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(Boing Boing)   Bored white lady from California becomes first bored white lady Maasai warrior, writes "Eat Pray Love"+"Dances with Wolves" mashup book tied together with brazen sportswear product placement about it   (boingboing.net) divider line 194
    More: Stupid, Maasai, Eat Pray Love, Mashup (book)  
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11812 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2013 at 5:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-14 06:17:53 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: We brought nothing but the bare essentials (for me, that included a bottle of Chanel Dragon red nail polish-it just made me feel fierce

Wow. Just....wow.


I like to think it's just another attempt at sponsor whoring and she doesn't really think that. Otherwise, I don't know what to say.
 
2013-09-14 06:19:58 PM  

tlchwi02: LeroyBourne: limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.

Don't forget drink goat's blood and want to vomit up said blood.

the tribe we visited for our "cultural" experience actually drank a mix of cow blood and milk. they most certainly did not offer any to us, as it would have made us sick (not just gross, parasites and things our systems aren't used to fighting.) They were very nice, the younger ones all knew English and were able to explain aspect of their culture, so it wasn't purely a shopping trip (70/30 shopping i'd say.) The guides said they used the cash for medicine and other essential stuff they couldn't get any other way, but I have no idea if they just said that to make us to feel less like we were gawking at the strange natives in exchange for a few bucks


See, now that sounds fun.  As long as you know what purpose you serve, learn something new and have fun.  This woman is insufferable and deluded into some false sense of belonging.
/also the red eyes are kinda freaky
 
2013-09-14 06:21:20 PM  

Fluid: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: We brought nothing but the bare essentials (for me, that included a bottle of Chanel Dragon red nail polish-it just made me feel fierce

Wow. Just....wow.

I like to think it's just another attempt at sponsor whoring and she doesn't really think that. Otherwise, I don't know what to say.


I'm guessing she's one of those people who can't separate their own identity from the products they consume. So sad.

/Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.
 
2013-09-14 06:21:21 PM  
and then DEATH, by BOONGA BOONGA!

The Chief has spoken!

The Hero of Shapeir will be sacrificed in Tarna!
 
2013-09-14 06:22:20 PM  
maybe she should have apprenticed to that sikh warrior guy that is the last of his school of fighting, i'm sure he'd give her a good rogering
 
2013-09-14 06:26:02 PM  
Appropriate, coming from
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-14 06:26:28 PM  
Too bad about the crazy, she's kinda cute... wonder if she'd discuss chucking my spear out under the stars in Kenya
 
2013-09-14 06:27:02 PM  
And a bored Massai warrior wondered, "Can I travel to Santa Barbara and become a member of the shopping elite, among the white women?"  And so the warrior travelled to Santa Barbara and wrote a book about the adventure.

That's a book I would buy.
 
2013-09-14 06:28:43 PM  
 A Jewish mother goes to the airport to meet her daughter. The daughter steps off the plane with an eight-foot-tall Maasai warrior with a bone through his nose. The mother screams, "You fool! I said a rich doctor!"
 
2013-09-14 06:29:28 PM  
Stick a ball gag in her mouth, hit it and run.
 
2013-09-14 06:30:01 PM  
AW STANDINGS THIS WEEK:

img.gran-angular.net

FIRST PLACE

media.tumblr.com

SECOND PLACE


/Step up and claim your bronze medal, Mindy!
 
2013-09-14 06:32:02 PM  
How many days into it did she start making Patriarchy allegations?


/I love your culture; it's authentic
//Now change it completely
///You won't?  That's a shootin'
////Exterminate all teh broots
 
2013-09-14 06:33:02 PM  
I have lived in Zenanas, and have seen the daily life of the secluded woman, and I can speak from bitter experience of what their lives are-the intellect dwarfed, so that a woman of twenty or thirty years of age is more like a child of eight, intellectually; while all the worst passions of human nature are stimulated and developed to a Fearful degree: jealousy, envy, murderous hate, intrigue, running to such an extent that in some countries I have hardly ever been to a woman's house without being asked for drugs with which to disfigure the favorite wife, or to take away the life of the favorite wife's infant son.

She's not original...
 
2013-09-14 06:33:11 PM  

jayphat: KiwDaWabbit: What?

This. I have no idea WTF the headline is saying.



I stopped reading BoingBoing over five years ago because of this.  That and the fact that their articles don't pop to a new window and the actual stories are so laden with random links it's hard to remember where I came from if I wanted to check out more than one link.  It boggles the mind. Let me find an example of said headline.

Well what the hell do ya know?  Their most recent headline.

"Kickstarting Hacker Scouts' hackerspace for kids"
Wat?

