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(Japan Today)   Area man visits supermarket, goes on tragic poking and squishing rampage with bare hands, "leaving 103 items destroyed beyond salability for a total of 59,880 yen in damages"   (japantoday.com) divider line 47
    More: Weird, Shinji Kuroki  
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2918 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2013 at 3:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-10 03:07:00 PM  
WIth his finger or his pixelated member?
 
2013-09-10 03:07:37 PM  
That is weird....considering a Japanese man going on a poking and squishing rampage usually has a happy ending.
 
2013-09-10 03:07:40 PM  
 
2013-09-10 03:08:12 PM  
That's like 8 dollars, right?
 
2013-09-10 03:08:54 PM  
 
2013-09-10 03:10:13 PM  
Trouble in a supermarket?  Call the Cobra.  He's on the Zombie Squad.  The bottom line.
 
2013-09-10 03:10:14 PM  
I wonder if Japan has a thing over there where they ask if saki was involved?
 
2013-09-10 03:10:30 PM  
What's the distribution date for the film? How many "schooligrls" were involved?
 
2013-09-10 03:11:36 PM  
pete?
 
2013-09-10 03:12:53 PM  
FTA: The company that runs the supermarket released a statement saying they would improve security at the supermarkets to avoid future tragedies from occurring.

If they call this a tragedy then I wonder what they thought of the tsunami.
 
2013-09-10 03:12:56 PM  
As a kid, this man was told to never poke things in the store. He was enamored by the bright oranges, the strong-scented grapefruits, the oh-so-sweet tangerines. He would pick one, but his mother would yell at him "Don't poke it! You touch it, you buy it!", and he would drop the fruit, scared and in tears. This would continue for years in his mind, and each trip to the supermarket was like a nightmare to him. 'Just take one' he'd think, 'take one and pay it, that's all'. He would pick the fruit ever so gently, and maybe give it a little nudge with his fingers,  but never squeezed. All his fruit and meats were perfect in form and shape. So pristine, so... Virginal, even.

His mind snapped, all of a sudden. He screamed with the top of his lungs "No more!" and began to free himself from his worst prison: His mind.
 
2013-09-10 03:13:22 PM  
How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

funpixhell.com
 
2013-09-10 03:13:35 PM  
...he was told by a Mr. Whipple that he could not squeeze the Charmin.
 
2013-09-10 03:13:52 PM  
That is so not how you go on a RAMPAAAAAAGE!
 
2013-09-10 03:13:57 PM  
Kuroki was quoted by police as saying: "Earlier the staff didn't treat me right. I got upset."

He sure showed them.
 
2013-09-10 03:16:42 PM  

PainfulItching: That's like 8 dollars, right?


About 600 bucks.
 
2013-09-10 03:17:12 PM  

JNowe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGp0GAd1d1s


I instantly thought of this bit when I read this story.
 
2013-09-10 03:17:24 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

[funpixhell.com image 604x881]


GIS Hitomi Tanaka. NSFW, but, yeah, they're pretty big.

/Not a big fan of japanese porn, for obvious reasons
 
2013-09-10 03:17:32 PM  
www.taquitos.net

/hot
//obscure?
 
2013-09-10 03:17:42 PM  

DubtodaIll: PainfulItching: That's like 8 dollars, right?

About 600 bucks.


Or 60 I dunno I can't maths
 
2013-09-10 03:18:33 PM  
mattalltrades.files.wordpress.com

YOU ARE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN
 
2013-09-10 03:19:57 PM  
Fruit Ninja?
 
2013-09-10 03:20:04 PM  

CygnusDarius: Sin_City_Superhero: How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

[funpixhell.com image 604x881]

GIS Hitomi Tanaka. NSFW, but, yeah, they're pretty big.

/Not a big fan of japanese porn, for obvious reasons


You don't like sideways vaginas?
 
2013-09-10 03:20:42 PM  
I read that as "saladability."
 
2013-09-10 03:20:59 PM  
hamburgerdisco.com
how many koitsu?
 
2013-09-10 03:20:59 PM  
In the US this would have included a gun.
 
2013-09-10 03:21:27 PM  
He went Super Sayan all over them bake beans!
 
2013-09-10 03:31:39 PM  
Was this guy in old lady drag awhile back?
farm1.static.flickr.com

If you haven't seen Tampopo, what are you waiting for?
 
2013-09-10 03:35:01 PM  
Trisexual?

Louis Corsican: Yeah, he'll try anything: men, women, goats, chickens, dogs, mud... anything!
 
2013-09-10 03:35:22 PM  

cosmiquemuffin: Tampopo


Came here to say exactly this.... you beat me to it

//one of my favorite movies
 
2013-09-10 03:44:20 PM  
Was it Godzilla?
 
2013-09-10 03:44:32 PM  
Kinky.

cosmiquemuffin: Was this guy in old lady drag awhile back?
[farm1.static.flickr.com image 240x139]

If you haven't seen Tampopo, what are you waiting for?


Oh, the prawns! THE PRAWNS!!!
 
2013-09-10 03:49:36 PM  

aevorea: Oh, the prawns! THE PRAWNS!!!


Fried, baked, boiled, stewed, chilled, chopped, sauteed...
 
2013-09-10 03:52:02 PM  

DubtodaIll: DubtodaIll: PainfulItching: That's like 8 dollars, right?

