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(Phoenix New Times)   Sorry about that whole bloody-diarrhea thing. How about a free burrito?   (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com) divider line 84
    More: Asinine, E. coli O157, e. coli outbreak, diarrhea  
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10609 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2013 at 3:29 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-12 02:07:46 PM
Sorry, Making Runs For The Border cannot be used as your new slogan.`
 
2013-09-12 03:12:35 PM
The only thing that disturbs me about this article is that it reminded me that I actually own a copy of  Talking Dirty With The Queen of Clean.

She's the woman featured in the ad.  Sadly the book wasn't the erotic bombshell I was hoping for but rather offered advice on how to remove stains with common household materials.  Actually it came in handy later but I don't want to talk about it.
 
2013-09-12 03:31:35 PM
Fool me twice, shame on me.
 
2013-09-12 03:31:36 PM
Shiat yeah!
 
2013-09-12 03:33:10 PM
Chipotlaway?
 
2013-09-12 03:33:36 PM
 
2013-09-12 03:34:19 PM
Federaeces restaurant
 
2013-09-12 03:34:49 PM
www.eatmedaily.com
 
2013-09-12 03:37:07 PM
How about no.
 
2013-09-12 03:37:43 PM
I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle, but if any other eating establishment gets in on the act, we go ballistic.
 
2013-09-12 03:38:33 PM
cdn.firstwefeast.com
 
hej
2013-09-12 03:39:34 PM
So they're going to compensate victims with more bloody-diarrhea?
 
2013-09-12 03:40:18 PM

hej: So they're going to compensate victims with more bloody-diarrhea?


That's the joke.
 
2013-09-12 03:40:55 PM
+1 for the asinine tag
 
2013-09-12 03:40:59 PM
Has anyone done a GIS for bloody-diarrhea.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-09-12 03:41:43 PM
Sorry about that whole bloody-diarrhea thing. How about a free burrito?
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-12 03:43:21 PM
Chipotle.... lawsuit.... bloody undies.. theres a joke in there... I'm to busy listening to the new Sabbath album 13 to try.
 
2013-09-12 03:44:08 PM

highendmighty: Chipotlaway?


Shiatpotle?
 
2013-09-12 03:45:02 PM
There was something in the air that night
That didn't sit quite right, Federico
 
2013-09-12 03:48:27 PM
 
2013-09-12 03:49:42 PM
I call it my "butt period"
 
2013-09-12 03:49:52 PM
Is this the burrito or the diarrhea?

www.federicosmexicanfood.com

Trick question! It's both!
 
2013-09-12 03:50:52 PM

Matthew Keene: I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle.


You're..........okay with that?
 
2013-09-12 03:52:36 PM
Lord. do I have to do everything here?

"I got food poisoning from a Chipotle restaurant burrito once. I remember sitting on the toilet,
gripping tight onto the seat so I wouldn't fly off from the sheer jet propulsion. Screaming
as brown cider slime erupted from my leather cheerio, offering prayers to any god or being willing
to grant me surcease or the cold final embrace of death itself. Eventually, I slipped into madness
as endless volleys of greenish viscous horror unleashed from my bowels, blasting like a hellish condemned
freight train through my excruciating tiny butt-gate. I recall with each fresh explosion of agonized
Lovecraftian goo, fresh from my flaming ass-portal I would scream "CHIPOTLEEEEEE!!!" in a tone that
was an unholy mix of mortal fear, humiliation and a deep accusatory boom.
You know, I don't even remember why I told this story. What were we talking about again?"
 
2013-09-12 03:53:16 PM

FarkingReading: Is this the burrito or the diarrhea?

[www.federicosmexicanfood.com image 850x533]

Trick question! It's both!


ew. But don't judge food by the way it looks. Best soup I ever had looked like a bowl of bird puke.
 
2013-09-12 03:53:40 PM
Their food photog sucks.
 
2013-09-12 03:53:50 PM
Drove by there last week and had to do a double-take when I saw a kid holding a sign advertising Free Food on the 16th.

