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(Christian Science Monitor)   Finally an anwer to the question that no one, anywhere, has ever asked: What does Chuck Norris think we should do about the Syria situation?   (csmonitor.com) divider line 81
    More: Strange, Chuck Norris, roundhouse kick, Scud missile  
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1286 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Sep 2013 at 1:17 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-11 12:32:54 PM
For the record: Roundhouse-kicking a bomb filled with Sarin gas is a VERY bad idea.
 
2013-09-11 12:52:19 PM
America can't afford to go around the world acting as a Force of One. Our troops are not just Expendable pawns on the world stage, and we'll never really be Top Dog internationally until we give up our role as the Hitman for the rest of the first world.
 
2013-09-11 12:55:06 PM
Things I will listen respectfully to Chuck Norris' opinion on:
1) How to dig discarded scripts from Stallone's dumpster
2) What Bruce Lee's feet taste like
 
2013-09-11 01:15:44 PM
Stay thirsty, my friends.
 
2013-09-11 01:15:46 PM
So how's the old guy faring in this first of the Thousand Years of Darkness?
 
2013-09-11 01:19:13 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't fear chemical weapons.  On Taco Tuesday.... his ass becomes one.
 
2013-09-11 01:19:23 PM
I'm guessing Fox News has Chuck Norris on speed-dial.
 
2013-09-11 01:22:05 PM
Only 2 things wrong with this article; Christian Science Monitor and Chuck Norris.
Two opinions I could live without.
 
2013-09-11 01:22:12 PM
I know Norris is a whacked-out right winger, but his opinion on this one issue doesn't seem to be all that bad, unless I am missing something (which is quite possible). And I love it that the right wingers are saying "let the UN handle it!" as if they had any respect for the UN previously.
 
2013-09-11 01:23:30 PM
All I want to know from him is when to expect the 1000 years of darkness... because I'm kinda looking forward to that shiat.
 
2013-09-11 01:23:41 PM
It's obvious what we should do: the opposite of whatever Obama proposes.
 
2013-09-11 01:23:56 PM

monoski: Only 2 things wrong with this article; Christian Science Monitor and Chuck Norris.
Two opinions I could live without.


For as completely farked up a religion as Christian Science is, the CSM is actually pretty independent from it and a respected news source.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:11 PM
show me: And I love it that the right wingers are saying "let the UN handle it!" as if they had any respect for the UN previously.

They're probably being ironic; I doubt they care whether anyone handles it.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:31 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Things I will listen respectfully to Chuck Norris' opinion on:
1) How to dig discarded scripts from Stallone's dumpster
2) What Bruce Lee's feet taste like


I don't know. The man DOES know how to sell average workout equipment via infomercials.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:38 PM

monoski: Only 2 things wrong with this article; Christian Science Monitor and Chuck Norris.
Two opinions I could live without.


CNS is actually a pretty good news publication. Why they decided to make space even to poke fun at an obvious doofus like Chuck Norris is a mystery.
 
2013-09-11 01:25:14 PM

UrukHaiGuyz: America can't afford to go around the world acting as a Force of One. Our troops are not just Expendable pawns on the world stage, and we'll never really be Top Dog internationally until we give up our role as the Hitman for the rest of the first world.


Culture Club songs from the 80s?
 
2013-09-11 01:25:18 PM

Fart_Machine: monoski: Only 2 things wrong with this article; Christian Science Monitor and Chuck Norris.
Two opinions I could live without.

CNS is actually a pretty good news publication. Why they decided to make space even to poke fun at an obvious doofus like Chuck Norris is a mystery.


Er CSM.
 
2013-09-11 01:27:16 PM
I'm still waiting patiently for my thousand years of darkness.

And my flying car.
 
2013-09-11 01:27:37 PM
So getting the Syrians to give up chemical weapons without firing a shot was a disaster? Got it.

/meh
 
2013-09-11 01:28:05 PM
I'm glad we have Alex Jones and Chuck Norris' opinions greenlit. How about someone who's opinion actually matters?

McCain: Rebels Fighting Assad Feel Abandoned By U.S.

Sen. John McCain said Wednesday he worries that the cause of rebels fighting Syria's President Bashar Assad has been obscured in the rapid-fire military and diplomatic events following a chemical weapons attack near Damascus.

"I feel very badly for my friends in the Free Syrian Army today," McCain said.


Obama:  I have resisted calls for military action, because we cannot resolve someone else's civil war through force, particularly after a decade of war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

McCain: Screw that, let's get em, boys!

/McCain has a lot of "friends"
 
2013-09-11 01:28:44 PM
If Bruce Lee ever comes back to life, I'm going to tell him Chuck Norris killed his master.
 
2013-09-11 01:30:40 PM
Any born again, injun hatin' cigar pushing asshole can have an opinion.
/kicked his ass in '79 and would kick it again.
 
2013-09-11 01:32:18 PM
1.) Don't unilaterally draw red lines dealing with any country that is not an imminent threat to the US.
2.) Tell the public you won't go it alone against Syria.
3.) Present real evidence to gather as much international and congressional support as you can.
4.) If you have majority support, decide together (with Congress and the UN, presumably) on the best course of action.