About 600 bucks.

Or 60 I dunno I can't maths


You were right the first time. Roughly six hundred. 597.423 according to google right now. Now Korean Won is about 1000 to 1 dollar.
 
2013-09-10 03:54:07 PM  

tetsoushima: CygnusDarius: Sin_City_Superhero: How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

[funpixhell.com image 604x881]

GIS Hitomi Tanaka. NSFW, but, yeah, they're pretty big.

/Not a big fan of japanese porn, for obvious reasons

You don't like sideways vaginas?


Japanese women in porn are just fine.

But Japanese porn seems to have all the sexiness of a gyno exam. First, there will be an announcer, possibly wearing a suit or a lab coat, and a microphone. He will explain something or other to the camera man while the woman lays on the table, couch, or what have you. She may be pretending to be asleep, or she may be quivering in fear/anticipation. Then she will be undressed as sexily as a teenage boy can remove clothes from a heavy department store mannequin, leaving her wearing a pair of white granny panties. She will then be "pleasured" by the sort of vibrator your mum orders from a catalog as a "personal massager" as though everyone will be fooled, but it will be with the large knob head about the size of a tennis ball. She will have this applied to her genitals as she mewls and wimpers. This will go on long beyond any reasonable fapping time, and in fact, even a young buck will be at half mast by this time, unless he simply decided to go for broke and finish off before finding out whether they ever have intercourse. Sometimes they do have fumbling intercourse, of the sort that you would have in front of the members of your bridge club, plus your grand aunt Matilda. If there is oral sex, it will appear as though they are trying to shove a durian and shoe polish flavored popscicle in her mouth.

OTOH, this is pretty hot: (NSFW) http://www.redtube.com/153263
 
2013-09-10 03:55:14 PM  
Be honest, who hasn't wanted to take a nap on top of a pallet of bread loaves or something?
 
2013-09-10 04:02:01 PM  
That's nothing compared to this guy, "The Philadelphia Bread Squisher"

http://articles.philly.com/2000-01-28/news/25597822_1_cookie-firm-br ea d-baked-goods
 
2013-09-10 04:06:15 PM  
Closing Tulagis' at last call for two years, I saw a lot of poking and squishiness going on ..
 
2013-09-10 04:17:44 PM  

tetsoushima: CygnusDarius: Sin_City_Superhero: How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

[funpixhell.com image 604x881]

GIS Hitomi Tanaka. NSFW, but, yeah, they're pretty big.

/Not a big fan of japanese porn, for obvious reasons

You don't like sideways super hairy vaginas?

 
2013-09-10 04:20:52 PM  
As a former bakery manager, that is a very good way to get the backs of your knuckles massaged with a rolling pin off camera.
 
2013-09-10 04:21:54 PM  
Picture of the perp?


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-09-10 04:32:33 PM  
The company that runs the supermarket released a statement saying they would improve security at the supermarkets to avoid future tragedies from occurring.

5/9/2013 Never forget!
 
2013-09-10 04:34:01 PM  
 
2013-09-10 04:35:43 PM  
"The company that runs the supermarket released a statement saying they would improve security at the supermarkets to avoid future tragedies from occurring."

Life in Japan must be pretty nice if this is what they consider a tragedy.
 
2013-09-10 04:52:01 PM  
Came in here for a reference to Homer Simpson and "If it has a toothpick in it, it's free!".

Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-09-10 06:33:27 PM  
In the US a rampage means a dude with an AK and 5,000 rounds of ammo starts shooting up the place.  What lazy people those Jappos are!
 
2013-09-10 08:11:02 PM  

Fano: tetsoushima: CygnusDarius: Sin_City_Superhero: How else are you supposed to know if the mellons are ripe?

[funpixhell.com image 604x881]

GIS Hitomi Tanaka. NSFW, but, yeah, they're pretty big.

/Not a big fan of japanese porn, for obvious reasons

You don't like sideways vaginas?

Japanese women in porn are just fine.

But Japanese porn seems to have all the sexiness of a gyno exam. First, there will be an announcer, possibly wearing a suit or a lab coat, and a microphone. He will explain something or other to the camera man while the woman lays on the table, couch, or what have you. She may be pretending to be asleep, or she may be quivering in fear/anticipation. Then she will be undressed as sexily as a teenage boy can remove clothes from a heavy department store mannequin, leaving her wearing a pair of white granny panties. She will then be "pleasured" by the sort of vibrator your mum orders from a catalog as a "personal massager" as though everyone will be fooled, but it will be with the large knob head about the size of a tennis ball. She will have this applied to her genitals as she mewls and wimpers. This will go on long beyond any reasonable fapping time, and in fact, even a young buck will be at half mast by this time, unless he simply decided to go for broke and finish off before finding out whether they ever have intercourse. Sometimes they do have fumbling intercourse, of the sort that you would have in front of the members of your bridge club, plus your grand aunt Matilda. If there is oral sex, it will appear as though they are trying to shove a durian and shoe polish flavored popscicle in her mouth.

OTOH, this is pretty hot: (NSFW) http://www.redtube.com/153263


I've been told that laying very still is considered extremely hot to Japanese men.  I read an article where an American girl slept with a Japanese guy and the experience felt a little gay.  Not enough nose funnels I guess.
 
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