If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WTOP)   Want to date a real woman, but worried that your piles of video games will be a turnoff to all but the most slovenly options? No worries, Padawan: Just create fake book covers for them, and let her think you're an intellectual reader   (wtop.com) divider line 131
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

9800 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Sep 2013 at 2:32 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-09-13 01:01:37 PM
"Real" women don't like video games?
 
2013-09-13 01:10:18 PM
What happens when she's curious about these volumes of plastic-cased books lining your shelf -- all of which appear to be exactly the same height and have no more than 75 pages -- and picks one up to page through it?
 
2013-09-13 01:17:42 PM

Pocket Ninja: What happens when she's curious about these volumes of plastic-cased books lining your shelf -- all of which appear to be exactly the same height and have no more than 75 pages -- and picks one up to page through it?


Tell her that "AWESOME SQUAD 6: TEAM KILLTEAM" has all the emotional depth and timeless resonance of Hemingway or Faulkner, but you also get to blow away bad guys for like three hours
 
2013-09-13 01:25:41 PM
I hate to break this to folks, but a fair amount of gamers ARE readers too.
 
2013-09-13 01:33:42 PM
Yeah, because I don't want a woman to know I play video games, but I do want her to think I read books that are base on those games.
 
2013-09-13 01:59:11 PM
Or date women who actually respect or even share your hobby.
 
2013-09-13 02:01:39 PM
How can she see my bookshelves from down in the pit?
 
2013-09-13 02:14:25 PM
Step One: Buy real books that are actually real and good.
Step Two: Take games from their disc case and put them in between pages of real books
Step Three: Don't buy stupid shiat.
 
2013-09-13 02:24:14 PM
Wouldn't work. The first thing I do when I meet a person is start looking at their bookshelf.

Besides, I just chalk up gaming as a "guy thing" and something that I neither know about or understand--but it's not something I need to make a judgement about either. It's like a guy deciding that I'm not worth it because I insist that the pillowcases match the sheets or something.

/They don't. What could it mean??
 
2013-09-13 02:34:48 PM
New solution: don't date stupid twats.
 
2013-09-13 02:36:09 PM
Wait. WAIT. $6 for covers any schlub can create themselves? In a few minutes? And then re-use the template? I'm in the wrong freakin' business!
 
2013-09-13 02:36:12 PM
This thread sponsored by Damien Sandow.

/you're welcome
 
2013-09-13 02:36:12 PM
Put the games in a DVD binder.
 
2013-09-13 02:36:28 PM
If they see the "Command Center" then it tells me that the chloroform was too weak.
 
2013-09-13 02:36:42 PM

RedPhoenix122: Or date women who actually respect or even share your hobby.


Why that would just make far too much sense.

Besides half the basement dwellers here only attract controlling women and will grovel to them for sex.
 
2013-09-13 02:37:20 PM
Why would you want to be with someone who hates what your about?
 
2013-09-13 02:37:27 PM
What a real woman might look like:

cdn3c.empirestores.org
 
2013-09-13 02:38:03 PM

cryinoutloud: Wouldn't work. The first thing I do when I meet a person is start looking at their bookshelf.


Same here!
A robust video game library doesn't hurt either. Dudes who don't read or don't play vidja gamez are not the dudes for me.
 
2013-09-13 02:38:14 PM
I'd be more worried about the RC boat in the kitchen sink (waterproofing testing!) and the quadcopter in the living room (kitty torture!).
 
2013-09-13 02:39:34 PM
Because that's what every relationship should start out on: a big, ugly pack of lies.

Date a woman with similar interests.  Is that so hard?
 
2013-09-13 02:40:21 PM

Pocket Ninja: What happens when she's curious about these volumes of plastic-cased books lining your shelf -- all of which appear to be exactly the same height and have no more than 75 pages -- and picks one up to page through it?


Don't you see? real women do not like video games, nor do they like actually reading books. They just like to think they're with a man that reads.
 
