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(Gawker)   And if you're a dick all your life, your obituary will look like this. Tag is for subject's children who now crusade against child abuse   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Hero, child abuses, Reno Gazette-Journal  
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30853 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2013 at 10:45 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



160 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-10 08:54:38 PM  
Brutal.
 
2013-09-10 08:59:20 PM  
Shenanigans
 
2013-09-10 09:12:55 PM  
I wish I'd had the balls to do that for my grandmother.  I simply spit on her grave after the funeral instead.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-09-10 10:11:31 PM  
A friend of mine was duped out of a huge inheritance (from his birth family) by his stepfather.  He told his stepfather he plans to cremate him and pour his ashes into the septic tank.  He WILL do it.
 
2013-09-10 10:46:26 PM  
Whats heroic about libeling the dead?

I would venture that the apples don't fall very far from the tree.  Her children are spiteful enough to pay for a nasty obituary, but can't be bothered to proofread their drivel.

Maybe the kids aren't abusive, but they aren't heroes.
 
2013-09-10 10:47:59 PM  
NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!
 
2013-09-10 10:48:18 PM  
Damn. After reading that, I'd say those little brats deserved it.
 
2013-09-10 10:48:59 PM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?

I would venture that the apples don't fall very far from the tree.  Her children are spiteful enough to pay for a nasty obituary, but can't be bothered to proofread their drivel.

Maybe the kids aren't abusive, but they aren't heroes.


It's only libel if it isn't true.

You have no idea what kind of terror a parent can inflict on a child.
 
2013-09-10 10:49:39 PM  
Yeah, but I won't give a shiat. I plan to remain in death as I am in life - unfeeling, uncaring, and cold.
 
2013-09-10 10:57:10 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Damn. After reading that, I'd say those little brats deserved it.


I'm guessing not.

A search of Marianne's name suggests that perhaps she is the same Nevada-based Marianne Reddick who, in 1970, testified before the Nevada Equal Rights Commission that the employment agency she ran printed "White Only" on certain referrals so that black people would not mistakenly apply for jobs where they were not welcome.

Assuming she's a real person. There's no other readily available listing for a "Marianne Reddick" in Nevada, so this could be totally bogus.
 
2013-09-10 10:57:51 PM  
If you're a dick your whole life, you come back as Seth Rogen's anal beads.
 
2013-09-10 10:58:10 PM  
Reminded me of this gem...
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-10 10:59:41 PM  
 
2013-09-10 11:09:53 PM  
Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.
 
2013-09-10 11:11:36 PM  
Well, I guess it's cathartic, but it's no skin off the dead person's back. An angry obituary is kind of hollow.
 
2013-09-10 11:11:37 PM  
It's too bad it was probably written by jimmy kimmel..
 
2013-09-10 11:11:48 PM  
I am all about respecting my elders but even assholes grow old. Thankfully none of my family led me to write this obit, but many have farked up families. This might have been therapeutic to just goddamn say it once the evil biatch was gone. No harm to me or you, and they got it off their chest, with no illusions of an angel passed. They can move on and up.
 
2013-09-10 11:12:35 PM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.


That's great advice. It only becomes hard when you're the only person in the family that was terrorized by them.
 
2013-09-10 11:12:58 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I wish I'd had the balls to do that for my grandmother.  I simply spit on her grave after the funeral instead.




Huh. You too?

I didn't even realize it was an option at the time, but I wouldn't have wasted the money even acknowledging her passing. I just remember that she died alone, and that she was such a flaming biatch her whole life not one of her 5 daughters showed up to claim her body.

Think bill collectors are bad? Coroners are worse...
 
2013-09-10 11:13:06 PM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.


BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.
 
2013-09-10 11:13:41 PM  
Leaning towards shenanigans.
 
2013-09-10 11:13:56 PM  

oldtaku: Well, I guess it's cathartic, but it's no skin off the dead person's back. An angry obituary is kind of hollow.


Yeah, the dead guy got the last laugh, he's dead but now these people have to live with that bitterness and anger.

Instead of a hateful yagoogely they should have spent money on a therapist.
 
2013-09-10 11:14:07 PM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.


I clicked the "smart" button for you. Fark 'em, just because they've got a somewhat similar genetic makeup doesn't mean you owe awful people a damn thing.
 
2013-09-10 11:15:59 PM  
AverageAmericanGuy:

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.


It's called shunning and it wasn't Scientologists who invented it.
 
2013-09-10 11:16:08 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.


I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)
 
2013-09-10 11:17:42 PM  
One day at work, I was talking about buying a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice, drinking it, at pissing on my sister's grave when she died. A coworker chimed in saying that 'when my mother dies, I'm going to flush her ashes down the toilet so she can swim around with all the other turds. But not at my house. I'm gonna do it someplace real special, like Taco Bell.'s.pixogs.com
 
2013-09-10 11:19:14 PM  
Oh, ye think she's gone, but when ye die, she'll be waitin' for ye,
waitin' to reach out and grab ye with her bony dead arms
and drag ye off into a pit of fire!i.imgur.com Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
 
2013-09-10 11:20:01 PM  
I'm not writing an obituary for my mom, not  because she's awful, she's great.  None of us care about death rituals.
 
2013-09-10 11:20:58 PM  

Occam's Disposable Razor: AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)


The problem is that crazy and abusive is in the eye of the beholder.
 
2013-09-10 11:21:44 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Occam's Disposable Razor: AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)

The problem is that crazy and abusive is in the eye of the beholder.


Or the beer holder, am I right!?
 
2013-09-10 11:22:39 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: Occam's Disposable Razor: AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)

The problem is that crazy and abusive is in the eye of the beholder.

Or the beer holder, am I right!?


forums.pelicanparts.com
 
2013-09-10 11:23:57 PM  
Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.
 
2013-09-10 11:24:42 PM  

Occam's Disposable Razor: I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)


Yeah, cutting off the assholes is not Scientologist Disconnection.

However it is true, the Scientologists I know get called off to (very expensive) conferences on random dates like Thanksgiving.

"Oh, gee sorry, your family was going to get together that day? Huh. What a coincidence! How could that happen. Anyway, come on down to Clearwater."
 
2013-09-10 11:24:59 PM  
...Mom?
 
2013-09-10 11:28:52 PM  
CSS time:

My boyfriend's father was an abusive prick to him when he was a child; he beat him with extension cords with the plug end striking his skin, to the point where are are scars all over his back, the backs of his arms and legs, his ass....it's horrific.  I've met the piece of shiat a few times, and to say he's a piece of shiat is really an insult to feces.  We go up to New York over the holidays to visit his family, and we avoid him like the plague, as much as we can.

When his father dies, rather than go to the funeral, we're going to have a nice dinner at home, crack open a bottle of bubbly, and toast to the end of his nightmares, and the beginning of the rest of his life full of decent nights' sleep.  I want that more than anything.  He'll wake up some nights screaming, shaking in a cold sweat, and there's not a farking thing I can do to help him.  I hate feeling that way.  He's been to doctors, been on medication (though he loathes taking medication of any kind, even Advil), and none of it has helped.  I truly believe that diseased taint finally kicking the bucket is what needs to happen, if only to act as an exorcism of some kind.  Adam (that's my boyfriend) is 42 years old...if he's got another 50 years in him let's say, I don't want to spend a total of 63 years (we've been together 13) listening to him crying at night.  I would never leave him, but he deserves peace at some point.

/end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity
 
2013-09-10 11:30:02 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Occam's Disposable Razor: AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)

The problem is that crazy and abusive is in the eye of the beholder.


Heh what percentage of cases where people boot relatives they can't stand out of their lives would you say have anything even remotely to do with scientology?
 
2013-09-10 11:31:13 PM  
 
2013-09-10 11:33:53 PM  
showbizgeek.com
I miss ya, ma. Rest in Peace.
 
2013-09-10 11:34:43 PM  
Finally, an honest obit.
 
2013-09-10 11:36:10 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-10 11:36:34 PM  
I can understand the impulse to write an obit like this. In my experience truly nasty people have a tendency to never admit they did anything wrong and to make themselves the victim when facing the consequences of their bad behavior.

