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(Business Insider)   Thirteen rules for using commas, without looking like an idiot   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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10438 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2013 at 4:56 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-18 04:32:57 PM  
13 votes:
I'll bet Stephen Hawking can't stand, being crippled
2013-09-18 04:41:29 PM  
6 votes:
Thirteen rules for using commas without looking, like an idiot.

2013-09-18 04:26:45 PM  
4 votes:
2013-09-18 05:25:00 PM  
3 votes:
I view the comma like a penis. If you can fit it in, then do so.

/it even looks like a sperm
2013-09-18 05:15:32 PM  
3 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-09-18 05:31:11 PM  
2 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: PanicMan: Anytime you would pause while speaking out loud, use a comma.

What, if, you, have, a, really, bad, stammer?

k,k,k,k,k,k,k,ken's,coming,to,k,k,k,kill me
2013-09-18 05:18:27 PM  
2 votes:
weknowawesome.comView Full Size

Hooray for the Internet, Strippers and the Oxford Comma!
2013-09-18 05:08:33 PM  
2 votes:
I'm not amused. A friend of mine is in a comma after a colon infection went bad.
2013-09-18 05:07:04 PM  
2 votes:

bikerbob59: So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?

epiclol.comView Full Size

As an example.
2013-09-18 05:03:30 PM  
2 votes:
So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?
2013-09-18 05:03:00 PM  
2 votes:
,,,,,,'n Eileen
2013-09-18 05:00:42 PM  
2 votes:
I'd like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.
2013-09-18 05:00:34 PM  
2 votes:
Reminds me of a Russian professor I had who always and exclusively used Katherine the Great and her horse examples for grammar.
2013-09-18 04:58:51 PM  
2 votes:
People who don't use the Harvard comma are doodyheads.
2013-09-18 04:38:03 PM  
2 votes:
2013-09-18 04:32:49 PM  
2 votes:
2013-09-18 08:48:50 PM  
1 vote:
2013-09-18 07:20:01 PM  
1 vote:

Josu: FormlessOne: Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.

I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, but there are times when using it can introduce ambiguity:

There have been exactly two times in my life when I have become so frustrated with a teacher that I walked out because I didn't trust myself to be in the same room with them.

1. I got a failing grade in a math test in 5th grade. Really. Fricking 5th grade. The choices were finite, uncountable, and infinite. The teacher failed me because we (in her words) had a difference of opinion as to what uncountable/infinite meant. The teacher was adamant that her examples: 'Number of grains of sand on a beach', or 'Number of stars in the universe' - was infinite. I was shaking I was so angry; my first real disillusionment with infallible educators - whew. Walking out of a class in 5th grade, got me in quite a bit of trouble. Refusing to 'correct' my answers... I basically did double homework for a month. The teacher used the 'grains of sand' question on the final - I swear just to see if I'd cave and put the 'correct' answer... I'd aced the rest of the test, and didn't want to give her the satisfaction; I left it blank.

2. Some advanced education classes were impressed upon the workforce as a 'perk' - one of which was a master's level English writing course. The PhD teaching the class insisted that the Oxford comma was extraneous; along with my use of the letter u in gauntlet among other of my 'quaint, antiquated' spellings. When I gave examples of how ambiguity could be created both with and without the extra comma, she got visibly angry and insisted that no such ambiguity existed. I couldn't believe it.

So for our next assignment, I wrote an entire paper with every paragraph containing at least one ambiguous sentence - it was a several page assignment and I must have written 20 of the damned things; by the end you had no real idea who did what to whom.

And that B***h... Left eye twitching, frozen half smile on her face, made a few suggestions as to a descriptive word choice, and/or use of a semi-colon, wrote 'Clear! Concise!' across the top, and gave me an A. She pulled me aside after class, and told me that, being an older gentleman, that a certain inflexibility was to be understood; that she'd contact my employer the next morning to inform him that the class was a waste of my time, and had 'passed' me - I no longer needed to attend her class.

/it's gauntlet, damn it.
2013-09-18 07:13:41 PM  
1 vote:
RE the "oxford comma" - any "confusion" in that case would be better remedied by rewriting the sentence.

But that would require effort.
2013-09-18 06:49:38 PM  
1 vote:

mediablitz: tuna fingers: I just recently dropped the use of a comma in a specific use in emails. "Thank you, Liz." has become, "Thank you Liz.". I dropped it because I was the only person using one in this situation. Ever.

I still use that comma. I refuse to give up.

This. I still use the double-space at the start of a new sentence, too. :)
2013-09-18 05:33:14 PM  
1 vote:

Danger Avoid Death: PanicMan: Anytime you would pause while speaking out loud, use a comma.

What, if, you, have, a, really, bad, stammer?

Then, Full Size

that's bullshiat.
2013-09-18 05:31:54 PM  
1 vote:
That's just like, your opinion man.
2013-09-18 05:31:23 PM  
1 vote:
Let's eat grandma.
Let's eat, grandma.
2013-09-18 05:30:41 PM  
1 vote:

MNguy: The comma following a series is called a 'serial comma,' it is is not named after a University.

Oxford's not a university; it's a complete dump.

bankbabble.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-09-18 05:25:54 PM  
1 vote:

PanicMan: Anytime you would pause while speaking out loud, use a comma.

What, if, you, have, a, really, bad, stammer?
2013-09-18 05:16:47 PM  
1 vote:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size
2013-09-18 05:13:49 PM  
1 vote:
You just put it anywhere that an f-bomb would work.
2013-09-18 05:11:39 PM  
1 vote:
comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, commaealion,,, you come and go,,,,,,, you come and go.
2013-09-18 05:10:40 PM  
1 vote:
english109mercy.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

Pretty funny.
2013-09-18 05:07:17 PM  
1 vote:
I got bored at rule 7, when she abandoned the duck theme.
2013-09-18 05:07:03 PM  
1 vote:
2013-09-18 05:04:37 PM  
1 vote:
Isn't all of that ,,,,,n knowledge?
2013-09-18 05:03:50 PM  
1 vote:
Eats, shoots, and leaves?
2013-09-18 05:03:44 PM  
1 vote:
Thirteen, rules, for using, commas, without, looking like, an idiot.

Fixed for William Shatner.
2013-09-18 05:02:11 PM  
1 vote:
img.gawkerassets.comView Full Size

Tha,t,',s ,, is, w,,h,y, they s,e,,n,t, me,. I am a,n,, ex,,,,per,t.
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