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(Boing Boing)   Bored white lady from California becomes first bored white lady Maasai warrior, writes "Eat Pray Love"+"Dances with Wolves" mashup book tied together with brazen sportswear product placement about it   (boingboing.net) divider line 194
    More: Stupid, Maasai, Eat Pray Love, Mashup (book)  
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11795 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2013 at 5:04 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-14 05:05:39 PM
What?
 
2013-09-14 05:12:31 PM
Mindy Budgor of Santa Barbara, California has a book out about her adventures in Kenya, "training to become the world's first female Maasai warrior" and, naturally....

Boooorrrrrring!
 
2013-09-14 05:14:54 PM
Yeah, Xeni Jardin is always fiercely competitive of other attention whores vying for her space.
 
2013-09-14 05:15:00 PM
Why couldn't she just get into indigenous nudity or something?
 
2013-09-14 05:15:21 PM
I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.
 
2013-09-14 05:17:24 PM
There are "cultural villages" in Kenya where the poorest tribes live and act as a sort of 24 hour tourist attraction. Visitors can pay to have pretty much any experience they desire. Live with them, eat, dance, rituals whatever. I watched a kid from Jersey get ritual scarring by a real witch doctor as I chatted up the Doc's grandson. It's a pretty sad example of pimping the culture but they need the money. And that kid from Jersey needed his story about "...that time in Africa he became a Masai warrior."

 I have no doubt they would allow a woman to pretend to be just about anything she wanted if the price was right. (probably about 60 bucks)
 
2013-09-14 05:19:06 PM

limboslam: spear a buffalo


Honestly, if it was a Cape buffalo and she had to spear it by herself with no backup, I'd be impressed.  Doubt that's the case, though.
 
2013-09-14 05:21:30 PM

Mobius strip of human stupidity: There are "cultural villages" in Kenya where the poorest tribes live and act as a sort of 24 hour tourist attraction. Visitors can pay to have pretty much any experience they desire. Live with them, eat, dance, rituals whatever.


Museum Fremen....

/ sad
 
2013-09-14 05:23:34 PM
media.boingboing.net

LOOK AT ME!
I PAID AFRICANS TO GRANT ME A MEANINGLESS DESIGNATION!

Also, "Chief Motumba, this white woman wants to be a warrior."

"Its good to be the Chief! Tell her the week long ritual of the "making of the beast with two backs" will commence tonight!"
 
2013-09-14 05:24:25 PM
GIS results in hipster glasses photo within three. Didn't see that coming.
 
2013-09-14 05:25:01 PM
you're not part of the tribe until NatGeo photographs your tits.
 
2013-09-14 05:25:10 PM

limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.


Don't forget drink goat's blood and want to vomit up said blood.
 
2013-09-14 05:25:39 PM
Cheap Gucci loafers for African refugees. Let them eat leather!
 
2013-09-14 05:26:24 PM

limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.


So Friday night, then.
 
2013-09-14 05:27:01 PM
Isn't this kind of like Oprah Winfrey getting an honorary degree from Harvard?
 
2013-09-14 05:29:14 PM
I clicked to find an Eve Plumb reference, but dang if I can google up a pic of Kalingas wife.
 
2013-09-14 05:30:09 PM
About as white as Zimmerman
 
2013-09-14 05:31:09 PM
I've slept on leaves, I've "smothered the goat" almost daily since I turned 12. Before I was married, I was not above "spearing a buffalo" and "bathing with cows". If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
 
2013-09-14 05:31:13 PM
Great ! Another smug Trustifanarian who can afford to be wiser and more cultured than the rest of us .
 
2013-09-14 05:31:19 PM
I didn't know the requirements of Maasai warriorship involved crappy fanfiction writing.

I bet the author of 30 Shades of Grey is some sort of tribal chieftain now?
 
2013-09-14 05:31:33 PM

God-is-a-Taco: About as white as Zimmerman


Actually I take that back. Zimmerman is whiter than she is
 
2013-09-14 05:32:04 PM

KiwDaWabbit: What?


This. I have no idea WTF the headline is saying.
 
2013-09-14 05:32:08 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-14 05:33:24 PM
I'd let her strangle my goat all day long.
 
2013-09-14 05:38:17 PM
Lets hope this coont was infected by some brain eating worm so she can get the full on African experience.
 
2013-09-14 05:39:21 PM
Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-14 05:40:18 PM
Cultural imperialism at its finest.  I'm sure  she believes that the Maasai accept her as a warrior.  I am equally sure that the Maasai do not share that belief.  She bought an adventure fantasy vacation, which is all well and good; I imagine it was fun for her.  To treat it as anything more than that is silly.
 
2013-09-14 05:41:44 PM
I became a Maasai warrior before they became mainstream. I joint this other tribe now, you've probably never heard of them
 
2013-09-14 05:46:30 PM
The Maasai tell tales about the crazy woman who joined them and they watched her puke after drinking blood. It was a humorous tale.
 
2013-09-14 05:47:00 PM

RoyBatty: Yeah, Xeni Jardin is always fiercely competitive of other attention whores vying for her space.


