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(The Raw Story)   Alex Jones gives his viewpoint on the latest developments in Syria, which are devoid of any understanding of diplomacy, foreign affairs, or reality in general   (rawstory.com) divider line 153
    More: Obvious, Obama, Air Forces Ones, diplomacy, elitists  
•       •       •

2323 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Sep 2013 at 12:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-11 12:26:19 PM  
The latter half of that sentence is implied by the first half.
 
2013-09-11 12:27:09 PM  
What else is new about the king of the tinfoilers?
 
2013-09-11 12:27:17 PM  

Felgraf: The latter half of that sentence is implied by the first half.


Done in one.
 
2013-09-11 12:27:20 PM  
He truly is a national treasure.
 
2013-09-11 12:27:28 PM  
9/11 was Bush's Benghazi, #neverforget
 
2013-09-11 12:28:15 PM  
I want some of what he's smoking. Unless it's crack. And it kinda sounds like crack.
 
2013-09-11 12:28:30 PM  
Alex J-


forum.sportsmogul.com
 
2013-09-11 12:28:52 PM  

Felgraf: The latter half of that sentence is implied by the first half.


Thread over.
 
2013-09-11 12:29:02 PM  
Well, that was an interesting tour through Crazytown.
 
2013-09-11 12:31:27 PM  
"...devoid of any understanding of diplomacy, foreign affairs, or reality in general"

So, Generic Republican. Got it.
 
2013-09-11 12:32:40 PM  
It's like, we should join forces with the megaminds from Zeta Reticuli to force Putin's government (backed by the greys) to divulge the secret of transwarp, which they got from the lizard people during Project Blue Book.
 
2013-09-11 12:32:44 PM  
Cyborgs?  Oh man I love this guy.
 
2013-09-11 12:32:52 PM  
The infowars "articles" on Syria are about as schizophrenic as it gets. They go all the way from "Syria ain't got no chemical weapons, and the honorable Assad would never use them anyway" (I kid ye not) to "ZOMG UN plot to take away Assads chemical weapons in order to give victory to AL-CIA-DUUUHHHHHH!!!"
  I mean damn if you wanna be crazy be crazy, but at least be consistent.
 
2013-09-11 12:33:03 PM  

Apos: Alex J-


[forum.sportsmogul.com image 250x272]


Now now, there's also:
Alex J's Smokehouse
DJ Alex J.
Alex J. Mann
Alex J. Pollock
Alex J. Cavanaugh
 
2013-09-11 12:33:34 PM  
If I wanted Alex Jones' opinion on Syria I would've gone down to the street corner on the bad side of town and listened to the homeless for awhile.
 
2013-09-11 12:34:02 PM  

theorellior: It's like, we should join forces with the megaminds from Zeta Reticuli to force Putin's government (backed by the greys) to divulge the secret of transwarp, which they got from the lizard people during Project Blue Book.


Pfft! "The Lizard People". They've obviously gotten to you too!
 
2013-09-11 12:36:22 PM  
I only know who this guy is from Fark.  Does he have an audience?
 
2013-09-11 12:36:32 PM  
This guy gets crazier by the day.  There's no way he believes all that shiat and he's just doing it for the money.
 
2013-09-11 12:37:20 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: I only know who this guy is from Fark.  Does he have an audience?


He's the founder of the conspiracy-theorist site http://www.infowars.com.
 
2013-09-11 12:37:25 PM  
Alex Jones said this week that an effort to avert a U.S. attack on Syria with diplomacy was actually a United Nations plot for the extinction of the human race, which would be replaced by "globalists" like President Barack Obama who would become cyborgs by using "life-extension technologies."

Seems legit
 
2013-09-11 12:37:40 PM  
you lost me at Alex Jones - anyone care to summarize?
 
2013-09-11 12:39:55 PM  

ManateeGag: you lost me at Alex Jones - anyone care to summarize?


The Syrian conflict is part of the world wide conspiracy to turn the elites into cyborgs.
 
2013-09-11 12:39:57 PM  
Cyborgs are Obama's Benghazighazi
 
2013-09-11 12:40:28 PM  

ManateeGag: you lost me at Alex Jones - anyone care to summarize?


www.computerclipart.com
 
2013-09-11 12:41:08 PM  

Almost Everybody Poops: This guy gets crazier by the day.  There's no way he believes all that shiat and he's just doing it for the money.


I don't understand how anyone can listen to that crap, even as a joke.
 
2013-09-11 12:41:43 PM  
 And to think, there is a large number of people who hang on every word that comes out of this dudes mouth, and are armed to the teeth.

Sleep tight.
 
2013-09-11 12:42:04 PM  
I'm not sure if some of what he said went over my head, but I think the idea is that us normal people all around the world need to train up as dentists, stock up on the pipes dentists use to clean peoples' mouths, and we can defeat this evil plot
 
2013-09-11 12:42:39 PM  
I didn't see the movie, but is Jones basically reading off the plot summary of Elysium?
 
2013-09-11 12:43:32 PM  
And Obama and the globalists and the robber barons, they're going to fly around in their jetcopters and their Air Forces Ones and their red carpets, like gods above us. And they're going to get the life-extension technologies."

