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(Daily Star)   Miley Cyrus claims she 'literally almost died' while bowling. Spare us   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 81
    More: Dumbass, Miley Cyrus, wrecking ball, foam fingers, near-death experiences, bowling balls  
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3178 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Sep 2013 at 5:57 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-17 03:56:45 PM
If the HVAC repair crew were on strike and there were noxious fumes in the building and they couldn't pin it down, that statement wouldn't make her look like a turkey.
 
2013-09-17 04:27:21 PM
That scenario doesn't even work in cartoons.
 
2013-09-17 04:30:57 PM
I read that as BLOWING.
 
2013-09-17 04:57:22 PM

vudukungfu: I read that as BLOWING.


Now that would have made the story better.  Also maybe add "a whole bowling alley" for added emphasis.
 
2013-09-17 05:06:56 PM
Ummm... 37.
 
2013-09-17 05:17:01 PM

vudukungfu: Ummm... 37.


hahaha
 
2013-09-17 05:55:00 PM
Stay out of the gutter

/as if...
 
2013-09-17 05:56:34 PM
www.popehat.com
 
2013-09-17 06:01:12 PM

vudukungfu: I read that as BLOWING.


Came here to say this! Hahaha
 
2013-09-17 06:02:51 PM
Better luck next time, bowling ball.
 
2013-09-17 06:08:43 PM
I literally don't care.
 
2013-09-17 06:11:30 PM
Geez what is with her increase in attention whoring lately.
 
2013-09-17 06:12:21 PM
Miley sez:

I did do a strike but it was with my own body
I did do a strike
I did do
 
2013-09-17 06:14:04 PM
Brush your tongue, biatch. That shiat is nasty.
 
2013-09-17 06:14:57 PM

vudukungfu: Ummm... 37.


in a row?!
 
2013-09-17 06:18:01 PM
Well to be fair, bowling can be a very dangerous game.

cynicritics.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-17 06:18:05 PM
I know she small and I know sometimes people don't release and faceplant but I am almost certain under normal conditions it is not physically possible to propel yourself all the way down the lane and "almost went through the pins" with any kind of bowling technique.
I guess I did see Fred Flintstone do it once and maybe E makes your arm crazy strong or something.
 
2013-09-17 06:22:33 PM
Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.
 
2013-09-17 06:31:06 PM
She's an idiot.  That is all.
 
2013-09-17 06:35:29 PM

katerbug72: Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.


She should really just put it back in her mouth. I don't get that - it's like a 12 year old girl's idea of what's sexy.
 
2013-09-17 06:38:43 PM

Snapper Carr: katerbug72: Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.

She should really just put it back in her mouth. I don't get that - it's like a 12 year old girl's idea of what's sexy.


Oddly enough, I think age 12 is when her daddy started telling her she was sexy
 
2013-09-17 06:41:31 PM

Snapper Carr: katerbug72: Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.

She should really just put it back in her mouth. I don't get that - it's like a 12 year old girl's idea of what's sexy.


Her target audience was and is 12-year-old girls. Now she's trying to convince her audience that she's sexy. The unmistakable implication is that she's a lesbian pedophile.
 
2013-09-17 06:44:14 PM
If you want to see Liam Hemsworth's new hottie, gis Eiza Gonzalez.
Gee Miley, didn't you think your boyfriend would get upset seeing you grinding your ass into some older fellows crotch on national TV?
Liam has since upgraded.
/truly
 
2013-09-17 06:44:53 PM

overheard in mayfair: Snapper Carr: katerbug72: Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.

She should really just put it back in her mouth. I don't get that - it's like a 12 year old girl's idea of what's sexy.

Her target audience was and is 12-year-old girls. Now she's trying to convince her audience that she's sexy. The unmistakable implication is that she's a lesbian pedophile.


she does look the part
 
2013-09-17 06:55:16 PM
Does a picture of her exist without her tongue hanging out?
 
2013-09-17 06:55:16 PM
2 Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. 3 Thou lovest evil more than good; and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Selah. 4 Thou lovest all devouring words, O thou deceitful tongue. 5 God shall likewise destroy thee for ever, he shall take thee away , and pluck thee out of thy dwelling place, and root thee out of thy bowling alley. Selah. 6 The righteous also shall see , and fear , and shall laugh at her: 7Brush your tongue, biatch. That shiat is nasty.
Psalm 52:2-9 FETV
 
2013-09-17 06:56:20 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Snapper Carr: katerbug72: Miley, honey, you look thirsty. Take a drink, your tongue looks like a cat's.

She should really just put it back in her mouth. I don't get that - it's like a 12 year old girl's idea of what's sexy.

Oddly enough, I think age 12 is when her daddy started telling her she was sexy


Zing! Would laugh again.
 
2013-09-17 06:59:25 PM
lots off studmans here,
I would blur her line if you catch my drift, and I think you know which line I am talking about and I think you know what I would use to blur it.
 
