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(Business Insider)   Thirteen rules for using commas, without looking like an idiot   (businessinsider.com) divider line 113
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10391 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2013 at 4:56 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-18 05:31:05 PM
Oh lord, I know someone who desperately needs this. Because she, types like, this. I don't even know, what rules, are being applied, since it's not even, at normal pauses, just mini-phrases. But she'd never make it past #2 before getting bored.
 
2013-09-18 05:31:11 PM

Danger Avoid Death: PanicMan: Anytime you would pause while speaking out loud, use a comma.

What, if, you, have, a, really, bad, stammer?


k,k,k,k,k,k,k,ken's,coming,to,k,k,k,kill me
 
2013-09-18 05:31:23 PM
Let's eat grandma.
Let's eat, grandma.
 
2013-09-18 05:31:33 PM
Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.
 
2013-09-18 05:31:48 PM

bikerbob59: So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?


It depends on how much it weighs.
 
2013-09-18 05:31:54 PM
That's just like, your opinion man.
 
2013-09-18 05:32:19 PM

ginandbacon: Millennium: Thirteen, rules, for using, commas, without, looking like, an idiot.

Fixed for William Shatner.

Thirteen rules for...using...commas without looking...like an...idiot.

Fixed...for Christopher...Walken

Louis-Ferdinand Céline  .
 
2013-09-18 05:32:44 PM

MNguy: The comma following a series is called a 'serial comma,' it is is not named after a University.


Now why the hell would you use a comma there? This isn't 'Nam. There are rules.
 
2013-09-18 05:32:51 PM
content.internetvideoarchive.com


Pierre has two horses, Jacques and Paris France, both girls. He rides Paris France on the brick roads in London, looking for mysterious things. Pierre, he rides for pleasure.
 
2013-09-18 05:33:14 PM

Danger Avoid Death: PanicMan: Anytime you would pause while speaking out loud, use a comma.

What, if, you, have, a, really, bad, stammer?


Then,

ic.pics.livejournal.com

that's bullshiat.
 
2013-09-18 05:34:03 PM

Yes please: MNguy: The comma following a series is called a 'serial comma,' it is is not named after a University.

Now, why the hell would you use a comma there? This isn't 'Nam, there are rules.


ftfy
 
2013-09-18 05:34:18 PM
Okay, my eyes glazed over with the first sentence about "coordinating conjunctions".
 
2013-09-18 05:40:40 PM

mediablitz: Thirteen rules for using commas without looking, like an idiot.

FIXED


Excellent.
 
2013-09-18 05:44:48 PM

MNguy: Yes please: MNguy: The comma following a series is called a 'serial comma,' it is is not named after a University.

Now, why the hell would you use a comma there? This isn't 'Nam, there are rules.

ftfy


i271.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-18 05:55:53 PM

FormlessOne: Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.


I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, but there are times when using it can introduce ambiguity:

"I went with my friend, James, and Marie."

If you mean that your friend and James are two different people, the ambiguity can be removed by leaving out the Oxford comma.  But really, just rephrase it :P
 
2013-09-18 05:56:58 PM

DrunkWithImpotence: [weknowawesome.com image 500x654]
Hooray for the Internet, Strippers and the Oxford Comma!


Is it wrong that in that cartoon, JFK doesn't make that ugly of a stripper?
 
2013-09-18 06:14:39 PM
brevity.files.wordpress.com
brevity.files.wordpress.com
brevity.files.wordpress.com
brevity.files.wordpress.com

,

brevity.files.wordpress.com
www.familytreecounseling.com
 
2013-09-18 06:17:34 PM
So, they left "looking like an idiot" out of the reasons?
 
2013-09-18 06:21:48 PM

tuna fingers: I just recently dropped the use of a comma in a specific use in emails. "Thank you, Liz." has become, "Thank you Liz.". I dropped it because I was the only person using one in this situation. Ever.


I still use that comma. I refuse to give up.
 
2013-09-18 06:26:44 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: uber humper: [english109mercy.files.wordpress.com image 304x439]

Pretty funny.

Especially because she was wrong in some instances.

/"sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment


FTFM
 
2013-09-18 06:35:53 PM

wambu: I'd rather have a comma than a semi-colon.


Semicolons can be very useful; I use semicolons all the time when they are appropriate.
 
2013-09-18 06:39:46 PM
might as well get in on the fun
s15.postimg.org
 
2013-09-18 06:47:31 PM

gfid: flucto: Reminds me of a Russian professor I had who always and exclusively used Katherine the Great and her horse examples for grammar.

Who the hell is Katherine the Great?


I'm more curious about her "horse examples for grammar."

/next lesson: scare quotes
//or maybe hyphens
 
2013-09-18 06:49:33 PM
Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo.

/complete sentence
 
2013-09-18 06:49:38 PM

mediablitz: tuna fingers: I just recently dropped the use of a comma in a specific use in emails. "Thank you, Liz." has become, "Thank you Liz.". I dropped it because I was the only person using one in this situation. Ever.

