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(Slate)   The latest thing people are doing wrong? Making salsa. Apparently, people don't automatically add the deliciousness that is cilantro   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, lime juice, parsley  
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5548 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2013 at 4:48 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-11 11:17:27 PM  
5 votes:
Ivory dishwashingv liquid is cheaper.
2013-09-11 11:58:07 PM  
4 votes:
Must have cilantro in salsa and guacamole. I make it myself. Tough shiat if you think cilantro tastes like soap.

Fix your genetic makeup, caveman.
2013-09-11 11:54:05 PM  
4 votes:

The wife canned me some special salsa last night.  We named it "say my name" salsa in that after eating it, I would scream her name the next morning when I pooped.

/I suggested Heisenberg salsa, but she didn't get it.
2013-09-11 11:48:02 PM  
4 votes:
The devil's evil soap weed is not necessary.
2013-09-12 10:17:43 AM  
2 votes:
But subbys, somes peoples ams allergic to cilantros.
2013-09-12 09:25:54 AM  
2 votes:
You know what goes great with cilantro? Agent Orange.
2013-09-12 08:56:25 AM  
2 votes:

Ed Grubermann: And for good reason. Cilantro tastes like leafy ass.
2013-09-12 05:26:54 AM  
2 votes:
And for good reason. Cilantro tastes like leafy ass.
2013-09-12 05:16:49 AM  
2 votes:

basemetal: [ image 640x480][ image 640x480][ image 640x480]

The wife canned me some special salsa last night.  We named it "say my name" salsa in that after eating it, I would scream her name the next morning when I pooped./I suggested Heisenberg salsa, but she didn't get it.

You can either know the consistency of your next shiat, or when/where you will be when it comes out, but not both?
2013-09-12 05:11:48 AM  
2 votes:
Tank degreeser tastes better than cilantro; such a foul weed.
2013-09-12 05:04:29 AM  
2 votes:
why are you filling yourself with that crap when you could be eating bacon?
2013-09-12 03:19:09 AM  
2 votes:

IBreakdance2NIN: unamused: Cilantro ain't Mexican, it's Asian.  Nobody put the crap weed in TexMex until the Californians decided to make TexMex trendy about 30 years ago.


Coriander spans from Europe and North Africa all the way to Asia. Spanish settlers brought it with them in the 1600s and it eventually became part of Mexican cuisine.

In about 1990.  It was originally Mediterranean, they fobbed it off on the Chinese in exchange for spaghetti.  San Franciscans loved it in the coolie food and decided to try it in Tex Mex.  It exists so that people who love the taste of papier-mâché can have a backup source of food if the newspaper isn't delivered.
2013-09-12 01:00:42 AM  
2 votes:
You know what? Fark cilantro.
2013-09-12 12:12:24 AM  
2 votes:

Cooking with cilantro is like rape of the mouth and nasal cavities. And much like rape there's a whole, unwholsome culture that supports it to the chagrin of a vocal minority. I oppose this.


2013-09-12 05:58:58 PM  
1 vote:

onzmadi: I dunno I have the "soap" supertaster genes, then after 10 years of off again on again ear infections I lost it and thanks to the damage it did Cilantro tastes fine. until I got the flu then I got it back, then I lost it again.

The point?

oh there is none just like a pointless article and thread that says there is One true correct way to like or eat anything.
If you like  Ketchup on your steak  go nuts if you like your salsa Cilantroless salsa good on you.

I remember when food articles used to be about exposing people to tastes they may not have tried before rather than trying to declare yourself king of food.

./Steps off my Cilantrobox

My father-in-law always orders the most expensive ribeye on the menu.  Well done.  Then he covers it in ketchup.  He thinks spaghetti is noodles, ground beef, and ketchup.  No spices, no mixing those three ingredients until they are on the plate.  He also won't eat cilantro, but that has more to do with it being green than it tasting like soap.  I don't have a point, really.  Other than that I hate dining with my in-laws.
2013-09-12 02:53:47 PM  
1 vote:

superdude72: Who the fark bothers to seed jalapenos? If a jalapeno is too hot for you, maybe you should give up on salsa and use ketchup instead.

I seeded a jalapeno.  Jalapeno was the nickname I gave to this senorita I met in a Tucson bar one evening....
2013-09-12 10:11:06 AM  
1 vote:

someonelse: I love cilantro so much I want to roll around naked in it and then hate-f*ck all you haters.

Papalo, on the other hand, tastes like ditchweed watered with

Satan's bathwater.

