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(ESPN)   Manning gives us a reverse Jake, Tampa Bay snatches defeat from the jaws of victory, and we already got our first case of Rivers face. Here are your Week 2 Power Rankings   (espn.go.com) divider line 386
    More: Spiffy, Tampa Bay, Total QBR, Matt Ryan, Danny Amendola, Anquan Boldin, Colin Kaepernick, Vernon Davis, Michael Crabtree  
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3243 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Sep 2013 at 2:02 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-10 12:18:30 PM
Is this the thread?
 
2013-09-10 12:21:31 PM

Treygreen13: Is this the thread?


Yup.

Let's begin

WHAR GRAF WHAR
 
2013-09-10 12:25:52 PM
4 Falcons 0-1 Last Week: 2 Matty Ice, what happened? Atlanta had possession in the last two minutes of each half, but failed to score. Matt Ryan was 4-of-9 with an interception in that span.

What happened? The Saints' D made a stand against Matty Hype, that's what happened. He marched them right down the field in less than a minute and set them up on first and goal and then the defense dug in. Dirty bird - still tastes like chicken.

i2.photobucket.com
/I'm still hoarse from that one.
//My seats are directly above that endzone.
///An interception to Roman Harper, of all people, LULZ
 
2013-09-10 12:27:41 PM
How far will Frisco fall after Sunday's loss to Seattle. I predict Frisco will only slip to No. 3. Frisco.
 
2013-09-10 12:30:16 PM
Bold prediction for week 2: Manning will lead his team to victory at Metlife Stadium this Sunday.
 
2013-09-10 12:30:45 PM
31 plays 32 this week. IT'S ON!!!!!!
 
2013-09-10 12:32:00 PM
FTFA: RG III wasn't great, but what about Alfred Morris?

Um, yeah. Sorry, but that hole that the 'skins dug for themselves that first half was not on the legs of Morris. RGIIIandOut deserves more than "wasn't great."
 
2013-09-10 12:33:14 PM

Nabb1: 4 Falcons 0-1 Last Week: 2 Matty Ice, what happened? Atlanta had possession in the last two minutes of each half, but failed to score. Matt Ryan was 4-of-9 with an interception in that span.

What happened? The Saints' D made a stand against Matty Hype, that's what happened. He marched them right down the field in less than a minute and set them up on first and goal and then the defense dug in. Dirty bird - still tastes like chicken.

[i2.photobucket.com image 180x162]
/I'm still hoarse from that one.
//My seats are directly above that endzone.
///An interception to Roman Harper, of all people, LULZ


Am I the only one who has done a complete reversal on Drew Brees? He went from hero in beleaguered city to union douche, whiner extraordinaire over his teammates intentionally injuring other players and full-time professional victim. Fark the Saints and that shiatstain's hairline.
 
2013-09-10 12:33:47 PM
So Atlanta lost to the team that was ranked 13th (now 8th), and they only lose two spots and are number four?  Could the Falcons really beat the Texans, Packers, or Bears?  Also, the Ravens are ranked too high.  Move Atlanta to 11, everybody else up one, then insert Philly at the ten spot after Cincinatti.  That offense looked scary last night.

Also, the Bears didn't give up any sacks against an elite pass rush, and came back from a double-digit second half deficit for only the second time since 2009, all through the air against the Bengals defense.  There's a narrative nobody has highlighted, everything is about RGKnee and the NFC Least, Brady, and Manning.
 
2013-09-10 12:34:41 PM
Vikings should be much lower than 21. Ponder is just a right-handed Tebow and the Lions proved that AP can be stopped (20 yds in 17 carries after his big TD).
 
2013-09-10 12:42:31 PM
Up to 29th

Yeah, Dawg
 
2013-09-10 12:44:08 PM

Nabb1: What happened? The Saints' D made a stand against Matty Hype, that's what happened. He marched them right down the field in less than a minute and set them up on first and goal and then the defense dug in. Dirty bird - still tastes like chicken.


I feel like he could've audibled to a QB keeper on the last play and walked into the end zone, given the Saints' formation.
 
2013-09-10 12:44:19 PM
Steelers are ranked too high.  Defense will not keep them going in the age of the pass.
 
2013-09-10 12:46:32 PM
I can't see that at work, but I'm guessing SEA dropped to #3 behind DEN & SF.
 
