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(Fox News)   Use Gmail? You could be a terrorist, according to the former head of the NSA and CIA   (foxnews.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, CIA, Gmail, NSA, adult educations, CIA director, u.s. national, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, Episcopal Church  
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6005 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2013 at 10:12 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-16 09:08:25 AM  
I use Gmail. Where's my "suspected terrorist" button?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-09-16 09:09:01 AM  
I guess you could be if you don't too.
 
2013-09-16 09:11:08 AM  

ZAZ: I use Gmail. Where's my "suspected terrorist" button?


You have to move to the new Terrorism tab.  It's right next to Promotions.
 
2013-09-16 09:11:51 AM  
What if I use Gmail but hate the most recent UI changes?
 
2013-09-16 09:16:56 AM  

vpb: I guess you could be if you don't too.


Which means in the world of a bureaucrat he is the best kind of correct. Technically.
 
2013-09-16 09:27:28 AM  
Build a powerful, functional, free and popular service: terrorism
Encrypting your network to prevent illegal spying: aiding terrorism
Interception communications of American citizens far beyond the scope of the law and in direct conflict with the 4th Amendment: patriotism

/USA! USA! USA!
 
2013-09-16 10:15:25 AM  
I have 4 gmail accounts, does that mean I'm 4 times as likely to be a terrorist then the average person?


/sure hope so, I'm tired of just being average
 
2013-09-16 10:16:34 AM  
The company I'm currently providing consulting services for uses Gmail as their global email platform. We're talking about close to 100,000 potential terrorists just within one domain.
 
2013-09-16 10:17:17 AM  
Yeah, well both of those agencies can go fark themselves.
 
2013-09-16 10:17:21 AM  
And guess what UltraFark email uses.
 
2013-09-16 10:17:30 AM  

BizarreMan: What if I use Gmail but hate the most recent UI changes?


They will get over it.
 
2013-09-16 10:17:34 AM  
Bet you won't hear this guy point out that Boeing is the preferred airplane manufacturer of terrorist hijackers.
 
2013-09-16 10:18:21 AM  
They already think I am one.  I have more than 7 days of food at home
 
2013-09-16 10:20:19 AM  

vpb: I guess you could be if you don't too.


It's well-known that shoplifters use Yahoo mail.
 
2013-09-16 10:24:07 AM  
Good thing I don't use my real name on my email so they don't know who I am.
 
2013-09-16 10:24:55 AM  
What if my Geocities community is the "Totally Not a Terrorist" group?
 
2013-09-16 10:27:22 AM  
What if I watch goat porn while stroking myself to Yoko Ono records played backwards?

Then I might be the former head of the NSA and CIA
 
2013-09-16 10:28:06 AM  
I use AOLMail for all my illegal activities. Security through obscurity.
 
2013-09-16 10:28:50 AM  
Isn't that true of any given internet service? Truisms have a special place in rhetorical hell.
 
2013-09-16 10:29:07 AM  
Oh dear. Wife and I have gmail accounts. And I am sure there is a box cutter somewhere in the junk drawer. But I think we are out of the woods, since we do NOT own any pressure cookers.
 
2013-09-16 10:29:43 AM  
Well, to be perfectly honest, I usually terrify people with my horrible spelling when I type fast and when the Email is not going anywhere important.
 
2013-09-16 10:30:00 AM  
Duh!  Gmail works well, why wouldn't terrorists like it?
 
2013-09-16 10:30:01 AM  

Unoriginal_Username: I have 4 gmail accounts, does that mean I'm 4 times as likely to be a terrorist then the average person?


/sure hope so, I'm tired of just being average


yes.  please lay flat on the ground and assume the retrieval position.  the agents will be at your locations shortly.
 
2013-09-16 10:30:01 AM  
Yeah, this is bait.  Terrorists are supposed to be all like: "wait we can stop using onion addresses in TOR and use gmail?"  And google is supposed to be like "we're still massive sellouts, suckas".  Done.  Problem solved.
 
2013-09-16 10:30:25 AM  

Unoriginal_Username: I have 4 gmail accounts, does that mean I'm 4 times as likely to be a terrorist then the average person?


/sure hope so, I'm tired of just being average


I have four as well. But one of them is a student account through a university. Is that better or worse?

Probably worse, what with the education aspect and all...
 
2013-09-16 10:31:18 AM  
Might be?

With the shiat that blew out my ass this weekend I'm defiantly a terrorist. We are talking weapons grade gas.
 
2013-09-16 10:33:36 AM  
The fact that this guy confound a free email service with an Internet provider service is the real scary part.  How long before all these techno-dumb old geezer are out and the more tech-savvy generation gets in place.
 
2013-09-16 10:34:01 AM  

Pick: Oh dear. Wife and I have gmail accounts. And I am sure there is a box cutter somewhere in the junk drawer. But I think we are out of the woods, since we do NOT own any pressure cookers.


uh oh.....I think I have the trifecta: gmail, box cutter and pressure cooker.

/hold on someone's at the doo
 
2013-09-16 10:37:50 AM  

Loren: Duh!  Gmail works well, why wouldn't terrorists like it?


Because they want to be martyrs?
 
2013-09-16 10:37:50 AM  
"Gmail is the preferred Internet service provider of terrorists worldwide,"

Didn't realise gmail also offered internet connections, or is he mentally handicapped?
 