I still use that comma. I refuse to give up.


This. I still use the double-space at the start of a new sentence, too. :)
 
2013-09-18 06:57:53 PM

Danger Avoid Death: bikerbob59: So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?

[www.epiclol.com image 482x666]

As an example.


You just made my whole week. <3
 
2013-09-18 07:06:33 PM

lesliessexxy: Danger Avoid Death: bikerbob59: So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?

[www.epiclol.com image 482x666]

As an example.

You just made my whole week. <3


Better than your hole weak, or is it?
 
2013-09-18 07:13:41 PM
RE the "oxford comma" - any "confusion" in that case would be better remedied by rewriting the sentence.

But that would require effort.
 
2013-09-18 07:15:11 PM

sporkme: Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo.

/complete sentence


Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
 
2013-09-18 07:19:03 PM

JNowe: You just put it anywhere that an f-bomb would work.


That is abso-farking-lutely wrong. Therefore, you're a farking idiot.

/"farking" is the only infix in American English. British English also has "bloody".
//an infix is like a prefix or a suffix, but it goes in between morphemes within a word. UNLIKE COMMAS.
 
2013-09-18 07:20:01 PM

Josu: FormlessOne: Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.

I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, but there are times when using it can introduce ambiguity:


There have been exactly two times in my life when I have become so frustrated with a teacher that I walked out because I didn't trust myself to be in the same room with them.

1. I got a failing grade in a math test in 5th grade. Really. Fricking 5th grade. The choices were finite, uncountable, and infinite. The teacher failed me because we (in her words) had a difference of opinion as to what uncountable/infinite meant. The teacher was adamant that her examples: 'Number of grains of sand on a beach', or 'Number of stars in the universe' - was infinite. I was shaking I was so angry; my first real disillusionment with infallible educators - whew. Walking out of a class in 5th grade, got me in quite a bit of trouble. Refusing to 'correct' my answers... I basically did double homework for a month. The teacher used the 'grains of sand' question on the final - I swear just to see if I'd cave and put the 'correct' answer... I'd aced the rest of the test, and didn't want to give her the satisfaction; I left it blank.

2. Some advanced education classes were impressed upon the workforce as a 'perk' - one of which was a master's level English writing course. The PhD teaching the class insisted that the Oxford comma was extraneous; along with my use of the letter u in gauntlet among other of my 'quaint, antiquated' spellings. When I gave examples of how ambiguity could be created both with and without the extra comma, she got visibly angry and insisted that no such ambiguity existed. I couldn't believe it.

So for our next assignment, I wrote an entire paper with every paragraph containing at least one ambiguous sentence - it was a several page assignment and I must have written 20 of the damned things; by the end you had no real idea who did what to whom.

And that B***h... Left eye twitching, frozen half smile on her face, made a few suggestions as to a descriptive word choice, and/or use of a semi-colon, wrote 'Clear! Concise!' across the top, and gave me an A. She pulled me aside after class, and told me that, being an older gentleman, that a certain inflexibility was to be understood; that she'd contact my employer the next morning to inform him that the class was a waste of my time, and had 'passed' me - I no longer needed to attend her class.

/it's gauntlet, damn it.
 
2013-09-18 07:20:31 PM
13 rules. Oh come on, the Bible only had 10.
 
2013-09-18 07:24:59 PM
Bah, the problem with that article is that there are never any really concrete rules for comma use. You can use as many or few as you like, and you can put them almost anywhere. Some of the most famous authors of our time abuse the poor comma like it's a repressed housewife in the 1950's. Authors have published entire novels without using a single one and some overuse them (Dickens, anyone?) like they're going out of style.

As for the Oxford comma, which, I think we all know, is a fantastic tool, use it when it makes sense and the rest of the time don't burden any of the pleebs with it!
 
2013-09-18 07:38:09 PM

Josu: FormlessOne: Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.

I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, but there are times when using it can introduce ambiguity:

"I went with my friend, James, and Marie."

If you mean that your friend and James are two different people, the ambiguity can be removed by leaving out the Oxford comma.  But really, just rephrase it :P


Unless James is your only friend, the proper way to punctuate it is "I went with my friend James and Marie."

"I went with my friend, James and Marie" signifies that your only have one friend, who is both James and Marie, which is exponentially more interesting but not ambiguous.

Now, if the sentence were "I went with my wife, Morgan Fairchild, and Elvis Costello," then it becomes ambiguous.
 
2013-09-18 07:54:04 PM
Why let your period stop you?  Continue with your day. . .with Comma.  Comma feminine projects allow to to carry on with your day, never stopping for rhyme or reason.  When your monthly sentence seems to be bringing you to an end, remember Comma.  You can run on and on and on and on. . .

/simple though
//comma is a pause when speaking
///period is when you take a breath
\\\opposite slashies are confused by semi-colons
////actually not - take a breath
 
2013-09-18 07:56:09 PM
, wrong
 
2013-09-18 07:59:14 PM

lizzyjo: sporkme: Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo.

