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(CNN)   Seven popular scams that steakhouses use to fool you into spending money. Your dog wants aged beef kidney suet   (eatocracy.cnn.com) divider line 239
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27378 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2013 at 1:09 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-17 01:34:29 PM
Screw it.  A couple of Cutty and Cokes to start, and it's all good.
 
2013-09-17 01:34:38 PM
That's why I prefer to cook/grill my own. As long as the cut of meat comes from urban range cows, I'm good to go!
/especially the ones raised on a rooftop ranch
//not from a skyscraper rooftop as those usually have to much 'windburn'
 
2013-09-17 01:35:14 PM

hubiestubert: wee: hubiestubert: Because I have a lot more practice at it

And I made myself a sous vide machine.  I can get a steak with a perfect crust while also having almost zero transition zone between that crust and the perfectly medium-rare exactly 128 degree interior. It's straight-up cheating.  The only trick is finding good beef.  And since the wife knows a local rancher who can get us meat from a cow that was never fed corn (and then drugs to digest that corn), it's really no trick at all.

I know it sounds like bravado, and I don't mean to impugn your profession or skills, but I can't get a restaurant steak better than I can make at home, unless I go to one of those places that has vats of constantly-reducing beef stock and a dry-aging room and the like.  But like Ruth's Chris or whatever?  No comparison whatsoever.

Oddly enough, I've used sous verde, and I pretty much despise them. Too much time, too much space, and the cook time is a pain in the tochis.

You feel good with your skills, then drive on. I only have 25 years of professional experience to fall back upon for preparation, only a several hundred steaks and other cuts a week, and a merciless public craving both novel and classical preparations to satisfy. And all the while having to concentrate on not just beef, lamb, pork, chicken, sauces, vegetables, salad, pairings for beer, wine and more. Nope. There is no way that I could ever satisfy a gourmand like yourself...

In the meantime, I guess I can continue to be paid for my shameful waste of time...


Dude, this is Fark.  That's pretty much the mission statement for this place.
 
2013-09-17 01:36:43 PM
Pittsburgh rare strip steaks are glorious.
 
2013-09-17 01:36:45 PM

green4mice: That's why I prefer to cook/grill my own. As long as the cut of meat comes from urban range cows, I'm good to go!
/especially the ones raised on a rooftop ranch
//not from a skyscraper rooftop as those usually have to much 'windburn'


+1
 
2013-09-17 01:36:59 PM

born_yesterday: Girl Sailor: Top notch steakhouses often have very high output broilers, ceramic things that can put out 1600 degrees.

Alton Brown had a segment specifically on how to get around this using hardwood coals and a chimney starter to cook a porterhouse steak.  I haven't tried it yet, but it seemed legit, and too simple not to give it a shot.


I haven't seen Alton's version but we did what you describe to sear tuna. We called it the afterburner.
 
2013-09-17 01:38:20 PM

revrendjim: sigdiamond2000: #1: Making you think they can cook a better steak than you can.

No, they can get better steaks than you can. They have first pick of the best USDA Prime cuts, and you and I can't buy those (unless you know someone).


I have a butcher shop close to me that only sells organic grass fed free roam and 'all that other bullshiat' type of meats.  They actually buy the animals alive from local farmers and do all the butchering themselves.  You can get really, and i mean really farking good cuts from them.  I usually don't buy in to that organic hippy bullshiat when it comes to food, but holy hell those steaks are good.  Everything is very expensive there tho, 8-25 bucks a pound depending on what you get.  For superbowl I got a dry aged rib eye from them, and they cut it right off the half rack of cow ribs sitting in the display.  It was 34 ounces, beautifully marbled, and amazingly good.
 
2013-09-17 01:41:44 PM

Wellon Dowd: 8. Getting you to fill up on the complimentary bread.

[i.imgur.com image 600x449]


This is especially true at "all you can eat crab leg" type affairs.
 
2013-09-17 01:42:35 PM
There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.
 