The drive-through lane at Frederico's was always packed.  Any time we drove through the parking lot, my wife would usually make a comment about how gross the food must be, despite the line of customers.  Neither of us ever tried it, and good thing; she was definitely on to something.
 
2013-09-12 03:54:12 PM

brap: The only thing that disturbs me about this article is that it reminded me that I actually own a copy of  Talking Dirty With The Queen of Clean.

She's the woman featured in the ad.  Sadly the book wasn't the erotic bombshell I was hoping for but rather offered advice on how to remove stains with common household materials.  Actually it came in handy later but I don't want to talk about it.


I'm not sure how a reporter from the New Times isn't familiar with here. She's been on TV around these parts for +15 years....
 
2013-09-12 03:54:19 PM
Do I need a doctor's note as proof or will a sample of the bloody diarrhea be redeemable for the free burrito?
 
2013-09-12 03:55:40 PM
Eat half the burrito and stuff the other half up your tooter like a tampon.
 
2013-09-12 03:56:09 PM
Wouldn't you be just a little hesitant about eating at a place called Federico's?
focusfeaturesmedia.com
 
2013-09-12 03:56:43 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-09-12 03:57:08 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Matthew Keene: I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle.

You're..........okay with that?


You are usually intoxicated, and you accept that unrelenting diarrhea will result. So yes, you accept it. With White Castle, I like seeing the little caramelized onions in your poop.
 
2013-09-12 04:02:28 PM

Maud Dib: [www.eatmedaily.com image 540x201]




Came for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-09-12 04:03:14 PM

vudukungfu: Their food photog sucks.



I think I place more blame on their food prep/quality than on the photog.

If you're given a piece of shiat to photograph, it's not going to look like filet mignon.
 
2013-09-12 04:03:59 PM
It is a known fact that over 99% of people who eat at Taco Bell and/or Chipotle experience copious bloody diarrhea on a regular basis.
 
2013-09-12 04:05:29 PM
img5.joyreactor.com
 
2013-09-12 04:06:29 PM

Matthew Keene: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Matthew Keene: I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle.

You're..........okay with that?

You are usually intoxicated, and you accept that unrelenting diarrhea will result. So yes, you accept it. With White Castle, I like seeing the little caramelized onions in your poop.


O_O
 
Al!
2013-09-12 04:07:44 PM

Matthew Keene: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Matthew Keene: I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle.

You're..........okay with that?

You are usually intoxicated, and you accept that unrelenting diarrhea will result. So yes, you accept it. With White Castle, I like seeing the little caramelized onions in your poop.


QUIT LOOKING AT MY POOP!
 
Al!
2013-09-12 04:09:08 PM
I want your skull:
O_O

Curses!  Foiled again!

/took 90 seconds too long reading the thread...
 
2013-09-12 04:11:23 PM

Al!: I want your skull:
O_O

Curses!  Foiled again!

/took 90 seconds too long reading the thread...


i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-12 04:12:35 PM
Matthew Keene: I like seeing the little caramelized onions in your poop.


Why are you looking at my poop?
 
2013-09-12 04:12:48 PM
lol gringos trying to make real Mexican food.
 
2013-09-12 04:15:10 PM

Al!: I want your skull:
O_O

Curses!  Foiled again!

/took 90 seconds too long reading the thread...


crap.  I was 5 minutes late.
 
2013-09-12 04:16:53 PM
It could have reopened quietly, hoping that people would eventually forget, or do that. A restaurant is kind of limited in the kind of things it can do to re-acquire its clientele.
 
2013-09-12 04:17:26 PM
Why do I get the weird feeling somebody is looking at my poop?

HEY!
 
2013-09-12 04:19:53 PM
This is important.  What kind of burrito?
 
2013-09-12 04:23:22 PM
"COME BACK ON US!"

Gee, that's just what that burrito did on me.
 
2013-09-12 04:27:56 PM

FarkingReading: I think I place more blame on their food prep/quality than on the photog.


agreed, it's just that the colors look  like out of the 1970s.
Sun faded.

