Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   To help cut down on prostitution, gambling, and drug use, San Francisco police crack down on (a) the pimps, (b) the bookies, (c) the dealers, or (d) the guys playing chess   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 47
    More: Asinine, Market Street, San Francisco, Marvin Boykins, San Francisco Police Department, public nuisance, illegal gambling, checkmates  
•       •       •

4879 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2013 at 7:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-09-18 07:30:14 AM  
I played a cop once. He missed a threat and I checkmated him in three moves after that. Smiling, I said "Checkmate!"

He reached for his taser.
 
2013-09-18 07:30:22 AM  
So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).
 
2013-09-18 07:33:46 AM  
Chess = Terrorist activity.

/Yet, naked dancing juggalos perfectly legal on SF's streets.
 
2013-09-18 07:38:39 AM  

LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).


Tradition
 
2013-09-18 07:39:12 AM  
Quite a gambit.

/ma chere
 
2013-09-18 07:44:32 AM  
But the queens we use would NOT excite you.

/I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!
 
2013-09-18 07:46:20 AM  

LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).


Because Jesus
 
2013-09-18 07:47:21 AM  
0-0-0
 
2013-09-18 07:47:44 AM  

Lost Thought 00: Tradition


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-18 07:48:25 AM  
Isn't chess just a front for Putin's Russian Mafia?

By mafia I meant terrorists.
 
2013-09-18 07:50:05 AM  
These guys aren't dealers. They're just pawns in the game of life.
 
2013-09-18 07:58:21 AM  
CHESSwww.clker.comIS NOT ACRIME
 
2013-09-18 07:58:24 AM  

vudukungfu


These guys aren't dealers. They're just pawns in the game of life.


Maybe the police could send them candygrams.
 
2013-09-18 07:58:36 AM  

LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).


In Colorado, the people who spent years saying "legalize it and tax it" are now getting upset about the "tax it" part. That might give some legislators a reason to hesitate.

On the bright side, gay marriage and marijuana are finally enabling liberals to see the benefits of federalism and low taxes.
 
2013-09-18 08:00:41 AM  
Typical paid off higher ups...send in the lowland gorilla to protect their "interests".

effin' SF,  stroll mission or the stadium after 12 biatches.....fark da pigs......
 
2013-09-18 08:01:49 AM  

Lost Thought 00: LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).

Tradition


Family Values
Children
 
2013-09-18 08:05:51 AM  
For me, a millionaire playboy with a gambling itch, I love nothing more than to jet off to San Fran. I rent a Lambo and drive down to Market Street to bet on the chess players. The action is fast paced and you can win or lose millions in moments.

Last week, I was there and I was backing Stinky Pete. SP doesn't follow any of the standard chess strategies and that makes him a wild horse. Actually, Stinky talks to his pieces and gets their input. "Doth the hothie want to go forward sideways or sideways forward? Here?" His moves are unpredictable.

I bet 500k that he'd move "Little Queenie" (knight) but he moved one of his midget queenie (pawns) instead. So I doubled the bet that he would take and eat his opponent's rook. He chocked a bit but got it down. And suddenly, I'm back in the game.

The trick to winning is to know when players like Stinky Pete are on their meds or drinking or drinking while on their meds. That means the difference between betting on his playing to win or playing to eat the opponent's pieces. I mean, you can eat every pawn and the left half of your opponents field and he'll still win.

After a day of heavy betting and big winnings, I pick up half a dozen Bosnian Lesbian Escorts who read the Huffington Post to me as they pleasure each other while riding in my personal jet. Somewhere over Oklahoma, I strapped a parachute to their naked bods and push them one at a time out of the plane. So, if you happen to find a naked chick walking down a country road outside Cushing, you can thank me.
/nod to Spentmiles
 
2013-09-18 08:07:21 AM  
"I think maybe it's a disguise for some other things that are going on."  says Capt. Michael Redmond

Excellent idea, let's give mayhem some more idle hands to work with.
 