2013-09-17 01:42:45 PM

green4mice: That's why I prefer to cook/grill my own. As long as the cut of meat comes from urban range cows, I'm good to go!
/especially the ones raised on a rooftop ranch
//not from a skyscraper rooftop as those usually have to much 'windburn'

 
2013-09-17 01:43:45 PM
Sides.

If I'm the only one who wants shoestring fries, why should I have to order (and pay for) enough to feed the entire table?
 
2013-09-17 01:44:03 PM
It never ceases to amaze me how every farker somehow manages to be a foremost expert in every field while still having plenty of time to talk about how they are a foremost expert in every field on Fark for hours on end.
 
2013-09-17 01:44:19 PM

McGrits: born_yesterday: Girl Sailor: Top notch steakhouses often have very high output broilers, ceramic things that can put out 1600 degrees.

Alton Brown had a segment specifically on how to get around this using hardwood coals and a chimney starter to cook a porterhouse steak.  I haven't tried it yet, but it seemed legit, and too simple not to give it a shot.

I haven't seen Alton's version but we did what you describe to sear tuna. We called it the afterburner.


I saw that episode, thought that I really should try that. So it works pretty well? I have to do it. Too bad the Mrs. considers anything below medium to be raw. I've worn her down though - years ago she would get ill if I presented meat that was recognizable as meat and not the charcoal that cooked it.
 
2013-09-17 01:44:31 PM

PanicMan: cookiefleck: I love the jabs at Peter Luger' s...

Which surprised me.  I've heard really good things about that place, and I was thinking of checking it out next time I'm in NY.


You should go.  They use suet (lard leaf) with butter to drizzle on the steaks.  Whatever this guy says, they're outstanding.  The bacon thing is a ripoff, but to my knowledge no one has ever ordered the bacon at Peter Luger.  You get the tomato and onion with steak sauce appetizer and the steak.  Maybe a side or two if you're extra hungry.
 
2013-09-17 01:44:39 PM
I don't have to worry about any of this as I am a vegetarian and am healthier than you are.
 
2013-09-17 01:45:40 PM

chrisco123: I don't have to worry about any of this as I am a vegetarian and am healthier than you are.


8/10 - should have gone with 'vegan'.
 
2013-09-17 01:46:37 PM

Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.


Seriously. I almost never eat beef steak (usually eating deer), but when I do, know where I get it?

OUTBACK! The OUTBACK SPECIAL! Cooked RARE! And I find it DELICIOUS!

THA HORRORZ!
 
2013-09-17 01:48:12 PM
A couple of my tenants run cattle on the big corners or non-farmable areas of land. Sometimes I get lucky and get an entire cow full of 'unlabeled' usda prime. Usually, though, it is 'just way better than you can buy at the store' grade... which is good, but I'm not fooling myself into imagining it into prime beef. I hate buying beef at the grocery store and usually stick to the custom cutters when/if I buy it. My local guy does an awesome job with dry-aging and I'll have him do a 22-28 day age on the best loins when I have whole beeves or sides done in his shop.

Most of my hamburger comes from the grocery store, but with a kind of a twist. Many grocery stores around here put their cheapo steak cuts like select sirloin or ribeye on sale for at or less than the cost of decent hamburger meat. Most of the stores will custom grind hamburger over 10 pounds for free. So... I'll ask the meat market guy if he has any uncut sirloins or ribeyes in the back, have him weight it out at the sale price (and sometimes get a little additional price break since it isn't cut), and he pitches it in the grinder. Ground sirloin/ribeye for the same or less cost than the pre-packaged scrap meat hamburger.
 
2013-09-17 01:48:37 PM

2KanZam: wee: hubiestubert: Because I have a lot more practice at it

And I made myself a sous vide machine.  I can get a steak with a perfect crust while also having almost zero transition zone between that crust and the perfectly medium-rare exactly 128 degree interior. It's straight-up cheating.


A crust w/ sous vide? bullshiat....unless you somehow created a machine that can superheat water to 400 deg F?  I assume you are searing your boiled steak?  I'll take a cast iron cooked steak anyday.