Holy shiat.  He's nuttier than squirrel shiat.
 
2013-09-11 12:44:06 PM  
 "come into any country they want, that has any type of weapons systems - and call them WMDs, and then dismantle that country's infrastructure."

Enough about Bush
 
2013-09-11 12:44:52 PM  

HypnozombieX: And to think, there is a large number of people who hang on every word that comes out of this dudes mouth, and are armed to the teeth.

Sleep tight.


A bunch of dumb, gullible, armed idiots believing and following a crank, dumb idiot conspiracy theorist.

As God and the founding fathers intended.
 
2013-09-11 12:44:58 PM  
I saw an infowars.com sticker on a car recently.
I met someone who was all, "Alex Jones 2016 Obama Dictator."
So, yes, there is an audience.
 
2013-09-11 12:46:16 PM  
i confess that i don't know who alex jones is, but i honestly have a hard time believing that is real.  are you trying to tell me that there is a man out there who is paid to have his own national radio show and people actually listen to him, and he spouts lunatic nonsense like that?  how can anyone think this guy is sane?  i mean that cyborg stuff is about as looney as saying that aliens are reading his mind and his wife is actually a clone.
 
2013-09-11 12:46:57 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Almost Everybody Poops: This guy gets crazier by the day.  There's no way he believes all that shiat and he's just doing it for the money.

I don't understand how anyone can listen to that crap, even as a joke.


The one thing that's helpful about Jones is that you can immediately dismiss anything someone says about politics if they bring him up in a positive light. See an Infowars bumper sticker? A nice indicator that person is not to be asked for their opinion of anything important. I remember during the last class I took to get my bachelor's degree there was a hardcore Joneser ex-Marine. Okay enough guy, but when he started discussing 9/11 conspiracies as if they were true in class I've never wanted to mock someone more than him.
 
2013-09-11 12:48:13 PM  
I'm not saying saying "Resistance is futile!"  But "Resistance is futile!"
 
2013-09-11 12:48:17 PM  

enderthexenocide: i confess that i don't know who alex jones is, but i honestly have a hard time believing that is real.  are you trying to tell me that there is a man out there who is paid to have his own national radio show and people actually listen to him, and he spouts lunatic nonsense like that? how can anyone think this guy is sane?  i mean that cyborg stuff is about as looney as saying that aliens are reading his mind and his wife is actually a clone.


Yes, because this is America! We have a long proud history of crankery.
 
2013-09-11 12:49:52 PM  

Soup4Bonnie: I only know who this guy is from Fark.  Does he have an audience?


He actually has the largest audience in the conspiracy world.  Considering his youtube movies get tens of millions of views, I'd say it's pretty sizable.
 
2013-09-11 12:50:18 PM  
I didn't realize Alex Jones was a multichin fatty. That explains a lot.
 
2013-09-11 12:50:21 PM  
Shaka, when the walls fell.
 
2013-09-11 12:50:47 PM  
Given that Jones lives in an $850K house in a gated community, I kinda wish the globalists would run my life too.
 
2013-09-11 12:53:58 PM  
BILDERBURGER GROUP!!!!
byebyepie.typepad.com
 
2013-09-11 12:57:02 PM  

scottydoesntknow: I want some of what he's smoking. Unless it's crack. And it kinda sounds like crack.


The kids today are smoking bath salts, and 5 years ago it was meth. When making fun of those with obvious self-incurred brain damage it helps to stay up on current events ;)
 
2013-09-11 12:58:18 PM  
I remember playing that game.  At the end, it turns out their leader was a computer all along.
 
2013-09-11 12:58:48 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, that was an interesting tour through Crazytown.


It's better as viewed from the top of the double-decker bus zooming by with someone narrating than having to actually walk its streets.
 
2013-09-11 01:00:25 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: ManateeGag: you lost me at Alex Jones - anyone care to summarize?

The Syrian conflict is part of the world wide conspiracy to turn the elites into cyborgs.


The Hank Henshaw kind or the Victor Stone kind? I wouldn't mind getting on some 1980s era Starfire, Wonder Girl, and maybe after a few drinks Raven...
 
2013-09-11 01:01:02 PM  
I swear I killed more brain cells reading Alex Jones' claptrap than I did drinking 4 beers this past Sunday.  I don't get how people can believe such a blatherskite.  I only know of Jones because my half-brother fancies himself as a subversive.  The worst part is Jones gets paid to be a troll.

Don't feed the troll!
 
2013-09-11 01:02:01 PM  

HypnozombieX: And to think, there is a large number of people who hang on every word that comes out of this dudes mouth, and are armed to the teeth.

Sleep tight.


Responsible gun owners.
 
2013-09-11 01:02:55 PM  

harleyquinnical: I swear I killed more brain cells reading Alex Jones' claptrap than I did drinking 4 beers this past Sunday.  I don't get how people can believe such a blatherskite.  I only know of Jones because my half-brother fancies himself as a subversive.  The worst part is Jones gets paid to be a troll.