 As hypocritical as it is for a republican/teabagger to say these things, it is a good way to operate regarding syria.
 
2013-09-11 01:32:40 PM
Another fist.
 
2013-09-11 01:35:12 PM
Futhermarker's a traitor.
 
2013-09-11 01:36:10 PM
So what does Victoria Jackson think about this subject since we're probing the minds of today's conservative intellectuals.
 
2013-09-11 01:37:19 PM

Car_Ramrod: I'm glad we have Alex Jones and Chuck Norris' opinions greenlit. How about someone who's opinion actually matters?

McCain: Rebels Fighting Assad Feel Abandoned By U.S.

Sen. John McCain said Wednesday he worries that the cause of rebels fighting Syria's President Bashar Assad has been obscured in the rapid-fire military and diplomatic events following a chemical weapons attack near Damascus.

"I feel very badly for my friends in the Free Syrian Army today," McCain said.

Obama:  I have resisted calls for military action, because we cannot resolve someone else's civil war through force, particularly after a decade of war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

McCain: Screw that, let's get em, boys!

/McCain has a lot of "friends"


I feel bad for the rebels, but to be completely honest, they're not the sort of people we should be supporting in the first place.  Violent religious fundamentalists do not make for the best allies over the long term.

In all truth, mr rebel, we don't like you.  You're too much like the Taliban and AQ for us to really like and we know you don't really like us.  So, let's not pretend like you're the second coming of the Founding Fathers.
 
2013-09-11 01:38:16 PM

Fart_Machine: So what does Victoria Jackson think about this subject since we're probing the minds of today's conservative intellectuals.


lol
 
2013-09-11 01:39:15 PM

theknuckler_33: All I want to know from him is when to expect the 1000 years of darkness... because I'm kinda looking forward to that shiat.


If the "1000 years of darkness" involves Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara taking turns sitting on my face, I'm down with that, too.
 
2013-09-11 01:40:07 PM
With Norris "assigned" to Syria and Dennis Rodman covering Best Korea, I propose that the following celebs be sent to the remainder of the world's hot spots:

Libya: Joan Rivers
Egypt: Carrot Top
Tunisia: Charo
Congo: Ryan Seacrest
 
2013-09-11 01:42:20 PM
Since Chuck Norris is nothing but a right-wing shill, I'm assuming that his opinion on what to do in Syria is basically "the opposite of whatever Obama wants to do at the moment."

Seriously, the Syria thing is hilarious for one reason - it has all the chickenhawks and neocons from a decade ago suddenly demanding concrete evidence of WMD use before we do anything, and demanding that we build international consensus and work with our allies and the United Nations.  They want us to work with the UN!

Not that I necessarily disagree, it's just a hilarious about-face.
 
2013-09-11 01:42:39 PM

Apos: With Norris "assigned" to Syria and Dennis Rodman covering Best Korea, I propose that the following celebs be sent to the remainder of the world's hot spots:

Libya: Joan Rivers
Egypt: Carrot Top
Tunisia: Charo
Congo: Ryan Seacrest


that's just mean, what did Egypt do to you!
 
2013-09-11 01:42:53 PM
The takeaway lesson from this is that even retarded internet memes are not immune to the law of unintended consequences.
 
2013-09-11 01:45:30 PM
Who cares?  Chuck Norris ain't no hero, he just played one on TV.  Ever read his online blog?  He's a fundie nut.  He thinks our country is falling apart because... wait for it... public schools don't teach based on the christian bible.

Now, if they asked Guy Galbadon what he thought about it all, then I'd listen.
 
2013-09-11 01:45:34 PM
That's not Chuck Norris. That's Carlos Norris.

There's a difference.
 
2013-09-11 01:46:38 PM

Doc Daneeka: Since Chuck Norris is nothing but a right-wing shill, I'm assuming that his opinion on what to do in Syria is basically "the opposite of whatever Obama wants to do at the moment."

Seriously, the Syria thing is hilarious for one reason - it has all the chickenhawks and neocons from a decade ago suddenly demanding concrete evidence of WMD use before we do anything, and demanding that we build international consensus and work with our allies and the United Nations.  They want us to work with the UN!

Not that I necessarily disagree, it's just a hilarious about-face.


It's actually funnier than that.

GOP didn't just demand concessions for this authorization of war, but demanded that we twist it from being a Libya-style thing into an Iraq-style thing.  Boots on the ground, solid support for the AQ-aligned rebels that some of them were squealing over a few weeks before, the whole mess.

And when diplomacy happened on Monday, the GOP suddenly found itself in a tailspin.  Obama didn't 'really' need that authorization anymore and the GOP started pushing 'hard' to get their concessions even as Obama started going "You know, you guys can sit back and wait a bit on that vote, okay?  Might not need it after all."

At the end of it all, though, due to McCain's silliness, we at least can see where America would be right now if they'd elected McCain/Pain in 2008.