/I ran a steakhouse kitchen and was on the grill for years...
//I will not buy steak @ a restaurant.


No dumbass.  Sous vide brings it to the exact internal temp. Searing the crust happens on a very high heat grill for just a minute or two.  If you ran a kitchen you should have been able to figure that out so I assume you didn't.
 
2013-09-17 01:49:04 PM

Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.


+1.  Never met a steak I didn't like.  Some are better than others, sure, but they're always pretty good.

Same goes for coffee and beer.
 
2013-09-17 01:49:52 PM
firedaily.com
 
2013-09-17 01:50:53 PM
I was going to ask hubie about transglutaminase not being on that list, and what his opinion and/or experience with kitchens using it was, but I think I'll wait until the flames die down a bit...
 
2013-09-17 01:51:07 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Well, that escalated quickly.

We get it - you're an arteest, and the rest of us who lack the appreciation necessary for bagged salad with boiled eggs on top, toast with beans, or roast beast a la heat lamp can go back to our gruel. Which in my case last night, consisted of olive oil poached prawns (from my homemade sous vide rig), leg of lamb with a yogurt and thyme crust (recipe from a Greek grandma), roasted tri-color fingerling potatoes with herbs, locally sourced rustic greens, and flourless chocolate cake with black pepper.

I guess the fact that I didn't cook it for several hundred covers makes it pretty-much inedible, though. I'll let my dinner guests know.

But seriously - I know it takes alot of talent, hard work and discipline to make not only good but also consistent food, time and again, hundreds of times a night. Not everyone can do it, and even fewer can do it well. But don't pretend no one else can cook a steak, that's just pretentious.


This, people, is how you troll. After all that tripe, he accuses the other guy of being pretentious. I broke out laughing.
 
2013-09-17 01:54:54 PM

Uranus Is Huge!: chrisco123: I don't have to worry about any of this as I am a vegetarian and am healthier than you are.

8/10 - should have gone with 'vegan'.


I thought the article was interesting, plus the discussion between the two steak masters was surreal.

/vegan
//don't worry, we'll let you know
 
2013-09-17 01:56:07 PM
I, for one, happen to like the Costco NY strip.  Picking up another three pack tomorrow.
 
2013-09-17 01:57:01 PM
Yeah, well, can you bring me some ketchup. Mmm. Mmm. Nothin' sets off the flavor of a steak like some ketchup.

Well done.
 
2013-09-17 01:57:13 PM

nosferatublue: Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.

Seriously. I almost never eat beef steak (usually eating deer), but when I do, know where I get it?

OUTBACK! The OUTBACK SPECIAL! Cooked RARE! And I find it DELICIOUS!

THA HORRORZ!


Is it me or are the steaks at those chains (Outback, Applebee's, TGIF, Ruby Tuesday's, etc.) mediocre at best?  Not trying to be a snob, but I can grill a better steak than those chain places and at a cheaper price to boot.
 
2013-09-17 01:59:56 PM

blatz514: groppet: My friends know some meat people. So when I go visit my folks they always load me up with whatever they have overflowing from the freezer. I get to see them this weekend hmmmmmm.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]


awesome and gross
 
2013-09-17 02:02:34 PM

PsyLord: nosferatublue: Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.

Seriously. I almost never eat beef steak (usually eating deer), but when I do, know where I get it?

OUTBACK! The OUTBACK SPECIAL! Cooked RARE! And I find it DELICIOUS!

THA HORRORZ!

Is it me or are the steaks at those chains (Outback, Applebee's, TGIF, Ruby Tuesday's, etc.) mediocre at best?  Not trying to be a snob, but I can grill a better steak than those chain places and at a cheaper price to boot.


Quite possibly.

I can't speak for the rest of us, but when Mrs. Blue and I are going out the primary objective is to get away from home/domesticity/kids for a few hours. So there's that.
 
2013-09-17 02:03:11 PM

2KanZam: A crust w/ sous vide? bullshiat....unless you somehow created a machine that can superheat water to 400 deg F? I assume you are searing your boiled steak? I'll take a cast iron cooked steak anyday.