Next is...
"Urbance: angular, science fictional hip-hop-y animation from Canada "
nubian wut?

But most of the time they are pretty clear.
"A Better Pen"

I dunno, for some reason as I got older I just grew more and more annoyed with the likes of Xeni Jardin and Cory Doctorow.  Cory's book "Something Comes to Town, Something Leaves Town" was pretty good though.  I think that's the name of it...I dunno.  I borrowed it from the library. Because BoingBoing!

I'm being facetious, but seriously sometimes the headlines are just...wat?
 
2013-09-14 06:36:53 PM  

Feel_the_velvet: Isn't this kind of like Oprah Winfrey getting an honorary degree from Harvard?


Right... but Oprah isn't goinv around calling herself a doctor, while this coont is running around calling herself a warrior and selling a book about it.
 
2013-09-14 06:39:38 PM  
Meh, whatever. "Culture" isn't anything that anyone owns the rights to.  Do what you want on your vacation.  If people want to buy a book about it, good for you.
 
2013-09-14 06:40:07 PM  

Apos: AW STANDINGS THIS WEEK:

[img.gran-angular.net image 240x240]

FIRST PLACE

[media.tumblr.com image 500x305]

SECOND PLACE

/Step up and claim your bronze medal, Mindy!


Miley didn't even make the top 3?
 
2013-09-14 06:40:19 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: HotIgneous Intruder: From the "about" blurb in her book:

"Mindy Budgor is a 2012 graduate of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. She started her own business while an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin, and is moving on to new challenges in New York City. Mindy hopes Warrior Princess will bring attention to her tribe and empower readers to slap complacency in the face and take the reins in their own lives."

Grifters gotta grift.

If I had the funds it takes to not work, fly to and from Africa, and waste some time there, I could do this too.


Here's the key (and this is pretty much the concentrated, boiled-down, and distilled contents of an MBA degree, so I me save you and everyone else some fat tuition here by telling you this): OPM.
Other. People's. Money.
You never use your own money to do anything and you always pay yourself first.
That's it, the American grifter's code.
 
2013-09-14 06:40:32 PM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: I'm being facetious, but seriously sometimes the headlines are just...wat?


That's when I run to the bosom of Buzzfeed, where I know exactly what I'm getting with "Eleven pictures of cats not acting like cats."
 
2013-09-14 06:42:22 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: HotIgneous Intruder: From the "about" blurb in her book:

"Mindy Budgor is a 2012 graduate of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. She started her own business while an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin, and is moving on to new challenges in New York City. Mindy hopes Warrior Princess will bring attention to her tribe and empower readers to slap complacency in the face and take the reins in their own lives."

Grifters gotta grift.

If I had the funds it takes to not work, fly to and from Africa, and waste some time there, I could do this too.

Here's the key (and this is pretty much the concentrated, boiled-down, and distilled contents of an MBA degree, so I me save you and everyone else some fat tuition here by telling you this): OPM.
Other. People's. Money.
You never use your own money to do anything and you always pay yourself first.
That's it, the American grifter's code.


Funny how she omitted that line in her thing. Oh wait, they all do that.
 
2013-09-14 06:44:20 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Apos: AW STANDINGS THIS WEEK:

[img.gran-angular.net image 240x240]

FIRST PLACE

[media.tumblr.com image 500x305]

SECOND PLACE

/Step up and claim your bronze medal, Mindy!

Miley didn't even make the top 3?


Nope.
 
2013-09-14 06:50:32 PM  

RoyBatty: Yeah, Xeni Jardin is always fiercely competitive of other attention whores vying for her space.


Are you saying that's the reason she tries to hide the fact that her actual, legal name is Jennifer Hamm?  Shocked I am, shocked.

Given the regular deletion of her real name from Wikipedia and Google search results, it's a fair guess that she pays a reputation protection service to keep that info scrubbed from most easily searched locations.

/I actually like BoingBoing and read it most days. But yeah, for a paid TV personality to actively cleanse the net of their real name is beyond juvenile.  Ms. Hamm needs to get over her bad self.
 
2013-09-14 06:52:47 PM  

RandomRandom: Are you saying that's the reason she tries to hide the fact that her actual, legal name is Jennifer Hamm?


Comment over there at boinkboink and you'll get whapped into the dustbin.
 
2013-09-14 06:53:46 PM  

Apos: no clever name here just move along: Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]

what is that from?

Nathan Fillion's ABC series Castle.


