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(SB Nation) Video What's the only thing more tragic than a tale of imprisonment, selling teeth and hair, orphaned children, doomed revolution and suicide? The Cleveland Browns   (sbnation.com) divider line 36
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1673 clicks; posted to Video » on 11 Sep 2013 at 12:08 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-11 12:12:48 PM
That was terrible.
 
2013-09-11 12:15:51 PM
That was reality.

/Go Tribe.
 
2013-09-11 12:22:18 PM
Why? Reigning Super Bowl Champs?

/oh yeah....
 
2013-09-11 12:57:36 PM
[factory_of_sadness.mov]
 
2013-09-11 01:03:41 PM
Well, there's always this: "12 days of a Cleveland browns Christmas"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s6lkPh9-aQ

/Actually still have the 45
// Kardiac kids FTW!
///gawd I'm old
 
2013-09-11 01:05:48 PM
img.photobucket.com

There are three things that are certain:  death, taxes, and God hating Cleveland.
 
2013-09-11 01:06:01 PM
In the fall of 1986 Cleveland voters decided that a single VHS camera would be shared between the community, and mandated that within the borders of the city only that particular camera should be used to make any kind of motion picture, from that day forward.
 
2013-09-11 01:20:03 PM
www.joeydevilla.com
 
2013-09-11 01:24:12 PM
i5.minus.com
 
2013-09-11 01:32:27 PM
What did you expect from something called "The Laughter League"?
 
2013-09-11 01:39:47 PM
The Browns have been a joke for almost the entire time they re-entered the league, yet Sunday's attendance was 71,513.  They even had an attendance percentage of 91% last year, when they finished 5-11

The Indians, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot, are barely drawing 10k per game.   I've read plenty of Indians-related comments on cleveland.com about how "we've been disappointed too many times", and "we won't attend until they're a proven winner".

I guess that doesn't apply to the Browns.

Keep supporting the Browns, Cleveland.  Over the last 20 years, the Tribe has put a better team on the field far more times than the Clowns have.
 
2013-09-11 02:03:49 PM
Will Fark ever tire of hating Cleveland? It's like beating up a cripple at this point, one that you've already thrown to the ground and can't defend himself. And it's not like he's even done anything to you but be bad at football.

Let him up already, Fark. You're just kicking him while he's down.
 
2013-09-11 02:22:06 PM

The Crepes of Wrath: The Browns have been a joke for almost the entire time they re-entered the league, yet Sunday's attendance was 71,513.  They even had an attendance percentage of 91% last year, when they finished 5-11

The Indians, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot, are barely drawing 10k per game.   I've read plenty of Indians-related comments on cleveland.com about how "we've been disappointed too many times", and "we won't attend until they're a proven winner".

I guess that doesn't apply to the Browns.

Keep supporting the Browns, Cleveland.  Over the last 20 years, the Tribe has put a better team on the field far more times than the Clowns have.


The reason for this is simple. The Cleveland Browns, despite non-stop front office blunders by ownership, have always spent money they thought could create a winning franchise, and failing that, at least build excitement. They consistently have the previous 2-3 coaches on payroll, as opposed to saving money and letting the lame duck coaches finish their contracts.

The Indians under the Dolan ownership have cut payroll, and let our key players walk, starting with Jim Thome, who we embraced. I get we are a small market, but they have consistently been cited as an extremely profitable team. This current season they overpaid a few players in back-loaded contracts in an obvious sign they want to sell the team.
 
2013-09-11 02:26:10 PM

js34603: Will Fark ever tire of hating Cleveland? It's like beating up a cripple at this point, one that you've already thrown to the ground and can't defend himself. And it's not like he's even done anything to you but be bad at football.

Let him up already, Fark. You're just kicking him while he's down.


It is more pity than hate. Fark recognizes and feels bad that while God is said to be nice, he just hates that place with a passion.
 
2013-09-11 02:30:13 PM

js34603: Will Fark ever tire of hating Cleveland? It's like beating up a cripple at this point, one that you've already thrown to the ground and can't defend himself. And it's not like he's even done anything to you but be bad at football.