2013-09-18 08:12:28 AM  

vudukungfu: These guys aren't dealers. They're just pawns in the game of life.

<WhyNotBothGirl.jpg>


mortonandgeorge.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-18 08:12:32 AM  
www.expert-chess-strategies.com
 
2013-09-18 08:12:38 AM  
Well, I guess if I were trying to cut down on prostitution I would also start with the guys pushing queens in the park.
 
2013-09-18 08:15:24 AM  
Redmond said the players' property will eventually be released back to them and he hopes to help work out a plan for chess in the future - but that may involve convincing a business to pay for a permit so games can be played on the sidewalk.

The city can't have someone doing something on the street or sidewalks if they don't get their cut.  If there's no lucre to grab, shut it down.
 
2013-09-18 08:15:34 AM  
Sounds like lazy police work to me. "Oh a lot of drug dealers, hos, homeless, and users gather here to play chess. Rather than issue tickets and arrests for illegal activity, let's get rid of the legal activity they have gathered for!"
 
2013-09-18 08:21:46 AM  
But the answer is always C!
 
2013-09-18 08:29:57 AM  
FTFA:   the San Francisco Police Department confiscated the playing equipment, chairs and tables where dozens of people, mostly homeless, would gather every day to play between Fifth and Sixth streets

I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.
 
2013-09-18 08:33:34 AM  
www.allmotivated.com

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-18 08:37:09 AM  

WinoRhino: Well, I guess if I were trying to cut down on prostitution I would also start with the guys pushing queens in the park.


And those bishops that look like penises.
 
2013-09-18 08:37:39 AM  
FTA: ...but that may involve convincing a business to pay for a permit so games can be played on the sidewalk.

How exactly would that permit solve any of the made up problems you confiscated their chess boards over, Mr Piggly?
 
2013-09-18 08:42:51 AM  

GDubDub: I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.


Who the fark do they think they're fooling?

Our country needs to make some hard choices about the mentally ill. Yes, the old school state institutions had issues but at the very least the people who had no chance of being able to participate in society and care for themselves were looked after, fed, and medicated.

I have a friend who's adult daughter is schizophrenic and regularly goes off her meds. She can't hold a job and can't be left to care for herself. She needs lifelong, compulsory medication and either institutionalization or a halfway house. The alternative is to have her wandering the streets.
 
2013-09-18 08:52:06 AM  

Cheron: Lost Thought 00: LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).

Tradition

Family Values
Children


None of which are good nor acceptable reasons to keep these things illegal.

beautifull thing about kids traditions and values is that it's easy to keep them to yourself.
 
2013-09-18 09:33:17 AM  
I learned something one day. Never play chess in a bar with a guy that brings his own board.

Waiting on some friends to show up, and it hadn't gotten busy yet. Saw some guy playing with himself (heh.) and asked if I could join in (double heh.)

He beat my ass in short order. But either he was some kind of chess prodogy, or he was just really good but full of shiat. Because every time I would make a move he'd say shiat like this :

Me:*moves bishop to protect rook to prevent capture*
Him: Ahh! I see you are going with the Harrison Flanking Manuver! But I can only imagine you didn't think I counter with the Eidleburg Defense did you??
Me: Um okay. Moves knight.
Him: Hmmm. Bold strategy. Using a Reverse Lemur this early? I must give you credit. Too bad it doesn't help against the 30 Points of Light attack. *moves rook*
Me: uh.... *moves pawn*
Him: The Carlson Gambit! Wow! I haven't seen that since I played Charles "Chucky" Green in '86! *moves knight* but you had to know I'd counter with an Inverted Mockingbird Defense?
Me: Didn't think you would.
Him: They never do.
Me: Yeah....*moves Queen*
Him: Hmmm. Are you going for the Flying Dutchman or Pig In The Castle play?
Me: ....uh it would spoil it if I told you.
Him. Quite So!
Me: Moves bishop
Him: It *was* the Flying Dutchman! I thought it would be! That why I prepaired a Green Block attack!
Me: Should have seen it coming, I guess. (moves pawn)
Him: Ah hah! Divine Wind Cross Take Down! But it's too late for that!

