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(Huffington Post)   "Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go fark yourself.""   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 154
    More: Amusing, Sanskrit, whole foods, reusable bags, sliding glass doors, gluten  
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7238 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2013 at 3:04 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



154 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-18 01:23:32 PM
Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.

images1.cliqueclack.com

U-Turn approves.
 
2013-09-18 01:59:05 PM
3rd submission with a headline pretty much like the other two.
 
2013-09-18 02:10:06 PM
i37.tinypic.com

"whole foods is expensive and full of hippies"
 
2013-09-18 02:29:20 PM

Sybarite: Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.

[images1.cliqueclack.com image 425x280]

U-Turn approves.


heh. nice.

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-18 02:40:41 PM
Okay that was funny. I LOLed.
 
2013-09-18 03:07:13 PM
A better headline in the first sentence of the article: Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.
 
2013-09-18 03:13:29 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTveP0ngOSs

Relevant?

/posted since the thread was disappointing so far
 
2013-09-18 03:14:32 PM

Danger Avoid Death: A better headline in the first sentence of the article: Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.


Yeah, that was a tough one. As subby, I thought the "Go fark yourself" one edged it out just barely...
 
2013-09-18 03:15:18 PM
Ahhh... I see you too have met my ex-wife.  I'm not supprised; she "knows" most guys she meets
 
2013-09-18 03:15:21 PM
Whole Foods on Lamar has like amazing females.
The refrigerated distribution hub out there on Interchange Blvd though, that place is a sausage-fest.
 
2013-09-18 03:15:50 PM
After reading that article I feel good that I'm fat, old, ugly & "traditional" in my eating/shopping habits.
Although it didn't do much for the white-guilt
 
2013-09-18 03:15:52 PM
Heh, subby said, ""Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go fark yourself."""
 
2013-09-18 03:15:58 PM
I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions.

LOL.
 
2013-09-18 03:16:17 PM
I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions.

I like her.  She's got moxie.
 
2013-09-18 03:16:47 PM

Ambivalence: Okay that was funny. I LOLed.

 
2013-09-18 03:16:48 PM
I shiat on whole paycheck all the time but i highly doubt even the biggest douche working there wouldn't call whole wheat bread poison to a customer.
 
2013-09-18 03:16:49 PM
So, just like the Jesus fish emblems or the "not of this world" stickers I see on cars? They don't reflect people's values, but what they aspire to aspire to.

Show it by your actions, your graven images are meaningless.

/yeah, the NOTW stickers are all on lifted trucks and not cars, but all the same...
//He may be NOTW, but He did see you cut me off.
 
2013-09-18 03:17:16 PM
This may be the funniest thing that HuffPo has ever posted.
 
2013-09-18 03:18:04 PM

GanjSmokr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTveP0ngOSs

Relevant?

/posted since the thread was disappointing so far


More relevant:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU
 
2013-09-18 03:18:43 PM
The only emblem worth having on a vehicle:

i.imgur.com

Show 'em how seriously you take these messages.
 
2013-09-18 03:19:00 PM
I'd kill you and everyone you love for an unsupervised hour in Whole Foods' cheese department.
 
2013-09-18 03:19:21 PM
FTA: Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions.

Right?
 
2013-09-18 03:19:31 PM

GanjSmokr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTveP0ngOSs

Relevant?

/posted since the thread was disappointing so far


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMC1_RH_b3k
 
2013-09-18 03:19:47 PM
Fark whole foods
 
2013-09-18 03:19:48 PM
The last time I went to whole foods was because my roomate "had" to get some BBQ some guy she "knows" made. It was ok but I wouldn't have paid that much for it.
 
2013-09-18 03:20:22 PM
That was funnie. Like fun-ish but not as much.
 
2013-09-18 03:21:09 PM
its jiz not giz right?
 
2013-09-18 03:21:10 PM
I think this is the best namaste

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/10099/53453
 
2013-09-18 03:22:44 PM
whoops ment BBQ sauce from some guy she "knows"


/been a long day and getting longer
 
2013-09-18 03:22:56 PM
Screw Whole Foods...Natural Grocers is cheaper and less snooty.
 
2013-09-18 03:23:45 PM

walkerhound: GanjSmokr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTveP0ngOSs

Relevant?

/posted since the thread was disappointing so far

More relevant:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU


Maybe it is... had I actually cared enough to read the article.

As it stands, I saw "namaste" and my hippie yoga friend says that alot so it made me think of ladies in tight yoga pants.
 