Cleveland reminds me of this one PFC we used to have that challenged one of our Sgts to grapple in the warehouse, would get choked out until he started tapping out, then immediately upon tapping out, he would say "again!" and the sergeant choked him out again, then he got up and said "again!", though, until everyone eventually got bored of watching him get his ass kicked...but he'd never stop trying to get the fight.

If they ever stopped saying "again!" by acting as though this year was going to be different, then we'd probably stop picking on them.
 
2013-09-11 02:41:17 PM
good time to post....Cleveland's woes!


1. 1954. The Catch. The great Willie Mays runs down a 420 shot to center field in sensational fashion preserving a 2-2 tie. Giants go on to sweep the world series.
2. 1976. Jim Chones breaks his foot in practice, cavs sunk in playoffs
3. 1981. Red Right 88. Even though they were in field goal range (13 yard line) for a winning kick, sipe tosses an interception in the end zone, Browns loose 14-12. Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.
4. 1987. The Drive. 98 yard drive by Elway tied the game with 37 seconds left. Browns lose in overtime.
5. 1988. The Fumble.  With 1:12 left in the game, running back Earnest Byner appeared to be on his way to score the game-tying touchdown, but lost a fumble at the 3-yard line.  Byner traded to Washington the next year and wins a super bowl for them.
6. 1989. The Shot. Micheal Jordan's iconic shot at the buzzer in game 5. Craig Ehlo inconsolable.
7. 1994. Brad Daugherty career ended because of back problems at 26.
8. 1994. Cleveland Indians finally have a winning record. The season ended with a strike.
9. 1995. Indians lose in World Series to Atlanta in 6 games.
10. 1996. Best record in baseball, lose to Baltimore in 4 games.
11. 1996. Browns and Art Modell leave Cleveland and move to Baltimore.
12. 1997. World Series, game 7. Indians have the lead in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs when Jose Mesa(1.12 ERA 46 saves) falls apart on the mound and lets the Marlins tie the game. In the bottom of the 11th, 4 time gold glove winner and 5 time all-star Tony Fernadez muffs a sure double play.  Edgar Rentería ended the game with a single.
13. 1999. Browns back in Cleveland. Draft Tim Couch 1st overall.  Draft bust.
14. 2000. Browns draft Courney Brown 1st overall.  Draft bust.
15. 2001. Browns draft Gerard Warren 3rd overall.  Draft bust.
16. 2001. The Ravens and Art Modell win the Super Bowl for Baltimore.
17. 2002. Browns draft William Green 16th overall.  Alcoholic Draft bust.
18. 2002. Browns finally make the playoffs and have a 22 point 4th quarter lead against rival Pittsburgh and lose.
19. 2003. Browns draft Jeff Faine 21st overall, does nothing for cleveland.  Traded to saints where he becomes a probowl center.
20. 2004. Browns draft Kellen Winslow. 2 games into season he breaks his leg. Lost for year.
21. 2005. Kellen winslow blows his knee out in a motorcycle accident, lost for the year.
22. 2005. Browns draft Braylon Edwards 3rd overall. Blows knee out, lost for the year.
23. 2006. LeCharles Bentley, top rated free agent signs huge contract with Cleveland.  During the first play of the first practice he tore his patellar tendon and ended his career.
24. 2007. Cavs get swept in Finals.
25. 2008-2009. Cleveland trades not one, but 2 Cy young winners(CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee) to New York and Philly. Both pitchers meet each other in the world series.
26. 2009. Cavs roll in playoffs, stopped by Orlando.
27. 2010. Best record in NBA.  Lose to  Celtics.
28. 2010 Lebron leaves Cleveland for Miami.
 
2013-09-11 02:43:31 PM

highrye: That was terrible.

 
2013-09-11 02:44:07 PM
Cleveland: Tied for First in AFC North

End times, man.  End times.
 