2013-09-16 10:40:04 AM  
I'd hate to see what they classify the utrafark account......
 
2013-09-16 10:46:34 AM  

cervier: The fact that this guy confound a free email service with an Internet provider service is the real scary part.  How long before all these techno-dumb old geezer are out and the more tech-savvy generation gets in place.


Came to say this...

FTFA:  "Gmail is the preferred Internet service provider..."

What the fark guy?  Really?  ISP?  It's an email service, not internet service.  And you were the farking head of the NSA, which monitors all these ISPs and Email providers?  Wow...just wow.

Gmail is the preferred email provider would be an accurate statement.  You don't need to add the modifier "for terrorists".  It's free and the best free email service available, so of course people will use it.  It's what I use, and what almost everyone I know uses.
 
2013-09-16 10:49:28 AM  
Goldspider:Bet you won't hear this guy point out that Boeing is the preferred airplane manufacturer of terrorist hijackers.
Congratulations! Your Weeners that's true and funny! +1 Would read again!
/totes serious
 
2013-09-16 10:50:16 AM  

Pick: Oh dear. Wife and I have gmail accounts. And I am sure there is a box cutter somewhere in the junk drawer. But I think we are out of the woods, since we do NOT own any pressure cookers.


But since you used those words you will be monitored heavily now. 

Enjoy your time in prison, citizen.
 
2013-09-16 10:55:04 AM  

Voiceofreason01: Build a powerful, functional, free and popular service: terrorism
Encrypting your network to prevent illegal spying: aiding terrorism
Interception communications of American citizens far beyond the scope of the law and in direct conflict with the 4th Amendment: patriotism

/USA! USA! USA!


api.ning.com
 
2013-09-16 10:55:50 AM  
Attack Gmail. Google. Android.

The War of Corporate Terrorism has begun and for instructions on how to keep safe, only your iPhone or iPad or Siri will send to the correct instructions. Google maps will send you over a mine field.


www.ronnestam.com
 
2013-09-16 10:57:45 AM  
Are you alive? You might be a terrorist.
 
2013-09-16 10:58:25 AM  

Pick: Oh dear. Wife and I have gmail accounts. And I am sure there is a box cutter somewhere in the junk drawer. But I think we are out of the woods, since we do NOT own any pressure cookers.


But do you own a backpack?
 
2013-09-16 11:03:15 AM  

CrazyCracka420: What the fark guy?  Really?  ISP?  It's an email service, not internet service.  And you were the farking head of the NSA, which monitors all these ISPs and Email providers?  Wow...just wow.


cervier: The fact that this guy confound a free email service with an Internet provider service is the real scary part.  How long before all these techno-dumb old geezer are out and the more tech-savvy generation gets in place.


Maybe he did not misspeak.  Maybe the largest concentration of terrorists are now in Kansas City using the free Google Fiber service.
 
2013-09-16 11:08:03 AM  

CrazyCracka420: cervier: The fact that this guy confound a free email service with an Internet provider service is the real scary part.  How long before all these techno-dumb old geezer are out and the more tech-savvy generation gets in place.

Came to say this...

FTFA:  "Gmail is the preferred Internet service provider..."

What the fark guy?  Really?  ISP?  It's an email service, not internet service.  And you were the farking head of the NSA, which monitors all these ISPs and Email providers?  Wow...just wow.

Gmail is the preferred email provider would be an accurate statement.  You don't need to add the modifier "for terrorists".  It's free and the best free email service available, so of course people will use it.  It's what I use, and what almost everyone I know uses.


Pretty much came here to say this^.

If you work for the NSA in ANY capacity and don't know the difference between and ISP and email provider.... You should be instantly fired. Even the security guard at the gate who just punches in and out every day for $10 an hour should be expected to know that, let alone the head of the organization.
 
2013-09-16 11:15:47 AM  
Is this the same tool who had his breifing room built to look like the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise?
 
2013-09-16 11:21:13 AM  
Look, just because my addy is D­e­athToIm­peri­a­li­stPigDo­gInfide­ls[nospam-﹫-backwards]li­am­g*c­om, that doesn't make me a terrorist.
 
2013-09-16 11:30:02 AM  

GoldSpider: Bet you won't hear this guy point out that Boeing is the preferred airplane manufacturer of terrorist hijackers.


It's a little-known fact that, when it comes to peanut butter, choosy terrorists choose JIF.
 
2013-09-16 11:31:03 AM  

cervier: The fact that this guy confound a free email service with an Internet provider service is the real scary part.  How long before all these techno-dumb old geezer are out and the more tech-savvy generation gets in place.


Confound? You just made the same mistake he did, you condescending prick.
 
2013-09-16 11:41:15 AM  
I use netscape navigator for all my terrist scenarios. Plebians.
 
2013-09-16 11:45:04 AM  
well i had to email my bosses to let them know about this. using their gmail accounts.
 
2013-09-16 11:46:52 AM  
So, if I use my gmail account when I buy electronics components from Jameco, does this mean I'm now on double secret probation terrorist watch list?
 
2013-09-16 11:53:18 AM  
I email a lot of pics of my dog using gmail. I suppose the lil' sh*t could be planning something really really bad, but he won't tell me.
 
2013-09-16 11:53:55 AM  
I transfer everything via Gopher. They'll never catch me.

www.usg.edu
 
2013-09-16 11:59:17 AM  
 Well isn't that their default position already regardless of a Gmail account?
 
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