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(BBC)   Man jailed for sex with goat. I kid you not   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 82
    More: Sick, Devizes, victim impact statements, goats  
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5156 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2013 at 12:50 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-12 12:26:40 PM
"Anna Humphreys, prosecuting, read a victim impact statement on behalf of the goat"

That may not be the full sentence, but it's a better sentence
 
2013-09-12 12:35:31 PM
Nahahahhhh.
 
2013-09-12 12:44:10 PM
Baa mean Baa, mister!
 
2013-09-12 12:48:54 PM
I blame the goat. It obviously was dressed up like a whore.
 
2013-09-12 12:52:05 PM
So he'll never be "Robert the fence-builder".
 
2013-09-12 12:52:06 PM
Kinky Kelly?
 
2013-09-12 12:52:57 PM
files.myopera.com
 
2013-09-12 12:53:30 PM
[iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg], subby.
 
2013-09-12 12:53:33 PM
I read that as ghost, not goat.
 
2013-09-12 12:53:40 PM
That'll be some exotic cheese.
 
2013-09-12 12:53:52 PM
Nice, subby. Paar for the course.
 
2013-09-12 12:54:45 PM
Goat thread!
 
2013-09-12 12:54:49 PM
yummy
 
2013-09-12 12:55:50 PM
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
 
2013-09-12 12:56:03 PM
doblelol.com
 
2013-09-12 12:57:47 PM
Uh oh, be on the look out for these:
www.dotd.com
/Kids today
 
2013-09-12 12:59:24 PM
Doesn't matter, he'll always have ewe.
 
2013-09-12 01:00:40 PM
Will this break the Cubs curse?
 
2013-09-12 01:01:27 PM
Was that baa-aa-aaa-aa-d?  Should he not have done that?
 
2013-09-12 01:01:49 PM

I_Am_Weasel: "Anna Humphreys, prosecuting, read a victim impact statement on behalf of the goat"

That may not be the full sentence, but it's a better sentence


"Baaaa BAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAA BAAAAAA AAAAAA BAAAAAA. EEEKKKAAAAA. BAAAAA!"

Powerful stuff.
 
2013-09-12 01:02:35 PM
Just use the "I saw it on Broadway West End theatre" defense

www.newyorktheatreguide.com
 
2013-09-12 01:03:10 PM
again?
 
2013-09-12 01:04:11 PM
Aberforth?
 
2013-09-12 01:06:08 PM
Nanny state?
 
2013-09-12 01:07:32 PM
Call me crazy, but i figure one's own hand would've been preferable.
 
2013-09-12 01:07:36 PM

I_Am_Weasel: "Anna Humphreys, prosecuting, read a victim impact statement on behalf of the goat"

That may not be the full sentence, but it's a better sentence


Let it never been said that there is not progress. 500 years ago in England they put farm animals, including goats, on trial for witchcraft, devil possession, etc. Today, we read victim impact statements in court on behalf of the goat. Is turnabout fair play, even if it happens 500 years later??
 
2013-09-12 01:07:38 PM
TIME FOR KIDDIE PRONjensfunnyfarm.com
/dawwwww
 
2013-09-12 01:07:58 PM
This gruff headline is just trolling.
 
2013-09-12 01:08:32 PM
"Thanks, Smokey!"

(on Vimeo)

/woof
 
2013-09-12 01:10:45 PM
Screw one goat and you're the butt of jokes for the rest of your life.
 
2013-09-12 01:11:10 PM
I thought Federer was the GOAT. Hmm ...
 
2013-09-12 01:14:43 PM

uber humper: Just use the "I saw it on Broadway West End theatre" defense

[www.newyorktheatreguide.com image 228x377]


BEASTIO LEVIOSO
 
2013-09-12 01:15:46 PM
If you are going to kill a goat and eat it what difference does it make if you have sex with it first?

Why not combine both? Death by Ruru!
 
2013-09-12 01:16:04 PM
FTA: "At the time of the assault Newman was the subject of an eight week suspended sentence for a burglary in August last year. "

He did not want to be known as Newman the burglar.
 