This.  She's pretty much guilty of everything she said about this woman. Though that goes for pretty much every angry post she makes, which is quite a few.

/Maggie is pretty much the only one left on BB that's worth reading
 
2013-09-14 05:48:54 PM
this is not how you become a warrior

/this is how you become a FASHIONABLE warrior
 
2013-09-14 05:49:20 PM
joint? joined  ... post is stoned.
 
2013-09-14 05:49:30 PM

Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]


what is that from?
 
2013-09-14 05:52:58 PM
oi43.tinypic.com

/have you checked yours today?
 
2013-09-14 05:53:08 PM
Hey, Tom Cruise was the last samurai.
 
2013-09-14 05:55:36 PM

no clever name here just move along: Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]

what is that from?


Castle
 
2013-09-14 05:56:39 PM

no clever name here just move along: Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]

what is that from?


Nathan Fillion's ABC series Castle.
 
2013-09-14 05:56:49 PM
Mobius strip of human stupidity:
It's a pretty sad example of pimping the culture but they need the money.

See... it doesn't have to be that way.  About a month ago we were on Manitoulin Island, and pretty much every First Nation on the island has some kind of tourism-related business set up... and none of them treat their culture as cheap entertainment to do so.

Mind you, even Canadian Natives, with all the problems they face, have a lot more money than poor Africans.  Hard to set up a sustainable, culturally-sensitive eco-tourism business when you are flat broke, I imagine.
 
2013-09-14 05:57:47 PM
ParallelUniverseParking:
I became a Maasai warrior before they became mainstream. I joint this other tribe now, you've probably never heard of them

I think I know that tribe.  They love to put birds on things.
 
2013-09-14 05:58:35 PM

no clever name here just move along: Apos: Already expressed in the comments section of TFA, but it bears repeating:


[25.media.tumblr.com image 300x188]

what is that from?


Castle.

25.media.tumblr.com

Murder He Wrote sorta thing. With Nathan Fillion, and an awesome cast in general.

/DEATH TO VOLTAR DEATH TO THE VOLTARIANS
 
2013-09-14 05:59:05 PM
But not without my idiotic dog-bone logo underwear.
 
2013-09-14 06:02:55 PM
So now she's an honorary American African?


/Right thread, this time?
 
2013-09-14 06:03:34 PM
Eat Pray Love + Dances With Wolves + ...
blogs.northcountrypublicradio.org
/doesn't sound like shinola
 
2013-09-14 06:04:32 PM

LeroyBourne: limboslam: I read the whole article somewhere else. Apparently, to become a "warrior" all you need to do is sleep on leaves, kill a goat, spear a buffalo, bathe in a lake with cows and not wash your hair.

Don't forget drink goat's blood and want to vomit up said blood.


the tribe we visited for our "cultural" experience actually drank a mix of cow blood and milk. they most certainly did not offer any to us, as it would have made us sick (not just gross, parasites and things our systems aren't used to fighting.) They were very nice, the younger ones all knew English and were able to explain aspect of their culture, so it wasn't purely a shopping trip (70/30 shopping i'd say.) The guides said they used the cash for medicine and other essential stuff they couldn't get any other way, but I have no idea if they just said that to make us to feel less like we were gawking at the strange natives in exchange for a few bucks
 
2013-09-14 06:05:16 PM

Mobius strip of human stupidity: There are "cultural villages" in Kenya where the poorest tribes live and act as a sort of 24 hour tourist attraction. Visitors can pay to have pretty much any experience they desire. Live with them, eat, dance, rituals whatever. I watched a kid from Jersey get ritual scarring by a real witch doctor as I chatted up the Doc's grandson. It's a pretty sad example of pimping the culture but they need the money. And that kid from Jersey needed his story about "...that time in Africa he became a Masai warrior."

 I have no doubt they would allow a woman to pretend to be just about anything she wanted if the price was right. (probably about 60 bucks)


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-14 06:06:46 PM
Should be a legally required tatoo......truth in advertising.
i1280.photobucket.com
Kinda goes with those Bat-Shiat-Crazy eyes.
 
2013-09-14 06:06:46 PM
We brought nothing but the bare essentials (for me, that included a bottle of Chanel Dragon red nail polish-it just made me feel fierce

Wow. Just....wow.
 
2013-09-14 06:07:21 PM
From the "about" blurb in her book:

"Mindy Budgor is a 2012 graduate of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. She started her own business while an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin, and is moving on to new challenges in New York City. Mindy hopes Warrior Princess will bring attention to her tribe and empower readers to slap complacency in the face and take the reins in their own lives."

Grifters gotta grift.
 
2013-09-14 06:10:34 PM
That trip was FULL of surprises!

b.vimeocdn.com

Just a little of the top...
 
2013-09-14 06:11:52 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: From the "about" blurb in her book:

"Mindy Budgor is a 2012 graduate of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. She started her own business while an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin, and is moving on to new challenges in New York City. Mindy hopes Warrior Princess will bring attention to her tribe and empower readers to slap complacency in the face and take the reins in their own lives."

Grifters gotta grift.


If I had the funds it takes to not work, fly to and from Africa, and waste some time there, I could do this too.
 
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