Don't feed the troll!


This, if for no other reason than for the word "blatherskite", which we all know to be blathering.
 
2013-09-11 01:05:28 PM  
a stone-age cyborg utopia, utterly deindustrialized except for life-extending technology?
 
2013-09-11 01:05:46 PM  

Jake Havechek: And Obama and the globalists and the robber barons, they're going to fly around in their jetcopters and their Air Forces Ones and their red carpets, like gods above us. And they're going to get the life-extension technologies."

Holy shiat.  He's nuttier than squirrel shiat.


"Jetcopters" was hilarious but while laughing at that I almost missed the "red carpets" mention.

What does he mean by this?  Are the globalist cyborgs flying around on magic carpets like Aladdin, only they're red?  Is it more like a long red carpet in the sky that they are walking on above us?  Do their jetcopters and Air Force Ones come equipped with red carpets?

So many questions unanswered.  WHAT DOES HE KNOW?!?  HOW DOES HE KNOW IT?!?
 
2013-09-11 01:05:53 PM  

ManateeGag: you lost me at Alex Jones - anyone care to summarize?


We lost you at Alex Jones.
 
2013-09-11 01:06:12 PM  
If a science-based, transhumanist global shadow government was really running the world, things would be in much better shape.

It's actually just a bunch of rich sociopaths bribing anyone who comes anywhere near the levers of power.  It's not a conspiracy.  It's called lobbying.
 
2013-09-11 01:09:19 PM  
You mean someone that makes, lets be conserative here, over 25Million a year peddling fear is talking out the side of his mouth?

youdontsay.jpg

/who knew quoting out of context could pay so well
//listens from time to time, gets upset when little details get repeated for hours like they are some major bomb shell
 
2013-09-11 01:09:28 PM  

theorellior: It's like, we should join forces with the megaminds from Zeta Reticuli


24.media.tumblr.com
Probably not the best idea in the world.
 
2013-09-11 01:09:34 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: harleyquinnical: I swear I killed more brain cells reading Alex Jones' claptrap than I did drinking 4 beers this past Sunday.  I don't get how people can believe such a blatherskite.  I only know of Jones because my half-brother fancies himself as a subversive.  The worst part is Jones gets paid to be a troll.

Don't feed the troll!

This, if for no other reason than for the word "blatherskite", which we all know to be blathering.


img839.imageshack.usY
You beckoned, citizen?
 
2013-09-11 01:13:12 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: Apos: Alex J-


[forum.sportsmogul.com image 250x272]

Now now, there's also:
Alex J's Smokehouse
DJ Alex J.
Alex J. Mann
Alex J. Pollock
Alex J. Cavanaugh


Don't forget Alex J., the insane guy on the corner rambling about how Miley Cyrus ruined his business in 1974, and that the Soviet Union is really still around and just cloaking themselves. You know - the guy who makes more sense than Alex Jones.
 
2013-09-11 01:13:56 PM  
That can not possibly be what he . . .  (check article)....    wow.

He truly is a whackadoo.
 
2013-09-11 01:15:56 PM  
That's a pretty diabolical scheme.  A Bond villain scheme.

Fortunately, we'll all be OK because 0bozo is the most incompetent empty-suit Bond villain since Dominic Greene.

Max Zorin would have replaced all of humanity with cyborgs in his first term.
 
2013-09-11 01:17:12 PM  

enderthexenocide: i confess that i don't know who alex jones is, but i honestly have a hard time believing that is real.  are you trying to tell me that there is a man out there who is paid to have his own national radio show and people actually listen to him, and he spouts lunatic nonsense like that?  how can anyone think this guy is sane?  i mean that cyborg stuff is about as looney as saying that aliens are reading his mind and his wife is actually a clone.


www.cyclonefanatic.com
 
2013-09-11 01:17:20 PM  
Say what you will about the guy, but he knows how to fleece morons.
 
2013-09-11 01:19:38 PM  
Second Amendment champion Alex Jones.
 
2013-09-11 01:21:23 PM  

tbhouston: You mean someone that makes, lets be conserative here, over 25Million a year peddling fear is talking out the side of his mouth?

youdontsay.jpg

/who knew quoting out of context could pay so well
//listens from time to time, gets upset when little details get repeated for hours like they are some major bomb shell


How is that any better in "context"?
 
2013-09-11 01:24:37 PM  

Frozboz: Cyborgs?  Oh man I love this guy.


No way did he say cyborgs....*click*.......

Jeebuz, Marie & Jo-Jo on a blind horse.....he really did.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:43 PM  
People say Glenn Beck's show will end tragically, but I do think it's enough of an act for Beck that if his show did end, he'd just sort of retire to obscurity with all his money and he'd be at least somewhat happy.

Alex Jones, on the other hand, is headed for a Branch Davidian type situation.  He seems to truly be dangerously crazy.
 
2013-09-11 01:28:36 PM  
I don't know what everyone is writing about.  Alex Jones seems to be the most level headed, articulate and intelligent Teabagger in existence.  I'd wager his cranium has a flow through design.

