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(Celebslam)   Gwyneth Paltrow owns a *gasp* deep fryer   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 50
    More: Interesting, Gwyneth Paltrow, chewing tobacco, countertops  
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1986 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Sep 2013 at 12:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-11 12:08:25 PM  
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-11 12:14:16 PM  
OK, why has the gossip columnist community declared a fatwa against Paltrow as of late?
 
2013-09-11 12:16:03 PM  
She only uses non-GMO organic jicama oil, and she fries panko-breaded artisinal free-range carrots.
 
2013-09-11 12:17:42 PM  
She's 'merikun for Christ's sake!
Asking a yank to live without one is like asking them to live without lungs!
 
2013-09-11 12:21:19 PM  

FrancoFile: She only uses non-GMO organic jicama oil, and she fries panko-breaded artisinal free-range carrots.


LOL.   I was going to say it belonged to "The Help" but I like yours better...
 
2013-09-11 12:57:00 PM  
We get it, she's sexually active
 
2013-09-11 01:02:14 PM  
Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
i52.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-11 01:07:08 PM  
It's for the help.
 
2013-09-11 01:11:10 PM  
Gwyneth Paltrow is a *gasp* c*nt.
 
2013-09-11 01:12:27 PM  
Gwyneth Paltrow was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple.
 
2013-09-11 01:14:28 PM  

Rip Dashrock: Gwyneth Paltrow was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple.


Was it just a double with a throwing error allowing the extra base?
 
2013-09-11 01:15:34 PM  
she should bob for apples in it
 
2013-09-11 01:15:44 PM  
Remember when she got finger banged by Ethan Hawke in Great Expectations? Good scene.
 
2013-09-11 01:18:11 PM  
This woman makes me torn between the desire to see her shot into the sun and the desire to savagely fark her in ways that rival Olympic events in difficulty and skill. The kind of farkery that manifests superpowers. I'd love the chance to goop in Goop, is what I'm saying. I'd just get the fark out of there before she started telling me about the joys of her "super inexpensive" $30,000 back yard artisanal pizza oven.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:55 PM  
People who exercise and are not identically prone to be fat can eat fried foods from time to time and be just fine.
 
2013-09-11 01:27:46 PM  

monoski: People who exercise and are not identically prone to be fat can eat fried foods from time to time and be just fine.


You sound fat.
 
2013-09-11 01:31:28 PM  
for some reason I don't think she's going to age well
 
2013-09-11 01:35:38 PM  
She fell into a deep fryer ? How........tragic.
 
2013-09-11 01:44:16 PM  
I read that as "deer fryer" and thought, yea it really wouldn't surprise me that Gwyneth Paltrow would have a fryer large enough to put a whole deer in.
 
2013-09-11 01:50:11 PM  

Trik: for some reason I don't think she's going to age well


She's 40 and gorgeous. Barring an accident with her fryer she's probably going to do just fine.
 
2013-09-11 01:52:12 PM  

johnny queso: Trik: for some reason I don't think she's going to age well

She's 40 and gorgeous. Barring an accident with her fryer she's probably going to do just fine.


Chris Martin got a Fark account at the speed of sound.
 
2013-09-11 02:04:54 PM  
OWNS USES
 
2013-09-11 02:06:33 PM  
Oh crap! No, I'm not trying to use an open and undetermined HTML tag!

Take 2 - OWNS does not mean USES
 
2013-09-11 02:07:16 PM  
biatchy or not I'd like to put something in her deep fryer. If you know what I mean.

/Nudge nudge wink wink
 
2013-09-11 02:12:57 PM  

oldfarthenry: She's 'merikun for Christ's sake!
Asking a yank to live without one is like asking them to live without lungs!


She's also married to an English person, and they can't live without fatty oils; it's what keeps their teeth crooked and their skin sallow.
 
2013-09-11 02:17:22 PM  
We all are just jellus!!  Yeah, that's it.  Gotta look in that mirror again.
 
2013-09-11 02:20:40 PM  
Check out the link where she cuts off the school bus with her Vespa.  She picks up her kids from the bus on a Vespa?   What a douche.
 
2013-09-11 02:22:13 PM  

Buttknuckle: johnny queso: Trik: for some reason I don't think she's going to age well

She's 40 and gorgeous. Barring an accident with her fryer she's probably going to do just fine.

Chris Martin got a Fark account at the speed of sound.


Had it for a while. Got my eye on you wankers.
 
2013-09-11 02:43:05 PM  
I wish I had a deep frier but then I'd probably die within a month or two from eating french fries with mayo all day long.
 
2013-09-11 03:16:26 PM  

Rip Dashrock: Gwyneth Paltrow was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple.


I'd hit a triple with her, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
 
2013-09-11 03:21:34 PM  

talkertopc: I wish I had a deep frier but then I'd probably die within a month or two from eating french fries with mayo all day long.


Meh. A buddy at work had one that he had used twice. Didn't need it, so he gave it to me. I made fried chicken in it ONCE. It's been sitting -untouched- in the cupboard ever since. I thought I'd be deep frying everything except the dog...

Also...Gwenneth has never done it for me. Not sure why...probably the sharpness of her knees, or something.
 