Crap.  That would have been a better login.
2013-09-12 10:10:37 AM  
1 vote:
All of you genetic defectives who think cilantro tastes like soap should look on the bright side: if a recipe calls for fresh cilantro and you have none; just use soap instead. Win!
2013-09-12 09:38:49 AM  
1 vote:
Let me tell you about some Cilantro.  My mother made salsa when I was in high school  She loved the stuff.  You know what the ingredients were by volume?  Tomato, cilantro, vinegar, onion.  You know what it tasted like?
Ass.  It tastes like ass.  I've eaten ass, it's only appealing if you're about to be on the delivering end of anal sex.

Now this in and of itself does not harbor a hatred for cilantro.  What does is having her both put the salsa on every batch of chicken she made for six months.  She also put cilantro in farking EVERYTHING for about a year solid.  Everything tasted like cilantro.  This, for some reason, was a trend in popular cooking for about 10 years.  Why all of a sudden everyone decided that kneeling down and sucking the wang of
cilantro was a brilliant idea, I don't know.  I didn't have a problem when they put dill in everything in walking distance or when they covered everything with basil pesto and sundried tomatos (I blame california for that one), or when they insisted that everything with red meat needed sage.  The cilantro I couldn't STAND.

To be clear, I don't think it tastes like soap, I think it tastes like someone infused random herbage into vinegar and then bottled it.  It's like someone boiled down parsley until it was unbearable and went "great idea" and everyone went for it.  I don't know why.  If I smell it, taste it, or clearly see it I will not be eating your food.  Don't tell me it's there and if I can't tell you're doing it right.  If I can ID cilantro in your cooking from 50 paces, take it down about eleventy notches.
2013-09-12 07:51:01 AM  
1 vote:
Mmmmm, soap.
2013-09-12 07:15:01 AM  
1 vote:

ph0rk: Cilantro sucks.

You are entitled to your own opinion no matter how wrong and stupid it is.
2013-09-12 06:29:22 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: Cooking with cilantro is like rape of the mouth and nasal cavities. And much like rape there's a whole, unwholsome culture that supports it to the chagrin of a vocal minority. I oppose this.


Here's another C for you.
CHINGAZOS!! 'cuz that's what you'll get if you leave out the cilantro, biatch!
2013-09-12 05:51:25 AM  
1 vote:
2013-09-12 05:50:06 AM  
1 vote:
If I were God, I'd design a plague that attacked Cilantro and destroyed it from the face of the earth. It would also attack and melt the insides of all the god damn cilantro pushers out there who have ruined every farking dish since the early 1990's by putting that nasty shiat on everything.

I'm not trolling. I don't care how you react to this. I'm merely informing the cilantro crowd that they are wrong. Also that they are scum and deserve a slow death. Like Nickelback fans. What you do in your home is your business but keep that crap out of my food.
2013-09-12 05:38:06 AM  
1 vote:
Cilantro tastes like a moldy dishrag.  It is known.
2013-09-12 05:30:35 AM  
1 vote:

CraicBaby: If you think cilantro tastes like soap, it means you have a defective gene. Seriously.

No super powers for the anosmic.
2013-09-12 05:29:07 AM  
1 vote:
I'll give you my cilantro when you pry it from my cold, dead, fragrant, and delicious hands.
2013-09-12 05:19:39 AM  
1 vote:

FuzedBox: fark. Degreaser.
2013-09-12 05:12:09 AM  
1 vote:
Oh good, two new things which guarantee troll threads here:

1) cilantro

2) Salon articles.
2013-09-12 05:03:57 AM  
1 vote:
Cilantro can't hold a candle durian. I have never tasted/smelled something so horrid.
2013-09-12 04:50:08 AM  
1 vote:
None of that New York City crap for me.
2013-09-12 02:53:52 AM  
1 vote:
This thread has taught me I can use cilantro stems to appease you genetic mutants.
2013-09-12 02:46:44 AM  
1 vote:

violentsalvation: I find cilantro really easily overwhelms all the other flavors, but when used in moderation it really does help complete a well-rounded dish. But I'm crazy about hops and IPA's so wtf do I know about moderation?

*Fist bump*
2013-09-12 12:46:00 AM  
1 vote:
I make salsa all the time. Sometimes I make it fresco, sometimes I like to roast the peppers and tomatoes over a wood fire prior to mixing. So what I'm saying is... sorcery.
2013-09-12 12:23:01 AM  
1 vote:
It's cheaper, and has the same effect, to just add battery acid and soap.
2013-09-11 11:48:32 PM  
1 vote:

doglover: Ivory dishwashingv liquid is cheaper.

I find Irish Spring has a more similar flavor

/finely shredded, of course
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