This lady probably made it a full time job to complain about her 6 awful children who never visit her. I know everyone likes to feel sorry for the old lady in the nursing home who no one visits, but if no one in a person's family wants anything to do with them there is usually a reason.

The nasty old still living biatch in my family loves to use social workers to guilt her children into visiting and calling so that she can further the emotional abuse she began when they were young, back when she could still physically abuse them.

They must have gotten so much satisfaction writing that obit and finally getting the last word.
 
2013-09-10 11:37:40 PM  

jimpoz: [i.imgur.com image 588x782]


Are you from the future, or is the 30th the day they're planning on killing her?
 
2013-09-10 11:37:48 PM  

Coco LaFemme: /end CSS
//thanks for reading



Can I thank you for that story? It helps me to know that a damaged person can find someone who gets it, or even if they don't really get it, understands that there's something to get.
 
2013-09-10 11:38:20 PM  
Nobody has done this yet? Really?

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-09-10 11:39:22 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.


It's also something psychologists tell victims to do. The problem with certain mental illnesses is they fool themselves into thinking they are caring parents, or partners, or whatever, and actually believe it. Even if they are wildly abusive, they disassociate from that. They can only see themselves as perfect.

There is no way to reason with them. Psychologists won't even work with them. The only way you can live a healthy life is to break all contact.
 
2013-09-10 11:40:03 PM  

Ebenator: Reminded me of this gem...
[img.photobucket.com image 800x266]


Menendezed!
 
2013-09-10 11:40:30 PM  

jimpoz: [i.imgur.com image 588x782]


September 30, 2013? A newspaper from the future? Please give us the lottery numbers and stocks section.
 
2013-09-10 11:47:44 PM  

MatrixOutsider: September 30, 2013? A newspaper from the future? Please give us the lottery numbers and stocks section.


It doesn't say thats the date of the newspaper, it says that's the date of death.  Clearly the kids are planning on killing her that day.
 
2013-09-10 11:49:34 PM  
"If you're a turd, it's going to come back to you"
T. Brady
 
2013-09-10 11:49:59 PM  
LaToya, is that you?
 
2013-09-10 11:50:32 PM  

bandy: Finally, an honest obit.


This.

Funny how some of you can't handle it.

Coco LaFemme: CSS time:

My boyfriend's father was an abusive prick to him when he was a child; he beat him with extension cords with the plug end striking his skin, to the point where are are scars all over his back, the backs of his arms and legs, his ass....it's horrific.  I've met the piece of shiat a few times, and to say he's a piece of shiat is really an insult to feces.  We go up to New York over the holidays to visit his family, and we avoid him like the plague, as much as we can.

When his father dies, rather than go to the funeral, we're going to have a nice dinner at home, crack open a bottle of bubbly, and toast to the end of his nightmares, and the beginning of the rest of his life full of decent nights' sleep.  I want that more than anything.  He'll wake up some nights screaming, shaking in a cold sweat, and there's not a farking thing I can do to help him.  I hate feeling that way.  He's been to doctors, been on medication (though he loathes taking medication of any kind, even Advil), and none of it has helped.  I truly believe that diseased taint finally kicking the bucket is what needs to happen, if only to act as an exorcism of some kind.  Adam (that's my boyfriend) is 42 years old...if he's got another 50 years in him let's say, I don't want to spend a total of 63 years (we've been together 13) listening to him crying at night.  I would never leave him, but he deserves peace at some point.

/end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity


Damn. Hope he finds peace. At least you're there for him, and that alone, is pretty impressive.
 
2013-09-10 11:55:19 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: There is no way to reason with them. Psychologists won't even work with them. The only way you can live a healthy life is to break all contact.


Which is exactly what I did in regards to my stepmother.  After my dad finally divorced the crazy biatch we started comparing notes.  All those times we were told our real mother didn't want us to make our monthly visit was a lie.  She was telling our mother we didn't want to visit and telling us we weren't invited that weekend.  Lots of other psychological abuse. Mostly her pitting everyone against everyone. My little sister got it the worse of all.  I always had an unlisted phone (after learning my lesson the hard way).  The c00nt died alone.  An alcoholic to the very end.

That experience was the reason why I refused to lie to adopt my stepdaughter.  The law states you need a signed document from the birth parent giving permission unless the birth parent could not be located.  My (ex)wife told me to just lie and say he could not be found since he lived in another country.  I flat out refused to interfere with my stepdaughter's relationship with her birth father.  It was just wrong.
 
2013-09-10 11:56:30 PM  
"...but compared to his brother sitting here in this pew, THIS MAN IS A SAINT."

/Clower power
 
2013-09-10 11:56:42 PM  

MatrixOutsider: jimpoz: [i.imgur.com image 588x782]

September 30, 2013? A newspaper from the future? Please give us the lottery numbers and stocks section.


Reds overtake the Cardinals and the Pirates in the NL Central.

After killing Hank and Skylar, Walter White gets shot in the neck by Jesse, having left the ricin in his other pants that day. He lives out his days in a wheelchair in Hector's nursing home, but refuses to use a bell to communicate.

Miley Cyrus checks into Betty Ford.

And there's a big thunderstorm on the 29th, so don't forget your umbrella.
 
2013-09-10 11:59:21 PM  
 

Son of Thunder: "...but compared to his brother sitting here in this pew, THIS MAN IS A SAINT."

/Clower power

Jerry's fans are few here, maybe we should shoot into the tree for some relief.

 
2013-09-11 12:00:33 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Coco LaFemme: /end CSS
//thanks for reading


Can I thank you for that story? It helps me to know that a damaged person can find someone who gets it, or even if they don't really get it, understands that there's something to get.


You may.  He's such a warm, loving, kind man.......he broke that cycle of abuse for himself by not turning out like him.  We don't have/want children, but I'd never fear he'd be like his father....it's just not in him.  My father has been a better father-figure to him in 13 years than his own piece of shiat sperm donor has been in 42.  In fact, he's said my father is one of the best men he knows.  I never had the kind of childhood he did, so I can't relate to his suffering, but the most I can do is hold his hand and tell him I'm never leaving.

Agent Smiths Laugh: bandy: Finally, an honest obit.

This.

Funny how some of you can't handle it.

Coco LaFemme: CSS time:

My boyfriend's father was an abusive prick to him when he was a child; he beat him with extension cords with the plug end striking his skin, to the point where are are scars all over his back, the backs of his arms and legs, his ass....it's horrific.  I've met the piece of shiat a few times, and to say he's a piece of shiat is really an insult to feces.  We go up to New York over the holidays to visit his family, and we avoid him like the plague, as much as we can.

When his father dies, rather than go to the funeral, we're going to have a nice dinner at home, crack open a bottle of bubbly, and toast to the end of his nightmares, and the beginning of the rest of his life full of decent nights' sleep.  I want that more than anything.  He'll wake up some nights screaming, shaking in a cold sweat, and there's not a farking thing I can do to help him.  I hate feeling that way.  He's been to doctors, been on medication (though he loathes taking medication of any kind, even Advil), and none of it has helped.  I truly believe that diseased taint finally kicking the bucket is what needs to happen, if only to act as an exorcism of some kind.  Adam (that's my boyfriend) is 42 years old...if he's got another 50 years in him let's say, I don't want to spend a total of 63 years (we've been together 13) listening to him crying at night.  I would never leave him, but he deserves peace at some point.

/end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity

Damn. Hope he finds peace. At least you're there for him, and that alone, is pretty impressive.


I've been told by more than a few people over the course of our relationship that he's too damaged, that I deserve someone more put together, but those people can go to hell.  I love him.  It's as simple as that in my mind.
 
2013-09-11 12:03:09 AM  

farkingismybusiness: NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!


My mother chickened out of my (illegal) abortion.  My father beat her up for not going through with it.  My relationships with them didn't really go uphill from there.  However, I was luckier than my sister.  At 51, I can still vividly see the image of my sister's back covered in welts.  I tried gently putting moisturizer on it, then pressure, then butter (hell, I didn't know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't going to ask them), and eventually found that ice cubes seemed to reduce the pain a little.  It was 42 years ago, and believe me, my sister remembers it much more vividly than me; I'm the one they hated less.  When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents."  No, not really.  The grim nostalgia that we share is that we are each others' only witness.