2013-09-11 02:44:45 PM
God doesn't hate the Browns, or even Cleveland.  They exist purely for amusement for his whimsy.  Cleveland has the Rock N Roll HOF, Canton, OH is relatively nearby, Cedar Point and for fark's sake, they had Jim Brown.  For that alone, Cleveland will probably never see a championship.  It's quite sad, but Cleveland has forever angered the football gods by having the best player EVAR on their team, only for him to retire before even reaching his prime ...

No, God hates the Bills.  In fact, God hates Buffalo, period.  They've suffered Dick Jauron, 4 straight Super Bowl losses, T.O., the Rob Johnson/Doug Flutie civil war, O.J. Simpson and Ryan Fitzpatrick.  That, my friends, is what you call seething, Biblical, sky raining frogs hatred.
 
2013-09-11 02:50:06 PM

ltdanman44: good time to post....Cleveland's woes!


wow.  I retract my statement.  That almost brought me to tears.
 
2013-09-11 03:05:19 PM
OK, that was pretty groanworthy (not to mention horribly out of tune), but I did laugh pretty hard when I realized that the Thénardiers were Steelers fans.

/they totally would be IRL
 
2013-09-11 03:15:22 PM

ltdanman44: good time to post....Cleveland's woes!


1. 1954. The Catch. The great Willie Mays runs down a 420 shot to center field in sensational fashion preserving a 2-2 tie. Giants go on to sweep the world series.
2. 1976. Jim Chones breaks his foot in practice, cavs sunk in playoffs
3. 1981. Red Right 88. Even though they were in field goal range (13 yard line) for a winning kick, sipe tosses an interception in the end zone, Browns loose 14-12. Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.
4. 1987. The Drive. 98 yard drive by Elway tied the game with 37 seconds left. Browns lose in overtime.
5. 1988. The Fumble.  With 1:12 left in the game, running back Earnest Byner appeared to be on his way to score the game-tying touchdown, but lost a fumble at the 3-yard line.  Byner traded to Washington the next year and wins a super bowl for them.
6. 1989. The Shot. Micheal Jordan's iconic shot at the buzzer in game 5. Craig Ehlo inconsolable.
7. 1994. Brad Daugherty career ended because of back problems at 26.
8. 1994. Cleveland Indians finally have a winning record. The season ended with a strike.
9. 1995. Indians lose in World Series to Atlanta in 6 games.
10. 1996. Best record in baseball, lose to Baltimore in 4 games.
11. 1996. Browns and Art Modell leave Cleveland and move to Baltimore.
12. 1997. World Series, game 7. Indians have the lead in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs when Jose Mesa(1.12 ERA 46 saves) falls apart on the mound and lets the Marlins tie the game. In the bottom of the 11th, 4 time gold glove winner and 5 time all-star Tony Fernadez muffs a sure double play.  Edgar Rentería ended the game with a single.
13. 1999. Browns back in Cleveland. Draft Tim Couch 1st overall.  Draft bust.
14. 2000. Browns draft Courney Brown 1st overall.  Draft bust.
15. 2001. Browns draft Gerard Warren 3rd overall.  Draft bust.
16. 2001. The Ravens and Art Modell win the Super Bowl for Baltimore.
17. 2002. Browns draft William Green 16th overall.  Alcoholic Draft bust.
18. 2002. Browns fina ...


Not athletics, but you forgot about the time the river caught fire. Surely Cleveland is Hell on Earth if it can boast rivers of fire. Just gotta work on turning Erie into a lake of fire and brimstone to finish the job.
 
2013-09-11 03:18:49 PM

ltdanman44: good time to post....Cleveland's woes!