But I stay away from already chewed food as a rule.
Too many surfactant areas that bacteria can land/breed on.
 
2013-09-12 04:29:04 PM
Filiberto's is still okay though, right?

/already know the answer
//"as long as there hasn't been an ICE raid recently"
///slashies come in threes
 
2013-09-12 04:30:25 PM

Ambitwistor: Fool me twice, shame on me.


This statement is so much win
 
2013-09-12 04:43:42 PM
isn't this how it is rated?
 
2013-09-12 04:44:44 PM

Matthew Keene: I love how we are willing to accept a case of the squirts from Taco Bell or White Castle, but if any other eating establishment gets in on the act, we go ballistic.


a) If you eat there and it gives you the squirts AND THEN YOU GO BACK, you are an idiot.

b) Blood changes things. No blood = ew; blood = OMGWTFBBQ
 
2013-09-12 04:53:17 PM
I live in Phoenix, and only heard of this place when they started to make people sick.  There are plenty of places on my side of town that I can get bloody diarrhea at, why bother with the drive.

Also, I would kill myself if I had to be in the same room with that "Queen of Clean" biatch.
 
2013-09-12 04:56:09 PM
That restaurant location voluntarily closed but will be serving free burritos for Mexican Independence Day, which is on Monday.

Yeah. Because what says American like bloody explosive power dumps in honor of Mexico.

If I want to celebrate Mexican Independence, I'll go down to Nogo and haggle a hooker down to half her price. A real woman hooker too.
 
2013-09-12 04:59:20 PM
Never heard of this place.......apparently I should consider myself fortunate.
 
2013-09-12 04:59:31 PM
Jument:
b) Blood changes things. No blood = ew; blood = OMGWTFBBQ

I'm a businessman; blood is a big expense.
a.onionstatic.com
 
2013-09-12 05:01:52 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: It is a known fact that over 99% of people who eat at Taco Bell and/or Chipotle experience copious bloody diarrhea on a regular basis.



I never have any issues with Chipotle, but usually do with Taco Bell.  Maybe it's each establishment's cooking practices rather than the menu items?
 
2013-09-12 05:04:10 PM
Noooooooooooooope.

/Lana
 
2013-09-12 05:05:22 PM

Infobahn: There are plenty of places on my side of town that I can get bloody diarrhea at, why bother with the drive.


never been to this place but....i called the Health Department about an ill-fated Sweet Tomatoes trip.  every thing was fine until about 30 minutes later, when we were going down I-10 and like a thunderbolt, my insides began ripping themeselves to ribbons. i remember getting off at Baseline (only extraneous detail as you may know the area), getting back on I-10, praying i'd get home in time.  i literally was in fear I'd....you know...."make" on myself and my car.

avoiding too much detail, i made it home but barely. a nd i was not farking happy.  i made the complaint, and a few weeks alter i got a letter from the health board or whatever saying they investigated and cleared the complaint.

i didn't go back for years, i was so mad at them.  THEY DID STUFF TO ME.
 
2013-09-12 05:06:36 PM
TheShavingofOccam123:

Yeah. Because what says American like bloody explosive power dumps in honor of Mexico.

Uh...kind of...

img.photobucket.com
/oh POWER...not POWDER
 
2013-09-12 05:09:45 PM
fitterlondon.co.uk
 
2013-09-12 05:11:47 PM

FarkingReading: Is this the burrito or the diarrhea?

[www.federicosmexicanfood.com image 850x533]

Trick question! It's both!


wow.....that looks like a cadaver used in cadaver dissection.
 
2013-09-12 05:12:55 PM
I've always just accepted bloody diarrhoea as part of the Mexican food experience. I thought everybody did.
 
2013-09-12 05:15:38 PM

Mambo Bananapatch: I've always just accepted bloody diarrhoea as part of the Mexican food experience. I thought everybody did.


^This^

I also have another American food nemesis...

www.longislandpress.com

Love the food, but for me, like shiat through a goose.
 