If you find this unbelievable, congratulations on your good fortune.
 
2013-09-11 12:06:04 AM  

WeenerGord: Addicted to Hate: The Fred Phelps Story

Mark Phelps feels nauseated whenever he remembers that night. He was hit over 60 times and his brother, Nate, over 200 with a mattock handle. Nate went into shock. Mark didn't. A boy who became a compulsive counter to handle the stress, Mark counted every stroke. His and Nate's. While their father screamed obscenities and his brother screamed in pain. Every 20 strokes, their mother wiped their faces off in the tub. Nate passed out anyway. That was Christmas Day.


/  just leaving that here


I had to stop reading. That made me physically ill.
 
2013-09-11 12:07:06 AM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?

I would venture that the apples don't fall very far from the tree.  Her children are spiteful enough to pay for a nasty obituary, but can't be bothered to proofread their drivel.

Maybe the kids aren't abusive, but they aren't heroes.


Dude, she's not going to Fark you.
 
2013-09-11 12:10:57 AM  

mofa: farkingismybusiness: NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!

My mother chickened out of my (illegal) abortion.  My father beat her up for not going through with it.  My relationships with them didn't really go uphill from there.  However, I was luckier than my sister.  At 51, I can still vividly see the image of my sister's back covered in welts.  I tried gently putting moisturizer on it, then pressure, then butter (hell, I didn't know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't going to ask them), and eventually found that ice cubes seemed to reduce the pain a little.  It was 42 years ago, and believe me, my sister remembers it much more vividly than me; I'm the one they hated less.  When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents." No, not really.  The grim nostalgia that we share is that we are each others' only witness.

If you find this unbelievable, congratulations on your good fortune.


Those people are delusional twats that have probably not been on the receiving end and thus have no frame of reference. They just default to their platitudes that usually have very little basis in harsh reality.

Coco LaFemme: /end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity

Damn. Hope he finds peace. At least you're there for him, and that alone, is pretty impressive.

I've been told by more than a few people over the course of our relationship that he's too damaged, that I deserve someone more put together, but those people can go to hell. I love him. It's as simple as that in my mind.


People like that probably have impaired compassion and empathy, and may be projecting their insecurities on you. Point out that what they are really saying is that someone can be hurt and damaged too much to be loved. They might not like it when you illuminate that what they are suggesting is to hurt the wounded more.
 
2013-09-11 12:11:04 AM  

J. Frank Parnell: AverageAmericanGuy: It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

It's also something psychologists tell victims to do. The problem with certain mental illnesses is they fool themselves into thinking they are caring parents, or partners, or whatever, and actually believe it. Even if they are wildly abusive, they disassociate from that. They can only see themselves as perfect.

There is no way to reason with them. Psychologists won't even work with them. The only way you can live a healthy life is to break all contact.


my therapist had me do the exact opposite. he felt it was best for me to face my batshiat crazy mom head on, to come to peace with her, and to understand that she deserved sympathy because she is an untreated mental health case. this was not an easy thing to do, especially after avoiding her like a plague for some 20 years. mom's downswing in health forced us to be her caretakers, which has taken a terrible toll on one of my sisters. looking at the big picture i should have moved 10 states away a very long time ago.
 
2013-09-11 12:13:07 AM  

Coco LaFemme: CSS time


i dated a man whose father was abusive, and it marked his every thought and action. i hope your boyfriend finds peace.
 
2013-09-11 12:16:09 AM  

zzrhardy: Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.



(This)
 
2013-09-11 12:18:25 AM  
OgreMagi, you did the right thing on all counts. But you know that.
 
2013-09-11 12:22:21 AM  
If my hateful biatch of a mother had a sister, it would've been that woman.
 
2013-09-11 12:30:12 AM  

machodonkeywrestler: Dude, she's not going to Fark you.


She doesn't have a choice now.

It's all going EXACTLY to plan. Now I just need to wait to dig her up, and fill the tub with warm water.

geeksdreamgirl.com
 
2013-09-11 12:36:52 AM  

othmar: zzrhardy: Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.


(This)


And some people are fond of platitudes and false bravado.
 
2013-09-11 12:39:36 AM  
I had an uncle who died when I was a young teen. He was one of a dozen siblings, and he was the first of the family to go. He was also a hateful, rotten bastard.

Not a single one of his siblings had a nice thing to say about him at his funeral. His kids expressed little remorse at his passing. His father-- a devout Quaker-- was certain he'd be judged by God. His mother was the only person to speak well of him, and it was only referring to him when he was a child, before he became a total asshole.

All his nephews and nieces had unkind things to say about him. His cousins didn't even show up. His aunts and uncles didn't show up, either (though most were pretty old at the time, so that might have had something to do with it). His wife cried crocodile tears, but it was pretty obvious she was doing it out of a sense of requirement more than a real feeling of loss.

And all these years later, the whole family still pauses to say "good riddance" to my uncle when we remember his passing. He was a miserable creep.

So yes, it is entirely possible for a person to be so completely rotten that even his own family hates his guts and is relieved when he finally dies.
 
2013-09-11 12:42:42 AM  
My father is 85, 30 years older than me. During the past 5 decades, he has talked about his father perhaps 3 times, the last when I was 17, and only to relate how he died of cancer.

My grandmother was 102 when she forgot to wake up one morning. For her entire life, she never told anyone her life story, except that her father ran a laundry service for steamships, including (briefly) the Titanic. She immigrated to Canada with Grandfather in 1919.

We believe that the abuse started back in the early 1900's, continued until his death in 1958, a couple of months before I was born. It certainly prompted my father to leave home at the age of 16 and never look back.

Even today, as my father's life draws to a close, he has reservations being close emotionally. I've made it a life mission to be more open and loving to my son, though I question how well I am doing.

Abuse sucks, and goes on for generations, even when the inheritors try to overcome it.
 
2013-09-11 12:43:35 AM  
And if you're a dick all your life, your obituary will look like this. Tag is for subject's children who now crusade against for child abuse

FTF reality
 
2013-09-11 12:44:00 AM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?

I would venture that the apples don't fall very far from the tree.  Her children are spiteful enough to pay for a nasty obituary, but can't be bothered to proofread their drivel.

Maybe the kids aren't abusive, but they aren't heroes.


Why do people always say things like this? Being dead doesn't make any better or worse a person than you were when you were alive. Granted that is a really passive-aggressive way of giving mom a ginormous FU but if we have to hear that every other dead person was the beloved personification of perfection who ought to be beatified, maybe this will help balance that BS out. And while we are at it--don't get all freaking crazy about how your dead person is getting to heaven: Betty Johnson rode a unicorn over the rainbow and through the Milky Way to sit with Jesus and the Beatles.....no she didn't. She just died.
 
2013-09-11 12:47:18 AM  
Uh, shameful?
 
2013-09-11 12:47:19 AM  
This thread makes me weep,

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me-
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.
 
2013-09-11 12:47:58 AM  

Coco LaFemme: CSS time:

My boyfriend's father was an abusive prick to him when he was a child; he beat him with extension cords with the plug end striking his skin, to the point where are are scars all over his back, the backs of his arms and legs, his ass....it's horrific.  I've met the piece of shiat a few times, and to say he's a piece of shiat is really an insult to feces.  We go up to New York over the holidays to visit his family, and we avoid him like the plague, as much as we can.

When his father dies, rather than go to the funeral, we're going to have a nice dinner at home, crack open a bottle of bubbly, and toast to the end of his nightmares, and the beginning of the rest of his life full of decent nights' sleep.  I want that more than anything.  He'll wake up some nights screaming, shaking in a cold sweat, and there's not a farking thing I can do to help him.  I hate feeling that way.  He's been to doctors, been on medication (though he loathes taking medication of any kind, even Advil), and none of it has helped.  I truly believe that diseased taint finally kicking the bucket is what needs to happen, if only to act as an exorcism of some kind.  Adam (that's my boyfriend) is 42 years old...if he's got another 50 years in him let's say, I don't want to spend a total of 63 years (we've been together 13) listening to him crying at night.  I would never leave him, but he deserves peace at some point.

/end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity


May Adam find peace soon (and I am hoping his father dies a horrible death to boot). My mother grew up in a family like that and I get a little bit more joy every time she outlives one of them....
 