I thought that was hwo it was done.

I am tempted to try the trick where you sear it, then seal it in a bag, and put it in a big cooler that has been filled with water at 140 deg fro 45 minutes (may be off on temp and time, I am qutoing from memory) just to see hwo it is.
 
2013-09-17 02:05:34 PM

hubiestubert: wee: hubiestubert: Because I have a lot more practice at it

And I made myself a sous vide machine.  I can get a steak with a perfect crust while also having almost zero transition zone between that crust and the perfectly medium-rare exactly 128 degree interior. It's straight-up cheating.  The only trick is finding good beef.  And since the wife knows a local rancher who can get us meat from a cow that was never fed corn (and then drugs to digest that corn), it's really no trick at all.

I know it sounds like bravado, and I don't mean to impugn your profession or skills, but I can't get a restaurant steak better than I can make at home, unless I go to one of those places that has vats of constantly-reducing beef stock and a dry-aging room and the like.  But like Ruth's Chris or whatever?  No comparison whatsoever.

Oddly enough, I've used sous verde, and I pretty much despise them. Too much time, too much space, and the cook time is a pain in the tochis.

You feel good with your skills, then drive on. I only have 25 years of professional experience to fall back upon for preparation, only a several hundred steaks and other cuts a week, and a merciless public craving both novel and classical preparations to satisfy. And all the while having to concentrate on not just beef, lamb, pork, chicken, sauces, vegetables, salad, pairings for beer, wine and more. Nope. There is no way that I could ever satisfy a gourmand like yourself...

In the meantime, I guess I can continue to be paid for my shameful waste of time...


I see what you did there!
 
2013-09-17 02:09:32 PM
Cook?  You actually cook your steak?  All you need to do is knock it's horns off, wipe it's nasty ass and plop it down on the plate.
 
2013-09-17 02:10:40 PM

HaywoodJablonski: List fails without $12 wedge salad


That is soooo 2002.
I think the wedge salad fad has come and gone.  Thankfully.
 
2013-09-17 02:11:49 PM
Eh. Theres a place in McLean called The Organic Butcher. It may not be USDA Prime, but I got a solid ribeye and NY strip. Seared in good butter on cast iron and finished in the oven at 500 degrees for a few minutes, topped with compound butter, I was happy and so was my bf. I added in a *gasp* cheap Malbec and put duck fat roasted potatoes on the side. No complaints.
 
2013-09-17 02:12:12 PM

PsyLord: nosferatublue: Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.

Seriously. I almost never eat beef steak (usually eating deer), but when I do, know where I get it?

OUTBACK! The OUTBACK SPECIAL! Cooked RARE! And I find it DELICIOUS!

THA HORRORZ!

Is it me or are the steaks at those chains (Outback, Applebee's, TGIF, Ruby Tuesday's, etc.) mediocre at best?  Not trying to be a snob, but I can grill a better steak than those chain places and at a cheaper price to boot.


What exactly are you expecting? A chain provides a decent and consistent meal usually at a reasonable price. If you want gourmet go to a gourmet place. And yeah most people can do similar things if not better at home. You still have to shop for it and then make it. A lot of people do not like to cook and good enough is good enough. Hell I was in NY earlier this year and we went to this local sandwich shop. It had a decent amount of people in it and we thought we'd give it a try. Worst sandwich I've ever had. Neither of us could finish it because it was so bad. Seriously I'll eat damn near anything and it was that bad. So we went to a McDonald next door. Yeah yeah we should have just gone to another "local" place but at that point we just wanted something that we knew would be ok. Chains have their place and so does everything else.
 
2013-09-17 02:13:47 PM
www.thevioletroom.co.uk

SUET! SUET! SUET!
 
2013-09-17 02:14:16 PM
nosferatublue:

I can't speak for the rest of us, but when Mrs. Blue and I are going out the primary objective is to get away from home/domesticity/kids for a few hours. So there's that.