I've seen the Terminator documentaries.  Cyborgs are scary.
 
2013-09-11 01:30:09 PM  
hah listen to his show yesterday...he sounds like a little kid that gets picked on "and they wanna make fun of me..i wanna see them make fun of me now with this all on record"

make fun of him?? lol how could you not
 
2013-09-11 01:31:15 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: Second Amendment champion Alex Jones.


An instant classic
 
2013-09-11 01:38:07 PM  
Okay, seriously, is he a long con guy doing a schtick, or is he actually schizophrenic?
 
2013-09-11 01:38:42 PM  
In other news: Horns make honking sounds.
 
2013-09-11 01:41:53 PM  

Bloody William: Okay, seriously, is he a long con guy doing a schtick, or is he actually schizophrenic?


Why not both.PNG
 
2013-09-11 01:44:04 PM  
It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.

Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.

Oh, and look up some of the more recent Zbigniew Brzynski speeches.  Have fun with that.
 
2013-09-11 01:46:14 PM  
Cyborgs. far out man.
 
2013-09-11 01:49:14 PM  
Can I buy some pot from you?
 
2013-09-11 01:49:38 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: theorellior: It's like, we should join forces with the megaminds from Zeta Reticuli to force Putin's government (backed by the greys) to divulge the secret of transwarp, which they got from the lizard people during Project Blue Book.

Pfft! "The Lizard People". They've obviously gotten to you too!


Well, yes. Duh.
 
2013-09-11 01:51:04 PM  

dynomutt: It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.

Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.

Oh, and look up some of the more recent Zbigniew Brzynski speeches.  Have fun with that.


So what you're saying is ole Alex doesn't have the corner on the crazy market?

We knew that.  He's just today's loudest flavor.
 
2013-09-11 01:54:12 PM  
Anyone who seriously uses the phrase "MSM" should be locked up in a room with padded walls and nice men with syringes full of haloperidol.
 
2013-09-11 01:55:41 PM  

dynomutt: Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.


I like it, you're defending Alex Jones' crazy ranting by countering with Ray Kurzweil's crazy ranting. Something like fighting fire with fire, right?
 
2013-09-11 01:56:22 PM  
Who?
 
2013-09-11 01:56:54 PM  
Cyborg - A human who has certain physiological processes aided or controlled by mechanical or electronic devices.

I wear eyeglasses, a mechanical device meant to aid/augment/correct my vision.  Vision is a physiological process.

Therefore, I am a cyborg.

//Really stretching that definition, I know.
 
2013-09-11 01:57:26 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: Well, yes. Duh.


Thank God you're here. I think you'll need to warm up the memory blasters on the mothership to deal with this thread. Everyone, keep your eyes on the screen.
 
2013-09-11 01:57:39 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: dynomutt: It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.

Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.

Oh, and look up some of the more recent Zbigniew Brzynski speeches.  Have fun with that.

So what you're saying is ole Alex doesn't have the corner on the crazy market?

We knew that.  He's just today's loudest flavor.


I have to admit Dynomutt seems like a pretty valid source of information when it comes to life-extension technologies and cyborgs. 

/They make a super pair, with a super show to share. Scooby Doo and Dynomutt, Dog wonder.
 
2013-09-11 01:58:35 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, that was an interesting tour through Crazytown.


And, it's chauffeured...

i1.ytimg.com


\not obscure
 
2013-09-11 02:01:25 PM  
Fringe conservative radio host?  This crazy farker is embarrassingly popular, particularly with the Paultard Libertarian types.
 
2013-09-11 02:01:30 PM  

dynomutt: It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.

Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.

Oh, and look up some of the more recent Zbigniew Brzynski speeches.  Have fun with that.


Are the Reptilians and Illuminati part of it too? I'm not buying it without those guys.
 
2013-09-11 02:03:00 PM  

theorellior: Obama's Reptiloid Master: Well, yes. Duh.

Thank God you're here. I think you'll need to warm up the memory blasters on the mothership to deal with this thread. Everyone, keep your eyes on the screen.


Eh. We've found it more effective just to let people marginalize themselves. Alex Jones is crazy and wrong, and everyone knows it. I mean, yes, space monsters exist and secretly control your world, but it's never as nefarious as he makes it sound. We simply offer a more competitive benefits package and present a strong case.

A good PowerPoint presentation is better than a railgun array on your intergalactic cruiser any day.

Also Tau Ceti has faboo corporate retreats. You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.
 
2013-09-11 02:03:06 PM  

enderthexenocide: i confess that i don't know who alex jones is, but i honestly have a hard time believing that is real.  are you trying to tell me that there is a man out there who is paid to have his own national radio show and people actually listen to him, and he spouts lunatic nonsense like that?  how can anyone think this guy is sane?  i mean that cyborg stuff is about as looney as saying that aliens are reading his mind and his wife is actually a clone.


He's real....but he spent some time under one of Exeter's sunlamps.

i1168.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-11 02:05:07 PM  
tinderfitles:

/They make a super pair, with a super show to share. Scooby Doo and Dynomutt, Dog wonder.

This really, truly, made me LOL.

