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(SeattlePI)   When it comes to getting married, remember that 'taking the plunge' is just an expression and it does not mean you're supposed to push your new husband off a cliff   (seattlepi.com) divider line 80
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6083 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2013 at 1:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-10 12:26:25 PM
I'd love to see a remake of Black Widow (Debra Winger and Theresa Russell).  Those were some classy wife-kills-husband plots.  Pushing him off a cliff is too easy.
 
2013-09-10 12:43:38 PM
From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.
 
2013-09-10 12:59:44 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.


Except for the whole lying about it part.

She took "wink wink, nudge nudge" just a little too far.
 
2013-09-10 01:00:53 PM
She may have had second thoughts, but he was head-over-heels.
 
2013-09-10 01:10:55 PM
THIS HONEYMOON IS OVER!!!
 
2013-09-10 01:14:15 PM

mediablitz: Except for the whole lying about it part.


But if she had never told the truth, who would have ever known? And she apparently was the one who found his body days later, so I'm guessing there were some sleepless nights involved.

And this reminds me of Elaine Benes.
 
2013-09-10 01:20:01 PM
Remember when I said "To love and to hold"?


I lied.
 
2013-09-10 01:22:29 PM
OK, my headline didn't get the greenlight. I thought it was funnier than this one ...

But ... You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Subby.
 
2013-09-10 01:52:15 PM
Looks like he really fell for her.
 
2013-09-10 01:52:40 PM

Amos Quito: She may have had second thoughts, but he was head-over-heels.


You're starting to sound like an A&E special.
 
2013-09-10 01:52:54 PM
Instant annullment's gonna get ya.
 
2013-09-10 01:53:32 PM
Just read that story elsewhere. That's messed up!
 
2013-09-10 01:57:54 PM
Second degree murder, because a coont can't be charged with first degree if she takes a long hike in the woods, and walks him to a farking cliff, and pushes his ass over.
Fark the dickless DA who can't fry her ass for first degree.
He'd definitely be able to fark over a brother for having a year old roach in his ashtray.
 
2013-09-10 01:59:28 PM
He told her to shove it.
 
2013-09-10 02:00:24 PM
Man, you leave the seat up one time ...
 
2013-09-10 02:02:43 PM
Places and things to avoid when having an argument:

Knives
Guns
Cliffs
Cars
Baseball Bats
Stairways
Ropes
Sharp objects
 
2013-09-10 02:03:46 PM

mike_d85: Amos Quito: She may have had second thoughts, but he was head-over-heels.

You're starting to sound like an A&E special.


I heard it in the voice of the "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" dude.
 
2013-09-10 02:04:28 PM
No cliff hanger in this story.
 
2013-09-10 02:04:31 PM
He definitely looks more thrilled than she does.

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-09-10 02:08:20 PM

Deep Contact: No cliff hanger in this story.


www.gameshowgarbage.com
 
2013-09-10 02:09:15 PM

T.rex: He definitely looks more thrilled than she does.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]


Yes! She looks like the harpy brat who stomped her feet on the truck headliner because she wanted to go to the lake.
 
2013-09-10 02:09:22 PM
Whatta dumbass.
Not that I condone her actions in any shape or form but all she had to say was he fell and it was an accident.
 
2013-09-10 02:09:40 PM

vudukungfu: Second degree murder, because a coont can't be charged with first degree if she takes a long hike in the woods, and walks him to a farking cliff, and pushes his ass over.
Fark the dickless DA who can't fry her ass for first degree.
He'd definitely be able to fark over a brother for having a year old roach in his ashtray.


Wasn't really premeditated.  Also, he may have referenced her vajaja to the echo the cliff made when he yelled.  Who really knows though.
 
2013-09-10 02:12:24 PM
She saved him years of suffering.
 
2013-09-10 02:12:40 PM
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-09-10 02:12:55 PM
Why marry a sled hog with matronly upper arms?
She'll KILL you, dude!
 
2013-09-10 02:13:33 PM
The Loop Trail is mostly through the woods and neither of them look like the should have been hiking that trail (it's not an easy hike).

I'm starting to think a couple of newlyweds were in over their heads on a hike, got tired pissy, and then came a shove.
 
2013-09-10 02:16:03 PM
She did him a huge favor
 
2013-09-10 02:18:35 PM

mike_d85: Amos Quito: She may have had second thoughts, but he was head-over-heels.

You're starting to sound like an A&E special.


No, more like the Lifetime Channel (or as I call it, the vagina channel)
 
2013-09-10 02:19:47 PM
As..... you..... wish.....
 
2013-09-10 02:21:48 PM
So how much was the life insurance for?
 
2013-09-10 02:24:59 PM
There's another news story (UPI, IIRC) where there are texts and conversations with friends in which she states she got married only so she could have a big wedding.

So one might call this a mercy killing.

/21 years married here.
//Thou shalt not commit marriage
///Whar Cliff?
 
2013-09-10 02:27:28 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.


I understand what you're saying, but you forget we live in a female assault culture, where women are trained by other women that it's okay and even good to assault men.