2013-09-10 12:48:14 PM
sakanagai: Um, yeah. Sorry, but that hole that the 'skins dug for themselves that first half was not on the legs of Morris

Losing a fumble on his opening carry was certainly on Morris. The end-zone fumble was on Kyle Shanahan for calling that play in the first place.
 
2013-09-10 12:50:47 PM

2wolves: Steelers are ranked too high.  Defense will not keep them going in the age of the pass.


Or in the age of most teams being better than them.
 
2013-09-10 12:53:21 PM
Anyone want a QB?
a.espncdn.com
 
2013-09-10 12:53:43 PM

2wolves: Steelers are ranked too high.  Defense will not keep them going in the age of the pass.


And their starting center is out for the season, and their starting RB is out until week six or later.  And their schedule is brutal.  The Bungles are going to win that division.
 
2013-09-10 12:54:54 PM
Hahaha, they're STILL up Matty Hype and the Falcons' asses.  That's precious.

/Jake later, heathens
 
2013-09-10 12:55:31 PM
The Falcons are too damn high
 
2013-09-10 12:58:24 PM
Do we have to call 7 TD passes a Manning now? Can we give out a Manning award for most TDs every week?
 
2013-09-10 01:04:51 PM

Fark It: Also, the Ravens are ranked too high.


www.cynicalsmirk.com

// I want to believe we're a top-10 team
// "contender for the AFCN" is still in play...
 
2013-09-10 01:07:48 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Do we have to call 7 TD passes a Manning now? Can we give out a Manning award for most TDs every week?


5 other guys have done it, so I don't think so.
 
2013-09-10 01:08:21 PM
i.imgur.com
Welcome back, fellow Farkers, to Fark's 3rd favorite NFL-themed trivia game. This week I'll be walking you through 15 questions about the statistical happenings in Week 1 of the NFL. For those of you who are returning from last year's trivia, welcome! I've saved all your scores for the previous year so they roll ov-HAHAHAHAHA sorry, almost got that sentence out with a straight face. I don't keep score. The prize for this game is the pride you get in showing people how smart you are, and hopefully increase your knowledge of the game for whatever nefarious purposes you can dream up.

For those of you new to the trivia game, GTFO. We're full. Now let's begin! Two categories this week: Hailsand Fails


FAILS:

1. Fantasy Football's biggest single player dud this week was David Wilson with a stout -2 points, but he didn't have the worst rushing yards per attempt in the league. Which RB had the lowest yards per rush in the league? (minimum 10 carries)

2. Christian Ponder's Jake-Worthy performance this week was delightful for fans of schadenfreude everywhere, but at least he won't be recovering in an ice bath for the rest of the week like the QB that was hit the most this week. Which team's offensive line allowed the most hits on their QB this week?

3. Speaking of teams that just can't seem to get it together, what team was penalized the most this week?

4. Let's keep this ball o' fail rolling. What team had the least Time of Possession, virtually ensuring that they lost. And lose they did.

5. While not technically a loser this week (that means they won, for those of you who don't get hints) one team failed to record a sack or interception. But who?

6. Taking after his team's incompetence on a big stage, what losing Kicker missed every field goal he attempted? Being a weird stats guy, I love any person with a 0.0% chance of success next to their name.

7. Another winner in the losers bracket here, but this one's a doozy. 6 teams managed only 1 TD this week (and 1 didn't score any TDs at all), but which team set the failure bar a little higher by having the highest score among teams with only one TD?


Hails:

1. Now we're getting into the "winners", and I use quotations because some of these teams didn't win in spite of putting up a significant stat. For example, this QB was the most accurate passer this week in spite of his team losing their opening game.

2. A winner this week, what team allowed the fewest total yards?

3. After losing his mind about the Philadelphia Eagles, noted everything enthusiast Jon Gruden might have gone home and looked up who actually ran the most plays from scrimmage this weekend. And then creamed his pants again.

4. Tackles are certainly not a stat you want to see your QB record, but one QB recorded an official solo tackle. Who was it?

5. One stat you *do* want to see your team put up is # of 1st downs. What team had the most 1st downs in their win?

6. 3 teams had 3 INTs this week. 5 teams had 2 INTs. But what team had the most total yards off interceptions?

7. Not a winner this week, but pretty damn impressive - who had the highest yards per carry this week (minimum 5 rushes)?

8. Gotta toss one in here that's extraordinarily difficult. What punter absolutely rocketed a punt across the stadium for the longest punt of the week?


Bonus:
i.imgur.com

There's no question, I just think that picture is a bonus. Add a point to your final total. Or don't, whatever.

