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(ESPN)   Juan Pablo Montoya proves yet again that open wheel racers aren't good enough to race in NASCAR. Goes back to the parades though city streets   (espn.go.com) divider line 55
    More: Obvious, Juan Pablo Montoya, Roger Penske, Pablo Montoya, NASCAR, Chip Ganassi, Michael Andretti, open-wheel, Helio Castroneves  
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1522 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Sep 2013 at 7:18 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-17 07:18:47 AM
Darn those tricky pushrod v8's and 4bbl carbs for being so tricky!!!!

Meh, he had mid rate teams, he is brown, and his english is better than half the fans...

He was never gonna be embraced.
 
2013-09-17 07:31:10 AM
Hello! My name is Juan Pablo Montoya, something something...
 
2013-09-17 07:37:44 AM
AJ Foyt and Mario Andretti want a word with subby
 
2013-09-17 07:42:59 AM

WhyteRaven74: AJ Foyt and Mario Andretti want a word with subby


Smoke says Excuse Me?
 
2013-09-17 07:48:26 AM
Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.
 
2013-09-17 08:05:31 AM
Tim Richmond seen spinning in his grave. Ken Schrader seen 7 laps down
 
2013-09-17 08:18:28 AM
Trolltastic headline, Subby.
 
2013-09-17 08:59:32 AM
It seems that any time I watched an asscar race, it was a road course (oval=boring), and invariably, someone would punt him and whoever did was able to do so with impunity.  But, enjoy your "racing" series.
 
2013-09-17 09:01:06 AM
I'd like to add Jeff Gordon and numerous other drivers raced sprint and midget cars growing up. Those are open wheel.
 
2013-09-17 09:02:08 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.


He does No-sell track dryers well
 
2013-09-17 09:20:18 AM
Yeah, F1 racers tend to like knowing the rules for winning the WDC are the same all the way through the season.

And when someone wrecks intentionally to manipulate the results, they never get work in the sport again.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-17 09:23:11 AM
Good, finally a reason for me to watch more than 5 minutes of an IndyCar race.
 
2013-09-17 09:27:56 AM
Helio, Power, and JPM on the same team?

I sense we will all be entertained multiple times next season.
 
2013-09-17 09:29:52 AM
NASCAR worked all the wrong angles with him.  He should have been cast as a snooty European and done things like burnouts on the American flag and hitting Junior from behind with a chair.  They could have at least made him a hardworking and friendly Mexican sidekick.

NASCAR is stuck the same boring plot lines.  It's always  "Bodell Jenks Jr. gets mouthy with the Pecker Brothers after the race".  It would be more exciting if any of them were over 5'7".
 
2013-09-17 09:30:38 AM

UNC_Samurai: And when someone wrecks intentionally to manipulate the results, they never get work in the sport again.


You make me feel old...
 
2013-09-17 09:43:04 AM

TheManofPA: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.

He does No-sell track dryers well


Cleaning Diet Coke spew off the monitor.  Bravo!
 
2013-09-17 09:44:51 AM

UNC_Samurai: Yeah, F1 racers tend to like knowing the rules for winning the WDC are the same all the way through the season.

And when someone wrecks intentionally to manipulate the results, they never get work in the sport again.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x239]


In that case, NASCAR is perfect for Piquet Jr.
 
2013-09-17 09:48:21 AM

baka-san: UNC_Samurai: And when someone wrecks intentionally to manipulate the results, they never get work in the sport again.

You make me feel old...


That was 2008.  If I really wanted to make you feel old, I'd do this:

i.imgur.com

/I'm sitting not quite halfway between Kimi and Jenson
 
2013-09-17 09:57:58 AM

UNC_Samurai: baka-san: UNC_Samurai: And when someone wrecks intentionally to manipulate the results, they never get work in the sport again.

You make me feel old...

That was 2008.  If I really wanted to make you feel old, I'd do this:

[i.imgur.com image 712x739]

/I'm sitting not quite halfway between Kimi and Jenson


Hey, I'm younger than Webber, woo!

