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(Yahoo)   Holy shiat   (gma.yahoo.com) divider line 115
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30597 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2013 at 1:22 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-14 08:33:36 PM
FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed
 
2013-09-14 10:29:31 PM
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the fecal coliform...

/no wonder that stuff drives off demons
 
2013-09-14 10:38:57 PM
The new Jesus Wafer:

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-14 10:40:47 PM

panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed


Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.
 
2013-09-14 11:05:43 PM
Nice headline, Subby!!


/L O Farking L!!
//I never liked being "blessed" with that stuff
///not a vampire
 
2013-09-14 11:06:10 PM
Holy water on the brain and I'm losing sleep
Holy Bible on the night stand next to me
Damn the water if its life, you want to drink
Mind your mother if it makes you feel at ease, as you're raped by another monkey circus freak
'Cause its the big lies are more likely to be believed
 
2013-09-14 11:09:03 PM

Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.


FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!
 
2013-09-14 11:11:53 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!


Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.
 
2013-09-14 11:24:50 PM

Lsherm: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!

Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.


Umm... Lourdes?  There are springs all over that people believe are holy, Lourdes being the most famous.

You know, perhaps this is just Darwin in action.
 
2013-09-14 11:39:40 PM

Lsherm: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!

Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.


Well, the point I was trying to make is that you're not in Austria. Them Austrians do things differently. Hairstyles, for one thing.

www.topnews.in
 
2013-09-14 11:51:57 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!

Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.

Well, the point I was trying to make is that you're not in Austria. Them Austrians do things differently. Hairstyles, for one thing.


Looks like Mark Harmon in a high powered wind tunnel.
 
2013-09-15 12:04:02 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Umm... Lourdes?  There are springs all over that people believe are holy, Lourdes being the most famous.


While considered holy in another sense, those aren't sources of "holy" water.  To use water in a Sacrament it has to be blessed first.  To be considered "Holy Water" it has to be blessed first.  Even Lourdes doesn't meet that criteria.  It never has met that criteria.
 
2013-09-15 12:07:11 AM
E. coli, enterococci and Campylobacter = The Unholy Trinity.
 
2013-09-15 12:28:12 AM

RedPhoenix122: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!

Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.

Well, the point I was trying to make is that you're not in Austria. Them Austrians do things differently. Hairstyles, for one thing.

Looks like Mark Harmon in a high powered wind tunnel.


Maybe, but Fritzl had a better arm and was a much better pocket passer than Harmon.
 
2013-09-15 01:24:06 AM
Can't be worse than those wine cups they serve in Catholic church. Ugh.
 
2013-09-15 01:25:02 AM
Robin inconsolable.
 
2013-09-15 01:27:25 AM
So three nuns are waiting in line for confession. The first one approaches the father and confesses that she had touched a man's manhood, in a fit of lust. The priest orders her to dip the offending hand in the holy water and give fifty hail marys. Upon hearing the punishment the third nun pushes her way past the second to take her place in line. When the priest expressed the his consternation at her action, she told him "there's no way I'm gargling the holy water after that other nun dips her ass in it".
 
2013-09-15 01:27:39 AM
I don't see why this is a problem, don't they make water holy by boiling the Hell out of it.
 
2013-09-15 01:28:33 AM
This is why we need to get God back in our churches.
 
2013-09-15 01:28:53 AM

Lsherm: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Lsherm: panfried: FTFA: Tests indicated 86 percent of the holy water, commonly used in baptism ceremonies and to wet congregants' lips, was infected with common bacteria found in fecal matter such as E. coli, ...

Indeed

Who farking uses Holy Water to wet their lips?

And I was an altar boy for 10 years, the water used for baptism isn't the water at the fonts in the front of the church.  The baptismal font is usually kept empty and filled on the day of baptism with distilled water that is then blessed to "become" Holy Water.  You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

FTFA: "...tested water from 21 springs in Austria and 18 fonts in Vienna..."

Stupid, filthy Austrians!

Yeah, I don't get that, either.  Holy Water is holy because it's blessed, not because of where it comes from.  So the font testing sort of makes sense, but the spring testing doesn't make any sense at all.


I'd be willing to bet the water still has E. coli after it's been blessed
 
2013-09-15 01:29:56 AM

phrawgh: This is why we need to get God back in our churches.


If anything, wouldn't this be a sign that God IS in your churches?
 
2013-09-15 01:30:25 AM
Darwin in action.
 
2013-09-15 01:31:30 AM
fta "This may represent a problem that has hitherto been underestimated,"

It's called 'rocks', as in Scotch-Rocks. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
 
2013-09-15 01:33:51 AM
Every time I touch holy water I am horribly burned and wind up writhing in agony on the floor, so is it really "news" that it is bad for your health?
 
2013-09-15 01:38:49 AM

croesius: So three nuns are waiting in line for confession.