2013-09-13 02:40:49 PM
fark that... I want the girl to see my video games and go "Ooooh!  Can we play after I blow you?"
 
2013-09-13 02:41:20 PM
Computerized realities exist only inside the moment that lets your fingers dance inside the molten future of your disappointments.
Women know this, even the gamer ones.
I had one (or she had me) that played Space Channel 5 and the first Katamari realities. I played Ico and the first few Ratchet & Clank realities. We both knew it was all molten though.
 
2013-09-13 02:41:41 PM

stpauler: Step One: Buy real books that are actually real and good.
Step Two: Take games from their disc case and put them in between pages of real books
Step Three: Don't buy stupid shiat.


Step Four:  "The disc in drive D: is unreadable"
 
2013-09-13 02:41:58 PM

Pocket Ninja: What happens when she's curious about these volumes of plastic-cased books lining your shelf -- all of which appear to be exactly the same height and have no more than 75 pages -- and picks one up to page through it?


When she opens it and sees the disk, just say they're audio books...
 
2013-09-13 02:43:52 PM
Generally speaking, I prefer to date adults, defined here as, "People who aren't obnoxiously judgmental about other people's hobbies, interests, and tastes," particularly when it comes to things as mundane as gaming/media consumption.
 
2013-09-13 02:45:47 PM
Hmmm...my comment was a little harsh (can you tell I've been burnt by a liar before...?)

Replace "lies" with "misrepresentation based on accustomed object covering recognition, color sequence & placement".
 
2013-09-13 02:46:21 PM

hubiestubert: I hate to break this to folks, but a fair amount of gamers ARE readers too.


Shhh... I don't want people knowing i'm into books.
 
2013-09-13 02:47:11 PM
These are my games. As you can see, I am quite the connoisseur. Please note that every game is in its original case and arranged according to genre. If I break a case carelessly, I contact the original manufacturer for an exact replacement. No AOL CD cases here.

Oh I find some games quite engrossing just on their story line. Here. The original Call of Duty. It puts one right in the midst of World War II. The Soviet storyline is exceptionally engrossing with an ending that will bring a tear to your eye. You'll have to play it in order to truly understand the breadth of it.

Now Dead or Alive Bikini Beach Volleyball is a simple study in rendering the female body. The technology was there but if you played it, you would see we have a long way to go before the female form is adequately represented. At least, they're aren't rendered a la Tomb Raider One, no?

So, that's the game room. I'm assuming you haven't dropped your panties at this point only because you aren't wearing any.
 
2013-09-13 02:47:14 PM

stonicus: fark that... I want the girl to see my video games and go "Ooooh! Can we play after I blow you?"


img.fark.net
 
2013-09-13 02:47:46 PM

stonicus: fark that... I want the girl to see my video games and go "Ooooh!  Can we play after I blow you?"


Uh, why not both at the same time?
 
2013-09-13 02:49:30 PM
I doubt the Girls Of Public School™ care about books ...
 
2013-09-13 02:50:28 PM

SordidEuphemism: Wait. WAIT. $6 for covers any schlub can create themselves? In a few minutes? And then re-use the template? I'm in the wrong freakin' business!


Someone who's dumb enough to put book covers on their video games and think it'll help is probably also dumb enough to pay $6 for a PDF of a book cover.
 
2013-09-13 02:52:16 PM
If you're dating a woman and feel the need to do this, maybe you're dating the wrong woman.

/gamer
 
2013-09-13 02:53:09 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: What a real woman might look like:

[cdn3c.empirestores.org image 500x500]


I concur.

Inflatable You by Tim Minchin
 
2013-09-13 02:53:17 PM
They still don't look like books. Audio books maybe, but who the dark collects audio books?

/ if she can't deal with your collection, she'll probably turn out to be a count anyway
 
2013-09-13 02:53:24 PM
As a female friend of mine who got around a lot said to me with a roll of her eyes, "Guys always have stupid hobbies".