2013-09-11 12:49:34 AM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?


There is nothing heroic about telling the truth about the dead.  Cathartic, yes.  Heroic, no.  If the woman was truly a scumbag, she should be called on it.  Blaming to children of an abusive parent does not in any way excuse the filthy, disgusting abuses caused by a pile of s**t human being that could only be called a parent because of some genetic connection.

Kids who have been raised by abusive parents can be excused for all of their weird emotional convolutions associated with their parents.  They don't get a pass with respect to everyone else, though.

Scumbags are not made any more noble by dying.  Scumbags are not made any more noble by getting old.  Asking for forgiveness to get out of proper karma is just weakness or and expectation of weakness in those that are about to deliver proper reckoning.

If there is no God, which to an agnostic is possible, then true vengeance can only be delivered by the living.

Abusing the elderly who during their prime abused the children that they had physical power over is righteous.  My best friend in elementary school was abused by his drunken father virtually everyday.  I was eating dinner with them once, when the father (during one of the many silent periods that occurred because that is the way children are when they are around drunken abusive parents) reached across the table and started hitting him in the face because he didn't like his attitude - my friend was silently eating his food and staring at his plate.  Currently, my friend (in his 40's) is dying of brain cancer.  Whenever I get together with his family, during a quiet private period, I kick the walker out from the old man or shove the f**ker over.  He will continue to get this treatment until he dies, which I hope is painful.  I am not heroic nor moral, but the old f**ker is getting what he deserves.  When I was younger, I would not have been able to do it.  Now, that his family is older, they are still living in fear of his anger.  I do not care what occurred to him in his childhood to all those defense lawyers out there.  He has never asked for forgiveness, nor will he ever ask for it.  If God ever comes to save him from me, maybe I'll convert.
 
2013-09-11 12:51:30 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Damn. After reading that, I'd say those little brats deserved it.

I'm guessing not.

A search of Marianne's name suggests that perhaps she is the same Nevada-based Marianne Reddick who, in 1970, testified before the Nevada Equal Rights Commission that the employment agency she ran printed "White Only" on certain referrals so that black people would not mistakenly apply for jobs where they were not welcome.

Assuming she's a real person. There's no other readily available listing for a "Marianne Reddick" in Nevada, so this could be totally bogus.


I can see her info using an 'alternate form of searching for people'. Got her kids' names and addresses, too. Probably not a proper thing to post on Fark, though. There is such a person, though, same birthday, with the right number of offspring, recently deceased.
 
2013-09-11 12:53:45 AM  

zzrhardy: Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.


We don't know they didn't confront her in life, we just know they got the last word.
 
2013-09-11 12:55:34 AM  

WeenerGord: Addicted to Hate: The Fred Phelps Story

Mark Phelps feels nauseated whenever he remembers that night. He was hit over 60 times and his brother, Nate, over 200 with a mattock handle. Nate went into shock. Mark didn't. A boy who became a compulsive counter to handle the stress, Mark counted every stroke. His and Nate's. While their father screamed obscenities and his brother screamed in pain. Every 20 strokes, their mother wiped their faces off in the tub. Nate passed out anyway. That was Christmas Day.


/  just leaving that here


I wish I hadn't read that in it's entirety, but I couldn't stop. I really hope there is a hell, and that Fred gets his a millionfold. Sick motherfarker.
 
2013-09-11 12:58:12 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Damn. After reading that, I'd say those little brats deserved it.

I'm guessing not.

A search of Marianne's name suggests that perhaps she is the same Nevada-based Marianne Reddick who, in 1970, testified before the Nevada Equal Rights Commission that the employment agency she ran printed "White Only" on certain referrals so that black people would not mistakenly apply for jobs where they were not welcome.

Assuming she's a real person. There's no other readily available listing for a "Marianne Reddick" in Nevada, so this could be totally bogus.


She's a real person. I was able to pull up her info using 'other tools', there was such a person, right birthday, right number of kids, right place, deceased about the right time.

For that matter, there are two Marianne Reddicks, but they don't match in any other way.
 
2013-09-11 01:01:32 AM  
Weird. Double post. The first one said it didn't post, and I lost the content so I had to rewrite it. Anyway, I guess I'm lucky - I've got a great family. It's going to suck balls when the parents, aunts and uncles start aging out. I'll miss all of them.
 
2013-09-11 01:07:03 AM  

NFA: A friend of mine was duped out of a huge inheritance (from his birth family) by his stepfather.  He told his stepfather he plans to cremate him and pour his ashes into the septic tank.  He WILL do it.


CSB:

My father-in-law recently died. He was cremated. At the memorial, the rev made a reference to this, then, while reassuring the gathering that it was OK to be cremated, said he himself wanted to be cremated and poured down the toilet, so that any time someone wanted to talk to him, they'd have no more than to find the nearest bathroom.

/ Because of the interconnected sewer system, you see
 
2013-09-11 01:07:39 AM  

Matthew Keene: One day at work, I was talking about buying a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice, drinking it, at pissing on my sister's grave when she died. A coworker chimed in saying that 'when my mother dies, I'm going to flush her ashes down the toilet so she can swim around with all the other turds. But not at my house. I'm gonna do it someplace real special, like Taco Bell.'[s.pixogs.com image 149x150]


after reading that, i wonder if the USA has more dysfunctional families "per capita" than most other countries...
 
2013-09-11 01:11:20 AM  

The Pumpkin Eater: WeenerGord: Addicted to Hate: The Fred Phelps Story

Mark Phelps feels nauseated whenever he remembers that night. He was hit over 60 times and his brother, Nate, over 200 with a mattock handle. Nate went into shock. Mark didn't. A boy who became a compulsive counter to handle the stress, Mark counted every stroke. His and Nate's. While their father screamed obscenities and his brother screamed in pain. Every 20 strokes, their mother wiped their faces off in the tub. Nate passed out anyway. That was Christmas Day.


/  just leaving that here

I had to stop reading. That made me physically ill.


Why is Fred Phelps still walking the street after that?
 
2013-09-11 01:11:48 AM  

albatros183: And if you're a dick all your life, your obituary will look like this. Tag is for subject's children who now crusade against for child abuse

FTF reality


The heroes are the people who suffered similar abuse or worse, and didn't let it define their lives.
 
2013-09-11 01:12:59 AM  

Forbidden Doughnut: Matthew Keene: One day at work, I was talking about buying a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice, drinking it, at pissing on my sister's grave when she died. A coworker chimed in saying that 'when my mother dies, I'm going to flush her ashes down the toilet so she can swim around with all the other turds. But not at my house. I'm gonna do it someplace real special, like Taco Bell.'[s.pixogs.com image 149x150]

after reading that, i wonder if the USA has more dysfunctional families "per capita" than most other countries...


The cultural instillment of fealty is something completely absent in "American culture". While the concept of individual freedom and rights is front and center, the corollary concepts of responsibility and shame are not. So while there may not be a significant difference between rates of dysfunctional families in the US vs other places, Americans are more likely to complain about perceived slights than people from other countries (especially Asian).
 
2013-09-11 01:13:50 AM  
 
2013-09-11 01:17:33 AM  

Victoly: ...so that any time someone wanted to talk to him, they'd have no more than to find the nearest bathroom.

/ Because of the interconnected sewer system, you see


Down here, we all float.
 
2013-09-11 01:24:14 AM  
Caught this on Bravo (or IFC or one of the other artsy channels) a few years back; highly relevant:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240641/
 
2013-09-11 01:37:15 AM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.


This.

When you don't mean anything to them except as an object of abuse, this is the best way to deal with it. So many times people feel that because you are family they can treat you poorly and you'll have to come back so they can do it again because "blood is thicker than water."
 
2013-09-11 01:40:40 AM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: othmar: zzrhardy: Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.


(This)

And some people are fond of platitudes and false bravado.


and your pointless point would be?
 
2013-09-11 01:41:38 AM  

Radioactive Ass: Nobody has done this yet? Really?

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 480x360]


According to AverageAmericanGuy this is a pro Scientology episode on South Park.
 
2013-09-11 01:43:53 AM  

pedobearapproved: Radioactive Ass: Nobody has done this yet? Really?

