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(Reuters)   BlackBerry's new smartphone is so efficient, it requires 40% less jobs   (reuters.com) divider line 34
    More: Scary, BlackBerry, smartphones, Toronto Stock Exchange, equity analyst, BlackBerry Messenger, Galaxy S4, blog software, canadian cents  
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948 clicks; posted to Business » on 18 Sep 2013 at 7:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-18 07:58:19 PM  
Yeah, well, the new iPhone requires 100% less Jobs.
 
2013-09-18 08:23:30 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Yeah, well, the new iPhone requires 100% less Jobs.


This is the final boarding call for Jet Blue flight 666, non-stop for Hell. Final boarding call for flight 666 to Hell departing from gate Z16.
 
2013-09-18 08:33:36 PM  
Concourse Z, eh?  I've flown out of there a couple times on 747-8s.  I call upper deck!
 
2013-09-18 08:34:41 PM  
Sleazing their way back to the top, 80's style.
 
2013-09-18 08:51:17 PM  
"We will not comment on rumors and speculation," said BlackBerry spokesman Adam Emery. "We are in the second phase of our transformation plan. Organizational moves will continue to occur to ensure we have the right people in the right roles to drive new opportunities."

Wow, what a wordsmith professional! "Organizational moves" = firing people.  "Right people in the right roles" = everyone gone except for the people left to dissolve the company.  "New opportunities" = selling its patents to the highest bidder.
 
2013-09-18 09:05:00 PM  

valkore: "We will not comment on rumors and speculation," said BlackBerry spokesman Adam Emery. "We are in the second phase of our transformation plan. Organizational moves will continue to occur to ensure we have the right people in the right roles to drive new opportunities."

Wow, what a wordsmith professional! "Organizational moves" = firing people.  "Right people in the right roles" = everyone gone except for the people left to dissolve the company.  "New opportunities" = selling its patents to the highest bidder.


There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.
 
2013-09-18 09:27:30 PM  

sno man: Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.


Of course not.  There are still plenty of people out there who still use each discrete device that performs a function long since been integrated into phones.  I'm not sure who the leading PDA vendor is these days, but hey, you can always get a paper Day-Timer.
 
2013-09-18 09:41:46 PM  

dbirchall: sno man: Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

Of course not.  There are still plenty of people out there who still use each discrete device that performs a function long since been integrated into phones.  I'm not sure who the leading PDA vendor is these days, but hey, you can always get a paper Day-Timer.


yea, HDTV is SO COOL on my 5" phone... that inch thick 42" flat screen hanging on my wall is sooo last year.
 
2013-09-18 10:04:03 PM  
... fewerjobs.
 
2013-09-18 10:32:13 PM  
No RIM job jokes? Fark I am dissapoint.
 
2013-09-18 10:52:48 PM  

sno man: dbirchall: sno man: Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

Of course not.  There are still plenty of people out there who still use each discrete device that performs a function long since been integrated into phones.  I'm not sure who the leading PDA vendor is these days, but hey, you can always get a paper Day-Timer.

yea, HDTV is SO COOL on my 5" phone... that inch thick 42" flat screen hanging on my wall is sooo last year.


I'm still waiting for a decent app to make my iPhone wash the dishes.
 
2013-09-19 12:23:08 AM  

sno man: dbirchall: sno man: Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

Of course not.  There are still plenty of people out there who still use each discrete device that performs a function long since been integrated into phones.  I'm not sure who the leading PDA vendor is these days, but hey, you can always get a paper Day-Timer.

yea, HDTV is SO COOL on my 5" phone... that inch thick 42" flat screen hanging on my wall is sooo last year.


Can you put that inch thick 42" flat screen on your pocket, and watch it on the train?
 
2013-09-19 12:36:04 AM  
5 years ago they should have started working on an App for iPhone and Android that that simulated a Blackberry and allowed BES to communicate with those devices. 3.5 years ago they should have released the app. They should have also built their own Android phones to release at the same time as the App. They should have stopped working on new BB devices at that time as well, just letting what little remained peter out.

They would be rolling in the dough right now selling the App and BES across all platforms and phones. At my firm we use Good and Mobile Iron for secure access to email and other internal resources. Those businesses wouldn't even exist right now if Blackberry had done as I suggest.

Admittedly I only came up with this plan 4 years ago, but it isn't even my job to think about this kind of thing. The people who are paid to think about this really should have realized how close to complete self-destruction they were and at least started this kind of move 4.5 years ago.
 
2013-09-19 12:39:44 AM  

arentol: 5 years ago they should have started working on an App for iPhone and Android that that simulated a Blackberry and allowed BES to communicate with those devices. 3.5 years ago they should have released the app. They should have also built their own Android phones to release at the same time as the App. They should have stopped working on new BB devices at that time as well, just letting what little remained peter out.

They would be rolling in the dough right now selling the App and BES across all platforms and phones. At my firm we use Good and Mobile Iron for secure access to email and other internal resources. Those businesses wouldn't even exist right now if Blackberry had done as I suggest.

Admittedly I only came up with this plan 4 years ago, but it isn't even my job to think about this kind of thing. The people who are paid to think about this really should have realized how close to complete self-destruction they were and at least started this kind of move 4.5 years ago.


The big thing was the physical keyboard. The apps could all be reasonably simulated in software, but the tactile keys were the big differentiator.
 
2013-09-19 01:08:16 AM  
Kinda sad... the z10 is a really nice phone.  Amazing they can produce something like that with their heads so far up their asses.
 
2013-09-19 01:46:14 AM  
arentol: Admittedly I only came up with this plan 4 years ago, but it isn't even my job to think about this kind of thing. The people who are paid to think about this really should have realized how close to complete self-destruction they were and at least started this kind of move 4.5 years ago.

