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(io9)   Website ranks movies based on whether or not dogs are harmed or killed in it. Your dog wants a happy end   (io9.com) divider line 50
    More: Strange, not dog  
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1560 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Sep 2013 at 11:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-13 08:26:14 PM  
The first rule of disaster movies is that you can kill 5 billion people but you can't kill the dog.
 
2013-09-13 08:27:25 PM  
Is it true that in the recut version it's an ox that the alien bursts out of and not a dog? The alien looks and moves like a dog, that's the point. And what's a prison planet doing with an ox?
 
2013-09-13 08:32:03 PM  

Mugato: Is it true that in the recut version it's an ox that the alien bursts out of and not a dog? The alien looks and moves like a dog, that's the point. And what's a prison planet doing with an ox?


What's a prison planet doing with a dog? Oxen are food and labor. Dogs are a privilege.
 
2013-09-13 08:54:21 PM  
Without an "ing" after "end", this headline is just a little bit less funny
 
2013-09-13 11:42:20 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

/ Spoiler: The kid shoots his own dog.
 
2013-09-13 11:42:23 PM  

doglover: Mugato: Is it true that in the recut version it's an ox that the alien bursts out of and not a dog? The alien looks and moves like a dog, that's the point. And what's a prison planet doing with an ox?

What's a prison planet doing with a dog? Oxen are food and labor. Dogs are a privilege.


How is an ox alien going to run up the walls and look pretty much exactly like an alien dog?
 
2013-09-13 11:42:43 PM  
Leave the goddamn dog alone. Assholes.
 
2013-09-13 11:48:51 PM  
Lenny had it coming. The dog didn't:

img109.imageshack.us
 
2013-09-13 11:59:41 PM  
Jesus, I thought they meant real dogs killed in production...which might actually impact whether or not I watched a movie.

Now I'm going to go be sad about Yeller tonight.
 
2013-09-14 12:12:58 AM  
They forgot Independence Day
 
2013-09-14 12:17:57 AM  
Dead dog trifecta in play?

/Dead puppies aren't much fun.
//Oh no, noooo....
 
2013-09-14 12:25:01 AM  
So "A Boy and His Dog" should be ranked the best movie of all time then.
 
2013-09-14 12:30:09 AM  
www.imfdb.org
Strangely not on the list...

/to be fair, it's a bit ambiguous about whether the dog is injured
 
2013-09-14 12:32:57 AM  
Apocalypse Now (1979)

A live ox is hacked to death in this film (a real ox, not a mock one). Also, after a boat is shot up a puppy is found in a barrel, unhurt. One of the soldiers takes the puppy and later it disappears during an attack. What exactly happened to it is left to the viewer, so feel free to imagine that it swam to safety.
 
2013-09-14 12:34:39 AM  
Casino Royale (2006)

One scene features a fight between a cobra and what is supposed to be a mongoose but is actually a ferret. They snap at each other a bit but the fight is interrupted so we don't see either of them significantly harmed. A horse briefly appears in a beach scene.


I bet the poor thing was traumatized...
 
2013-09-14 12:40:32 AM  
I didn't make it 5 minutes into "Beloved" because a dog is getting beaten up (by a ghost, I think. Didn't stick around to find out for sure).

I like my dogs a lot more than I like most humans.
 
2013-09-14 12:40:45 AM  
Here's my contribution for them ...

"Proud, loving, pampering dog owner has his canine abducted, slightly harmed, and threatened with death by a crazed, desperate woman if she doesn't get her way."

(Pic of owner and pooch ... ah, here it is ...)

application.denofgeek.com

/It's a farking FICTIONAL dog, people.
//and a friendly reminder: animals kill each other in real life.
 
2013-09-14 12:52:55 AM  
For some reason I never thought about it until just now, but AFI's #1 hero shoots a dog dead (on screen even).  It must be a fairly short list of film heroes that can get away with that...
 
2013-09-14 12:55:37 AM  
Whenever someone asks me what my favorite movies are, I never quite know what to say. I mean, I dig some art house stuff, but also low budget trash, cheesy comedies, good horror, bad horror, cerebral and sophomoric. I never had a metric. Until now, that is.

If I can't find a crying dog next to a flick I like, then it can't make it into my top ten.
 
2013-09-14 12:58:42 AM  
I have a much simpler way of finding out:  Is the movie about a person's relationship with his/her dog?  If it is, the dog dies.
 
2013-09-14 01:04:57 AM  
Movies are always better without dogs, but if they must have a dog, they are better if it dies.
 
2013-09-14 01:15:36 AM  

theunblinkingeye: Movies are always better without dogs, but if they must have a dog, they are better if it dies.


You are a soulless excuse for a human, and I would euthanize you manually before I would mistreat a dog.

Good....day......sir!


/troll fed
 
2013-09-14 01:29:04 AM  
i remember when i first saw the movie the enemy of the state, the part that stood out the most was then the bad guys kill the senator or whoever he is, and then they show the dog barking frantically as they let the car roll into the lake.  i just remember thinking, "that dog just watched his owner die and he can't do anything to save him!  that poor dog!"
 
2013-09-14 01:36:35 AM  
So cat oil is okay.
 
2013-09-14 02:12:12 AM  
Were there any dogs in Cannibal Holocaust?
 
2013-09-14 02:44:21 AM  
This dog movie (an obscure Japanese '80s flick) would make break the website. It's the canine version of Alive.

Beautiful movie though, and Vangelis makes it better.
 
2013-09-14 02:45:25 AM  
 
2013-09-14 03:19:44 AM  

freetomato: theunblinkingeye: Movies are always better without dogs, but if they must have a dog, they are better if it dies.

You are a soulless excuse for a human, and I would euthanize you manually before I would mistreat a dog.