Nicely done!  Have an internet.
 
2013-09-11 02:06:28 PM  
They've already prepared the signs.

img.gawkerassets.com
Wake up, sheeple!
 
2013-09-11 02:06:47 PM  

Car_Ramrod: HypnozombieX: And to think, there is a large number of people who hang on every word that comes out of this dudes mouth, and are armed to the teeth.

Sleep tight.

Responsible gun owners.


With paranoid delusions about conspiracies around every corner.
 
2013-09-11 02:07:19 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.


I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks.  This did not make me LOL.


/please be gentle
 
2013-09-11 02:15:07 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Obama's Reptiloid Master: You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.

I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks.  This did not make me LOL.


/please be gentle


I am told the traditional response is to "lie back and think of England."

Or just have fun with it. Moan as they insert the camera, and when they take it out, say "don't stop I'm so close."
 
2013-09-11 02:15:57 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: We simply offer a more competitive benefits package and present a strong case.


Indeed you do! Plus, I really like helping the first instars out of their egg sacs. They're so cute! Best part of the job.
 
2013-09-11 02:16:55 PM  
You can ignore him...
 
2013-09-11 02:22:21 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: Eh. We've found it more effective just to let people marginalize themselves. Alex Jones is crazy and wrong, and everyone knows it. I mean, yes, space monsters exist and secretly control your world, but it's never as nefarious as he makes it sound. We simply offer a more competitive benefits package and present a strong case.

A good PowerPoint presentation is better than a railgun array on your intergalactic cruiser any day.

Also Tau Ceti has faboo corporate retreats. You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.


I would be proud- proud, I say- to be the host organism for your parasitic/cannibalistic larvae solely on the strength of the awesome in this post.
 
2013-09-11 02:22:43 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks. This did not make me LOL.


If they use Versed as a amnesiac, you won't remember much at all. At least, I didn't.
 
2013-09-11 02:24:11 PM  

Obama's Reptiloid Master: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Obama's Reptiloid Master: You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.

I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks.  This did not make me LOL.


/please be gentle

I am told the traditional response is to "lie back and think of England."

Or just have fun with it. Moan as they insert the camera, and when they take it out, say "don't stop I'm so close."


I'm having a friend come over the day before and write "EXIT ONLY" in calligraphy on my ass with a sharpie.  I'll apparently be in "deep twilight" so I can't say I'll be able to interact with the staff.  I'm perfectly OK with that.
 
2013-09-11 02:25:58 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: Obama's Reptiloid Master: Satan's Bunny Slippers: Obama's Reptiloid Master: You think you'll just go in for a little probing and BAM! Full digestive cleanse.

I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks.  This did not make me LOL.


/please be gentle

I am told the traditional response is to "lie back and think of England."

Or just have fun with it. Moan as they insert the camera, and when they take it out, say "don't stop I'm so close."

I'm having a friend come over the day before and write "EXIT ONLY" in calligraphy on my ass with a sharpie.  I'll apparently be in "deep twilight" so I can't say I'll be able to interact with the staff.  I'm perfectly OK with that.


The twilight saga continues...
 
2013-09-11 02:31:33 PM  

theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: I have a colonoscopy in a couple weeks. This did not make me LOL.

If they use Versed as a amnesiac, you won't remember much at all. At least, I didn't.


This seems to be what they're telling me.  I know I have to have a driver.

Fart_Machine:
The twilight saga continues...

FUNNIED!
 
2013-09-11 02:31:37 PM  

Fart_Machine: The twilight saga continues...


He'll definitely have a "New Moon".
 
2013-09-11 02:33:20 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: This seems to be what they're telling me. I know I have to have a driver.


Indeed you do. It sucks and all, but I'd much rather have a colonoscopy even without anaesthetic than deal with full-blown ass cancer.
 
2013-09-11 02:36:03 PM  

theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: This seems to be what they're telling me. I know I have to have a driver.

Indeed you do. It sucks and all, but I'd much rather have a colonoscopy even without anaesthetic than deal with full-blown ass cancer.


Tell that to every uneducated hillbilly the Grays pick up and test for cancer. You'd think "Doctors without Planetary Systems" was doing that for fun. Nope. Zeta Reticuli pays off college loans if they spend four years zipping around the backwaters of the Milky Way making sure less-evolved species are healthy.
 
2013-09-11 02:37:59 PM  

theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: This seems to be what they're telling me. I know I have to have a driver.

Indeed you do. It sucks and all, but I'd much rather have a colonoscopy even without anaesthetic than deal with full-blown ass cancer.


Yepper.  I didn't even hesitate when I got the "Hey, you're 50!  Time for a buttscope!" letter from my doc.

Being female, I've had 35+ years of pap smears and mammograms and other not so pleasant things.  At least I can sleep through this one.  The prep will be the worst...but at least I can have coffee, so I won't kill anyone 24 hours prior.
 
2013-09-11 02:39:54 PM  

dynomutt: It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.

Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back and say that what Alex Jones was ranting about this time (A reminder for you, the subject was globalists who are bent on exclusive life-extension and integration with machines) was off base.