2013-09-18 03:23:49 PM
Back in August, my wife and I were in Dallas for a week and discovered Central Market. It's very much like Whole Foods, except that everything is priced sanely. About 40-50% less expensive than WF. I hate to admit liking anything in Texas, but, I'll make an exception for this place.
 
2013-09-18 03:24:26 PM
I went on a cleanse once; it was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I detoxified, I purified, I lost weight. On the other hand, I fell asleep on the highway, fantasized about eating a pigeon, and crapped my pants. I think I'll stick with the whole eating thing.

Awesome piece  :)
 
2013-09-18 03:24:36 PM

Bondith: I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions.

I like her.  She's got moxie.


If she's got Moxie, she probably didn't buy it at Whole Foods.
 
2013-09-18 03:24:40 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-18 03:24:53 PM
good writer.  well done.
 
2013-09-18 03:25:59 PM
When she started ranking herself, i googled for pictures of the author, but sadly i cannot determine if she really is a 2-3..
/i bet she's really a 6-7
//white knighting...
///bored at work...
 
2013-09-18 03:26:07 PM

Tango_down: its jiz not giz right?


But she swallows, so let it slide.
 
2013-09-18 03:26:43 PM
The level of butthurt in the comments regarding her calling gluten-free a rich people's problem is almost as funny as the rest of the article.
 
2013-09-18 03:26:59 PM

Tango_down: its jiz not giz right?


Neither, it's jizz.
 
2013-09-18 03:27:35 PM
I've been in a whole foods exactly twice so my experience is limited, but I do believe the author is making most of that up to excuse her inability to resist any form of marketing.

Except the parking lot part. Them farkers are crazy behind the wheel.
 
2013-09-18 03:27:40 PM
From a purely "quality of humor" standpoint, this article was "meh." It really read like an unedited first draft.

/much like this comment
 
2013-09-18 03:27:58 PM

goatleggedfellow: The only emblem worth having on a vehicle:

[i.imgur.com image 534x339]

Show 'em how seriously you take these messages.


On my old car I had the bumper sticker [This Space Intentionally Left Blank]. Pretty much summed up my opinion of bumper sticker opinions... :)
 
2013-09-18 03:29:11 PM
Made me lol when it made the facebook rounds yesterday, especially as I've been nearly rundown several times in the parking lot and inside the store (crazy drivers/cart pushers).

Still go from time to time, as they have a decent craft beer and cheese selection, and a half-decent hot-bar for a snack.
 
2013-09-18 03:29:23 PM

Tango_down: its jiz not giz right?


Giz is organic, free range, sustainably harvested, ethically produced, and fair trade. Not like your regular grocery store jiz. I'm surprised you didn't know that.
 
2013-09-18 03:30:53 PM

GanjSmokr: walkerhound: GanjSmokr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTveP0ngOSs

Relevant?

/posted since the thread was disappointing so far

More relevant:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

Maybe it is... had I actually cared enough to read the article.

As it stands, I saw "namaste" and my hippie yoga friend says that alot so it made me think of ladies in tight yoga pants.


In fact - I'm willing to be the author just recently saw the video and her "article" is a complete rip off of it.

/or maybe WF is just that ubiquitously douchey.
 
2013-09-18 03:33:30 PM
Is this the Whole Foods hater thread this month? Sweet, like a box of glutton-free agave sweetened raw brownies!
 
2013-09-18 03:34:07 PM

Mikey1969: Danger Avoid Death: A better headline in the first sentence of the article: Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.

Yeah, that was a tough one. As subby, I thought the "Go fark yourself" one edged it out just barely...


Great find, subby. That article was hysterical. After laughing my ass off, I sent the thing to a few friends.
 (The article, not my ass.)
 
2013-09-18 03:34:42 PM
I don't want no part of that vegetarian scene
I won't buy me a pair of designer jeans
No redwood hot tub to my name
I got all that I want and if it's all the same to you
I don't need a course in self-awareness
To find out who I am
And I'd rather have a, a Big Mac or a Jumbo Jack
Than all the bean sprouts in Japan


-- "Weird Al" Yankovic
 
2013-09-18 03:35:26 PM

iron_city_ap: Back in August, my wife and I were in Dallas for a week and discovered Central Market. It's very much like Whole Foods, except that everything is priced sanely. About 40-50% less expensive than WF. I hate to admit liking anything in Texas, but, I'll make an exception for this place.


Central Market is, indeed, nice. We also finally got Trader Joe's. I like TJ's, but that store seems to be for people who don't really like to cook.
 
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