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(Mother Jones)   If you're one of those helicopter parents who need to have all the latest and greatest high-tech gadgets to control your precious little snowflakes, here's some more   (motherjones.com) divider line 12
    More: Spiffy, helicopter parents, high-techs, Sand Hill Road, doctor's visit  
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5343 clicks; posted to Geek » on 16 Sep 2013 at 12:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-16 02:31:30 PM
2 votes:
I just want a toddler version of those remote-controlled dog shock collars.
2013-09-16 04:19:56 PM
1 votes:
The whycry thing could be pretty useful for a parent who was deaf.

The Owlet thing looks pretty awesome. How many other products let you flip your baby by remote control?
www.owletcare.com
2013-09-16 04:18:02 PM
1 votes:

InmanRoshi: Now it's constant worrying about getting into the right Montessori  pre-schools, and whether he's going to behind other kids his age when it's time for him to go to school.


He's going to behind them?  That's very precocious for a pre-schooler.  They usually don't start behinding each other until puberty.
2013-09-16 03:56:38 PM
1 votes:

Russ1642: FloydA: Mikey1969: FloydA: Mikey1969:
Yeah, about those "ounces" i mentioned...

What about them?  For 20 bucks, you can buy a digital scale that is sensitive enough to measure ounces.  (Hell, for 70 bucks, you can get one that measures ounces, estimates your body fat, bone density, and body water percentages.)  There is really no good reason to spend $180 on a scale that sends readings to your iPhone, but that will be completely useless in a year (when a: the baby is too big for it and b:you get a new phone and the app no longer works).

A: I don't need the thing to send to an iPhone, that's just silly.


That's what the one in the article does.


B: Apparently you haven't heard about how people sell baby stuff all of the time. We've got t thing called "Craigslist" here on our end of the Internets. Hell, we even have stores here the do nothing but buy and re-sell baby clothes, toys and accessories.

I treasure my ignorance of all things baby-related.

That includes anything involved in making babies as well.



Your mother disagrees.
2013-09-16 03:54:03 PM
1 votes:

FloydA: Mikey1969: FloydA: Mikey1969:
Yeah, about those "ounces" i mentioned...

What about them?  For 20 bucks, you can buy a digital scale that is sensitive enough to measure ounces.  (Hell, for 70 bucks, you can get one that measures ounces, estimates your body fat, bone density, and body water percentages.)  There is really no good reason to spend $180 on a scale that sends readings to your iPhone, but that will be completely useless in a year (when a: the baby is too big for it and b:you get a new phone and the app no longer works).

A: I don't need the thing to send to an iPhone, that's just silly.


That's what the one in the article does.


B: Apparently you haven't heard about how people sell baby stuff all of the time. We've got t thing called "Craigslist" here on our end of the Internets. Hell, we even have stores here the do nothing but buy and re-sell baby clothes, toys and accessories.

I treasure my ignorance of all things baby-related.


That includes anything involved in making babies as well.
2013-09-16 03:20:52 PM
1 votes:

FloydA: Mikey1969: No Such Agency: And owning your own baby scale is just dumb.  Do you own a bathroom scale?  Congratulations, you can weigh your baby.  Not rocket science.

Maybe we just have too much money.

1) Pick up baby
2) Stand on scale, get weight of you plus baby
3) Put down baby
4) Stand on scale, get weight of you without baby
5) Subtract.


Shut your mouth, you're gonna ruin my puppy and kitten scales before they're even ready to launch!

/patent pending
2013-09-16 02:49:09 PM
1 votes:
 o.onionstatic.com
2013-09-16 02:42:47 PM
1 votes:

Vaneshi: The only one that doesn't look totally stupid is the 'whycry' thing and that's only if it works totally as advertised.  If only because I am occasionally curious why some idiots kid is screaming its head off.


Really? A vitals monitor seems "stupid" to you? I have a friend whose daughter probably won't survive until 2 years old. She's in the hospital every few weeks. I guess it would be pretty "Stupid" to keep track of her vitals, in case they were able to get her in sooner.

A baby scale isn't really "Stupid", either.

Neither is the diary. When you take in the kid and they are sick, sometimes they ask how frequently you change diapers, what condition the poo was in, what color the pee was, how they've been sleeping, how much they sleep each night, what time of day they take their naps, and for how long.

The GPS is really only stupid because of the cost. Some people have to spy on their caregivers before they find out that the child is being endangered or neglected.

The speakers aren't really stupid, there seems to be some serious research into providing your kid with music. Besides, making them used to noise means that you don't have to sneak around the house when they're sleeping. With my 2 stepsons and my daughter, we continued like normal once they fell asleep so that they'd get used to noise. These would help jumpstart that.

There are really only 2 "Stupid" things on the list: A $400 car seat that tells you that the kid is buckled in, and (Are you ready for this one?) The "Baby crying analyzer". Not only is it pretty easy to figure out why a baby is crying(They are either hungry, hurting, dirty, or tired, for the most part), but I would call bullshiat on this even working(There was some stupid movie where the 'Wacky Inventor Dad' tried this, and I bet this one is about as good). The easiest way to figure out why your kid is crying is to teach them sign language. My daughter was able to start signing at about 9 months or so, and as soon as she told us that she wanted milk or where she was hurting, she would almost immediately stop crying. It worked amazingly well.
2013-09-16 02:37:45 PM
1 votes:
When did Cracked start writing for Mother Jones?

/ I was suprised the article ws not split into 2 pages
2013-09-16 02:11:56 PM
1 votes:
i1151.photobucket.com
`Little Suzy seems to be irked about something. What does the Tantrum Meter TM say?'
2013-09-16 01:26:10 PM
1 votes:
Why Cry Baby Cry Analyzer

Simpsons did it

i.imgur.com
2013-09-16 01:03:59 PM
1 votes:
The only one that doesn't look totally stupid is the 'whycry' thing and that's only if it works totally as advertised.  If only because I am occasionally curious why some idiots kid is screaming its head off.
 
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