1. 1954. The Catch. The great Willie Mays runs down a 420 shot to center field in sensational fashion preserving a 2-2 tie. Giants go on to sweep the world series.
2. 1976. Jim Chones breaks his foot in practice, cavs sunk in playoffs
3. 1981. Red Right 88. Even though they were in field goal range (13 yard line) for a winning kick, sipe tosses an interception in the end zone, Browns loose 14-12. Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.
4. 1987. The Drive. 98 yard drive by Elway tied the game with 37 seconds left. Browns lose in overtime.
5. 1988. The Fumble.  With 1:12 left in the game, running back Earnest Byner appeared to be on his way to score the game-tying touchdown, but lost a fumble at the 3-yard line.  Byner traded to Washington the next year and wins a super bowl for them.
6. 1989. The Shot. Micheal Jordan's iconic shot at the buzzer in game 5. Craig Ehlo inconsolable.
7. 1994. Brad Daugherty career ended because of back problems at 26.
8. 1994. Cleveland Indians finally have a winning record. The season ended with a strike.
9. 1995. Indians lose in World Series to Atlanta in 6 games.
10. 1996. Best record in baseball, lose to Baltimore in 4 games.
11. 1996. Browns and Art Modell leave Cleveland and move to Baltimore.
12. 1997. World Series, game 7. Indians have the lead in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs when Jose Mesa(1.12 ERA 46 saves) falls apart on the mound and lets the Marlins tie the game. In the bottom of the 11th, 4 time gold glove winner and 5 time all-star Tony Fernadez muffs a sure double play.  Edgar Rentería ended the game with a single.
13. 1999. Browns back in Cleveland. Draft Tim Couch 1st overall.  Draft bust.
14. 2000. Browns draft Courney Brown 1st overall.  Draft bust.
15. 2001. Browns draft Gerard Warren 3rd overall.  Draft bust.
16. 2001. The Ravens and Art Modell win the Super Bowl for Baltimore.
17. 2002. Browns draft William Green 16th overall.  Alcoholic Draft bust.
18. 2002. Browns fina ...


29. 2013 Browns bought by Jim Haslam, Jr. Haslam now under ethics and tax fraud investigation.

/forgot to include that in my previous post
 
2013-09-11 03:21:28 PM

bertor_vidas: 29. 2013 Browns bought by Jim Haslam, Jr. Haslam now under ethics and tax fraud investigation.


updated. thx
 
2013-09-11 03:35:09 PM
also forgot about the 2007 indians.  they had a 3 games to 1 series lead on the Red Sox only to lose the last 3 games by combined score of 30 to 5.
 
2013-09-11 04:07:07 PM

Dr. Kefarkian: God doesn't hate the Browns, or even Cleveland.  They exist purely for amusement for his whimsy.  Cleveland has the Rock N Roll HOF, Canton, OH is relatively nearby, Cedar Point and for fark's sake, they had Jim Brown.  For that alone, Cleveland will probably never see a championship.  It's quite sad, but Cleveland has forever angered the football gods by having the best player EVAR on their team, only for him to retire before even reaching his prime ...

No, God hates the Bills.  In fact, God hates Buffalo, period.  They've suffered Dick Jauron, 4 straight Super Bowl losses, T.O., the Rob Johnson/Doug Flutie civil war, O.J. Simpson and Ryan Fitzpatrick.  That, my friends, is what you call seething, Biblical, sky raining frogs hatred.


Do you know why he retired while in his prime?  He wanted to pursue his movie career.  Despite doing a number of his own stunts I'm sure The Dirty Dozen paid about as well as playing football and less strenuous on the body.
 
2013-09-11 04:12:10 PM

ltdanman44: 18. 2002. Browns finally make the playoffs and have a 22 point 4th quarter lead against rival Pittsburgh and lose.


You might say "division opponent" because rival doesn't mean what you think it means.
 
2013-09-11 04:15:33 PM
"America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans.
Everywhere else is Cleveland." ~ Tennessee Williams
 
2013-09-11 04:17:34 PM

UNC_Samurai: Dr. Kefarkian: God doesn't hate the Browns, or even Cleveland.  They exist purely for amusement for his whimsy.  Cleveland has the Rock N Roll HOF, Canton, OH is relatively nearby, Cedar Point and for fark's sake, they had Jim Brown.  For that alone, Cleveland will probably never see a championship.  It's quite sad, but Cleveland has forever angered the football gods by having the best player EVAR on their team, only for him to retire before even reaching his prime ...

