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(Web Pro News)   Fark-ready headline: "Florida monkeys threaten residents with herpes"   (webpronews.com) divider line 17
    More: Florida, herpes, tour guides  
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17 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-15 01:24:23 AM
FTA: "The virus is commonly found among macaque..."


zzzzzzZip!
 
2013-09-15 01:34:58 AM
Do not taunt Florida Monkey.
 
2013-09-15 01:53:49 AM
Only in Florida do you have to remind people not to f**k monkeys.
 
2013-09-15 01:57:09 AM

King Something: Do not taunt Florida Monkey.



In Florida, monkey taunts YOU!
 
2013-09-15 09:01:17 AM
You know, to the uninitiated, Florida could sound like a magical land. Like India, but without all the curry. Invasive monkeys. Invasive snakes. Invasive iguanas, and ants, and bees. Crazy old people. Crazy crackers. Crazy tourists. With Cuban food on one side, death metal on the other, and Disney in the middle.

Pretty soon they will be hiring big monkey mercenaries to keep the little monkeys away from sporting events.
 
2013-09-15 09:03:51 AM
Hey monkey, that thing on your lip got a thing on its lip.
 
2013-09-15 09:10:01 AM
Troops of feral disease-infested monkeys? Sounds like Tea Party candidates will do well in Florida next year.
 
2013-09-15 09:13:13 AM

Amos Quito: FTA: "The virus is commonly found among macaque..."


zzzzzzZip!


Among other things.
 
2013-09-15 09:42:03 AM
If you see this man in Florida tell him no!

stevebroback.com

And tell him to get out of the sun before he melts.

Also, when you do a GIS for 'you want to touch my monkey' this is one of the the results...

i20.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-15 09:45:35 AM
bingethinker:
Only in Florida do you have to remind people not to f**k monkeys.

A practice introduced here by Canadians?
 
2013-09-15 09:56:34 AM
They only threaten Floridians who have herpes? How do they know?
 
2013-09-15 10:11:41 AM

QueenMamaBee: They only threaten Floridians who have herpes? How do they know?


They can tell by their fake tan / orange skin , jet black hair, and fake boobs. The same way the locals do.
 
2013-09-15 10:19:50 AM
hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville
 
2013-09-15 10:26:17 AM

LordOfThePings: hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville

hundreds of them are infected with Herpes B and are moving towards Jacksonville


So a bunch of oversized, herpes-infected primates with little grasp of the English language are heading into Jacksonville? I thought they were playing at Oakland today.

/Runs
 
2013-09-15 10:51:05 AM

bingethinker: Only in Florida do you have to remind people not to f**k monkeys.


Well, to be fair, when the only alternative is Floridians, it's tougher decision.
 
2013-09-15 11:15:19 AM

neongoats: You know, to the uninitiated, Florida could sound like a magical land. Like India, but without all the curry. Invasive monkeys. Invasive snakes. Invasive iguanas, and ants, and bees. Crazy old people. Crazy crackers. Crazy tourists. With Cuban food on one side, death metal on the other, and Disney in the middle.

Pretty soon they will be hiring big monkey mercenaries to keep the little monkeys away from sporting events.


Folks, we've found Carl Hiaasen's Fark handle.

And this time next year, you can get your Husky strangled and eaten by STD-positive 10' South African Rock Boas.
 
2013-09-15 11:25:21 PM

Whatchoo Talkinbout: bingethinker:
Only in Florida do you have to remind people not to f**k monkeys.

A practice introduced here by Canadians?


Yeah, our polar monkeys are real sexy.
 
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