2013-09-11 03:22:31 PM  
Is it just like a fry daddy or an industrial size massive appliance?  Her kitchen probably stinks when she uses it either way.
 
2013-09-11 03:39:18 PM  
How else was she going to gain all that weight for Shallow Hal?
 
2013-09-11 03:52:19 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
[i52.photobucket.com image 850x1221]


I'm amazed there was no cries of outrage over this movie.
 
2013-09-11 03:58:41 PM  
I would have sexual intercourse with her if you know what I mean.
 
2013-09-11 04:32:43 PM  

CygnusDarius: Crewmannumber6: Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
[i52.photobucket.com image 850x1221]

I'm amazed there was no cries of outrage over this movie.


Nobody saw it
 
2013-09-11 04:59:16 PM  

CygnusDarius: Crewmannumber6: Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
[i52.photobucket.com image 850x1221]

I'm amazed there was no cries of outrage over this movie.


I think the outraged people stopped watching about five minutes in.
 
2013-09-11 05:03:49 PM  
 
2013-09-11 05:05:45 PM  

CygnusDarius: Crewmannumber6: Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
[i52.photobucket.com image 850x1221]

I'm amazed there was no cries of outrage over this movie.


It was a limited release on 15 screens and simultaneous VOD with nearly no promotion. You have to have public awareness before you can have public outrage.
 
2013-09-11 05:23:51 PM  
Frying things, if done properly, isnt as bad as people think. Your 'healthy' oven baked potato wedges tossed with half a cup of olive oil so they actually get a little crispy probably soaked up most of that oil vs some fries that were fried at/for a proper temperature/time so the steam pressure kept any oil from being absorbed and drained well. If something if fried skillfully it wont be greasy. If fried food soaked up as much oil as everybody thinks, restaurants would have to keep constantly topping off the deep fryer throughout service, which i can assure you is not the case.
 
2013-09-11 06:17:03 PM  
How else do you get that delicious batter on all those babies?
 
2013-09-11 06:17:25 PM  

ZeroCorpse: [cdn.crushable.com image 483x500]


NSFW


TY, moar!!!
 
2013-09-11 06:29:24 PM  

Cyno01: Frying things, if done properly, isnt as bad as people think. Your 'healthy' oven baked potato wedges tossed with half a cup of olive oil so they actually get a little crispy probably soaked up most of that oil vs some fries that were fried at/for a proper temperature/time so the steam pressure kept any oil from being absorbed and drained well. If something if fried skillfully it wont be greasy. If fried food soaked up as much oil as everybody thinks, restaurants would have to keep constantly topping off the deep fryer throughout service, which i can assure you is not the case.


Can't believe you are white knighting for Big (frying) Oil.

/kidding
 
2013-09-11 06:45:24 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: talkertopc: I wish I had a deep frier but then I'd probably die within a month or two from eating french fries with mayo all day long.

Meh. A buddy at work had one that he had used twice. Didn't need it, so he gave it to me. I made fried chicken in it ONCE. It's been sitting -untouched- in the cupboard ever since. I thought I'd be deep frying everything except the dog...

Also...Gwenneth has never done it for me. Not sure why...probably the sharpness of her knees, or something.


My parents had one and I frequently used it when my parents were at their vacation home. I am exaggerating when I say I would use one all day long but it would probably be at least once a week and I'd make a big portion.  I would however do Gwenneth  all day long given the opportunity, better health and the stamina from my teenage years.
 
2013-09-11 07:23:03 PM  
"I hope you noticed how nonchalantly Gwyneth admitted to being mouth-breathing, potato-frying trailer trash, because I sure did."

Wow, so eating French fries make you mouth breathing trailer trash?
 
2013-09-11 08:01:09 PM  
Anybody notice her abs in Iron Man 3?

img3.allvoices.com

She was soooooo hawt in that movie.

/Hot -- get it?
 
2013-09-11 08:06:47 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Every time I see her name, a want to go all this
[i52.photobucket.com image 850x1221]


I checked out the trailer on IMDB-- looks like an awesome movie!
 
2013-09-11 09:31:32 PM  

Riche: Anybody notice her abs in Iron Man 3?

[img3.allvoices.com image 609x480]

She was soooooo hawt in that movie.

/Hot -- get it?


Yesssssssss, first time I have ever found her attractive at all.
I understand now...
 
2013-09-12 08:57:21 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: This woman makes me torn between the desire to see her shot into the sun and the desire to savagely fark her in ways that rival Olympic events in difficulty and skill. The kind of farkery that manifests superpowers. I'd love the chance to goop in Goop, is what I'm saying. I'd just get the fark out of there before she started telling me about the joys of her "super inexpensive" $30,000 back yard artisanal pizza oven.


[whynotboth.jpg]
 
2013-09-12 07:30:58 PM  
Under British law, all British subjects are required to own a deep-fryer and to cook fish & chips while drunk at 3:00 am.

It's the only way to clear out old housing so they can put up new housing with novelties such as plumbing that works, hot water, and insulation.

Even the Queen has to deep-fry drunk at least once a month. She is very careful, however, and has not burned down Buckingham Palace yet. She has, however, set fire to Windsor Castle. That was her annus horribilus, which is French for horrible onion rings.
 
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