Oh, and look up some of the more recent Zbigniew Brzynski speeches.  Have fun with that.


Okay now that we know what the consensus in the Blue Falcon Nest is (or whatever Blue Falcon called his Batcave knockoff) can we hear from Scoobie Doo what Mystery, Inc. has to say?
 
2013-09-11 02:46:10 PM  

dynomutt: Go watch the movie made about Ray Kurzweil and then come back


how am I going to come back here and talk about something if I'm sound asleep?
 
2013-09-11 02:48:46 PM  
How is Timecube involved here?
 
2013-09-11 02:51:34 PM  
fnord.
 
2013-09-11 02:52:16 PM  
I WANT TO BE A CYBORG!
 
2013-09-11 02:54:16 PM  

theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: This seems to be what they're telling me. I know I have to have a driver.

Indeed you do. It sucks and all, but I'd much rather have a colonoscopy even without anaesthetic than deal with full-blown ass cancer.


I'm still kind of "on the fence" about that.

/53 years old
//doctor is getting impatient
///so I stopped going to the doctor
 
2013-09-11 02:55:12 PM  
His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.
 
2013-09-11 02:57:48 PM  

stpickrell: How is Timecube involved here?


Timecube is too rational for this.
 
2013-09-11 02:59:26 PM  

BMulligan: theorellior: Satan's Bunny Slippers: This seems to be what they're telling me. I know I have to have a driver.

Indeed you do. It sucks and all, but I'd much rather have a colonoscopy even without anaesthetic than deal with full-blown ass cancer.

I'm still kind of "on the fence" about that.

/53 years old
//doctor is getting impatient
///so I stopped going to the doctor


For me at least, a big factor in not putting it off is that now at 50, it's a "recommended diagnostic well test" and BCBS pays 100%, no deductible.  So why the hell not?  free nap, free chauffeur, a little pampering for a couple hours after.  :)  It's like a spa, caused by your butt!
 
2013-09-11 02:59:32 PM  

dynomutt: It's obvious that none of you have ever listened to Alex Jones for more than a few seconds.  The few seconds in question are probably the ones provided out of context by the MSM.

It's also obvious that none of you have ever read what the people he speaks of have written THEMSELVES.



Hey, guess what. I've actually done all of those things. When I was a teenager, I was actually a fan of Alex Jones, and really believed in some of his stuff. Then I grew up, and realized Alex Jones is a nucking fut who really only cares about getting your money.

Obama's Reptiloid Master:

Ahh, one of those threads you can truly shine. Well played, good sir/ma'am/lizard thingy.
 
2013-09-11 03:13:17 PM  

mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.


Mmmmm-kay.
 
2013-09-11 03:16:14 PM  

mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.


Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.
 
2013-09-11 03:20:38 PM  
Alex Jones: same as that schizophrenic hobo screaming at people from an alleyway, but richer.
 
2013-09-11 03:20:52 PM  
Oh wow - that's disjointed and nonsensical, even by his usual standards. Holy crap.

Back on your meds, Alex, and step into the padded room please.
 
2013-09-11 03:26:04 PM  

Car_Ramrod: Crotchrocket Slim: harleyquinnical: I swear I killed more brain cells reading Alex Jones' claptrap than I did drinking 4 beers this past Sunday.  I don't get how people can believe such a blatherskite.  I only know of Jones because my half-brother fancies himself as a subversive.  The worst part is Jones gets paid to be a troll.

Don't feed the troll!

This, if for no other reason than for the word "blatherskite", which we all know to be blathering.

[img839.imageshack.us image 573x640]Y
You beckoned, citizen?


I was wondering why the word blatherskite was pinging on something in my brain. Totally forgot about that cartoon....
 
2013-09-11 03:26:29 PM  

mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.


Yah, I guess we are just not ironic enough for you. You probably got your handle when FARK was still cool.
 
2013-09-11 03:26:32 PM  

HypnozombieX: And to think, there is a large number of people who hang on every word that comes out of this dudes mouth, and are armed to the teeth.


Cite for what you consider to be "Large Number of People"? (Also "Armed to the teeth")

And how do you factor for the number of people like us who end up elevating his status because we pay attention to him just to chuckle?
 
2013-09-11 03:38:26 PM  

Bloody William: Okay, seriously, is he a long con guy doing a schtick, or is he actually schizophrenic?


i301.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-11 03:41:20 PM  

ristst: enderthexenocide: i confess that i don't know who alex jones is, but i honestly have a hard time believing that is real.  are you trying to tell me that there is a man out there who is paid to have his own national radio show and people actually listen to him, and he spouts lunatic nonsense like that?  how can anyone think this guy is sane?  i mean that cyborg stuff is about as looney as saying that aliens are reading his mind and his wife is actually a clone.

He's real....but he spent some time under one of Exeter's sunlamps.

[i1168.photobucket.com image 337x305]


Mike:(as the landlady) Are you boys cooking up there?
Crow: No!
Mike:(as the landlady) Are you making an Interoceter?
Crow: No!!
 