She tells a friend she is having second thoughts about the marriage
She tells that friend she anticipates violence may be likely
She goes hiking with the victim after 9pm
She makes a claim he grabbed her wrist
She admits she pushed him
She doesn't report what happened for two days
 
2013-09-10 02:31:08 PM
This girl and Zimmerman should date.
 
2013-09-10 02:31:36 PM

mediablitz: The Loop Trail is mostly through the woods and neither of them look like the should have been hiking that trail (it's not an easy hike).

I'm starting to think a couple of newlyweds were in over their heads on a hike, got tired pissy, and then came a shove.


There was like a .0000003% chance last night of that happening because Lordfortuna wouldn't stop grabbing my butt while we were hiking... sooo I sort of understand, if it was something like that. Obviously not saying I approve, but I understand.
 
2013-09-10 02:32:56 PM
FTA:  "It was a place he wanted to see before he died," she said . While, how farking considerate of her that she ensured that his wish was granted.

\The names Cliff. Drop over some time.
 
2013-09-10 02:33:52 PM
So their marriage ended up.....

on the rocks.

B-)
 
2013-09-10 02:35:17 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.


Off a cliff is "away".
 
2013-09-10 02:38:17 PM
The sad truth, he's better off.
 
2013-09-10 02:39:43 PM

T.rex: He definitely looks more thrilled than she does.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]


she's got stout triseps.  That's why I get nervous when I'm with my wife near cliffs, balconies, or any high up shove-offable place.
 
2013-09-10 02:43:04 PM

T.rex: He definitely looks more thrilled than she does.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]


She's a lot beefier too.  Just another reason to not like fat chicks.
 
2013-09-10 02:43:05 PM

RoyBatty: Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.

I understand what you're saying, but you forget we live in a female assault culture, where women are trained by other women that it's okay and even good to assault men.

She tells a friend she is having second thoughts about the marriage
She tells that friend she anticipates violence may be likely
She goes hiking with the victim after 9pm
She makes a claim he grabbed her wrist
She admits she pushed him
She doesn't report what happened for two days


Yea things took a turn for shady when she lied that she never went hiking with him and then claimed he went with his buddies and never came back.

She could have played the accident gone wrong easily if she had come clean from the start....
 
2013-09-10 02:48:17 PM
Saved him the long painful road.  Like my dad always said, you're better off taking the band aid off quickly.
 
2013-09-10 02:48:28 PM
Sociopaths, man, farking sociopaths...
 
2013-09-10 02:52:15 PM
She would have gotten away with it if she were a conniving biatch.
 
2013-09-10 02:55:56 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.


From TFA, it sounds like she's still lying.

At one point, she turned to walk away, but Johnson grabbed her arm, she said.
She turned around, removed his hand from her arm and "due to her anger, she pushed Johnson with both hands in the back, and as a result, he fell face first off the cliff," the affidavit said.


How do you go from being face to face because the other person grabbed your arm to pushing them from behind so they fall face first? I think it's more likely this was premeditated with her pushing him off when he stopped to take in the view.
 
2013-09-10 03:00:42 PM
Their marriage had a rocky start.

Didn't find him for days?

Yeah, she isn't guilty at all, Seeing his life insurance policy and bank account will verify this.
 
2013-09-10 03:04:05 PM

generallyso: Benevolent Misanthrope: From TFA, it sounds like it was an accident.  She meant to push him away, not push him off a cliff.

From TFA, it sounds like she's still lying.

At one point, she turned to walk away, but Johnson grabbed her arm, she said.
She turned around, removed his hand from her arm and "due to her anger, she pushed Johnson with both hands in the back, and as a result, he fell face first off the cliff," the affidavit said.

How do you go from being face to face because the other person grabbed your arm to pushing them from behind so they fall face first? I think it's more likely this was premeditated with her pushing him off when he stopped to take in the view.


Easy.  You snatch his hand from your arm, he turns away, and you say, "JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" and push him in the back, in a fit of anger.  And he goes over the edge.

Sounds like there's more to it than I originally thought, but it's not obvious to me that she meant to send him over the edge.
 
2013-09-10 03:05:57 PM

ladyfortuna: mediablitz: The Loop Trail is mostly through the woods and neither of them look like the should have been hiking that trail (it's not an easy hike).

I'm starting to think a couple of newlyweds were in over their heads on a hike, got tired pissy, and then came a shove.

There was like a .0000003% chance last night of that happening because Lordfortuna wouldn't stop grabbing my butt while we were hiking... sooo I sort of understand, if it was something like that. Obviously not saying I approve, but I understand.


Holy crap.  How long have I been under the mistaken impression that your name was 'Lady of Tuna'?

/Probably makes more sense your way.
//It's Fark, I didn't judge, just saying.
 
2013-09-10 03:07:25 PM
She should be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger when they make a movie about this.  Just have 15 minutes of setup, then an hour and a half of witty one-liners after she picks him up and throws him off the cliff.  Then end with a touching reunion with a long lost sister.

Hey, Hollywood: you're welcome.
 
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