/sigh
 
2013-09-17 10:06:17 AM

Rapmaster2000: NASCAR worked all the wrong angles with him.  He should have been cast as a snooty European and done things like burnouts on the American flag and hitting Junior from behind with a chair.  They could have at least made him a hardworking and friendly Mexican sidekick.

NASCAR is stuck the same boring plot lines.  It's always  "Bodell Jenks Jr. gets mouthy with the Pecker Brothers after the race".  It would be more exciting if any of them were over 5'7".


will ferrell is that you?
 
2013-09-17 10:06:51 AM

Rapmaster2000: NASCAR worked all the wrong angles with him.  He should have been cast as a snooty European and done things like burnouts on the American flag and hitting Junior from behind with a chair.  They could have at least made him a hardworking and friendly Mexican sidekick.

NASCAR is stuck the same boring plot lines.  It's always  "Bodell Jenks Jr. gets mouthy with the Pecker Brothers after the race".  It would be more exciting if any of them were over 5'7".


There are so many good parts to this post.
 
2013-09-17 10:12:04 AM

Bruce Campbell: It seems that any time I watched an asscar race, it was a road course (oval=boring), and invariably, someone would punt him and whoever did was able to do so with impunity.  But, enjoy your "racing" series.


It takes more talent to NOT hit the cars around you during a race.  It's part of NASCAR and expected ('rubbin' is racin'!).  In F1 touching another car with yours usually has consequences.
 
2013-09-17 10:20:00 AM
Well, Penske figured JPM needed a missile-shaped car to take out jet dryers with.  I'm surprised he didn't sign him to a NASCAR contract, considering his stock cars are pretty competetive.
 
2013-09-17 10:31:22 AM

baka-san: Darn those tricky pushrod v8's and 4bbl carbs for being so tricky!!!!

Meh, he had mid rate teams, he is brown, and his english is better than half the fans...

He was never gonna be embraced.


Don't forget that he's an a**hole, even more than the Busch brothers.
 
2013-09-17 10:40:54 AM

baka-san: Darn those tricky pushrod v8's and 4bbl carbs fuel-injection for being so tricky!!!!


FTFY
 
2013-09-17 10:43:49 AM

fatalvenom: Trolltastic headline, Subby.


The other 3 attempts in yesterday's queue didn't work.
 
2013-09-17 10:47:34 AM
Oh, I guess I got to break out the funny from the announcement yesterday

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

BREAKING NEWS: COUNTLESS TIRED AND PLAYED OUT JET-DRYER JOKES COMING TO INDYCAR

Sincerely hope Chip Ganassi wasn't standing on a pit wall when he heard this news.

NASCAR can relax a bit, knowing only team order Montoya will be receiving from Chip Ganassi is "Go f--- yourself."

With the skills of Helio and Will Power well documented, @jpmontoya joins the @penskeracing IndyCar stable as BY FAR the worst dancer.

Ganassi overheard on cell phone: "YOU HEARD ME - GET ME A 4TH DAMN INDYCAR TEAM. CALLING HORNISH NOW. THIS IS WAR."

NASCAR Wonka @NASCAR_Wonka

What if Montoya is really going to Penske to spy for Ganassi, and we're all too blinded by the white starched shirts to see it?

Montoya didn't want to drive the #78 so much that he changed series just to avoid it.
 
2013-09-17 10:59:04 AM
so just so i have my carousel straight..

SHR- Out: Newman, In: Harvick and Kurt
EGR- Out: Montoya, In: Larson
RCR- Out: Harvick and Burton, In: Dillon and Newman
FRR- Out: Kurt, In: Montoya ???
 
2013-09-17 11:00:36 AM

UNC_Samurai: /I'm sitting not quite halfway between Kimi and Jenson


And I got 5 on Webber...

The one F1 race I got to go to, the 1984 GP of Dallas.

upload.wikimedia.org
Yeah, the turbo years.
 