True dat.  I can make a steak every bit as good as the best steakhouse in NYC (I don't claim that of other kinds of restaurants -- it's just that it's so simple to make a great steak).  I can even make sides almost as good now that I've discovered duck fat.  What I can't do is make separate appetizers for everyone at the table, spend a million dollars or more on the room in which I serve all that stuff and arrange for someone to bring and take away all the dishes.  Also, breads, pastries and desserts.  I suck at breads, pastries and desserts.
 
2013-09-17 02:14:18 PM

Sliding Carp: Screw it.  A couple of Cutty and Cokes to start, and it's all good.


Hork
 
2013-09-17 02:14:35 PM

liam76: 2KanZam: A crust w/ sous vide? bullshiat....unless you somehow created a machine that can superheat water to 400 deg F? I assume you are searing your boiled steak? I'll take a cast iron cooked steak anyday.

I thought that was hwo it was done.

I am tempted to try the trick where you sear it, then seal it in a bag, and put it in a big cooler that has been filled with water at 140 deg fro 45 minutes (may be off on temp and time, I am qutoing from memory) just to see hwo it is.


That is how it's done.  He seems to be saying he gets a crust on his steak from his sous vide machine...he does not.
 
2013-09-17 02:15:21 PM

Manfred J. Hattan: PanicMan: cookiefleck: I love the jabs at Peter Luger' s...

Which surprised me.  I've heard really good things about that place, and I was thinking of checking it out next time I'm in NY.

You should go.  They use suet (lard leaf) with butter to drizzle on the steaks.  Whatever this guy says, they're outstanding.  The bacon thing is a ripoff, but to my knowledge no one has ever ordered the bacon at Peter Luger.  You get the tomato and onion with steak sauce appetizer and the steak.  Maybe a side or two if you're extra hungry.


Cool, thanks.  Faith in humanity: restored.
 
2013-09-17 02:15:27 PM

wax_on: 2KanZam: wee: hubiestubert: Because I have a lot more practice at it

And I made myself a sous vide machine.  I can get a steak with a perfect crust while also having almost zero transition zone between that crust and the perfectly medium-rare exactly 128 degree interior. It's straight-up cheating.


A crust w/ sous vide? bullshiat....unless you somehow created a machine that can superheat water to 400 deg F?  I assume you are searing your boiled steak?  I'll take a cast iron cooked steak anyday.

/I ran a steakhouse kitchen and was on the grill for years...
//I will not buy steak @ a restaurant.

No dumbass.  Sous vide brings it to the exact internal temp. Searing the crust happens on a very high heat grill for just a minute or two.  If you ran a kitchen you should have been able to figure that out so I assume you didn't.


Um...I think you are mistaken on who to call the dumbass.  He seems to be saying that he gets a crust from his sous vide machine.  Dumbass.
 
2013-09-17 02:15:49 PM

Manfred J. Hattan: nosferatublue:

I can't speak for the rest of us, but when Mrs. Blue and I are going out the primary objective is to get away from home/domesticity/kids for a few hours. So there's that.

True dat.  I can make a steak every bit as good as the best steakhouse in NYC (I don't claim that of other kinds of restaurants -- it's just that it's so simple to make a great steak).  I can even make sides almost as good now that I've discovered duck fat.  What I can't do is make separate appetizers for everyone at the table, spend a million dollars or more on the room in which I serve all that stuff and arrange for someone to bring and take away all the dishes.  Also, breads, pastries and desserts.  I suck at breads, pastries and desserts.


If you have a stand mixer, SimplyRecipes has a crazy easy chocolate bourbon bundt cake. Its pretty foolproof.
 
2013-09-17 02:17:25 PM

nosferatublue: Pharmdawg: There's too much snobbery here. It's meat off a cow's arse. It's good, eat it.

Seriously. I almost never eat beef steak (usually eating deer), but when I do, know where I get it?

OUTBACK! The OUTBACK SPECIAL! Cooked RARE! And I find it DELICIOUS!

THA HORRORZ!


Man, they advertised "Australian" food!  I took an Australian friend of mine there and he said it wasn't anything like what he ate in Australia. I demanded my money back, of course.
 