I was wondering when someone was going to mention this old joke.
 
2013-09-15 01:40:57 AM
No wonder it works so well against vampires?
 
2013-09-15 01:41:26 AM
When was the last time someone got sick from one of these springs?

It's called an immune system. DEAL WITH IT!
 
2013-09-15 01:41:41 AM

Lsherm: You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.


Why? It's what parents use at home to bathe their infants, and give them water once weaned.
 
2013-09-15 01:42:55 AM

brownribbon: Lsherm: You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

Why? It's what parents use at home to bathe their infants, and give them water once weaned.


Oh wait. I might be confusing municipal water with water used by the public to bless themselves when they enter church.
 
2013-09-15 01:42:56 AM
Your computer keyboard is even worse than holy water. Stop touching it and go wash your hands.
 
2013-09-15 01:43:17 AM
What do you expect when the priests bless it with holy spunk?
 
2013-09-15 01:43:38 AM
1. E-coli isn't JUST fecal bacteria. It is present in feces, but by no means ONLY in feces.
2. It is almost as if sharing an unsanitized water source might be a bad idea
 
2013-09-15 01:44:04 AM

raerae1980: Nice headline, Subby!!


/L O Farking L!!
//I never liked being "blessed" with that stuff
///not a vampire


haha, thanks. What a topic for my first greenlight... and I somehow thought my headline would be too juvenile. Again I have to remind myself of where I am.

I remember going to church where I grew up, seeing people walk in the doors, dip their fingers in one of the holy water fonts on either side, and anoint their foreheads. I don't remember seeing them wet their lips with it, so that was new to me in the article. My guess is they'd never heard of doing that, or were smart enough to know that water might not be so clean if it's been sitting around and has had all kinds of people's fingers in it.
 
2013-09-15 01:44:39 AM
Of course it's harmful. It's been harmful for thousands of years. Everyone knew it was harmful. It even says so in the Bible -- if pregnant women drink it, they'll have a miscarriage (Numbers 5:11-31)
 
2013-09-15 01:45:59 AM
Is holy water still holy after it has run it's course?

// a trip through the human body shouldn't remove a blessing, amirite?
 
2013-09-15 01:46:40 AM
Holy water?  You mean, like from the toilet?
 
2013-09-15 01:47:19 AM
Headline of the YEAR Subby!  I Typically dont laugh at much and I am still smiling minutes later.
 
2013-09-15 01:48:01 AM
"Bless" that shat with the God of Ultraviolet Light and the Wizard of Reverse Ozmosis.


/Explains why hepatitis is epidemic in Latin American countries
 
2013-09-15 01:48:12 AM
That's nothing.  Some churches will still do communion where everyone drinks from the same cup.
 
2013-09-15 01:49:25 AM

brownribbon: brownribbon: Lsherm: You'd be crazy to pour the public water on a baby.

Why? It's what parents use at home to bathe their infants, and give them water once weaned.

Oh wait. I might be confusing municipal water with water used by the public to bless themselves when they enter church.



Good catch.
 
2013-09-15 01:51:05 AM
62 million bacteria per milliliter of water.  I don't think the human brain can comprehend how many a million is or how tiny bacteria are to fully appreciate that factoid.
 
2013-09-15 01:54:06 AM
My first thought upon reading that headline was, "Wei Tu Lo"

/was that wrong?
//should I not have done that?
 
2013-09-15 01:55:58 AM
 
2013-09-15 01:57:52 AM

red5ish: Your computer keyboard is even worse than holy water. Stop touching it and go wash your hands.


That might be a problem if I could drink my keyboard...
 
2013-09-15 01:58:49 AM
If ingested, water containing nitrates over the maximum contaminant level could cause serious illness, especially in infants younger than 6 months, which could lead to death if untreated

can easily be treated with alternating rounds of prayer and holy water
 
2013-09-15 01:59:08 AM
Better to limit holy water use to revealing hidden passages.

image.gamespotcdn.net
 
2013-09-15 02:00:24 AM

Yes please: 62 million bacteria per milliliter of water.  I don't think the human brain can comprehend how many a million is or how tiny bacteria are to fully appreciate that factoid.


Also, you can't count individual bacteria. You count CFUs, or colony forming units. So 65 million/ per mililiter really means "Our wild ass guess."
 
2013-09-15 02:02:07 AM
It's Austrian water, people. No wonder it's awful. Everything Down Under is trying to kill you.
 
2013-09-15 02:04:20 AM
I'm betting scientists, satanists, atheists and pagans are responsible for desecrating the holy water.
 
2013-09-15 02:07:29 AM

Yes please: 62 million bacteria per milliliter of water.  I don't think the human brain can comprehend how many a million is or how tiny bacteria are to fully appreciate that factoid.


Accorduing to guiness, the smallest insect is smaller than the largest single celled lifeform.

That blows my mind.
 
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