom equipment to sharpen.  but no, just yellow #2's.  i'm calling satire.


It started as satire, but he actually made a shopping cart and people thrust money into his hands.

What the fark is he going to do, not take the money?
 
2013-09-20 09:21:53 AM  

flucto: http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/about.html

W.T.F?


of course John Hodgman wrote a forward for his book. Of course.
 
2013-09-20 09:24:44 AM  

nutkick_42: Danger Mouse: Deep Contact: I don't get the point.

That's no surprise. You never were the sharpest pencil in the box.

No more pencil puns.  I that that's a ferrule.


WHAR GRAFITE WHAR?
 
2013-09-20 09:58:36 AM  

flucto: http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/about.html

W.T.F?


analpencilsharpeningisart?
 
2013-09-20 10:17:44 AM  
If you're working a job in something that wasn't a job but a fun thing to do when you started out, and keep at it. Some psychiatrist will be very happy to make money from therapy sessions years down the road.
 
2013-09-20 10:49:11 AM  

Thunderboy: flucto: http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/about.html

W.T.F?

analpencilsharpeningisart?


art is anal
 
2013-09-20 10:51:18 AM  
CBS Sunday Morning did a story on this guy a few months ago.  It was fairly interesting.  Still pretty dumb.
 
2013-09-20 11:04:39 AM  

skycruiser-x: ReapTheChaos: .50 cents at any drug store. Now get the fark off my lawn.

[www.photo-dictionary.com image 700x525]

2 pencil sharpeners for a penny?  Are you living in 1837?


http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/2006/12/verizon-doesnt-know-dollars- fr om-cents.html
 
2013-09-20 11:17:27 AM  

BetterMetalSnake: HAMMERTOE: Not sure he really wants publicity like this. You see, once Obama finds out the exorbitant fees he's charging to sharpen pencils, an Affordable Pencilcare Act is sure to follow. Then, not only will he continue to make $35 a pencil, but several layers of bureaucracy will also be installed, to ensure the standard of sharpness, consistency, proper packaging and labeling of his pencils, conduct environmental studies and ascertain the potential global warming impact of any pencil-vapor released from his activities. When all this bureaucracy raises the per-pencil cost to $65, further layers of bureaucracy will be brought in, to ensure that everybody has pencilcare insurance, and that everybody is indeed required to purchase pencilcare insurance. But don't worry. you will still be able to employ your own pencil sharpener, after you have paid their "boutique sharpening" fee (which makes up for the financial hit the Affordable Pencilcare
Act imposes on them.)

etc.

Nope, nope, nope


You're going to deny poor people affordable pencilcare?

YOU MONSTER
 
2013-09-20 11:18:58 AM  

Thunderboy: flucto: http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/about.html

W.T.F?

analpencilsharpeningisart?


Only if your name is Artis.
 
2013-09-20 11:42:21 AM  

Carn: He shares his "secrets".  Spoiler alert:  you use a pencil sharpener.


Nope, I´ve seen the original video.

You should get the book.
 
2013-09-20 11:45:43 AM  

sethen320: I saw his website a few years ago. I always thought it was a joke. Didn't realize people were dumb enough to actually pay him.


I considered getting one as a gift.

Do you consider art in general dumb, or just his?

As far as I´m concerned, most art is a lot dumber than his. His was very unique and cool.
 
2013-09-20 12:20:13 PM  
I vaguely recall someone sending me pictures of intricate miniature artworks carved from the tips of #2 pencils.
Those might be worth $35.

Sorry, I'm too lazy to do a Google Search.
 
2013-09-20 12:34:07 PM  
Thinking about No. 2 pencils reminds me that my breakdancing name is Scantron
 
2013-09-20 12:34:57 PM  
I feel as baffled at the thought of people paying that amount of money for that product as I did when I heard about bonsai kittens well over a decade ago.
 
2013-09-20 12:36:04 PM  
this is the m-effer who writes terrible recaps of Top Chef for Grubstreet.  ass.
 
2013-09-20 12:39:02 PM  
Cousin still stuck making pencils, though ...

ak1.picdn.net
 
2013-09-20 12:39:14 PM  

spawn73: sethen320: I saw his website a few years ago. I always thought it was a joke. Didn't realize people were dumb enough to actually pay him.

I considered getting one as a gift.

Do you consider art in general dumb, or just his?

As far as I´m concerned, most art is a lot dumber than his. His was very unique and cool.


Wow. That was pretty douchey. Art is subjective.

I love art. I own a lot of it. You may or may not like some of it. Should I make broad generalizations about you too?
 
2013-09-20 12:41:50 PM  

spawn73: sethen320: I saw his website a few years ago. I always thought it was a joke. Didn't realize people were dumb enough to actually pay him.

I considered getting one as a gift.

Do you consider art in general dumb, or just his?

As far as I´m concerned, most art is a lot dumber than his. His was very unique and cool.


Actually, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I thought the book was a great idea. What I meant was that I thought the whole paying the guy to sharpen a pencil or buy one was a joke meant to reinforce the book.
 
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