2013-09-11 03:43:45 PM  

BMulligan: /53 years old
//doctor is getting impatient
///so I stopped going to the doctor


Shame on you!  You're in Seattle!  You are surrounded by some of the best treatment facilities should, god forbid!, you have something.  Early detection is key!

(I'm putting it off until I hit 50 which is just around the corner and to the right.)
 
2013-09-11 03:48:39 PM  
Are they going to be Robocop cyborgs?

whatculture.com

Or Cain?

robocoparchive.com

Or Barbeu Bot?

cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-09-11 03:57:33 PM  
Actually can we get Angelina Jolie in Cyborg 2?

www.cyberpunkreview.com
 
2013-09-11 04:21:27 PM  

vygramul: stpickrell: How is Timecube involved here?

Timecube is too rational for this.


This is unfortunately true.
 
2013-09-11 04:36:21 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.

Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.


Uhmm yea. You sound narcissistic too there buddy. That sure wasn't a compassionate post, so go fark yourself or something.
 
2013-09-11 04:39:13 PM  

mmmk: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.

Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.

Uhmm yea. You sound narcissistic too there buddy. That sure wasn't a compassionate post, so go fark yourself or something.


Karl Rove would be so proud of you.
 
2013-09-11 04:48:51 PM  

mmmk: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.

Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.

Uhmm yea. You sound narcissistic too there buddy. That sure wasn't a compassionate post, so go fark yourself or something.


When you come into a thread all high and mighty and generally tossing around terms used by the poorly educated and generally misinformed, expect snarky dickishness to be the friendliest possible response, especially when your post is devoid of actual content relevant to the original discussion. If you are swinging in your initial post, expect to be swung back at.

My four year old niece understands this.
 
2013-09-11 05:00:43 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.

Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.

Uhmm yea. You sound narcissistic too there buddy. That sure wasn't a compassionate post, so go fark yourself or something.

When you come into a thread all high and mighty and generally tossing around terms used by the poorly educated and generally misinformed, expect snarky dickishness to be the friendliest possible response, especially when your post is devoid of actual content relevant to the original discussion. If you are swinging in your initial post, expect to be swung back at.

My four year old niece understands this.


Yes, yes. Fight fire with fire. I think we all know that, so you are admitting that we all act like selfish little children. Great. Sounds like what AJ and farkers on this site do daily. Figured I'd just add to it. Couldn't hurt.
 
2013-09-11 05:04:28 PM  

anfrind: mmmk: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: His rants are still more entertaining than the egotistical snark that comes from this site. I just come here to see what all the hipster statists think. Works pretty well for that, and Alex does for what some crazy evangelicals are thinking.

Which is funny as if I want to know what a useless narcissist with no understanding of the rule of law or history thinks, I'll go to a politics thread and search for posts with the word "statist" or "statism" in it.

Uhmm yea. You sound narcissistic too there buddy. That sure wasn't a compassionate post, so go fark yourself or something.

Karl Rove would be so proud of you.


And Chomsky of you. Here's AJ and Chomsky if you haven't heard it already

http://www.youtube.com/w atch?v=ql4WrUbIkx4

AJ still has better guests than most other talk shows.
 
2013-09-11 05:14:48 PM  
He sounds more like "Lazarus" the raving radio shock jock in the "Deus Ex" games. Only Lazarus is at least supposed to be a parody.
 
2013-09-11 05:17:49 PM  
mmmk: Yes, yes. Fight fire with fire. I think we all know that, so you are admitting that we all act like selfish little children. Great. Sounds like what AJ and farkers on this site do daily. Figured I'd just add to it. Couldn't hurt.

You're kind of a pussy to be coming in here and whining about it when you get back what you dish out, pussy. If you want to play the game don't biatch about others playing the game back.

Now about how everyone who complains about statism basically having no clue about how governance works... yeah you don't know a damn thing about how governance works in a democratic republic. Go eat a rope if you're going to argue chaos is more effective or efficient than something regulated or ordered. Go ahead princess we're waiting.
 
2013-09-11 05:28:03 PM  
They said Sarah Connor was crazy, too.
 
2013-09-11 05:40:33 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Yes, yes. Fight fire with fire. I think we all know that, so you are admitting that we all act like selfish little children. Great. Sounds like what AJ and farkers on this site do daily. Figured I'd just add to it. Couldn't hurt.

You're kind of a pussy to be coming in here and whining about it when you get back what you dish out, pussy. If you want to play the game don't biatch about others playing the game back.

Now about how everyone who complains about statism basically having no clue about how governance works... yeah you don't know a damn thing about how governance works in a democratic republic. Go eat a rope if you're going to argue chaos is more effective or efficient than something regulated or ordered. Go ahead princess we're waiting.


Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.
 
2013-09-11 05:48:46 PM  
www.bitlogic.com
 
2013-09-11 05:49:27 PM  
First off, the actual headline was truly Fark Ready:
Alex Jones: Syria diplomacy a plot to extinguish humans so Obama and elitists can be cyborgsHow can you improve on that?
 
2013-09-11 05:49:54 PM  

mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.


Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.
 