He had thoroughly beaten me not long after that whilst spouting off play names the whole time and treating me like some grandmaster he was staying just one step ahead of the whole time.

I no longer play chess with people in bars.
 
2013-09-18 09:41:40 AM  

MythDragon: He had thoroughly beaten me not long after that whilst spouting off play names the whole time and treating me like some grandmaster he was staying just one step ahead of the whole time.


You should have played the mind game as well.

Him: It *was* the Flying Dutchman! I thought it would be! That why I prepaired a Green Block attack!
Me: I guess you're unaware of the Zawinski Gambiatcheckmate in seven, my friend.
 
2013-09-18 09:50:55 AM  
All they had to do was say to the cops, "I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine"
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-18 09:59:07 AM  

Monkeyhouse Zendo: MythDragon: He had thoroughly beaten me not long after that whilst spouting off play names the whole time and treating me like some grandmaster he was staying just one step ahead of the whole time.

You should have played the mind game as well.

Him: It *was* the Flying Dutchman! I thought it would be! That why I prepaired a Green Block attack!
Me: I guess you're unaware of the Zawinski Gambiatcheckmate in seven, my friend.


I have no idea if it was a mindgame, he really knew all that shiat, or he was just insane.
He kicked my ass in short order though.
I'm no master, but I'm decent.
(Got 2nd place in a junior highschool tournament. Won 6/7 games)
 
2013-09-18 10:05:06 AM  

Monkeyhouse Zendo: GDubDub: I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.

Who the fark do they think they're fooling?


No one, which is why the pretense is a little silly.
 
2013-09-18 11:33:58 AM  
When cops have nothing better to do than keep people from playing chess then there are too many cops.
 
2013-09-18 12:57:08 PM  

Monkeyhouse Zendo: GDubDub: I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.

Who the fark do they think they're fooling?

Our country needs to make some hard choices about the mentally ill. Yes, the old school state institutions had issues but at the very least the people who had no chance of being able to participate in society and care for themselves were looked after, fed, and medicated.

I have a friend who's adult daughter is schizophrenic and regularly goes off her meds. She can't hold a job and can't be left to care for herself. She needs lifelong, compulsory medication and either institutionalization or a halfway house. The alternative is to have her wandering the streets.


Thank Ronald Reagan (or, more accurately, his puppeteers).
 
2013-09-18 01:33:16 PM  

GDubDub: FTFA:   the San Francisco Police Department confiscated the playing equipment, chairs and tables where dozens of people, mostly homeless, would gather every day to play between Fifth and Sixth streets

I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.


So 1.5% of SF is homeless.  There ARE a lot of them.

/Rent is too damn high.
//Seriously, middle class around here starts at $100K if you're single + $50K per extra dependent
 
2013-09-18 01:54:23 PM  
If you could get a load of the loud mouthed foul assed homeless assholes who play chess at the main branch of my local public library you might think again about shutting down congregations of homeless folks playing chess.
 
2013-09-18 03:27:29 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: /Yet, naked dancing juggalos perfectly legal on SF's streets.


To be fair, the dancing juggalos are usually a bit further down Market. They tend to congregate outside the Church St. Safeway for some reason.
 
2013-09-18 03:45:34 PM  

Cybernetic: LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).

In Colorado, the people who spent years saying "legalize it and tax it" are now getting upset about the "tax it" part. That might give some legislators a reason to hesitate.

On the bright side, gay marriage and marijuana are finally enabling liberals to see the benefits of federalism and low taxes.


I don't think many were complaining about it being taxed, but rather about the disproportionately large tax rate being applied to it compared to, say, alcohol... I suspect most who were saying "tax it" expected a reasonable tax rate, not an outrageously gouging one... One can support the idea of taxes while still being upset when they're applied unevenly and unfairly to different products...