Good....day......sir!


/troll fed


Troll or cat person.
 
2013-09-14 04:02:57 AM  
A website posts a link to another website with two sentences describing it, calling what it has written an "article"

[sick tag.jpg]
 
2013-09-14 04:04:53 AM  

Paris1127: Casino Royale (2006)

One scene features a fight between a cobra and what is supposed to be a mongoose but is actually a ferret. They snap at each other a bit but the fight is interrupted so we don't see either of them significantly harmed. A horse briefly appears in a beach scene.

I bet the poor thing was traumatized...


aswedetalksmovies.files.wordpress.com

I would be.  "You mean I'll never be human and will never get to do that chick?  F*CK."
 
2013-09-14 05:38:22 AM  
Does the film get points if the guy who killed the dog ends up getting the top half of his head decapitated and then tossed into a box to preserve it?
 
2013-09-14 10:02:20 AM  
i40.tinypic.com

I'm thinking the bear had to take dump and needed something to wipe his ass with.
 
2013-09-14 10:18:10 AM  
Relevant:

img.photobucket.com

A bit of a sleeper - I think it's better than it gets credit for.
 
2013-09-14 10:21:13 AM  
SO, when I checked the website to make sure they hadn't missed the ultimate horrific dogs-dying scene (John Carpenter's The Thing), I saw they did include include it, but I also noticed that they think the original Howard Hawks The Thing from Another World came out 151 years too early...
 
2013-09-14 10:22:24 AM  
...and apparently I haven't had enough coffee today. Boy, did I ever mangle that post.
 
2013-09-14 10:26:15 AM  

Mentat: The first rule of disaster movies is that you can kill 5 billion people but you can't kill the dog.


Good to know: if you find yourself in a natural disaster, grab a dog and run. It'll work better if the dog is a puppy. Take the mother and her whole litter. You might need some for friends. Also, until the puppies are weaned, you'll be safe from monsters, men with guns, etc.
 
2013-09-14 10:27:15 AM  
I'm glad to see the website, Does the Dog Die, which covers whether or not any dogs were harmed or killed in the movie covered this topic:

"The Princess Diaries (2001)  The main character's cat, Fat Louie, comes to no harm in the film."
 
2013-09-14 10:28:18 AM  

doglover: Mugato: Is it true that in the recut version it's an ox that the alien bursts out of and not a dog? The alien looks and moves like a dog, that's the point. And what's a prison planet doing with an ox?

What's a prison planet doing with a dog? Oxen are food and labor. Dogs are a privilege.


Prison farms.

A lot of prisons have their own farms to lower the cost of food and to give the prisoners some work and exercise. Oxen are generally used to pull carts and plows where horses are not available or too expensive. This might be the case on a prison planet. Low tech power source that reproduces itself--that's an ox.
 
2013-09-14 10:30:44 AM  

cman: Without an "ing" after "end", this headline is just a little bit less funny


Subby is British. They have "happy ends" rather than "happy endings".

Hence the quip that the British and Americans are a people divided by a common language.
 
2013-09-14 10:35:58 AM  

Cagey B: Were there any dogs in Cannibal Holocaust?


I was wondering the same thing about Delicatessen, but I can't remember. My guess is that all dogs and cats are long gone before the story starts. They might still have rats. Rats are very resilient.
 
2013-09-14 11:00:17 AM  
So it's a Capalert page but for...  Dogs?
 
2013-09-14 11:13:10 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-14 12:09:29 PM  
I remember taking my daughter to see Eight Below with Paul Walker.  When the first dog died, she crawled into my lap and stayed there for the rest of the film.
 
2013-09-14 12:37:46 PM  
I smirked at the "Up" series. Seems like every episode someone loses a dog. Probably an easy director's shtick to generate a sad moment.
 
2013-09-14 03:45:20 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-14 04:13:57 PM  
Cujo or Blade Trinity.. Cujo or Blade Trinity.. Cujo or Blade Trinity.. Fark it.
 
2013-09-14 06:05:20 PM  
So weird... A relative of mine actually refused to finish critiquing her own sister's novel because a dog died in it.  The author is also a dog person, but she felt the (fictional) dog needed to die for the (fictional) plot.  But apparently plot be damned :P

doglover:
Mugato: Is it true that in the recut version it's an ox that the alien bursts out of and not a dog? The alien looks and moves like a dog, that's the point. And what's a prison planet doing with an ox?

What's a prison planet doing with a dog? Oxen are food and labor. Dogs are a privilege.


Dogs hunt rats.  Cats do too, but prison planet rats are probably really big and mean.  Also a cat-alien would be no good for the plot, it'd spend 99% of its time napping or licking its ass, not trying to kill Ripley.
 
2013-09-14 08:49:41 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Paris1127: Casino Royale (2006)

One scene features a fight between a cobra and what is supposed to be a mongoose but is actually a ferret. They snap at each other a bit but the fight is interrupted so we don't see either of them significantly harmed. A horse briefly appears in a beach scene.

I bet the poor thing was traumatized...

[aswedetalksmovies.files.wordpress.com image 333x500]

I would be.  "You mean I'll never be human and will never get to do that chick?  F*CK."


Im sure if you offered enough money, there are sites that cater to that kind of pairing. >.>
 
2013-09-14 10:04:50 PM  
A dog movie website that would fail Lassie?

That's like, a double fail right there.
 
2013-09-15 12:12:11 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
caused the server to explode.

<urbanlegend> Milo & Otis was filmed in a country with no laws regarding the treatment of animals.  They had scores of look-alike dogs & cats on standby.  When you see a scene where it doesn't look like special effects and you can't figure out how the animals could have survived that stunt?  Guess what?  You're basically watching "Faces of Death" for pugs and orange tabbies.  </urbanlegend>
 
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