Whether its brewing beer in the garage, watching ESPN every waking hour when not working or playing video games... whatever.  Unless your hobby involves hurting other people, what the hell does it matter?
 
2013-09-13 02:54:21 PM

YoOjo: Computerized realities exist only inside the moment that lets your fingers dance inside the molten future of your disappointments.
Women know this, even the gamer ones.
I had one (or she had me) that played Space Channel 5 and the first Katamari realities. I played Ico and the first few Ratchet & Clank realities. We both knew it was all molten though.


Can I buy drugs from you?
 
2013-09-13 02:54:57 PM
I think seeing games (or anything) in disorderly piles in your living room shows you're an immature man-child project that experienced independent women would think twice about before getting into a relationship with you.

Women don't mind men with hobbies and interests different than theirs. They mind if you're a slob. Or if you can't balance your hobbies with the rest of your life.

My games(*) are behind a cabinet door, I don't want to look at them when I'm on the couch or whatever, and a neat uncluttered room is more relaxing to be in anyway.

(*)technically, all of the console games... I don't think I've bought a "physical" game in years. Lately they're all Steam, Facebook and iPhone games.
 
2013-09-13 02:57:36 PM
Real women have two X chromosomes.
 
2013-09-13 02:58:02 PM
Don't forget to dress up your real doll and put a lampshade over her head. Then she will just be a lamp.
 
2013-09-13 02:59:38 PM
This douche deserves the kind of women he dates.
 
2013-09-13 03:00:47 PM
The Last of Us was an engrossing, introspective exploration of parent-child relationships, loneliness and insecurity, complex moral dilemmas, etc. Anyone who thumbs their noses at good storytelling because of the medium is probably not a person you'd want to date anyway.
 
2013-09-13 03:00:55 PM
I just whip out my Atari cassette and woman go wild.
 
2013-09-13 03:01:28 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: How can she see my bookshelves from down in the pit?


This.
 
2013-09-13 03:02:31 PM

jdredd: stonicus: fark that... I want the girl to see my video games and go "Ooooh!  Can we play after I blow you?"

Uh, why not both at the same time?


Cuz then she biatches "You only won cuz I had jizz in my eye!"  Tired of their excuses!!!
 
2013-09-13 03:03:07 PM
Also, all my PC software (not just games) are stored in binders. Saves a ton of space, and honestly the original packaging is never useful. Remember to keep the serial # with it, though, if it needs it.

www.ergmusic.com
 
2013-09-13 03:03:09 PM

SirEattonHogg: As a female friend of mine who got around a lot said to me with a roll of her eyes, "Guys always have stupid hobbies".


She doesn't need stupid hobbies, because she has her seven cats to keep her from getting bored and lonely.
 
2013-09-13 03:04:26 PM

Inchoate: YoOjo: Computerized realities exist only inside the moment that lets your fingers dance inside the molten future of your disappointments.
Women know this, even the gamer ones.
I had one (or she had me) that played Space Channel 5 and the first Katamari realities. I played Ico and the first few Ratchet & Clank realities. We both knew it was all molten though.

Can I buy drugs from you?


I'm not trustworthy or interesting enough to sell my drugs.
I used to have quite a lot of good moments with plants, they should be for sale in your area.
These days, following a mammoth five year weekend on benzos, I prefer to only have moments with plants, these too should be on sale in your area.
Anyway, women and games - like sugar and fat - good for a mind but unholy havoc of true chaos for the body.
 
2013-09-13 03:05:03 PM
Jesus Christ on a stick.  If the woman has agreed to come home with you she's already decided if you're gonna bone or not.  Unless you're doing a first date "dinner at my place" or some crap like that.

Playing video games with a woman is not my idea of romantic.  Maybe only if ya slap some Amarige by Givenchy on her neck and light up a few candles. Then maybe.

I'd rather play some music and fondle your book shelves.

/yeah it's been 2 weeks, shut up.
 
Displayed 50 of 131 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report