2013-09-12 01:16:12 PM
www.wcsh6.comi'll be getting over the fence without the help next time
 
2013-09-12 01:17:36 PM
i2.listal.com

Also kids you not.
 
2013-09-12 01:17:41 PM
 
2013-09-12 01:19:29 PM
Your headline is baaaaaaaaad and you should feel baaaaaaaad
 
2013-09-12 01:21:58 PM

super_grass: [jensfunnyfarm.com image 850x637]/dawwwww


Why can't I hold all these goats?
 
2013-09-12 01:22:37 PM
Was he next to a cliff?
 
2013-09-12 01:23:19 PM
Poor fellow and his capricious judgement.
 
2013-09-12 01:26:22 PM
amorphousintelligence.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-12 01:26:50 PM
So, this was from isolation instead of depravity, huh?

How isolated do you have to be before farking a goat seems like a good idea?
 
2013-09-12 01:28:48 PM
i959.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-12 01:29:33 PM
If we were not meant to have sex with goats, why did God make them so damn cute?
 
2013-09-12 01:31:03 PM
i988.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-12 01:37:48 PM

Coconice: So, this was from isolation instead of depravity, huh?

How isolated do you have to be before farking a goat seems like a good idea?


10-15 minutes. Maybe less.
 
2013-09-12 01:40:41 PM

Cybernetic: So he'll never be "Robert the fence-builder".


Came here for this, leaving satisfied..

/build a thousand bridges...
 
2013-09-12 01:43:53 PM
Would you, could you, with a goat?

I would not, could not with a goat!
 
2013-09-12 01:45:26 PM
I don't know much about goats, but don't EVAR screw a pig....

/they'll squeal on ya
 
2013-09-12 01:47:35 PM
*golf clap*
 
2013-09-12 01:47:51 PM

super_grass: TIME FOR KIDDIE PRON[jensfunnyfarm.com image 850x637]/dawwwww


MODS ARE ASLEEP POST KP
 
2013-09-12 01:49:32 PM
Subby, that's so baaaaaaad.
 
2013-09-12 02:01:44 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: uber humper: Just use the "I saw it on Broadway West End theatre" defense

[www.newyorktheatreguide.com image 228x377]

BEASTIO LEVIOSO


Funny!
 
2013-09-12 02:04:25 PM

numbone: Screw one goat and you're the butt of jokes for the rest of your life.


It's mostly the "YOU FARKED A -GOAT-!!!!" thing.

/Past screwing the pooch
//and banging a sheep
///there's goat-farking
 
2013-09-12 02:04:54 PM
goats on a trampoline ?

YES PLEASE
 
2013-09-12 02:06:07 PM
...its tough to find a good goat like that.
 
2013-09-12 02:14:17 PM

megarian: Was he next to a cliff?


Ibex he was!
 
2013-09-12 02:18:30 PM
We had a kid in school that had sex with a goat.  And by sex with a goat I mean he put 4 long skinny boots on it, tied them with rope so the goat couldn't bend the knees, put lipstick on the goat's mouth, put a bra on the teats, tied it to a plow and went at it.

Did Carl really have sex with a goat?  I seriously doubt it.  Where do you buy a bra and boots for a goat?  But funny how some kid in 5th grade can claim he saw Carl do it and it stuck with poor Carl all through school.  Not sure where Carl is today 35 years later.  Probably in the same support group as Fudge.  The kid that accidentally yet epically sharted in class and was forever renamed.

I'd like to take this opportunity to publically apologize to Pubic Head.  We didn't have a lot of curly hair people and this one dude had really tight curls.  I called him pubic head and it stuck.  I apologized the next day but it was too late.
 
2013-09-12 02:20:05 PM
Billie Goat is not my lover
She's just a goat who claims that I am the one
But the Kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but that Kid is not my son
 
2013-09-12 02:22:23 PM

worlddan: I_Am_Weasel: "Anna Humphreys, prosecuting, read a victim impact statement on behalf of the goat"

That may not be the full sentence, but it's a better sentence

Let it never been said that there is not progress. 500 years ago in England they put farm animals, including goats, on trial for witchcraft, devil possession, etc. Today, we read victim impact statements in court on behalf of the goat. Is turnabout fair play, even if it happens 500 years later??