/complete sentence

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.


One article I read about this basically said it could go forever and still be grammatically correct, but my brain turned to goo before I internalized it.
 
2013-09-18 08:06:55 PM

MustardTiger: [content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]


Pierre has two horses, Jacques and Paris France, both girls. He rides Paris France on the brick roads in London, looking for mysterious things. Pierre, he rides for pleasure.


I thought I was the only one who has seen that movie. I love Gentlemen Broncos.

/need grammar and punctuation lessons in a bad way
 
2013-09-18 08:07:45 PM
Badly in need of a comma:
b.vimeocdn.com
 
2013-09-18 08:13:51 PM
commas are so old school --  I'm an m-dash girl.
 
2013-09-18 08:29:29 PM

love_alice: commas are so old school --  I'm an m-dash girl.


What the hell?

Be civilized and use Alt+0150 - or Alt+0151 for a long dash -

/the 0150 or 0151 need to be typed on the 10-key to the side of your keyboard not the numbers above.
 
2013-09-18 08:29:36 PM

lizzyjo: sporkme: Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, buffalo.

/complete sentence

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.


Why stop at eight?

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, Buffalo buffalo.
 
2013-09-18 08:30:09 PM

uber humper: love_alice: commas are so old school --  I'm an m-dash girl.

What the hell?

Be civilized and use Alt+0150 - or Alt+0151 for a long dash -

/the 0150 or 0151 need to be typed on the 10-key to the side of your keyboard not the numbers above.


Fark.  It didn't go though on here
 
2013-09-18 08:48:50 PM
tl,dr
 
2013-09-18 09:06:05 PM

uber humper: uber humper: love_alice: commas are so old school --  I'm an m-dash girl.

What the hell?

Be civilized and use Alt+0150 - or Alt+0151 for a long dash -

/the 0150 or 0151 need to be typed on the 10-key to the side of your keyboard not the numbers above.

Fark.  It didn't go though on here


Yeah. Unless it's my settings, 0151 renders as 0150 (to my annoyance).
 
2013-09-18 09:22:12 PM

Tired_of_the_BS: Josu: FormlessOne: Came here for reiteration of the Oxford comma, left gleeful, joyous, and happy.

I'm a fan of the Oxford comma, but there are times when using it can introduce ambiguity:

There have been exactly two times in my life when I have become so frustrated with a teacher that I walked out because I didn't trust myself to be in the same room with them.

1. I got a failing grade in a math test in 5th grade. Really. Fricking 5th grade. The choices were finite, uncountable, and infinite. The teacher failed me because we (in her words) had a difference of opinion as to what uncountable/infinite meant. The teacher was adamant that her examples: 'Number of grains of sand on a beach', or 'Number of stars in the universe' - was infinite. I was shaking I was so angry; my first real disillusionment with infallible educators - whew. Walking out of a class in 5th grade, got me in quite a bit of trouble. Refusing to 'correct' my answers... I basically did double homework for a month. The teacher used the 'grains of sand' question on the final - I swear just to see if I'd cave and put the 'correct' answer... I'd aced the rest of the test, and didn't want to give her the satisfaction; I left it blank.

2. Some advanced education classes were impressed upon the workforce as a 'perk' - one of which was a master's level English writing course. The PhD teaching the class insisted that the Oxford comma was extraneous; along with my use of the letter u in gauntlet among other of my 'quaint, antiquated' spellings. When I gave examples of how ambiguity could be created both with and without the extra comma, she got visibly angry and insisted that no such ambiguity existed. I couldn't believe it.

So for our next assignment, I wrote an entire paper with every paragraph containing at least one ambiguous sentence - it was a several page assignment and I must have written 20 of the damned things; by the end you had no real idea who did what to whom.

And that B***h... Left eye twit ...


I like you.  A lot.
 
2013-09-18 09:30:22 PM
Disclaimer:

No horses were jacked off in the production of this thread.
 
2013-09-18 09:39:49 PM

ArcadianRefugee: uber humper: uber humper: love_alice: commas are so old school --  I'm an m-dash girl.

What the hell?

Be civilized and use Alt+0150 - or Alt+0151 for a long dash -

/the 0150 or 0151 need to be typed on the 10-key to the side of your keyboard not the numbers above.

Fark.  It didn't go though on here

Yeah. Unless it's my settings, 0151 renders as 0150 (to my annoyance).


Not mine, 0151 was longer than - or the 0150.  Just that neither one rendered here.
 
2013-09-18 10:24:23 PM

uber humper: thisisyourbrainonFark: uber humper: [english109mercy.files.wordpress.com image 304x439]

Pretty funny.

Especially because she was wrong in some instances.

/"sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment

FTFM


Missed what you did there.
 
2013-09-18 10:31:42 PM

bikerbob59: So, when you see a duck you are to use commas?


Only if it is made out of wood.
 
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