Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Lifehacker)   You're supposed to like paying bills. Got that, you ungrateful SOB?   (lifehacker.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

6686 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2013 at 1:19 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-09-10 11:57:33 AM  
If you have to do it, I suppose it's got a Zen about it.
 
2013-09-10 12:16:15 PM  
So instead of looking at your credit card or loan statements with dread, why not get into gratitude?

Because gratitude is a moral obligation and bills are financial ones, I guess.
 
2013-09-10 12:20:17 PM  
I don't remember where I heard this, but I love the idea of renaming bills "Invoices for Blessings Already Received."

And here I hoped to get through the day without really wanting to punch someone right in the face.
 
2013-09-10 12:21:30 PM  
Nothing worse than paying bills, except for staring at bills you don't have the money for.
 
2013-09-10 01:11:04 PM  

Sybarite: I don't remember where I heard this, but I love the idea of renaming bills "Invoices for Blessings Already Received."

And here I hoped to get through the day without really wanting to punch someone right in the face.


That sounds like something my former mother-in-law, who is at least a multi-millionaire, could have written/said.  From inside her mansion. Where she never had to worry about where the money for said bills was coming from.

/Huh, wonder why the whole "former" part is in there, eh? I did not fit in. At all.
 
2013-09-10 01:21:15 PM  
That's a fascinating perspective. I may have to try that sometime.
 
2013-09-10 01:21:46 PM  
Just sign another check and release more endorphins.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.
 
2013-09-10 01:22:01 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Nothing worse than paying bills, except for staring at bills you don't have the money for.


And realizing you're drinking your last beer.

/shudder
 
2013-09-10 01:24:51 PM  
Credit card companies are surprisingly unimpressed with an existential crisis.

"Why are you billing me? How do you know this is for me, sure I have the same name, live at the same address, but am I really the same person who incurred the debt?"

Sir if you Kant pay your bill, we will send over Guido Descartes to make sure you no longer exist.  It's you or the money, sir.

/I am one with the pun.
 
2013-09-10 01:25:21 PM  
So what about taxes?
 
2013-09-10 01:25:48 PM  

serpent_sky: Sybarite: I don't remember where I heard this, but I love the idea of renaming bills "Invoices for Blessings Already Received."

And here I hoped to get through the day without really wanting to punch someone right in the face.

That sounds like something my former mother-in-law, who is at least a multi-millionaire, could have written/said.  From inside her mansion. Where she never had to worry about where the money for said bills was coming from.

/Huh, wonder why the whole "former" part is in there, eh? I did not fit in. At all.


Sooo.... your ex is single and due to inherit a fortune?

I could fit in. Hook a brother up.
 
2013-09-10 01:27:08 PM  

sendtodave: So what about taxes?


You don't enjoy being bent over and told "Squeal like a pig, boy" ?  Commie.
 
2013-09-10 01:28:54 PM  

technofiend: Credit card companies are surprisingly unimpressed with an existential crisis.

"Why are you billing me? How do you know this is for me, sure I have the same name, live at the same address, but am I really the same person who incurred the debt?"

Sir if you Kant pay your bill, we will send over Guido Descartes to make sure you no longer exist.  It's you or the money, sir.

/I am one with the pun.


What if you use a false mailing address? That way when Descartes gets there he'll realize you just gave the bank card-teasin' coordinates.
 
2013-09-10 01:30:43 PM  
i wish i did like paying bills but i don't, trust me i really wish i did like paying bills
 
2013-09-10 01:33:06 PM  
I kind of enjoy paying my bills, but that's only because I've been through a lot of financial chaos, and am now financially stable. Every time I pay bills (which used to be a nightmare), I'm reminded of how much better things are than they used to be.
 
2013-09-10 01:36:01 PM  
Anyone who agrees with this article is either A) rich or B) on some really good shiat.

/I am neither....
 
2013-09-10 01:37:22 PM  
sounds like something my dad used to say. he grew up dirt poor, is grateful every time he gets a bill he knows he can afford to pay.

/guy`s still got psychological issues - thinks he doesn't deserve his fat govt pension.
 
2013-09-10 01:37:49 PM  

brimed03: Sooo.... your ex is single and due to inherit a fortune?