This week I'm doing you all a little favor! I made an answer sheet for easy copy/pasting! You can put your answers in the thread and everything. Neat.

Fails:
1. Lowest yards per rush -
2. Allowed most QB hits -
3. Most penalties -
4. Least time of possession-
5. No sacks or INTs -
6. Missed all his FG attempts -
7. Highest score (only one TD) -

Hails:
1. Most accurate qb -
2. Allowed fewest total yards -
3. Most plays from scrimmage -
4. QB with a solo tackle -
5. Most 1st Downs -
6. Most yards off INTs -
7. Highest YPC -
8. Longest punt -
 
2013-09-10 01:09:24 PM
Most Touchdown Passes, Game - 7

Sid Luckman, Chi. Bears vs. N.Y. Giants, Nov. 14, 1943
Adrian Burk, Philadelphia vs. Washington, Oct. 17, 1954
George Blanda, Houston vs. N.Y. Titans, Nov. 19, 1961
Y.A. Tittle, N.Y. Giants vs. Washington, Oct. 28, 1962
Joe Kapp, Minnesota vs. Baltimore, Sept. 28, 1969
Peyton Manning, Denver vs. Baltimore, Sept. 5, 2013
 
2013-09-10 01:10:46 PM

Dr Dreidel: Fark It: Also, the Ravens are ranked too high.

[www.cynicalsmirk.com image 320x240]

// I want to believe we're a top-10 team
// "contender for the AFCN" is still in play...


No.  AJ Green lit up the Bears secondary, and Jennings and Tillman are both pro-bowlers.  Think of what he can do against the Ravens.  The Ravens are a .500 team at best.  Flacco committed highway robbery, the Ravens are done, they have no money to rebuild their defense and they let their #1 WR go to the 49ers.
 
2013-09-10 01:11:14 PM

Fark It: the NFC Least


Isn't that cute!
 
2013-09-10 01:15:33 PM
Surprised the Eagles are up that high. For as good as the offense looked in the first half, it stalled in the second.
The defense looked surprisingly good though. And the special teams really impressed me.
 
2013-09-10 01:17:05 PM

Fark It: Flacco committed highway robbery, the Ravens are done, they have no money to rebuild their defense


One of these days, you people will actually read the details of his contract.
 
2013-09-10 01:18:36 PM

Fark It: the Ravens are done


I disagree. It's Week 1 (now 2), and the Ravens got torched by a strong season-opening QB. I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet, and I also know that the Stillers are kryptonite for the Bungles. Also, if the Brownies have a pulse at all, they could steal one from Cincy (I wouldn't bet on that, though).

If the defense looks as bad in Weeks 2, 3, 4 - yeah, it'll be a long, 2007-y kind of year.

// the losses of Boldin and Krueger will be tough to overcome, but we shall
// they way I see it, Boldin only has a year or two of top-flight talent left - Baltimore gambled on that, and it's a HUGE loser this year
// and for only a FARKING 6TH ROUNDER?!?!?!? ;ourg;oBS O;ub ;OBDOhego;ABD;Ob;NSD;OInsdp'binSNBI GAAAAAH I hate this game sometimes
 
2013-09-10 01:18:56 PM

dj_bigbird: Anyone want a QB?
[a.espncdn.com image 850x1432]


That is awesome
 
2013-09-10 01:19:34 PM

Dr Dreidel: and for only a FARKING 6TH ROUNDER?!?!?!?


I paid $1 for him in my fantasy football auction draft.
 
2013-09-10 01:21:05 PM

DanZero: WHAR GRAF WHAR


www.longines.com

You love me! You really love me!!
 
2013-09-10 01:29:14 PM
While I was over the moon last night that the Texans were NOT on the receiving end of an awesome comeback for once, the first 3/4 of that game was atrocious. I shudder to think what San Francisco is going to do to them in a few weeks on SNF. And that's after they play Seattle.

Really good games all weekend though. The Saints/Falcons especially.
 
2013-09-10 01:30:23 PM
Seahawks Barry beat the freaking Panthers and they're up that high?

Yeah Steelers are free falling again. They've spent three years trying to build a functional oline and it is not working. That's affecting all areas of the game for them.
 
2013-09-10 01:32:33 PM

Quasar: Seahawks Barry


That guy is an asshole.
 
2013-09-10 01:37:26 PM

JerseyTim: 31 plays 32 this week. IT'S ON!!!!!!


