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(Telegraph)   Caption this conversation with a rhino   (i.telegraph.co.uk) divider line 26
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2087 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Sep 2013 at 6:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-11 11:00:20 AM
Original:
i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-09-11 02:44:23 PM
I'm so horny.
 
2013-09-11 06:01:50 PM
How about we just fund this Obamacare thing and be done with it?
 
2013-09-11 06:07:17 PM
Who's a squooga woogums? WHO'S A WIDDA SQUOOGA WOOGUMS?
 
2013-09-11 06:10:17 PM
Soon.
 
2013-09-11 06:11:29 PM
I can't BELIEVE you would consider a compromise!  Consider yourself primaried.
 
2013-09-11 06:13:18 PM
"My horn will do nothing for you, not that it matters."
 
2013-09-11 06:14:02 PM
Think outside the box.
 
2013-09-11 06:23:17 PM
Two words, Plea Bargain.
 
2013-09-11 06:28:31 PM
"She sure looked like she was at least 8 to me."
 
2013-09-11 06:28:52 PM
"Dude, what the f*ck did you do?!?!"

Now with voting.
 
2013-09-11 06:32:07 PM
"DId somebody say my name?"

/now with voting, because mobile in a voting thread = derp.
 
2013-09-11 06:44:01 PM
Rhino: Lenny, you gotta get me outta here. I don't wanna go to federal P.I.T.A. prison.
Lenny: Well you should have thought about that before you sat on that judge's car and caved the hood in.
Rhino: What? I was tired man. It'd been a long day and that looked like a nice spot. How was I s'posed to know.
Lenny: Dude you were drunk as balls. You trashed the judge's car and then ripped open a 7-11 and ate everything in the snack aisle. It looks like a bomb went off down there. And the cops are not happy about the cruiser you demolished either.
Rhino: Well they shouldn't have tazed me. So you're gonna get me outta here right?
Lenny: .......
Rhino: What?
Lenny: The judge wants to have you deported.
Rhino: That's not so bad I guess.
Lenny: To China!
Rhino: Oh fark! Man some people got no sense of humor.
 
2013-09-11 06:44:23 PM
"Look, I don't have time to explain.  Just glue a box of Viagra to my face before that Chinese tour group gets here."
 
2013-09-11 06:52:43 PM
Go back to Dumbo and tell him I'm not interested in founding an American Rhino Party. Who needs it? You've already got the Democrats.
 
2013-09-11 06:56:03 PM
Where do I stand politically? You can ask Joe Lieberman if you can get his head out of my a**.
 
2013-09-11 07:01:41 PM
Are you a lone rhinoceros? Are there not a whole hell of a lot of us?

Sure. And who are you, grandpa? Adrian Ballew?
 
2013-09-11 07:03:19 PM
The rhino is the self-appointed fire-prevention officer. When he sees a fire, he rushes in and stamps it out.
 
2013-09-11 07:11:57 PM
Hey buddy. I am actually a beautiful woman. I am imprisoned in the Rhino body because I bought a cursed rhino hand bag and a frogurt. Which was also cursed. Only the kiss of a real man can restore me to my former self. Oh, how I would reward such a man. My beauty, it was said, almost as great as my wealth. I would give the man who released me from this curse a night of pleasure that many kings and princes have dreamed of. We're talking all ports open. Then, after a breakfast fit for a king, I would take my rescuer shopping for the cars of his choice. Yeah. Cars. Then, if he desires, we shall make love once again aboard his brand new yacht. So, what do you say? One kiss and it will all be yours.
(smack)

Huh. Nothing happened. I guess you're not a real man. What? Are you wearing a thong? Is you mommy the only one in your cell phone contact list? All I asked for was a real man to release me from this living hell. But no, you got to be some metrosexual, thong wearing mommy issue creep. Thanks, creep. Thanks for nuttin'.
 
2013-09-11 07:19:17 PM
With THIS?  Geez, ever since the Horta, they think we can mind-meld with anything!
 
2013-09-11 09:27:23 PM
Rhino: "Don't tell anybody, but I think I've fallen madly in love with the Elephant in cage 27-B over there."
Human: "What? That's crazy! Even if it works out, what about your kids, what would they be like?"
Rhino: "Elephino."
 
2013-09-11 09:57:42 PM
Yeah...well its a jungle out here too
 
2013-09-11 11:14:17 PM
The ad said "Rhino Modeler."

/cad geek
 
2013-09-12 03:39:19 AM
So...who did your nose job, and what's the scientific name for such a procedure?
 
2013-09-12 01:30:24 PM
Sorry Mr. Scarborough, but you put yourself in this cage when you went to MSNBC.
 
2013-09-12 03:01:22 PM
Okay now, YOU are Mr. Boeuf, and I am Berenger for this read-thru.
 
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