I could fit in. Hook a brother up.


He probably is, I try not to keep too up on his life after mercifully freeing myself from the misery that I was in.

I'm not terribly sure he's into guys, though. Then again, dude easily drinks 3-4 bottles of wine a day, and a few beers,  so I doubt he entirely knows what he's into at any given moment.
 
2013-09-10 01:37:57 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Nothing worse than paying bills, except for staring at bills you don't have the money for.


Ain't that the truth. While I'm thankful to have kept my job in the recent cuts, Mrs. Euphemism was not so lucky, and the bills don't stop just because the income does. It's hard to tell the kids to honor their pledges and in the next breath debate which creditor can go without a check. One day I'll be above water again, but every day you're under seems longer.
 
2013-09-10 01:43:19 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: What if you use a false mailing address? That way when Descartes gets there he'll realize you just gave the bank card-teasin' coordinates.


Mwhahaha.  Well done, sir.  Well done.

I told the post office forward all my mail to Santa, but Visa rejected my translation of cart-teasin' coordinates to polar.  The last thing I remember was thugs beating me to the tune of "The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Quaternion."


/Where's Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener to open a can of pun whoopass on everyone when we really need it?
 
2013-09-10 01:44:29 PM  
Well I don't like paying bills, but I do make a point of acknowledging that I'm paying for services I've already received.  Electricity and fresh water don't just appear out of thin air.
 
2013-09-10 01:45:01 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: technofiend: Credit card companies are surprisingly unimpressed with an existential crisis.

"Why are you billing me? How do you know this is for me, sure I have the same name, live at the same address, but am I really the same person who incurred the debt?"

Sir if you Kant pay your bill, we will send over Guido Descartes to make sure you no longer exist.  It's you or the money, sir.

/I am one with the pun.

What if you use a false mailing address? That way when Descartes gets there he'll realize you just gave the bank card-teasin' coordinates.


If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.
 
2013-09-10 01:46:50 PM  
I grew up poor my whole life into adulthood.

The stress I got to watch as my parents tried to pay bills, juggle due dates, which late fee is less than the other late fee, etc.

Then, on my own, guess what?  I used the same strategies...it was horrible.  I wanted to spend only on what I wanted and then, if anything was left, I'd pay my bills.  Had to have cable, etc.  Yeah, not so good.

Now, however, that I am no longer a young adult, I actually have reprioritized and, although it's not sexy and "hip" (women just don't flock to responsible), I enjoy paying my bills.  Even in times I have little money for my beer (Busch week!) or whatever I feel much better than when I had what I wanted and struggled with bills.

So, yeah, I do like paying bills.
 
2013-09-10 01:47:19 PM  
Omg I farking love when my exhorberent medical and student loan bills arrive.

I spread them out over the table, get extremely drunk, do a few lines of coke off of them (much better way to spend $50), and use them as a tarp for on-top-of-the-table farking.*

Oh. OH. Paying the bills. No, that sucks.

*so far, I've only done this in my daydreams. But I have goals.
 
2013-09-10 01:48:09 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Nothing worse than paying bills, except for staring at bills you don't have the money for.


I did plenty of the latter when I was unemployed, so I have learned to somewhat enjoy the former.
 
2013-09-10 01:49:10 PM  

JNowe: Well I don't like paying bills, but I do make a point of acknowledging that I'm paying for services I've already received.  Electricity and fresh water don't just appear out of thin air.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-10 01:49:57 PM  

FloydA: JNowe: Well I don't like paying bills, but I do make a point of acknowledging that I'm paying for services I've already received.  Electricity and fresh water don't just appear out of thin air.

[i105.photobucket.com image 225x225]


goddammitsomuch, I walked into that.
 
2013-09-10 01:51:32 PM  
SordidEuphemism: Lando Lincoln: Nothing worse than paying bills, except for staring at bills you don't have the money for.

Ain't that the truth. While I'm thankful to have kept my job in the recent cuts, Mrs. Euphemism was not so lucky, and the bills don't stop just because the income does. It's hard to tell the kids to honor their pledges and in the next breath debate which creditor can go without a check. One day I'll be above water again, but every day you're under seems longer.