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 480x360]

According to AverageAmericanGuy this is a pro Scientology episode on South Park.


While they do skewer the Scientologists on South Park, it's important to also realize that one of their main characters is played by a Scientologist (before he died).
 
2013-09-11 01:43:54 AM  
My mom and I didn't see eye-to-eye much before she died, but ultimately the occasional hard slap for disobedience was nothing compared to what some of you guys have been through. All the #feels, Farkers. At least with my mom, I know it was because she was frustrated with her cancer, and it never went very far.

lohphat:

Why is Fred Phelps still walking the street after that?

Statute of limitation, I have to assume. *angry sigh*
 
2013-09-11 01:44:56 AM  
It is my goal in life to be such a sonofabiatch that someone feels a need to piss or shiat on my grave.
 
2013-09-11 01:45:39 AM  
Kudos to whoever wrote this obituary. Some people aren't worth the paper it was printed on.

CSS: The day the guy who molested me died in a horrific car accident was one of the best day of my life. Sometimes you can't move on till those who perpetrate abuse against you no longer draw breath on this planet.

For seven years, 6 years old to 13 years old, I existed with this lecherous horror next door. He would wait for my school bus to go by his house and then drive to the back edge of his property where my property was, to wait for me as I walked home. He would lock me in the barn when I thought he wasn't around and went out to do my chores, to molest me in a stall. He would sneak through our house while I was taking a shower after softball practice. He would offer my parents to drive me home from practice, only to take me out to some random cornfield and molest me. SEVEN YEARS I lived looking over my shoulder, taking the long route through the fields and woods home from school, hiding in grain trailers, culverts, woodpiles, and on rooftops. Some days he found me, some days he didn't.

You're probably thinking, "Why didn't she tell her parents?!" I told my parents but for years in their eyes he could do no wrong. He was a deacon at church. He was my grandfather's best friend for the past 40 years. He worked at the coal mine with all of my relatives. For all intents and purposes his family were like family. It only stopped when I was 13 when my dad caught him in our house, dick in hand, masturbating on my bed, after I'd run out of the house buck naked from taking a shower when dad got home early one day. That bastard walked out of our house at gun point and was never invited back.

SEVEN YEARS I had my innocence stolen from me, my trust in men violated, my childhood ruined. Even to this day I've lost that connection that fathers and daughters generally have. I alienated my own father. I alienated my grandfather and my uncles. It took me years to move on to an adult relationship with my now husband, but there's still that emotional baggage that lives with you every single day.

But the day he died? I truly and honestly celebrated.
 
2013-09-11 01:54:13 AM  

Poowaddins: But the day he died? I truly and honestly celebrated.


I have a friend who I hope will celebrate when her dad goes; she got off easier as (supposedly) she is the 'biological' child, but her two adopted sisters are farked up for life from his abuses. It has taken me literally years and years to convince her that just because people in her life are 'blood', it doesn't mean they're worth relating to. Mind you I never wanted to be someone's shoulder for these things, or especially to drive her to avoid them, but I guess she felt I would understand the best since my mom could be a royal biatch at times.

Long story short, I heard a particular voicemail her father left her, and he should never have been allowed authority over another person's life...
 
SVX
2013-09-11 01:58:31 AM  
Geez, I had two parents who loved me, and are still (mostly) happily married after 43 years.  I've been (mostly) happily married 15 years, and we have two kids who may drive us nuts, but we'd never think of hurting.  After reading this thread, I'm beginning to think I'm more the (lucky) exception than the rule.
 
2013-09-11 02:01:59 AM  
I'm 50/50 on this one to be totally honest. My dad is a tyrant. He beat me but I'm not sure if it constituted abuse. I would say I average 1 serious beatings a month from age 7-15.. with belt, cane and his fist. He likes to ask me to kneel down in front of him and he would slap me across the face. His MO was more humiliation I think. He is also emotionally abusive and continues to this day with my mom.I do have a relationship with him but it's just very casual at best. Mostly through Skype. Aside from the semi frequent beatings he has never left the family and for the most part has been a decent provider.
AFAIK he has never cheated on my mom  (they've been married over 40 yrs now) and I don't remember him leaving any serious marks on me or injured me internally.
I guess I should consider myself lucky after reading some of your stories here.
 
2013-09-11 02:05:05 AM  
AverageAmericanGuy:
BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.


And it's perfectly valid if the influence is actually bad for you. The only problem in Scientology comes from their manipulation of what is defined as "bad". If they only recommended leaving people who were actually hurting you their advise would be perfectly sound; instead they frequently recommend leaving people who would be bad for the church, regardless of your personal interests.

Though I'd argue the fundamental problem is an expectation that the people who happen to share bits of your DNA are the people to who you should form the closest relationships. "Family" should be the people you choose because of the positive influence they have in your life, not the people that were randomly assigned to you as a consequence of the circumstances of your birth. You have no obligation to your parents, siblings, or anyone else in your "natural family" beyond the same duty you owe all human beings and anyone who tells you otherwise is almost certainly trying to manipulate you for their own selfish purposes. You spent a lot of time with your parents and siblings and whatnot, you share a lot of history, and it's entirely likely that you'll have similar world views and other commonalities. As such you might well want to make them an important part of your social circle. But if you don't there's no shame in it -- you don't have to "cut them out" any more than you cut out the people who live 3 doors down from you, you simply don't force a relationship that you don't want to have.
 
2013-09-11 02:08:01 AM  
Some of these families should put engraved spittoons instead of headstones on the graves of some of these psychos.
 
2013-09-11 02:11:12 AM  

SuperNinjaToad: He beat me but I'm not sure if it constituted abuse


It did. And not just be a little -- you're miles past the line. The fact that other people had it worse is sad, but it doesn't justify what happened to you. Neither does the fact that he didn't also fail to live up to his financial obligations. And neither does whatever "misbehavior" (if any) brought on the beatings.
 
2013-09-11 02:14:52 AM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?


Know who ELSE we shouldn't speak ill of, because hey, he's dead?

/that's right, Osama Bin Laden.  That's being topical, fellahs.
 
2013-09-11 02:23:12 AM  
The man who sexually abused me (my mom's ex-husband) is dying of prostate cancer.

Couldn't happen to a better guy.
 
2013-09-11 02:33:19 AM  

Farxist Marxist: My father is 85, 30 years older than me. During the past 5 decades, he has talked about his father perhaps 3 times, the last when I was 17, and only to relate how he died of cancer.

My grandmother was 102 when she forgot to wake up one morning. For her entire life, she never told anyone her life story, except that her father ran a laundry service for steamships, including (briefly) the Titanic. She immigrated to Canada with Grandfather in 1919.

We believe that the abuse started back in the early 1900's, continued until his death in 1958, a couple of months before I was born. It certainly prompted my father to leave home at the age of 16 and never look back.

Even today, as my father's life draws to a close, he has reservations being close emotionally. I've made it a life mission to be more open and loving to my son, though I question how well I am doing.

Abuse sucks, and goes on for generations, even when the inheritors try to overcome it.


i did like what you said about your grandmother forgetting to wake up one morning.  nice way to say it.
 
2013-09-11 02:33:25 AM  

not_an_indigo: The man who sexually abused me (my mom's ex-husband) is dying of prostate cancer.

Couldn't happen to a better guy.


Seems a fitting punishment for an asshole.
 
2013-09-11 02:33:44 AM  

Oldiron_79: It is my goal in life to be such a sonofabiatch that someone feels a need to piss or shiat on my grave.


So you're voting Rapeublican?
 
2013-09-11 02:45:16 AM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.


I've done just that with my birth mother. I've had no contact with her in damn near 20everything years, still in hear things about her from family though. She hasn't changed a bit from what I hear. Being her oldest son, of the family asks me to give a eulogy, I will. They probably won't like it but it will be nothing but the truth.
 
2013-09-11 02:47:36 AM  
I've long said that I deserve every bad thing which will ever happen to me. I may not have aimed for the stars with the bad things I've done, but the little stuff adds up.

/If anyone even notices that I'm dead I've done it wrong.
 
