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(Boston Globe)   Researchers discover that calmer cattle yield better steaks   (boston.com) divider line 99
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1768 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2004 at 4:44 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-01-15 04:30:14 PM
It makes sense.

What scares me is the possibility of selective breeding that will one day produce chemically altered obese cattle with short legs and oversized tenderloins casually lounging in their hammocks while waiting to become someones candlelit dinner.
 
2004-01-15 04:42:25 PM
Duh. The less movement it makes and the less tense it is, the less "exercise" the muscle will recieve which makes a more tender steak/filet.
 
2004-01-15 04:47:45 PM
Wait.

What about factory farms? Those cattle must be stressed their entire lives.
 
2004-01-15 04:48:04 PM
still no cure for cancer.
 
2004-01-15 04:48:09 PM
Your cow wants Prozac?
 
2004-01-15 04:48:17 PM
Meat, it's what's for dinner.

/PETA - People for Eating Tasty Animals.
 
2004-01-15 04:48:24 PM
That's why I love Texas, we have lots of happy cows!
 
2004-01-15 04:48:26 PM
doccm9 is correct. Duh, indeed, sir!
 
2004-01-15 04:48:56 PM
Obviously submitted by someone tired of YDWS headlines. Perfect opportunity here.
 
2004-01-15 04:49:41 PM
But if the cows are calm, then where's the beef ?
 
2004-01-15 04:50:28 PM
That story mooooved me.
 
2004-01-15 04:50:52 PM
He called me Greenhorn...I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had...
 
2004-01-15 04:51:05 PM
PETA=People Eating Temperamental Animals
 
2004-01-15 04:51:13 PM
 
2004-01-15 04:51:19 PM
DUH!

that's why you don't kill a running deer. adrenaline!!!
 
2004-01-15 04:51:28 PM
Ummmmmmmm....... Steak.
 
2004-01-15 04:51:33 PM
Your me wants steak.

And potatoes.

And some beer.
 
2004-01-15 04:51:56 PM
Then the cows started giving sour milk.

*flashback*

Bleagh! Bleagh! Stupid cows! Stupid cows! Eee hee hee hee!
 
2004-01-15 04:52:11 PM
 
2004-01-15 04:52:43 PM
Works for women too..
 
2004-01-15 04:52:44 PM
Calm, yes. The calm before THE STORM!

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew, no one imagined, the great Cow Guru.
 
2004-01-15 04:53:48 PM
yes...yes ...yes...i'll have that relaxed looking cow over there..mmmmm...
 
2004-01-15 04:53:56 PM
Your cow wants weed.
 
2004-01-15 04:54:28 PM
I'm sure Canadien beef is plenty "laid back".
 
2004-01-15 04:56:16 PM
/buys ranch and 3 tons of qualudes
 
sn0
2004-01-15 04:56:20 PM
Ugh.. Farmers have known this fact for years.
 
2004-01-15 04:56:24 PM
Ummm, yeah...I think the people of Kobe, Japan had that figured out centuries ago...

/$500 a pound...mmmmmm
 
2004-01-15 04:56:39 PM
Those cows aren't cranky; they're angry. Wait--they're mad?! Mad cows! Mad cows!
 
2004-01-15 04:56:47 PM
steelbuilder...yes..yes...that's the one...
 
2004-01-15 04:57:38 PM
As I like to tell my vegetarian friends:

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures...
Right next to my mashed potatoes.
 
2004-01-15 04:57:45 PM
duh, i've always said this...and i didn't have to do research about it. ha!
 
2004-01-15 04:57:58 PM
"Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?"
 
2004-01-15 04:58:11 PM
Calmer cattle = better steaks + crazy women = better lays = ? The Unified Theory is that much closer thanks to these intrepid researchers.
 
2004-01-15 04:58:33 PM
Kobe, Japan, mad cows! Gawzillra?
 
2004-01-15 04:58:52 PM
builder/welder..duhhhh...YES...THAT ONE!!!
 
2004-01-15 04:58:58 PM
Mmmmm.... Placid Hindu cow...

/fight club (sorta)
 
2004-01-15 04:59:56 PM
Curiously enough, "Exit Velocity" is also an excellent meausre for physicians to determine the degree to which someone has been sickened by tainted beef.


/Huuurk!
 
2004-01-15 05:01:13 PM
well duh, why do you think they get killed so fast if it was slow the meat would end up all tense and stringy. anything that dies relaxed will yield better meat.
 
2004-01-15 05:01:13 PM
Take that PETA you worthless piece of @#$#$%#$.....of course that is redundant.

VEGETARIAN- Indian word for bad hunter.
 
2004-01-15 05:01:35 PM
Thank you Flammenwerfer . You beat me to the punch.
 
2004-01-15 05:01:55 PM
Quite a conundrum for ol' PETA, eh?

They're killing cows. Yeah, but their lives are so serene, man!
 
2004-01-15 05:01:55 PM
no cow tipping tonight then.
 
2004-01-15 05:02:38 PM
 
2004-01-15 05:04:00 PM
No problem, Mabel. Welcome to Milliways'. How did you do?
 
2004-01-15 05:04:18 PM
no cow tipping tonight then.

Not even the usual 15%? Cold!
 
2004-01-15 05:04:41 PM
SherKhan

"Calmer cattle = better steaks + crazy women = better lays "

HmmMMm dunno... I would say that my own anecdotal evidence suggests a link.

I propose a taste-test.
 
2004-01-15 05:05:04 PM
I chef once showed me his trick for tender lobster. He would take the lobsters and drop them in a vat of red wine. Of course, they would kick up a storm. But after a little while they would settle down. Just as they would drop off the edge of into la-la land, he would take them out and deposit them in the boiling water. No scream. Works good with crawdads as well. Or so I am told.


Your cow wants vino.
 
2004-01-15 05:05:24 PM
 
2004-01-15 05:06:24 PM
My dog wants steak. And so do I. Maybe even coffee-flavored steak. ...Mmm.
 
2004-01-15 05:06:32 PM
Your dog wants a tranquilizer gun.
 
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