2013-09-12 05:15:58 PM

Mambo Bananapatch: I've always just accepted bloody diarrhoea as part of the Mexican food experience. I thought everybody did.


Only when the food's REALLY good.  So good you just don't care about the after-effects.

Man I miss food that good.
 
2013-09-12 05:16:01 PM

MBooda: TheShavingofOccam123:

Yeah. Because what says American like bloody explosive power dumps in honor of Mexico.

Uh...kind of...

[img.photobucket.com image 800x450]
/oh POWER...not POWDER


"Be silent friend here heroes pooped..."
 
2013-09-12 05:28:42 PM
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-12 05:29:36 PM

rickythepenguin: Sweet Tomatoes


I hear you on that place.  There is one off of Indian Bend I avoid now.

I used to have issues at Outback Steakhouse of the same type you were having.  It ends up, I have a sensitivity to Gluten, and those tasty loaves of bread they serve you have more Gluten than I can handle.  Now I pass on the bread, and don't have to worry about premature evacuations.
 
2013-09-12 05:39:13 PM
her boobs look bigger in the advert than in the video. too bad.
 
2013-09-12 05:43:03 PM

Infobahn: I used to have issues at Outback Steakhouse of the same type you were having.


i rarely have "issues".  but i had an issue of a different sort at an Outback, as i found a coarse and curly hair in the little butter or sauce metal mini-bowl thingie.  i called the manager over and he was like, "uh, yeah man, sorry about that, i'll get a new one for you".  i'm like, "that's missing the point, the new sauce isnt the issue, the issue is there was a hair on my plate."

they made a new order for me but that was it.  i thought they'd comp us something - and i was mad but i wasn't trying to make a scene - but instead i just had to wait another,w hatever, 12-15 minutes to get my order.  haven't been back since.  outback sucks ass anyways.
 
2013-09-12 05:47:23 PM

rickythepenguin: outback sucks ass anyways.


And spit the ass hair out into the food.
 
2013-09-12 05:47:25 PM
Fark bleach, how about fire?
 
2013-09-12 05:53:25 PM

rickythepenguin: outback sucks ass anyways.


I am okay with it, as I can take the kid (who is an angel, BTW, really) and know that no one will blink.  I dine out for business enough that I get a shot at a real steak meal at least twice a month.

/LDL 62, BIATCHES!
 
2013-09-12 06:13:46 PM
Come for our famous #2 Combo!
 
2013-09-12 06:28:49 PM
You know what Indian food does to people with sensitive innards?
s11.postimg.org
 
2013-09-12 06:36:55 PM
Say what you will, but French soldiers getting cholera and dysentery played no small part in winning Mexico her independence.
 
2013-09-12 08:36:09 PM
scontent-b-sea.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-09-12 09:20:55 PM

FarkingReading: Is this the burrito or the diarrhea?

[www.federicosmexicanfood.com image 850x533]

Trick question! It's both!


FTFP: "...has won accolades from Arizona to New Mexico"

Those states are right beside each other.
 
2013-09-12 09:51:19 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-12 10:58:33 PM

darth_badger: [fitterlondon.co.uk image 350x456]


Bristol Stool Scale

Mine are like number six, but long and stringy.  What do?
 
2013-09-12 11:58:42 PM

ski9600: darth_badger: [fitterlondon.co.uk image 350x456]

Bristol Stool Scale

Mine are like number six, but long and stringy.  What do?


How can it be mushy and long and stringy? Stringy suggests fecal coherence that would seem to preclude mushy.
 
2013-09-13 07:19:53 AM

ski9600: darth_badger: [fitterlondon.co.uk image 350x456]

Bristol Stool Scale

Mine are like number six, but long and stringy.  What do?


Get some baby wipes and keep on poopin'.
 
2013-09-13 07:31:33 AM
"She created a video explaining how she bleached the shiat out of everything in the restaurant, so everything should be good now."

So if she got all the s*** out of EVERYTHING, what are they going to fill the burritos with now?
 
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