2013-09-11 02:50:05 AM  

TenJed_77: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

I've done just that with my birth mother. I've had no contact with her in damn near 20everything years, still in hear things about her from family though. She hasn't changed a bit from what I hear. Being her oldest son, of the family asks me to give a eulogy, I will. They probably won't like it but it will be nothing but the truth.


I hate my fingers, posting from a mobile sucks
 
2013-09-11 02:52:02 AM  

SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.


Speaking as one who hasn't seen his parents in 25 years, I agree.

You didn't choose them so there's nothing forcing you to hang out with them or go visit them after you grow up.
 
2013-09-11 03:10:44 AM  

mofa: When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents."  No, not really.


Yep. The hardest part is dealing with all the people who want explanations as to why you aren't going to visit your parents at Xmas. And try to convince you you need to work things out with them ("But they're your parents!").

These days I just lie whenever I see it coming ("Yes, of course I'm going!").
 
2013-09-11 03:27:45 AM  
 FTFA "the employment agency she ran..."

I was prepared to shiat on the children here, but that little piece of information confirms that she was indeed a monster that deserves to be shat upon even after death.
 
2013-09-11 03:34:12 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: It is my goal in life to be such a sonofabiatch that someone feels a need to piss or shiat on my grave.

So you're voting Rapeublican?


Was Ted Kennedy a rapeublican?
 
2013-09-11 03:53:49 AM  

Joce678: mofa: When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents."  No, not really.

Yep. The hardest part is dealing with all the people who want explanations as to why you aren't going to visit your parents at Xmas. And try to convince you you need to work things out with them ("But they're your parents!").

These days I just lie whenever I see it coming ("Yes, of course I'm going!").


This (and this whole thread, really) reminds me of a quote I picked up many years ago: No one is truly free until they can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

I probably got it a bit wrong, I don't remember who said it, and I don't care enough to look it up - in this case content is more important than precision or attribution. Anyway, keeping that little concept in mind has made it immeasurably easier for me to deal with situations like you describe. If someone gets nosy and it's none of their business, I tell them it's none of their business. Likewise, your reasoning is nobody's business but your own and if you're talking to someone who isn't going to be there when you wake up in the morning what should you care what they think about your decisions? Tell them the truth, tell them nothing, or tell them to fark off - that freedom feels nice.
 
2013-09-11 04:02:01 AM  

zzrhardy: Good people confront evil, cowards will wait until it dies.


So you are saying it's better to murder abusive family members?
 
2013-09-11 04:12:10 AM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: bandy: Finally, an honest obit.

This.

Funny how some of you can't handle it.

Coco LaFemme: CSS time:

My boyfriend's father was an abusive prick to him when he was a child; he beat him with extension cords with the plug end striking his skin, to the point where are are scars all over his back, the backs of his arms and legs, his ass....it's horrific.  I've met the piece of shiat a few times, and to say he's a piece of shiat is really an insult to feces.  We go up to New York over the holidays to visit his family, and we avoid him like the plague, as much as we can.

When his father dies, rather than go to the funeral, we're going to have a nice dinner at home, crack open a bottle of bubbly, and toast to the end of his nightmares, and the beginning of the rest of his life full of decent nights' sleep.  I want that more than anything.  He'll wake up some nights screaming, shaking in a cold sweat, and there's not a farking thing I can do to help him.  I hate feeling that way.  He's been to doctors, been on medication (though he loathes taking medication of any kind, even Advil), and none of it has helped.  I truly believe that diseased taint finally kicking the bucket is what needs to happen, if only to act as an exorcism of some kind.  Adam (that's my boyfriend) is 42 years old...if he's got another 50 years in him let's say, I don't want to spend a total of 63 years (we've been together 13) listening to him crying at night.  I would never leave him, but he deserves peace at some point.

/end CSS
//thanks for reading
///if you abuse your children, do the world a favor and farking kill yourself, you sorry excuse for humanity

Damn. Hope he finds peace. At least you're there for him, and that alone, is pretty impressive.


I agree.....I also wanted to say something about insulting feces but I just cant think of anything....I was even gonna upload a Bristols Stool Chart because thats comedy in and of itself.
We should all strive to be like #4 ; smooth and easy on the anus
 
2013-09-11 04:26:19 AM  

AndyChrist_AUS: This thread makes me weep,

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me-
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.


Wasn't that from a Mt. Dew commercial?
 
2013-09-11 05:15:14 AM  

SuddenlySamhain: AndyChrist_AUS: This thread makes me weep,

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me-
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

Wasn't that from a Mt. Dew commercial?


EXTRE-mlet!
 
2013-09-11 07:05:27 AM  
Many years ago at All Souls Cemetery,  in Chardon, Ohio, a limousine pulled up to a grave and a man got out. He stood at the grave for several minutes then pulled out a gun and fired several shots into the grave. He then got back into the car and it sped off. This was witnessed by people visiting the cemetery, and maintenance workers there. Sheriff was called and they investigated, but never found out who it was or why they did it. They never identified which grave it was, either. It was on the evening news for a couple of nights and in all the papers.
 
2013-09-11 07:08:38 AM  

Coco LaFemme: HotWingAgenda:

Can I thank you for that story? It helps me to know that a damaged person can find someone who gets it, or even if they don't really get it, understands that there's something to get.

You may.


Coco LaFemme: I've been told by more than a few people over the course of our relationship that he's too damaged, that I deserve someone more put together, but those people can go to hell. I love him. It's as simple as that in my mind.


Poor guy ended up with someone who will share his painful experience in order to get praise for being so loving and bighearted.  I feel sorry for him.
 
2013-09-11 07:21:53 AM  
CSB

My dad was the abusive piece of shiat type that seems to be so common. I and my siblings all carry scars - physical, emotional, mental. To add to the fun, he was also an upstanding Christian, an elder at the Kingdom Hall and one of the friendliest and nicest people you could meet (when not behind closed doors).  He is also very, very good at playing the repentant sinner on the rare occasions when somebody would start to figure out what he was really like.

Fast forward 30 years - we all escaped the JW's, all but one of us stopped speaking to dad several years ago, and we are just waiting for him to die. My brother and I have already made arrangements and paid for his burial and there will be no funeral service. Pack him in the box, put him in the ground.

We all have our issues - my sister had her tubes tied at 30 to make certain she would never have kids. I had a vasectomy at 26 and would have done so much sooner if I could have found a doctor willing to perform the procedure before I had a child. My brother is, in many ways, a carbon copy of my father. Fortunately, no children for him either. My other sister is trying her best to pretend our childhood never happened.


/CSB

I do know that I can't stand hearing someone say you should forgive your parents anything or that 'blood' is important and you shouldn't sever contact no matter what. Those people are clueless idiots.


 

JRoo: So you are saying it's better to murder abusive family members?


Sometimes
 
2013-09-11 07:34:49 AM  

Coco LaFemme: I've been told by more than a few people over the course of our relationship that he's too damaged, that I deserve someone more put together, but those people can go to hell.  I love him.  It's as simple as that in my mind.


Holy crap, those people are awful! You're wonderful for finding it in you to love him unconditionally. I have had some trouble, for which I was in therapy in a clinic for a while (though unsubstantial compared to some of the stories in this thread), and I was sure my girlfriend would leave me when I was going to tell her. She's now my wife and to tell somebody your deepest problems and find that it makes no difference at all for them is incredible.

Good to hear that your boyfriend found someone like you.
 
2013-09-11 07:36:19 AM  
Jehovah's Witnesses aren't Christians.
 
2013-09-11 07:41:00 AM  

Mr. Ekshun: SuddenlySamhain: AndyChrist_AUS: This thread makes me weep,

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals-and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me-
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

Wasn't that from a Mt. Dew commercial?

EXTRE-mlet!


We've gone on holiday by mistake...
 
2013-09-11 07:57:49 AM  
jimpoz:
Reds overtake the Cardinals and the Pirates in the NL Central.

My treble was Reds, Braves and Giants. BOY did I get the last one wrong.
 
2013-09-11 08:17:41 AM  
Sounds somewhat like my ex wife and in-laws , glad , very glad I divorced her!!!
 
2013-09-11 08:22:23 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Jehovah's Witnesses aren't Christians.


Well, that's farking retarded.
 
2013-09-11 08:25:50 AM  
Can we hire these people to write Dick Cheney's Obit.
 