2013-09-11 05:58:17 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.


The meds are missing
Alex Jones seems a wise man
The voices, they sing
 
2013-09-11 06:27:50 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.


You still sound closed minded and narcissistic. Such a great tone. It's entertaining like Alex Jones.  Keep being a dick, and I'll keep being a pussy.
 
2013-09-11 06:29:50 PM  

Maud Dib: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, that was an interesting tour through Crazytown.

And, it's chauffeured...

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


\not obscure


It's sad that Linklater has given Jones roles in some of his movies. The guy does not need any more support.
 
2013-09-11 06:47:29 PM  

DeArmondVI: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.

The meds are missing
Alex Jones seems a wise man
The voices, they sing


Nice. Make fun of people on meds. All those soliders with PTSD - hilarious.
 
2013-09-11 07:29:36 PM  
What he says is not 'crazy', it is actually  plagarized from a Philip K Dick story.
 
2013-09-11 08:20:15 PM  

Boloxor the Insipid: What he says is not 'crazy', it is actually  plagarized from a Philip K Dick story.


....who was batshiat insane.

/a good writer
//but batshait insane.
///three slashies for luck
 
2013-09-11 09:28:52 PM  

mmmk: DeArmondVI: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.

The meds are missing
Alex Jones seems a wise man
The voices, they sing

Nice. Make fun of people on meds. All those soliders with PTSD - hilarious.


Hipsters suffer too
When bands betray them for fame,
makes PTSD
 
2013-09-12 02:33:19 AM  

DeArmondVI: mmmk: DeArmondVI: Crotchrocket Slim: mmmk: Hahah.. Thanks for feeding my troll. That was great. Passionate for sure. You sound like a psycho. You're probably racist too, and you are just as much of an egoist as those on the right - like AJ.

Too lazy to dig out the "what a troll wants you to think" comic but yeah, it was created with people like you in mind. And you're the one using the racist dogwhistle ("what you mean that the government is here to stop me from discriminating against coloreds. THE GOVERNMENT HAS TOO MUCH AUTHORITY".

As for order, I'll take any I can get. I'm a fan of triarchy currently, but things change.

I don't give a shiat about some poorly defined and thought out power structure your little echo chambers cooked up.

The meds are missing
Alex Jones seems a wise man
The voices, they sing

Nice. Make fun of people on meds. All those soliders with PTSD - hilarious.

Hipsters suffer too
When bands betray them for fame,
makes PTSD


Aww, that was beautiful. Art is nice when it tries to unite. Wonder if you disagree with Juan Carlos' view on Catalonia even though I can't claim to know their true power and intentions. Seems like a nice guy though.  What's wrong with an autonomous zone if they prove to be responsible?
 
2013-09-12 03:21:14 AM  

Heliovdrake: Bloody William: Okay, seriously, is he a long con guy doing a schtick, or is he actually schizophrenic?

Why not both.PNG


Neither. He's a CIA plant designed to muddy the pool by associating real government conspiracies with wackiness, thereby discrediting them. You're welcome.
 
2013-09-12 05:16:20 AM  
I seriously can not believe people actually listen to this jackass. Worse of all, people actually listen and believe him. No sane person can do so, has to be mental illness involved here. Some of his stuff is even dumber than your typical Syfy movie plot
 
2013-09-12 07:32:37 AM  
So Vladimir Putin publishes an op-ed that castrates Obama, get this, in NYC! !!!

But it doesn't get greenlit on Fark.

Poor little baby Obama. He's getting bullied. I think Putin just stole his lunch money.
 
2013-09-12 08:21:26 AM  
Wow, that is weapon-grade crazy.  There can only be 3 types of people who listen to his show:

1 - Those who need a good chuckle laugh.

2 - Right Wing Watch, aka those who keep track of the crazies with a media outlet.

3 - The Crazies.
 
2013-09-12 09:34:56 AM  

jntaylor63: Wow, that is weapon-grade crazy.  There can only be 3 types of people who listen to his show:

1 - Those who need a good chuckle laugh.

2 - Right Wing Watch, aka those who keep track of the crazies with a media outlet.

3 - The Crazies.


Alex Jones is tough to listen to. His show is non-sequitur stream of conscious nonsense.
 
2013-09-12 12:03:36 PM  

thrgd456: So Vladimir Putin publishes an op-ed that castrates Obama, get this, in NYC! !!!

But it doesn't get greenlit on Fark.

Poor little baby Obama. He's getting bullied. I think Putin just stole his lunch money.


Alex Jones Listener-like typing detected
 
2013-09-12 02:41:17 PM  
Something good did come out of this story.  I think I'm going to play Deus Ex again
 
2013-09-12 08:46:27 PM  
mmmk:
Aww, that was beautiful. Art is nice when it tries to unite. Wonder if you disagree with Juan Carlos' view on Catalonia even though I can't claim to know their true power and intentions. Seems like a nice guy though.  What's wrong with an autonomous zone if they prove to be responsible?

For fun and snark I come to Fark
If I want to be serious
you can bet
I'll be posting on Z net

/which I do, btw
 
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