Oh, I love that show.

www.abload.de
 
2013-09-14 06:54:21 PM  
Daily Mail version

of the article, wherein she declares:

'It took every ounce of my being to hold back the bloody throw-up. It felt like drinking warm whole milk, which I've always refused to do not only because of the obscene amount of calories - but also because I have always had an aversion to thick liquid substances'.


a JAP with an aversion to thick liquid substances? (sadpanda)
 
2013-09-14 06:56:28 PM  
I attended a 3-day program at the Skip Barber Racing School. Drove a modified Dodge Neon. Stayed at a drafty B&B at night. I'm a Formula 1 race car driver! Vroom! Vroom!
 
2013-09-14 06:56:40 PM  
The only reason Xeni wrote about it was that this chick beat her to it.
 
2013-09-14 07:01:41 PM  

T-Boy: And a bored Massai warrior wondered, "Can I travel to Santa Barbara and become a member of the shopping elite, among the white women?"  And so the warrior travelled to Santa Barbara and wrote a book about the adventure.


If this book existed, I'd buy it and read it. I don't know that it'd work, though, because bored Maasai warriors tend not to have the cash to be able to travel to California for months and shop enough to become "elite fashionistas" or whatever.

/next up, tech-literate Maasai puts together a Kickstarter to fund that goal, MTV puts together a reality show chronicling the events, and much silliness happens....
 
2013-09-14 07:01:49 PM  
Which chapter talks about the circumcision and the four months of recovery?
 
2013-09-14 07:02:37 PM  

EngineerAU: RoyBatty: Yeah, Xeni Jardin is always fiercely competitive of other attention whores vying for her space.

This.  She's pretty much guilty of everything she said about this woman. Though that goes for pretty much every angry post she makes, which is quite a few.


/Maggie is pretty much the only one left on BB that's worth reading

Agreed.  Maggie's writing is the main reason I still visit BoingBoing.

Between Xeni's self-unaware posts like this, and Cory recommending without reservation, every horrible thing written by anyone he wants to be friends with, there's little left to like at BoingBoing other than Maggie Koerth-Baker, and she's being poached by the NYT.

I expect it won't be long before BoingBoing can no longer afford her.  She's too good for them.
 
2013-09-14 07:06:18 PM  
MFW reading her drivel:
www.reactionimage.org
 
2013-09-14 07:06:30 PM  
I'm curious if her bare necessities list of pearl earrings and expensive nail polish include colored contacts, because that tone just doesn't look natural.

The whole endeavor is head-slappingly condescending and naive to the point of extreme embarassment, but the desperate attempts at a sponsorship takes it to a whole new level of jaw-dropping patheticness.
 
2013-09-14 07:06:53 PM  

LeroyBourne: tlchwi02: LeroyBourne: limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.

Don't forget drink goat's blood and want to vomit up said blood.

the tribe we visited for our "cultural" experience actually drank a mix of cow blood and milk. they most certainly did not offer any to us, as it would have made us sick (not just gross, parasites and things our systems aren't used to fighting.) They were very nice, the younger ones all knew English and were able to explain aspect of their culture, so it wasn't purely a shopping trip (70/30 shopping i'd say.) The guides said they used the cash for medicine and other essential stuff they couldn't get any other way, but I have no idea if they just said that to make us to feel less like we were gawking at the strange natives in exchange for a few bucks

See, now that sounds fun.  As long as you know what purpose you serve, learn something new and have fun.  This woman is insufferable and deluded into some false sense of belonging.
/also the red eyes are kinda freaky


wat?

media.boingboing.net

Well look at that. You were not lying. Hey lady, what's up with those eyes?
 
2013-09-14 07:10:24 PM  
Anyone else catch that a masai warrior is a "Moran"?

Hehe.
 
2013-09-14 07:10:26 PM  

RandomRandom: Are you saying that's the reason she tries to hide the fact that her actual, legal name is Jennifer Hamm?  Shocked I am, shocked.

Given the regular deletion of her real name from Wikipedia and Google search results, it's a fair guess that she pays a reputation protection service to keep that info scrubbed from most easily searched locations.


Having just looked her up on teh wiki, I'm just surprised that she's in a relationship with Miles O'Brien.

upload.wikimedia.org

What happened to Keiko?
 
2013-09-14 07:11:27 PM  
Brown-eyed devil.

/She's not white.
 
2013-09-14 07:14:01 PM  
Fark "eat pray love" and the biatch that wrote it.
 
2013-09-14 07:14:51 PM  
Xeni Jardin is calling a girl "white?"

GET OUT.
 