No, God hates the Bills.  In fact, God hates Buffalo, period.  They've suffered Dick Jauron, 4 straight Super Bowl losses, T.O., the Rob Johnson/Doug Flutie civil war, O.J. Simpson and Ryan Fitzpatrick.  That, my friends, is what you call seething, Biblical, sky raining frogs hatred.

Do you know why he retired while in his prime?  He wanted to pursue his movie career.  Despite doing a number of his own stunts I'm sure The Dirty Dozen paid about as well as playing football and less strenuous on the body.


He retired because Art Modell, the Browns owner and de facto GM, said "Leave filming and report to training camp or be fined."

Pot Pie Man: The Crepes of Wrath: The Browns have been a joke for almost the entire time they re-entered the league, yet Sunday's attendance was 71,513.  They even had an attendance percentage of 91% last year, when they finished 5-11

The Indians, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot, are barely drawing 10k per game.   I've read plenty of Indians-related comments on cleveland.com about how "we've been disappointed too many times", and "we won't attend until they're a proven winner".

I guess that doesn't apply to the Browns.

Keep supporting the Browns, Cleveland.  Over the last 20 years, the Tribe has put a better team on the field far more times than the Clowns have.

The reason for this is simple. The Cleveland Browns, despite non-stop front office blunders by ownership, have always spent money they thought could create a winning franchise, and failing that, at least build excitement. They consistently have the previous 2-3 coaches on payroll, as opposed to saving money and letting the lame duck coaches finish their contracts.

The Indians under the Dolan ownership have cut payroll, and let our key players walk, starting with Jim Thome, who we embraced. I get we are a small market, but they have consistently been cited as an extremely profitable team. This current season they overpaid a few players in back-loaded contracts in an obvious sign they want to sell the team.


I think the Browns (first place in the AFC North! I don't know how long I can say that, so I'll use it as long as I can) keep drawing fans because of abandonment issues. "Maybe if we show up, they won't leave us this time!"
 
2013-09-11 05:14:32 PM
Good lord that was some awful drafting in the early 2000s.
 
2013-09-11 05:33:35 PM

NotoriousW.O.P: He retired because Art Modell, the Browns owner and de facto GM, said "Leave filming and report to training camp or be fined."


In retrospect, he's a lot better off mentally than a lot of the guys he played with and against.  Modell in his infinite wisdom may have inadvertently done him a favor.
 
2013-09-11 07:05:15 PM
Pot Pie Man:

The Indians under the Dolan ownership have cut payroll

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-11 07:30:02 PM

The Crepes of Wrath: The Browns have been a joke for almost the entire time they re-entered the league, yet Sunday's attendance was 71,513.  They even had an attendance percentage of 91% last year, when they finished 5-11

The Indians, who are in the hunt for a playoff spot, are barely drawing 10k per game.   I've read plenty of Indians-related comments on cleveland.com about how "we've been disappointed too many times", and "we won't attend until they're a proven winner".

I guess that doesn't apply to the Browns.

Keep supporting the Browns, Cleveland.  Over the last 20 years, the Tribe has put a better team on the field far more times than the Clowns have.


Eight home games usually played every Sunday so people can make last minute decisions or plan outings way in advance.

Eighty-one home games, played every day of the week, some day some night, rainouts, etc.

You figure if the Browns average 71,000 that's 570,000 for the year.
The Tribe draws 10,000 a game, that equals 810,000 for the year.
 
2013-09-11 08:49:36 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: [img.photobucket.com image 167x226]

There are three things that are certain:  death, taxes, and God hating Cleveland.


Thats like saying God hates Jesus.     More likely is, God gives the blue-collar inhabitants of Cleveland struggle because he knows they can handle it.
 
2013-09-11 09:23:23 PM

ltdanman44: 3. 1981. Red Right 88. Even though they were in field goal range (13 yard line) for a winning kick, sipe tosses an interception in the end zone, Browns loose 14-12. Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl


In fairness Cocroft had missed a PAT and a FG so putting it in Sipe's hands for a play to Ozzie Newsome where he's defended by the guy with the worst hands in the Raider secondary wasn't the worst idea ever.
 
2013-09-12 12:31:00 AM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
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