SilentStrider: Why would you want to bring a child onto a world where A-Rod and the Yankees might still make the playoffs?
Keep right except to pass.
Tip your waitress.
Don't eat the yellow snow.
Don't turn your back.
Don't forget to bring a towel.
Open a checking account with a credit union instead of a bank.
Try to avoid travelling by airplane when practical.
New York-style pizza is superior to all other kinds.
Don't go commando while wearing tight jeans.
Don't look away.
Don't download porn on your work computer.
Always treat all firearm as if they're loaded.
Never point the business end at anything or anyone you do not intend to destroy.
Never put your finger in the trigger well until and unless you are ready to shoot.
Always be sure of your target, as well as anything beside or beyond your target that you may not want to destroy.
If you're trying to get pregnant, try at the correct time of the month.
Condoms are an impediment to pregnancy.
Consult your physician before, during and after pregnancy.
Get any and all vaccinations for your child.
Don't post unmarked NSFW links of Fark.
Don't start a land war in Asia.
Don't do unto others that which you wouldn't want them to do unto you.
Don't yell "fire" in a crowded theater.
Don't fart in a crowded elevator.
And don't blink.
namegoeshere: Every 36 hours, like clockwork.
God Is My Co-Pirate: Best time is just before hallway through the cycle - a little before you might think. Start with the folic acid now, but don't stress about all the contradictory advice out there.
namegoeshere: Boxers, not briefs.
Oakenshield: Stop asking Fark for advice on child rearing.
W.C.fields forever: I think you can rent those things now..
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