Saw that... was going to say, if there was any possible way to give both teams a loss, that would be the game to do it in.   Two ties isn't bad enough.
 
2013-09-10 01:38:17 PM

dletter: JerseyTim: 31 plays 32 this week. IT'S ON!!!!!!

Saw that... was going to say, if there was any possible way to give both teams a loss, that would be the game to do it in.   Two ties isn't bad enough.


Also was going to say... what is the record for safeties in a single game... Jacksonville/Oakland might break it.
 
2013-09-10 01:38:27 PM

Quasar: Seahawks Barry beat the freaking Panthers and they're up that high?

Yeah Steelers are free falling again. They've spent three years trying to build a functional oline and it is not working. That's affecting all areas of the game for them.


Yeah, going across a continent to play an early game against a top-10 defense in 90 degree weather and coming out on top is TERRIBLE.
 
2013-09-10 01:41:11 PM

dletter: dletter: JerseyTim: 31 plays 32 this week. IT'S ON!!!!!!

Saw that... was going to say, if there was any possible way to give both teams a loss, that would be the game to do it in.   Two ties isn't bad enough.

Also was going to say... what is the record for safeties in a single game... Jacksonville/Oakland might break it.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_National_Football_League_record s_ %28team%29#Safeties

You might be right.  My FF strategy for team D/ST this year is to follow the Jaguars.
 
2013-09-10 01:50:06 PM

Shame Us: Quasar: Seahawks Barry beat the freaking Panthers and they're up that high?

Yeah Steelers are free falling again. They've spent three years trying to build a functional oline and it is not working. That's affecting all areas of the game for them.

Yeah, going across a continent to play an early game against a top-10 defense in 90 degree weather and coming out on top is TERRIBLE.


You're not talking about Carolina, are you?  Because they're not a top-10 defense.  The Panthers are one of the worst teams in the NFC.
 
2013-09-10 01:54:34 PM

Fark It: Shame Us: Quasar: Seahawks Barry beat the freaking Panthers and they're up that high?

Yeah Steelers are free falling again. They've spent three years trying to build a functional oline and it is not working. That's affecting all areas of the game for them.

Yeah, going across a continent to play an early game against a top-10 defense in 90 degree weather and coming out on top is TERRIBLE.

You're not talking about Carolina, are you?  Because they're not a top-10 defense.  The Panthers are one of the worst teams in the NFC.


That is not true.
 
2013-09-10 01:55:20 PM
Carolina's front 7, especially Charles Johnson, will be one of the better defenses in the conference this season.
 
2013-09-10 01:56:16 PM

Shame Us: 2wolves: Steelers are ranked too high.  Defense will not keep them going in the age of the pass.

Or in the age of most teams being better than them.


You sound all Seahawky.
 
2013-09-10 01:56:34 PM
The Lions lead the NFC North!

The end times are upon us.
 
2013-09-10 01:58:07 PM

SilentStrider: Surprised the Eagles are up that high. For as good as the offense looked in the first half, it stalled in the second.


It slowed down in the second because the clock was on its side. Up 26-7, there was no reason to give up time of possession to the losing team.
 
2013-09-10 01:58:27 PM
 
2013-09-10 01:59:48 PM

2wolves: Shame Us: 2wolves: Steelers are ranked too high.  Defense will not keep them going in the age of the pass.

Or in the age of most teams being better than them.

You sound all Seahawky.


I'm a Seahawks fan. That doesn't change the fact that the Steelers are no longer a good team.
 
2013-09-10 02:00:07 PM
Oakland-Jacksonville this week. Game of the year!
 
2013-09-10 02:01:34 PM

sakanagai: FTFA: RG III wasn't great, but what about Alfred Morris?

Um, yeah. Sorry, but that hole that the 'skins dug for themselves that first half was not on the legs of Morris. RGIIIandOut deserves more than "wasn't great."


I'm chalking RGIII's first half performance up to "preseason practice" he looked much better in the second half. Alfred Morris has no excuse at all. He fumbled the first carry, and the pitch was a bad choice, but not that bad in execution. I put that more on Morris than RGIII.

Also: How did the Chiefs go down after stomping the Jaguars? I mean, I know it's the Jaguars, but still, going down a spot?
The Patriots are too damn high, they almost lost to the #29 team.
The Bills are too damn low, they almost beat the #5 team.
The Raiders should be above the Jets, they Jets should not have won that game.
 
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