2013-09-11 08:26:35 AM  

ceebeecates4: Whats heroic about libeling the dead?

I would venture that the apples don't fall very far from the tree.  Her children are spiteful enough to pay for a nasty obituary, but can't be bothered to proofread their drivel.

Maybe the kids aren't abusive, but they aren't heroes.


^This.
 
2013-09-11 08:48:04 AM  
Don;t leave it to an artilcle. Always deliver your message of hate to the person who delivers it; in this case, tellign the psycho in advance what her obituary would read like would have been appropriate.  I've cheerfully informed one of my in laws that their grave will be urine soaked whenever I can arrange it.
 
2013-09-11 08:49:17 AM  
i1168.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-11 09:05:29 AM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: bandy: Finally, an honest obit.

This.

Funny how some of you can't handle it.


It's totally against our societal norms to speak ill of the dead.  I've been to services where almost everyone hated the guy and no-one save for a few (who did not speak) treated the decedent kindly while they were alive.  Yet everyone spoke glowingly of the person in the casket.  Can't stand that sort of thing, so I left.
 
2013-09-11 09:12:02 AM  

WeenerGord: Phelps


I've met Nate Phelps a few times and he is the nicest man imagineable.  While he does speak of his experiences there and the mattock handle, I don't think that he ever spoke of that incident.  I've also been to Topeka and yes, the Phelps clan (at WBC) is just as evil as you would think they are.


Here's what WBC did to a little girl who set up a lemonade stand across the street from their "church".
 
2013-09-11 09:21:04 AM  
I'll keep this in mind when my father finally does the world a favor by dying.
 
2013-09-11 09:30:40 AM  
And the origins of Farkers are revealed en masse.
 
2013-09-11 09:44:26 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Jehovah's Witnesses aren't Christians.


Sure they are. They place faith in a zombie carpenter and are insufferably smug about having a perceived monopoly on the 'truth'.
 
2013-09-11 09:51:43 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Damn. After reading that, I'd say those little brats deserved it.


After that biatch stabbed her father in the eyes for raping her in the ass for 14 years straight since she was 6, I'd say she deserved the 45 years jail time.
 
2013-09-11 10:08:23 AM  

erewhon: She's a real person. I was able to pull up her info using 'other tools', there was such a person, right birthday, right number of kids, right place, deceased about the right time.


We can all use Melissa Data.
 
2013-09-11 10:16:55 AM  
how dare they take down the obituary.

her kids were too kind in allowing her to live.

I have a similar stepmother, whose hurt and hate destroyed much of my life.
 
2013-09-11 10:56:06 AM  
My dad was my scoutmaster, and bought me fireworks, and my mom sang me lullabies when I was a kid.
We were the weird family on the street. Loved each other. Laughed. Didn't' fight. Had fun.
I cannot imagine how parents can be such monsters, but I wholeheartedly approve of eugenics when I hear these tales.
 
2013-09-11 11:00:31 AM  

mofa: farkingismybusiness: NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!

My mother chickened out of my (illegal) abortion.  My father beat her up for not going through with it.  My relationships with them didn't really go uphill from there.  However, I was luckier than my sister.  At 51, I can still vividly see the image of my sister's back covered in welts.  I tried gently putting moisturizer on it, then pressure, then butter (hell, I didn't know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't going to ask them), and eventually found that ice cubes seemed to reduce the pain a little.  It was 42 years ago, and believe me, my sister remembers it much more vividly than me; I'm the one they hated less.  When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents."  No, not really.  The grim nostalgia that we share is that we are each others' only witness.

If you find this unbelievable, congratulations on your good fortune.


Sweetheart, I haven't seen my father since I ran out of the house barefoot two weeks after my sixteenth birthday. I am 48 years old. I believe you.
 
2013-09-11 11:17:30 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Oldiron_79: It is my goal in life to be such a sonofabiatch that someone feels a need to piss or shiat on my grave.

So you're voting Rapeublican?


Trolling goes WAY beyond paprty lines.
 
2013-09-11 11:40:05 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Forbidden Doughnut: Matthew Keene: One day at work, I was talking about buying a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice, drinking it, at pissing on my sister's grave when she died. A coworker chimed in saying that 'when my mother dies, I'm going to flush her ashes down the toilet so she can swim around with all the other turds. But not at my house. I'm gonna do it someplace real special, like Taco Bell.'[s.pixogs.com image 149x150]

after reading that, i wonder if the USA has more dysfunctional families "per capita" than most other countries...

The cultural instillment of fealty is something completely absent in "American culture". While the concept of individual freedom and rights is front and center, the corollary concepts of responsibility and shame are not. So while there may not be a significant difference between rates of dysfunctional families in the US vs other places, Americans are more likely to complain about perceived slights than people from other countries (especially Asian).


agreed.

this is one of the few rational posts I've seen from this acct. guess he forgot to troll for once.
 
2013-09-11 11:48:15 AM  
I won't comment on my own life, I have no contribution there.. However, it is a tribute to everyone here who shared your stories that YOU SURVIVED.  You went on to realize that what happened was wrong.  You are here in some way calling out those who did unspeakable things - and even though its in an anonymous forum it takes exceptional courage to even admit what happened.

I want to plant the 'hero' tag on all of you
 
2013-09-11 12:41:08 PM  

SuziQ: mofa: farkingismybusiness: NO MORE WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!

My mother chickened out of my (illegal) abortion.  My father beat her up for not going through with it.  My relationships with them didn't really go uphill from there.  However, I was luckier than my sister.  At 51, I can still vividly see the image of my sister's back covered in welts.  I tried gently putting moisturizer on it, then pressure, then butter (hell, I didn't know what I was doing, and I certainly wasn't going to ask them), and eventually found that ice cubes seemed to reduce the pain a little.  It was 42 years ago, and believe me, my sister remembers it much more vividly than me; I'm the one they hated less.  When people find out that we've been estranged from our parents for almost 30 years, they occasionally make statements such as, "well, you always have to love and/or forgive your parents."  No, not really.  The grim nostalgia that we share is that we are each others' only witness.

If you find this unbelievable, congratulations on your good fortune.

Sweetheart, I haven't seen my father since I ran out of the house barefoot two weeks after my sixteenth birthday. I am 48 years old. I believe you.


I believe you both, used to see my mother chain up my little bro like a dog, because he was 2 years old and barking like a dog. She can diaf for all I care, I wouldn't piss on her to put it out.
 
2013-09-11 12:55:50 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: I've long said that I deserve every bad thing which will ever happen to me. I may not have aimed for the stars with the bad things I've done, but the little stuff adds up.

/If anyone even notices that I'm dead I've done it wrong.


Trying to get something off your chest?
 
2013-09-11 01:41:04 PM  

lohphat: The Pumpkin Eater: WeenerGord: Addicted to Hate: The Fred Phelps Story

Mark Phelps feels nauseated whenever he remembers that night. He was hit over 60 times and his brother, Nate, over 200 with a mattock handle. Nate went into shock. Mark didn't. A boy who became a compulsive counter to handle the stress, Mark counted every stroke. His and Nate's. While their father screamed obscenities and his brother screamed in pain. Every 20 strokes, their mother wiped their faces off in the tub. Nate passed out anyway. That was Christmas Day.

/  just leaving that here

I had to stop reading. That made me physically ill.

Why is Fred Phelps still walking the street after that?



That's what I want to know.

Part of it is the mental illness of the other family members who witnessed the child abuse, but make excuses for it and defend the abuser while joining in on blaming the victim. Phelp's wife and other children saw all this, and participated to some extent, and then the children became lawyers to defend him. They continue to go along on his crazy abusive picketings of funerals, which could be interpreted as his own begging for the beatdown he so richly deserves.

Can anyone explain the mental illness of those family members who continue to lie for and protect the abuser? Are they just glad that it wasn't themselves that got the worst of the abuse? Are they eager to please the abuser so they don't become his next target for the worst of the abuse? Do they want to speak up, but they just don't dare to? Or do they really think that this kind of shiat is "normal" since it is all that they have ever known?
 
2013-09-11 02:17:46 PM  
Psycho
 
2013-09-11 02:23:47 PM  

internut scholar: Mr. Ekshun: I've long said that I deserve every bad thing which will ever happen to me. I may not have aimed for the stars with the bad things I've done, but the little stuff adds up.