2013-09-17 11:09:40 AM

baka-san: UNC_Samurai: /I'm sitting not quite halfway between Kimi and Jenson

And I got 5 on Webber...

The one F1 race I got to go to, the 1984 GP of Dallas.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 840x527]
Yeah, the turbo years.


The turbo is coming back in 2014.
 
2013-09-17 11:14:36 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.


NASCAR should just go full WWE and admit it's about entertainment and not competition.

"If Junior wants to go high-side into turn four, that's his funeral. Oooooh Yeaaah!"
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-17 11:14:58 AM

The Goon Show: [upload.wikimedia.org image 840x527]
Yeah, the turbo years.

The turbo is coming back in 2014.


Yeah.

I miss the 12s
 
2013-09-17 11:16:16 AM
Well, bye
 
2013-09-17 11:28:36 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.


Not a fu*king chance. He was better-funded than his also-ran teammate Jamie McMurray, yet has been woefully out-raced by him as well (McMurray has won both Indy and Daytona with Juan getting better equipment). JPM just isn't very good in a Cup car, plain and simple.
 
2013-09-17 11:59:08 AM

The Bestest: so just so i have my carousel straight..

SHR- Out: Newman, In: Harvick and Kurt
EGR- Out: Montoya, In: Larson
RCR- Out: Harvick and Burton, In: Dillon and Newman
FRR- Out: Kurt, In: Montoya ???


FRR - In: Ty Dillon/Mark Martin/Brian Scott??? c-c-c-c-combobreaker
 
2013-09-17 12:00:26 PM

KJUW89: baka-san: Darn those tricky pushrod v8's and 4bbl carbs for being so tricky!!!!

Meh, he had mid rate teams, he is brown, and his english is better than half the fans...

He was never gonna be embraced.

Don't forget that he's an a**hole, even more than the Busch brothers.


You had me til that.... no one out-a**holes the Busch brothers

/except maybe Logano
 
2013-09-17 12:16:22 PM
Who cares?
The ones who win will be the ones they want to win and you will buy as you are told.
/no thanks
 
2013-09-17 12:19:30 PM
I hate mid week NASCAR threads.

That being said, good move for Penske. 2014 will be fun in Indycar.
 
2013-09-17 01:03:30 PM

Rapmaster2000: NASCAR worked all the wrong angles with him.  He should have been cast as a snooty European and done things like burnouts on the American flag and hitting Junior from behind with a chair.  They could have at least made him a hardworking and friendly Mexican sidekick.



Nothing like the bra-and-panties NHRA matches with the Force Girls.
 
2013-09-17 01:09:16 PM

crotchgrabber: 2014 will be fun in Indycar.


legacy.csfa.net

Not for these guys
 
2013-09-17 01:22:35 PM

One Thousand: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.

NASCAR should just go full WWE and admit it's about entertainment and not competition.

"If Junior wants to go high-side into turn four, that's his funeral. Oooooh Yeaaah!"
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


In a odd twist of fate, Danica Patrick takes on the role of the Randy Orton, and craps in the helmet of the guys that she doesn't get along with.  Her latest victim, AJ, thought the "brown cream" in his helmet was just special gel for his short locks.
 
2013-09-17 01:42:54 PM
@brantjames
Another open wheel expat returning home underscores how committed (or stubborn) @SamHornish must be in making stock car career work.
 
2013-09-17 01:46:09 PM

LoR75: One Thousand: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.

NASCAR should just go full WWE and admit it's about entertainment and not competition.

"If Junior wants to go high-side into turn four, that's his funeral. Oooooh Yeaaah!"
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

In a odd twist of fate, Danica Patrick takes on the role of the Randy Orton, and craps in the helmet of the guys that she doesn't get along with.  Her latest victim, AJ, thought the "brown cream" in his helmet was just special gel for his short locks.