/But, still, be happy with it being legal even with the outrageous taxes!
//Plus, they can still grow their own small supply tax free, right?
 
2013-09-18 03:51:56 PM  

MrEricSir: DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: /Yet, naked dancing juggalos perfectly legal on SF's streets.

To be fair, the dancing juggalos are usually a bit further down Market. They tend to congregate outside the Church St. Safeway for some reason.


Along with the gutter punks gathering there. With the luxury condo development and Twitter moving into Mid-Market, it's pushing all the shiatbags directly to that Safeway.
 
2013-09-18 05:00:05 PM  
Redmond said the players' property will eventually be released back to them and he hopes to help work out a plan for chess in the future - but that may involve convincing a business to pay for a permit so games can be played on the sidewalk.

And there you have it.  The city wants money.  They recognize that the chess players aren't doing anything wrong, but they want money, so they confiscate everything, find someone who will pay up, then they give back the stuff they stole.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/extortion
 
2013-09-19 01:50:52 AM  

RobSeace: Cybernetic: LordJiro: So has anyone offered a reason why those things shouldn't be legalized? Legalizing them allows regulation, which would protect those that use those 'services' (and, at least in prostitution's case, it'd help protect the workers as well).

In Colorado, the people who spent years saying "legalize it and tax it" are now getting upset about the "tax it" part. That might give some legislators a reason to hesitate.

On the bright side, gay marriage and marijuana are finally enabling liberals to see the benefits of federalism and low taxes.

I don't think many were complaining about it being taxed, but rather about the disproportionately large tax rate being applied to it compared to, say, alcohol... I suspect most who were saying "tax it" expected a reasonable tax rate, not an outrageously gouging one... One can support the idea of taxes while still being upset when they're applied unevenly and unfairly to different products...

/But, still, be happy with it being legal even with the outrageous taxes!
//Plus, they can still grow their own small supply tax free, right?


I would expect taxes on weed to be similar to the relatively exorbitant taxes that are imposed on alcohol and tobacco, and for essentially the same reason--it's politically easy and potential lucrative for the state.
 
2013-09-19 01:53:35 AM  

mama2tnt: Monkeyhouse Zendo: GDubDub: I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.

Who the fark do they think they're fooling?

Our country needs to make some hard choices about the mentally ill. Yes, the old school state institutions had issues but at the very least the people who had no chance of being able to participate in society and care for themselves were looked after, fed, and medicated.

I have a friend who's adult daughter is schizophrenic and regularly goes off her meds. She can't hold a job and can't be left to care for herself. She needs lifelong, compulsory medication and either institutionalization or a halfway house. The alternative is to have her wandering the streets.

Thank Ronald Reagan (or, more accurately, his puppeteers).


You are utterly ignorant of the history of deinstitutionalization in this country. But you won't let that stop you from hating on Reagan.
 
2013-09-19 04:22:09 AM  

GDubDub: FTFA:   the San Francisco Police Department confiscated the playing equipment, chairs and tables where dozens of people, mostly homeless, would gather every day to play between Fifth and Sixth streets

I think I may have found the *real* reason for the crackdown.  Can't have the homeless congregating.  Someone might think their is a lot of them.


Have you been to SF? The homeless are everywhere and the police don't do anything when they shiat on the street in front of them.
 
2013-09-19 07:13:40 AM  

Cybernetic: I would expect taxes on weed to be similar to the relatively exorbitant taxes that are imposed on alcohol and tobacco, and for essentially the same reason--it's politically easy and potential lucrative for the state.


Yes, I think most people expected it to be similar to alcohol taxes, but that's the problem: they aren't similar to alcohol, but in fact are much, much higher...

Tobacco is a different beast, because there they use the modern insanely high tax rates to penalize users and discourage continued use... They're not just trying to generate revenue, but get everyone to quit! I think they'd be happy to lose all revenue from tobacco taxes if it meant no one smoked anymore...
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report