Neck-deep in Syria.
 
2013-09-11 01:46:54 PM

Spaced Lion: That's not Chuck Norris. That's Carlos Norris.

There's a difference.


It's Carlos Danger
 
2013-09-11 01:47:00 PM
We currently experiencing 1000 years of darkness According to Chuck?
 
2013-09-11 01:50:01 PM

Doc Daneeka: Since Chuck Norris is nothing but a right-wing shill, I'm assuming that his opinion on what to do in Syria is basically "the opposite of whatever Obama wants to do at the moment."

Seriously, the Syria thing is hilarious for one reason - it has all the chickenhawks and neocons from a decade ago suddenly demanding concrete evidence of WMD use before we do anything, and demanding that we build international consensus and work with our allies and the United Nations.  They want us to work with the UN!

Not that I necessarily disagree, it's just a hilarious about-face.


It is also funny that Oblamo wants the exact same things. Its like the super double reverse psychology method.
 
2013-09-11 01:53:11 PM
All those years Chuck wasted on Walker, Texas Ranger, he could have used in bringing about world peace.
 
2013-09-11 01:53:47 PM

Wadded Beef: I'm guessing Fox News has Chuck Norris on speed-dial

 ball wash
 
2013-09-11 01:55:53 PM
I had a discussion last night that briefly touched on the subject of the use of a single nuclear weapon in the region. I argued that the perpetrator might actually get away with the first one.

"You think the Russians might do something to cause a nuclear exchange?"
"Have you looked at the Russians lately? They're a bunch of depressed nihilists who might welcome the warmth of a nuclear holocaust. Have you read their literature?"
"So you're saying they aren't all sunshine and rainbows?"
"Are you kidding? They outlawed rainbows."
 
2013-09-11 01:56:52 PM

Rann Xerox: If Bruce Lee ever comes back to life, I'm going to tell him Chuck Norris killed his master.


In real life, Norris would have likely kicked Bruce Lee's ass. He was 45 lb heavier and a legit bad ass too.
 
2013-09-11 01:57:06 PM

Car_Ramrod: I'm glad we have Alex Jones and Chuck Norris' opinions greenlit. How about someone who's opinion actually matters?

McCain: Rebels Fighting Assad Feel Abandoned By U.S.

Sen. John McCain said Wednesday he worries that the cause of rebels fighting Syria's President Bashar Assad has been obscured in the rapid-fire military and diplomatic events following a chemical weapons attack near Damascus.

"I feel very badly for my friends in the Free Syrian Army today," McCain said.

Obama:  I have resisted calls for military action, because we cannot resolve someone else's civil war through force, particularly after a decade of war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

McCain: Screw that, let's get em, boys!

/McCain has a lot of "friends"


but they were telling us just last week that those rebels were actually Al Qaeda.
why does John McCain support Al Qaeda?
 
2013-09-11 01:59:48 PM

Rann Xerox: theknuckler_33: All I want to know from him is when to expect the 1000 years of darkness... because I'm kinda looking forward to that shiat.

If the "1000 years of darkness" involves Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara taking turns sitting on my face, I'm down with that, too.


more like 1000 years of fartness
 
2013-09-11 02:02:24 PM

machoprogrammer: Rann Xerox: If Bruce Lee ever comes back to life, I'm going to tell him Chuck Norris killed his master.

In real life, Norris would have likely kicked Bruce Lee's ass. He was 45 lb heavier and a legit bad ass too.


Chuck commenting on the subject
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcl81ldNODc
 
2013-09-11 02:08:20 PM

Fart_Machine: So what does Victoria Jackson think about this subject since we're probing the minds of today's conservative intellectuals.


Whatever it is, I'm sure it will come with a poorly played ukulele accompaniment.
 
2013-09-11 02:09:59 PM

Isitoveryet: machoprogrammer: Rann Xerox: If Bruce Lee ever comes back to life, I'm going to tell him Chuck Norris killed his master.

In real life, Norris would have likely kicked Bruce Lee's ass. He was 45 lb heavier and a legit bad ass too.

Chuck commenting on the subject
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcl81ldNODc


Norris might have won. Then again Chuck fought and trained as a pro karate fighter. And while he was the best at what he did,his fighting style was limited by the rules of the contest. Bruce otoh was not limited by those rules and was well versed in tactics outside of Chuck's expertise.  It's like a heavyweight boxer going into an MMA fight against a grappler. Sure he might knock him out,but he might get taken down to the ground and all that boxing skill is suddenly useless.
 
2013-09-11 02:10:34 PM

theknuckler_33: Fart_Machine: So what does Victoria Jackson think about this subject since we're probing the minds of today's conservative intellectuals.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it will come with a poorly played ukulele accompaniment.


while standing on her head hopefully
 
2013-09-11 02:11:23 PM

Headso: Spaced Lion: That's not Chuck Norris. That's Carlos Norris.

There's a difference.

It's Carlos Danger


blogs-images.forbes.com
R.I.P. Carlos Danger
 
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