I'm just imagining how surreal it would be for Danica Patrick to hit the Twist of Fate on Jeff Gordon on the #48 Lowe's Chevrolet.

/needs more JR
 
2013-09-17 02:04:21 PM

Zik-Zak: LoR75: One Thousand: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Like anything else with WWE, I mean, NASCAR -- put him on one of the "favored" teams and he'd compete for the title every year.

NASCAR should just go full WWE and admit it's about entertainment and not competition.

"If Junior wants to go high-side into turn four, that's his funeral. Oooooh Yeaaah!"
[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

In a odd twist of fate, Danica Patrick takes on the role of the Randy Orton, and craps in the helmet of the guys that she doesn't get along with.  Her latest victim, AJ, thought the "brown cream" in his helmet was just special gel for his short locks.

I'm just imagining how surreal it would be for Danica Patrick to hit the Twist of Fate on Jeff Gordon on the #48 Lowe's Chevrolet.

/needs more JR


BAH GAWD KING, THAT CHEVY HAD A FAMILY!

Somebody get in there and stop this carnage before....

Is that, is that, BAH GAWD, it's Junior's music! Business has just picked up! He's gonna put an end to Danica's reign of terror and its gonna be a slobberknocker, folks.
 
2013-09-17 02:21:32 PM

good_2_go: @brantjames
Another open wheel expat returning home underscores how committed (or stubborn) @SamHornish must be in making stock car career work.


Probably just a safety issue. Dude has kids and makes a good living. He can Drive in Nationwide for another 5 years and call it a day if he's made smart investments. Won't retire "rich" per say, but he can work 20 hours/week doing seminars and managing rental properties until his kids are through college. Not the worst plan in the world.
 
2013-09-17 02:41:34 PM

Random Name Generator: The Bestest: so just so i have my carousel straight..

SHR- Out: Newman, In: Harvick and Kurt
EGR- Out: Montoya, In: Larson
RCR- Out: Harvick and Burton, In: Dillon and Newman
FRR- Out: Kurt, In: Montoya ???

FRR - In: Ty Dillon/Mark Martin/Brian Scott??? c-c-c-c-combobreaker


Wasn't Mark Martin all set to retire like 10 years ago when Rusty bowed out? If he was ready to hang it up then why is he still sticking around doing the part-time or small team thing?
 
2013-09-17 04:45:10 PM

dallylamma: Wasn't Mark Martin all set to retire like 10 years ago when Rusty bowed out? If he was ready to hang it up then why is he still sticking around doing the part-time or small team thing?


Mark wanted to cut his schedule back around 2005-2006 to focus on his son Matt's racing. As I understood it, Matt decided to go to college first, get an education, then come back to racing, so he'd have something to fall back on if driving didn't work out.

Needless to say, Mark's schedule was a lot more open, and he seems to enjoy being the guy to help build a team atmosphere. Look at the influence he's had on the #5 at Hendrick, and most recently at MWR. Plus he can skip the tracks he doesn't like racing (the flattest tracks and plate tracks come to mind).
 
2013-09-17 06:54:47 PM

QueenMamaBee: KJUW89:

Don't forget that he's an a**hole, even more than the Busch brothers.

You had me til that.... no one out-a**holes the Busch brothers

/except maybe Logano


THIS
 
2013-09-17 09:39:26 PM
He probably just got bored driving round and round in circles.
 
2013-09-17 10:34:04 PM

One Thousand: NASCAR should just go full WWE and admit it's about entertainment and not competition.


Except you only have the former when you have the latter. There's a reason NASCAR, IndyCar, F1, and really most racing series are concerned with parity in the field- it keeps things interesting. F1 has had many seasons where it really was a parade, and those lost interest from the fans pretty quickly. If your team wasn't #1 (see 1993 Williams in F1) then there wasn't much reason to pay close attention. You'd just be viewing an ass-whupping.

NASCAR and most other series do realize they sell entertainment. But the way they entertain is through interesting competition on the track... lose that, you lose business.
 
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