2013-09-17 02:17:45 PM
I'm not a chef by no means but how hard is it to prepare a rare steak? It doesn't matter chain or local no one ever does it correct.
 
2013-09-17 02:19:29 PM

CruJones: And as for chains, Ruth's Chris is actually good and consistent.


i went to one in pasadena a couple of years back, and it was pretty 'meh.' first of all, they served omaha steaks, which are generally mediocre to begin with. second of all, an 8oz filet, a side of asparagus and a glass of cabernet (nothing fancy - a rodney strong, as i recall) came to around $100. if i hadn't been on an expense account, i would have complained.

the only chain steak that i've really enjoyed was one from fleming's.
 
2013-09-17 02:20:17 PM

Mid_mo_mad_man: I'm not a chef by no means but how hard is it to prepare a rare steak? It doesn't matter chain or local no one ever does it correct.


Getting truly rare with a good sear can be a little challenging, but not very. But I also only cook as a hobby, not professionally. I would expect more from a steakhouse.
 
2013-09-17 02:21:57 PM

Mid_mo_mad_man: I'm not a chef by no means but how hard is it to prepare a rare steak? It doesn't matter chain or local no one ever does it correct.


I think most places are too scared to serve at such a low internal temp.
 
2013-09-17 02:22:21 PM

revrendjim: No, they can get better steaks than you can. They have first pick of the best USDA Prime cuts, and you and I can't buy those (unless you know someone).


28 day dry aged waygu and it's still half the price of a prime steak at a steakhouse.
http://fairwaypacking.com/

Now you know someone
 
2013-09-17 02:25:08 PM

hubiestubert: wee: hubiestubert: Because I have a lot more practice at it

And I made myself a sous vide machine.  I can get a steak with a perfect crust while also having almost zero transition zone between that crust and the perfectly medium-rare exactly 128 degree interior. It's straight-up cheating.  The only trick is finding good beef.  And since the wife knows a local rancher who can get us meat from a cow that was never fed corn (and then drugs to digest that corn), it's really no trick at all.

I know it sounds like bravado, and I don't mean to impugn your profession or skills, but I can't get a restaurant steak better than I can make at home, unless I go to one of those places that has vats of constantly-reducing beef stock and a dry-aging room and the like.  But like Ruth's Chris or whatever?  No comparison whatsoever.

Oddly enough, I've used sous verde, and I pretty much despise them. Too much time, too much space, and the cook time is a pain in the tochis.

You feel good with your skills, then drive on. I only have 25 years of professional experience to fall back upon for preparation, only a several hundred steaks and other cuts a week, and a merciless public craving both novel and classical preparations to satisfy. And all the while having to concentrate on not just beef, lamb, pork, chicken, sauces, vegetables, salad, pairings for beer, wine and more. Nope. There is no way that I could ever satisfy a gourmand like yourself...

In the meantime, I guess I can continue to be paid for my shameful waste of time...


LIghten up, Francis. I will certainly stipulate that you can grill a steak better than I can, and certainly you can cook 50 steaks a night with complete consistency. I'm sure you serve fantastic meals.

As for the cooking time for sous vide, that's a plus for me: season up a steak or two, into ziploc bags, and into the mini ice chest charged with hot tap water checked with an instant read thermometer and tucked out of the way, to be checked and recharged just once, in a half hour or so. Now I have all the time in the world to put together the rest of the meal, chat, keep an eye on the game or movie, make drinks, etc without being shackled to the grill for fear of the main dish turning into a workboot.

When all's ready, three minutes in a red-hot pan puts on a lovely sear while everything else is plating.

Dump and rinse the cooler and it stows in a cupboard til next time.
 
2013-09-17 02:26:15 PM

Space Station Wagon: revrendjim: No, they can get better steaks than you can. They have first pick of the best USDA Prime cuts, and you and I can't buy those (unless you know someone).

28 day dry aged waygu and it's still half the price of a prime steak at a steakhouse.
http://fairwaypacking.com/

Now you know someone


Ordering meat over the internet makes me a bit nervous, have you had them before?
 
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