The only benefit of a bes blackberry is you take a new one or a nuked old one and set it up with one step with enterprise activation. Your plan, while easily allowing users to remain blackberry users across any device, would not really answer the problem that bes solved. Bes emulation would just be yet another app that had to be installed.
 
2013-09-19 02:27:10 AM  
Just make an Android phone with one of your legendary keyboards. Swiftkey is pretty awesome, but I do miss the keyboard from time to time. Even the Droid4 which has come a long way isn't as comfortable to me as my BB World Edition.
 
2013-09-19 02:53:00 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Yeah, well, the new iPhone requires 100% less Jobs.


Why is this thread still open?
 
2013-09-19 04:30:17 AM  
Done in one
 
2013-09-19 04:41:10 AM  
Blackberry World Headquarters:

i651.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-19 05:56:44 AM  

jankyboy: ... fewer jobs.


Glad I wasn't the only one.
 
2013-09-19 07:52:33 AM  

valkore: "We will not comment on rumors and speculation," said BlackBerry spokesman Adam Emery. "We are in the second phase of our transformation plan. Organizational moves will continue to occur to ensure we have the right people in the right roles to drive new opportunities."

Wow, what a wordsmith professional! "Organizational moves" = firing people.  "Right people in the right roles" = everyone gone except for the people left to dissolve the company.  "New opportunities" = selling its patents to the highest bidder.


Good god do I hate the optimistic corporate lingo. I was working for a company a few years ago that was slowly shuttering down its branch locations (I worked at the main one). We would receive three or four of those a week. It sucked when they started sendinge e-mails out about our branch. It blew balls when, during our final two weeks, they had us training our replacements ('IT techs' in the philippines).

There was a Cracked article a few years back that described the 4-6 signs that your company was about to fold. Mine hit every criteria
 
2013-09-19 07:54:34 AM  
I guess I was the only one that took the headline as a swipe at the President?
 
2013-09-19 08:04:49 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Yeah, well, the new iPhone requires 100% less Jobs.


it'sbeautiful.jpg
 
2013-09-19 09:17:19 AM  

sno man: valkore: "We will not comment on rumors and speculation," said BlackBerry spokesman Adam Emery. "We are in the second phase of our transformation plan. Organizational moves will continue to occur to ensure we have the right people in the right roles to drive new opportunities."

Wow, what a wordsmith professional! "Organizational moves" = firing people.  "Right people in the right roles" = everyone gone except for the people left to dissolve the company.  "New opportunities" = selling its patents to the highest bidder.

There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.


I've never heard any owner of a smartphone complain that their device wouldn't make calls. Perhaps you'd like to march boldly into last decade and see what technology has been up to?
 
2013-09-19 09:43:03 AM  

Carousel Beast: sno man:There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

I've never heard any owner of a smartphone complain that their device wouldn't make calls. Perhaps you'd like to march boldly into last decade and see what technology has been up to?


bite me.
5.5M hits.
 
2013-09-19 11:09:35 AM  

jankyboy: ... fewerjobs.


exactly.  And I don't think I'm normally a grammar nazi.  This one drives me nuts though.
 
2013-09-19 11:33:53 AM  

sno man: Carousel Beast: sno man:There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

I've never heard any owner of a smartphone complain that their device wouldn't make calls. Perhaps you'd like to march boldly into last decade and see what technology has been up to?

bite me.
5.5M hits.


My Nexus 4 makes calls just fine.  And it's also a much better smartphone than any Blackberry.

Also, 1.6M hits.
 
2013-09-19 11:48:17 AM  
sno man wants you all off his lawn, you're bothering him while he's trying to wind up his phone to get to the operator to put him through.
 
2013-09-19 12:44:14 PM  

aevorea: valkore: "We will not comment on rumors and speculation," said BlackBerry spokesman Adam Emery. "We are in the second phase of our transformation plan. Organizational moves will continue to occur to ensure we have the right people in the right roles to drive new opportunities."

Wow, what a wordsmith professional! "Organizational moves" = firing people.  "Right people in the right roles" = everyone gone except for the people left to dissolve the company.  "New opportunities" = selling its patents to the highest bidder.

Good god do I hate the optimistic corporate lingo.


Well, if they told the truth, they'd be out of business in days.  They're trying to delay the inevitable.
 
2013-09-19 01:25:09 PM  

sno man: Carousel Beast: sno man:There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

I've never heard any owner of a smartphone complain that their device wouldn't make calls. Perhaps you'd like to march boldly into last decade and see what technology has been up to?

bite me.
5.5M hits.


I hear the Jitterbug is a pretty solid phone.
 
2013-09-19 03:53:32 PM  

sno man: Carousel Beast: sno man:There has been some talk of them going private too... Hope so, the whole vulture capitalism thing has about run it's course and killed more than a few good companies along the way, besides the Z10 is a nice phone, or Q10 for the keyboard crowd.  Not everyone wants a toy.  Personally, I need a PHONE that works really well as a PHONE, the odd few apps are gravy, not the steak.  I can't be the only one.

I've never heard any owner of a smartphone complain that their device wouldn't make calls. Perhaps you'd like to march boldly into last decade and see what technology has been up to?

bite me.
5.5M hits.


Wow man, careful - you'll throw out your back moving those goal posts.

Dropped calls is a function of the network, not the device. Or are you saying the same craptastic AT&T network never drops calls on your rimjob?
 
2013-09-19 05:23:26 PM  

sno man: yea, HDTV is SO COOL on my 5" phone... that inch thick 42" flat screen hanging on my wall is sooo last year.


You say that as if you're proud of a 42 inch display with the resolution of a cell phone.
 
2013-09-19 07:21:18 PM  
It's funny, because BLACKberry now has 3/5ths the amount of jobs it had before...
 
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