2013-09-14 07:22:40 PM  
Warrior Princess?
Listen, Toots! There's only ONE Warrior Princess and you ain't it sweet cheeks.

integrallifedesign.com
 
2013-09-14 07:27:36 PM  

Therion: Daily Mail version

of the article, wherein she declares:

'It took every ounce of my being to hold back the bloody throw-up. It felt like drinking warm whole milk, which I've always refused to do not only because of the obscene amount of calories - but also because I have always had an aversion to thick liquid substances'.


a JAP with an aversion to thick liquid substances? (sadpanda)


I'm laughing so hard reading that article. I've changed my mind, this is brilliant satire.

Repeating the aa mantra while composing unsendable emails on her bb?

Plucking her eyebrows while hiding from hippos in the trees?

Painting her toenails to console herself whilst reading "wilderness for dummies"?

The hair whipping contest? My stomach hurts!
 
2013-09-14 07:28:34 PM  

ultraholland: you're not part of the tribe until NatGeo photographs your tits.


this. so...whar titties?
 
2013-09-14 07:28:39 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Brown-eyed devil.

/She's not white.


Jews aren't white?

Nazi!
 
2013-09-14 07:38:03 PM  
She successfully did battle with all the tribe's warriors by disarming them of their spears!  Well, actually, it was more like she hid all their spears.  For a short time at least.  That's got to count as something warrioree like!  Right?
 
2013-09-14 07:39:37 PM  

JSam21: Feel_the_velvet: Isn't this kind of like Oprah Winfrey getting an honorary degree from Harvard?

Right... but Oprah isn't goinv around calling herself a doctor, while this coont is running around calling herself a warrior and selling a book about it.


Duly noted.
 
2013-09-14 07:40:07 PM  
I have no idea what i'm reading, so here's a dog with eyebrows... (click pic for more)

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-14 07:42:19 PM  
That's pretty cool but not as awesome as the time I became the first male warrior of the Amazon tribe .
 
2013-09-14 07:50:12 PM  
When I was a kid on my birthday my parents took me to medieval times, where I was declared a princess of the realm and all the knights paid homage to me.

I even had a paper crown.
 
2013-09-14 07:50:58 PM  

White_Scarf_Syndrome: jayphat: KiwDaWabbit: What?

This. I have no idea WTF the headline is saying.


I stopped reading BoingBoing over five years ago because of this.  That and the fact that their articles don't pop to a new window and the actual stories are so laden with random links it's hard to remember where I came from if I wanted to check out more than one link.  It boggles the mind. Let me find an example of said headline.

Well what the hell do ya know?  Their most recent headline.

"Kickstarting Hacker Scouts' hackerspace for kids"
Wat?

Next is...
"Urbance: angular, science fictional hip-hop-y animation from Canada "
nubian wut?

But most of the time they are pretty clear.
"A Better Pen"

I dunno, for some reason as I got older I just grew more and more annoyed with the likes of Xeni Jardin and Cory Doctorow.  Cory's book "Something Comes to Town, Something Leaves Town" was pretty good though.  I think that's the name of it...I dunno.  I borrowed it from the library. Because BoingBoing!

I'm being facetious, but seriously sometimes the headlines are just...wat?


Oh. I thought I was the only one.

They got really pissy with me when I complained about them info scrapping sites that I run, same with ASK, tried the "prove it" scheme. I did.

I don't mind if they send traffic my way, hell, that's why I pay for unlimited band-width, but I get money for eyeballs too.

The nice lawyer that called my horribly expensive ones, and settled for much less than my yearly retainer fee, was a testament to how bad they farked up. When was the last time you heard of a nice lawyer.

Dreamless: Meh, whatever. "Culture" isn't anything that anyone owns the rights to.  Do what you want on your vacation.  If people want to buy a book about it, good for you.


Meh, I'll wait for the Vivid Videos version.

HotWingAgenda: Apos: no clever name here just move along: Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]

what is that from?

Nathan Fillion's ABC series Castle.

Oh, I love that show.

[www.abload.de image 650x749]


I absolutely love Ms. Quinn.

If she had green eyes, she would be a ringer for the first Ms. Slam at that age. She, Ms. Slam, the first, confuses the Asians now, they want pictures with Fergie, former Duchess of York, and Man, does that send her into orbit. I always told her to charge, for the pictures.

I don't see the resemblance, Fergie is no where near that big.

burdock: Well look at that. You were not lying. Hey lady, what's up with those eyes?


That's the crazy leaking out. I've seen that before.

Up REAL close to my face, even.
 
2013-09-14 07:52:57 PM  
They should've gone all The Naked Prey on her.  "You want to become a warrior?  Start running..."
 
2013-09-14 07:53:07 PM  

limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.


"...Whar's that Eskimo woman I gotta kill?"

/obscure? Not on fark, certainly.
 
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