2013-09-17 07:02:21 PM
 
2013-09-17 07:06:23 PM
If subby wanted to "spare us," then why did he post the link to begin with?
 
2013-09-17 07:07:44 PM
So...why did this make Fark? So we can find out which of us are the cattiest biatches?
 
2013-09-17 07:19:55 PM

freak7: Does a picture of her exist without her tongue hanging out?


upload.wikimedia.org

RoyHobbs22: lots off studmans here,
I would blur her line if you catch my drift, and I think you know which line I am talking about and I think you know what I would use to blur it.


...when she looked like the picture above, hell yes, I would..

.. but are you saying you find this attractive?? ... :

images.huffingtonpost.com

FFS - Madonna is hotter, and she's at least 30 years older.
 
2013-09-17 07:20:58 PM

RoyHobbs22: lots off studmans here,
I would blur her line if you catch my drift, and I think you know which line I am talking about and I think you know what I would use to blur it.


The blur tool?
 
2013-09-17 07:21:08 PM
Whats wrong with her tongue, seriously, does she have some condition? Weakness of the frenum or something where it wont stay in her mouth? Poor girl...
 
2013-09-17 07:28:50 PM
I seriously do not want to know where she tries to put bowling balls
 
2013-09-17 07:30:04 PM

SirTanon: but are you saying you find this attractive??


She's not a fatty, that's worth a fark or two.
 
2013-09-17 07:41:58 PM
s.mcstatic.com
Could see it happening.
 
2013-09-17 07:43:02 PM

tmcottle: I seriously do not want to know where she tries to put bowling balls


i255.photobucket.com
No really. She almost died.
 
2013-09-17 07:43:51 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Stay out of the gutter

/as if...


farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-09-17 07:44:37 PM
I read that as nearly died while blowing.
Figures.
 
2013-09-17 07:45:18 PM

SirTanon: freak7: Does a picture of her exist without her tongue hanging out?

[upload.wikimedia.org image 393x491]

RoyHobbs22: lots off studmans here,
I would blur her line if you catch my drift, and I think you know which line I am talking about and I think you know what I would use to blur it.

...when she looked like the picture above, hell yes, I would..

.. but are you saying you find this attractive?? ... :

[images.huffingtonpost.com image 600x450]

FFS - Madonna is hotter, and she's at least 30 years older.


I would kindly ask for her to peel off the rubber outfit and get herself deloused, she can go nuts on me with the tongue though.
 
2013-09-17 07:46:30 PM

scotchcrotch: Geez what is with her increase in attention whoring lately.


When you have limited* talent and are no longer cute enough to be a prepackaged Disney star, AWing is all you have left on which to build a career.

*yes she does have a bit of talent, but no more than the top three kids in the music department of any high school in the country. That plus a cute face and a famous daddy are enough for a Disney gig, but not enough for an adult career. Unless we're talking an "Adult" career, which is where I think she's headed.
 
2013-09-17 07:50:34 PM
I want to carve her farking tongue out of her face and pan fry it.
 
2013-09-17 07:51:10 PM

RoyHobbs22: lots off studmans here,
I would blur her line if you catch my drift, and I think you know which line I am talking about and I think you know what I would use to blur it.


The same thing Billy Ray uses?
 
2013-09-17 07:51:13 PM

RoyHobbs22: she can go nuts on me with the tongue though.


Ewwww... Have you looked closely at that tongue? She's got a yeast infection of the mouth. Or gonorrhea.
 
2013-09-17 07:54:59 PM
namegoeshere:When you have limited* talent and are no longer cute enough to be a prepackaged Disney star, AWing is all you have left on which to build a career.

*yes she does have a bit of talent, but no more than the top three kids in the music department of any high school in the country. That plus a cute face and a famous daddy are enough for a Disney gig, but not enough for an adult career. Unless we're talking an "Adult" career, which is where I think she's headed.


I've always asked myself this: Don't these celebrities realize when to call it quits?  When your 15 minutes are up, retire with subtlety and grace.

Sure, there are quite a few level-headed ones to contrast these morons, but surely she isn't under the impression that she has anything of value to offer the world which warrants her continued efforts? Can the continued acquisition of money possibly be enough of a motivator for these idiots (surely there's a point where you realize you have enough)? Do they truly buy their own circus enough to consider themselves relevant?

The problem is, they continue, and here we are talking about them ensuring their success.
 
2013-09-17 08:03:28 PM
Maybe she's more of an Oxford kind of gal than anyone gives her credit for being.

/literally
//DNRTFA
 
2013-09-17 08:03:38 PM
Is it ever going to be considered cliche for someone to do something provocative at an awards show?

It's so formulaic and predictable to us, I can't imagine what her colleagues must think.
 
2013-09-17 08:04:27 PM
I wouldn't penetrate any of Miley's orifices with a 50 foot pole.  But I imagine you could bowl in some of them.
 
2013-09-17 08:26:38 PM
...eating those crackers like she owns the place
 
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