500 years ago the animal would be hung, in these cases.  Baa did cut it as an alibi.
 
2013-09-12 02:27:15 PM

worlddan: Let it never been said that there is not progress. 500 years ago in England they put farm animals, including goats, on trial for witchcraft, devil possession, etc. Today, we read victim impact statements in court on behalf of the goat. Is turnabout fair play, even if it happens 500 years later??


"They'll say 'aaaah Topsy' at my auuuuutopsy!"
 
2013-09-12 02:31:29 PM
img.photobucket.com

Oh, billy!
 
2013-09-12 02:32:38 PM
I agree with the sick tag!

How could they arrest someone for having goat sex? Sick policemen not allowing nature to occur as it should!

Next they will tell me its wrong to rub peanut butter on Mr. Happy and have the dogs lick it off.
 
2013-09-12 02:39:45 PM

Okieboy: I don't know much about goats, but don't EVAR screw a pig....

/they'll squeal on ya


only if you do it right
 
2013-09-12 02:40:01 PM
Sounds like he was left to his own Devizes.
 
2013-09-12 03:03:39 PM
That goat was 1 day away from retirement... what a shame.
 
2013-09-12 03:08:16 PM
Someone think of the kids!
 
2013-09-12 03:13:39 PM
That's my d-a-a-a-a-ddy
 
2013-09-12 03:37:05 PM
www.geekosystem.com

REVENGE
 
2013-09-12 03:43:41 PM
www.lanocheintermitente.com

Approves
 
2013-09-12 04:02:48 PM
So I'm looking through TFA's "most read" sidebar, and there's an article on the Monty Hall problem.

From that article:

Let's not get confused by the assumptions. To be clear, Monty Hall knows the location of the prize, he always opens a different door from the one you chose, and he will only open a door that does not conceal the prize.

For the purists, we also assume that you prefer Cadillacs to goats.


Heh.
 
2013-09-12 04:55:07 PM

megarian: Was he next to a cliff?


Nah, he went at it Welsh-style, with a pair of wellie boots.

btw, Farkers, I am disappoint. How have you all missed making the extremely obvious reference to goatse.cx?
 
2013-09-12 05:30:48 PM

gweilo8888: megarian: Was he next to a cliff?

Nah, he went at it Welsh-style, with a pair of wellie boots.

btw, Farkers, I am disappoint. How have you all missed making the extremely obvious reference to goatse.cx?


I think Farkers are a little goatse-shy because it's easy to get a time-out that way.

/not that I'd know
//lol goatse-shy
 
2013-09-12 05:34:21 PM

Okieboy: I don't know much about goats, but don't EVAR screw a pig....

/they'll squeal on ya


Okie? Is that ewe?
 
2013-09-12 07:54:50 PM
I am amazed this thread hasn't gotten me fired from the filtering software at work.... yikes.
 
2013-09-12 08:05:02 PM
I remember as a child I thought it was the height of hilarity to let the goats eat my shoelaces while visiting the Knott's Berry Farm petting zoo. I also thought the piano playing chicken was super radical too.

Mom ... not so much.
 
2013-09-12 08:53:33 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-12 09:00:01 PM
www.thesharkguys.com
 
2013-09-12 09:51:03 PM

megarian: I think Farkers are a little goatse-shy because it's easy to get a time-out that way.

/not that I'd know
//lol goatse-shy


Well I'm just the kind of daredevil who could get away with goatse and wellie-boot sheep shagging all in one post. Hopefully.

/wait, that came out wrong
 
2013-09-13 12:28:14 AM
Taylor Swift inconsolable.

(Skip to about 1:00 if you don't want to put up with the annoying animal sounds)
 
2013-09-13 12:29:41 PM
I thought goats charged for this kind of thing... wasn't that what I learned from another thread?
 
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