/If anyone even notices that I'm dead I've done it wrong.

Trying to get something off your chest?


Nope, I believe the same about everyone I've ever met as well. That time you were cruel to someone in the schoolyard; that time you kicked the dog; that time you yelled at a cashier because you were having a bad day... People go out of their way to do bad things much more frequently than they go out of their way to do good things (when's the last time you did something nice for someone you don't know?) and as far as I can tell I've never known anyone whose net effect on the world was positive. Not saying they aren't out there, they just don't seem to be around here.

At my fifth birthday party I ditched a neighborhood kid who considered me a friend. That obviously isn't anywhere near the equal of years of emotional abuse but it was a lousy thing to do and I can't just shrug it off by saying "well, I was just a kid" - I knew exactly what I was doing and I actively chose to make someone feel bad. Pointless little things like that make us who we are today, whichever end of it we were on. Because it's not possible to erase past misdeeds from time I'll always consider myself to be a bad person, whether or not I ever manage to have a net-positive effect on the world. It isn't a comfort to know that I'm not alone in my mediocrity-of-evil, either.

But if you've got any fan fiction, do tell. Be aware, though, that I don't actually own a hoodie or a handgun.
 
2013-09-11 02:29:50 PM  
"They fark you up, your mum and dad.    They may not mean to, but they do.They fill you with the faults they had    And add some extra, just for you.
But they were farked up in their turn    By fools in old-style hats and coats,Who half the time were soppy-stern    And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.    It deepens like a coastal shelf.Get out as early as you can,    And don't have any kids yourself."
 
2013-09-11 02:47:48 PM  

nytmare: Occam's Disposable Razor: AverageAmericanGuy: SpdrJay: Let me give anyone who needs it some sage advice on dealing with crazy/abusive relatives:

1) REMOVE THEM FROM YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

Don't call, don't follow them on Facebook, don't ask other people how they are doing.  They are now gone and will stay that way.  Forever.

And when the abusers do finally die, you'll hear about it probably years after the fact, and you won't care because they have been out of your life so long it simply doesn't matter.

What these people did isn't really closure, it's just spiteful revenge on someone who'll never know the difference.

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

I think the key part is "crazy/abusive." No one is advocating cutting ties with a family member for their religious or political leanings (I don't think)

The key part is "AverageAmericanGuy". Nothing he ever posts is constructive, usually the opposite. The best thing you can do is drop him from your recognized farkers list forever. He is a waste of bits on this forum. Much like the abusers we are talking about, he is a worthless dick. You'll learn that when you see enough of his posts.


Yeah, he hit my ignore list ages ago. He's either a horrible person or a decent, prolific troll. Either way, I don't waste my time reading his drivel.
 
2013-09-11 04:04:41 PM  

ceebeecates4: AverageAmericanGuy:

BTW, if anyone's actually listening to SpdrJay, this is actually a core Scientology dogma and practice.

It's called Disconnection, and it attempts to separate an initiate from people that care about him in order to prevent the "bad" influence of those people on him.

It's called shunning and it wasn't Scientologists who invented it.


Three examples that predate the Scientologists by a few years:

I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.
 
2013-09-11 05:09:49 PM  

Shakin_Haitian: AverageAmericanGuy: Jehovah's Witnesses aren't Christians.

Well, that's farking retarded.


No, it really isn't. J. Hoover's Witnesses are about as "Christian" (biblically speaking) as Mormons or Moonies.

Also, as a side note about Fred Phelps: Anybody else see one of his recent photos and immediately think " God is in... his Holy Temp-le. Earthly thoughts, be silent now. " I am firmly convinced that the shell we perceive as Fred long ago ceased to be human (if indeed it ever was).
 
2013-09-11 05:24:21 PM  

WeenerGord: lohphat: The Pumpkin Eater: WeenerGord: Addicted to Hate: The Fred Phelps Story

Mark Phelps feels nauseated whenever he remembers that night. He was hit over 60 times and his brother, Nate, over 200 with a mattock handle. Nate went into shock. Mark didn't. A boy who became a compulsive counter to handle the stress, Mark counted every stroke. His and Nate's. While their father screamed obscenities and his brother screamed in pain. Every 20 strokes, their mother wiped their faces off in the tub. Nate passed out anyway. That was Christmas Day.

/  just leaving that here

I had to stop reading. That made me physically ill.

Why is Fred Phelps still walking the street after that?


That's what I want to know.

Part of it is the mental illness of the other family members who witnessed the child abuse, but make excuses for it and defend the abuser while joining in on blaming the victim. Phelp's wife and other children saw all this, and participated to some extent, and then the children became lawyers to defend him. They continue to go along on his crazy abusive picketings of funerals, which could be interpreted as his own begging for the beatdown he so richly deserves.

Can anyone explain the mental illness of those family members who continue to lie for and protect the abuser? Are they just glad that it wasn't themselves that got the worst of the abuse? Are they eager to please the abuser so they don't become his next target for the worst of the abuse? Do they want to speak up, but they just don't dare to? Or do they really think that this kind of shiat is "normal" since it is all that they have ever known?


Stockholm syndrome?

believe it or not, you can be cruel and/or in denial and not be mentally ill.

you can simply be an asshole.

you can accept the ways of the world the way they were presented to you, no matter how irrational or inhumane.

the mind adapts in amazing ways.

it is harder to break out of cycles if abuse than to stay in them, even if they are dysfunctional and destructive.
 
2013-09-11 05:26:46 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: internut scholar: Mr. Ekshun: I've long said that I deserve every bad thing which will ever happen to me. I may not have aimed for the stars with the bad things I've done, but the little stuff adds up.

/If anyone even notices that I'm dead I've done it wrong.

Trying to get something off your chest?

Nope, I believe the same about everyone I've ever met as well. That time you were cruel to someone in the schoolyard; that time you kicked the dog; that time you yelled at a cashier because you were having a bad day... People go out of their way to do bad things much more frequently than they go out of their way to do good things (when's the last time you did something nice for someone you don't know?) and as far as I can tell I've never known anyone whose net effect on the world was positive. Not saying they aren't out there, they just don't seem to be around here.

At my fifth birthday party I ditched a neighborhood kid who considered me a friend. That obviously isn't anywhere near the equal of years of emotional abuse but it was a lousy thing to do and I can't just shrug it off by saying "well, I was just a kid" - I knew exactly what I was doing and I actively chose to make someone feel bad. Pointless little things like that make us who we are today, whichever end of it we were on. Because it's not possible to erase past misdeeds from time I'll always consider myself to be a bad person, whether or not I ever manage to have a net-positive effect on the world. It isn't a comfort to know that I'm not alone in my mediocrity-of-evil, either.

But if you've got any fan fiction, do tell. Be aware, though, that I don't actually own a hoodie or a handgun.


your life must be incredibly sad.

i feel sorry for you.
 
2013-09-11 05:43:53 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

HATERS GONNA HATE
 
2013-09-11 06:08:45 PM  
"This Brutal Obituary Is a Reminder to Be Good to Your Children"

Really? Why's that? She's dead; they can't hurt her. She doesn't care any more.
 
2013-09-11 06:29:40 PM  
Jimmy Kimmel?
 
2013-09-11 07:39:09 PM  

bluefoxicy: erewhon: She's a real person. I was able to pull up her info using 'other tools', there was such a person, right birthday, right number of kids, right place, deceased about the right time.

We can all use Melissa Data.


Never heard of it. Is it like SIPRNET?
 
2013-09-11 09:07:32 PM  

kwame: Coco LaFemme: HotWingAgenda:

Can I thank you for that story? It helps me to know that a damaged person can find someone who gets it, or even if they don't really get it, understands that there's something to get.

You may.

Coco LaFemme: I've been told by more than a few people over the course of our relationship that he's too damaged, that I deserve someone more put together, but those people can go to hell. I love him. It's as simple as that in my mind.

Poor guy ended up with someone who will share his painful experience in order to get praise for being so loving and bighearted.  I feel sorry for him.


Crap like this is why you've been farkied as GIGANTIC DOUCHE.
 
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  4. Click here to submit a link.

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