And just as you get caught up, something happens that incurs a huge cost. Like right now, I landed a well-paying job and was finally caught up on bills (and even paying down a short term loan ahead of time) ... and my car decides to show its age. I'm looking at a nice, fat repair bill on my car, which is my family's only mode of transportation to our jobs. And once that's addressed, I'll be going on maternity leave for two months (1 week paid, one half-week paid, 5.5 weeks unpaid). Sigh.
 
2013-09-10 01:51:48 PM  
If you don't like paying bills then get control over them. Rent to expensive? Find a cheaper place to live. Electric bill to high? learn how to conserve. Credit card bills getting you down? Stop buying shiat you can't afford. It's not a hard concept people.
 
2013-09-10 01:54:42 PM  

FloydA: If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.


Nah, we started the thread referencing Sartre by pointering out the existential crisis, explicitly calling him by reference is of no value.

megarian: *so far, I've only done this in my daydreams. But I have goals.


Bonus points for mailing an aftermath-covered brick taped to one of those "give a child a nickel" return envelopes.

"Why is this brick sticky?"  "Just throw it away, junior. And wash your hands."
 
2013-09-10 01:55:05 PM  

olddeegee: If you have to do it, I suppose it's got a Zen about it.


Yes, this is called the Way of the Slave. I hold forth upon the eightfold path of Humanity, Hubris, Humour, Humility, Hunger, Humiliation, Hatred and Handing over my own earnings to some rich-ass douchebag who's never worked a day in his f*cking life. And paying bills all day makes Stephen a dull metal Humbert.
 
2013-09-10 01:59:56 PM  

technofiend: FloydA: If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.

Nah, we started the thread referencing Sartre by pointering out the existential crisis, explicitly calling him by reference is of no value.

megarian: *so far, I've only done this in my daydreams. But I have goals.

Bonus points for mailing an aftermath-covered brick taped to one of those "give a child a nickel" return envelopes.

"Why is this brick sticky?"  "Just throw it away, junior. And wash your hands."


I laughed. I'm not proud, but... well, now here we are.
 
2013-09-10 02:00:05 PM  
 In an alternate universe (or maybe country) this might be true, but more often is the case where the service provider is not happy with you getting service X and paying amount Y and would rather fark you over by adding BS or cutting services. In this reality ( and country) you basically sign your life away when you sign up for anything so paying bills isn't quite the ideological fantasy land the article makes it out to be.
 
2013-09-10 02:01:50 PM  
as i read the article
im supposed to be grateful that someone did what they said they would do

no

i expect someone to do what they said they would
 
2013-09-10 02:05:15 PM  

megarian: technofiend: FloydA: If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.

Nah, we started the thread referencing Sartre by pointering out the existential crisis, explicitly calling him by reference is of no value.

megarian: *so far, I've only done this in my daydreams. But I have goals.

Bonus points for mailing an aftermath-covered brick taped to one of those "give a child a nickel" return envelopes.

"Why is this brick sticky?"  "Just throw it away, junior. And wash your hands."

I laughed. I'm not proud, but... well, now here we are.


I will save you a seat in the "not proud of it, but laughing anyway" lounge.  Its Taco Tuesday!


www.momgetsalife.com
 
2013-09-10 02:10:29 PM  

Sybarite: I don't remember where I heard this, but I love the idea of renaming bills "Invoices for Blessings Already Received."

And here I hoped to get through the day without really wanting to punch someone right in the face.


Indeed.

JNowe: Well I don't like paying bills, but I do make a point of acknowledging that I'm paying for services I've already received.  Electricity and fresh water don't just appear out of thin air.


True, but they're definitely NOT 'blessings'. They're services you ordered. Blessings are things like a windfall. or an unexpected gift.
 
2013-09-10 02:21:12 PM  

serpent_sky: brimed03: Sooo.... your ex is single and due to inherit a fortune?

I could fit in. Hook a brother up.

He probably is, I try not to keep too up on his life after mercifully freeing myself from the misery that I was in.

I'm not terribly sure he's into guys, though. Then again, dude easily drinks 3-4 bottles of wine a day, and a few beers,  so I doubt he entirely knows what he's into at any given moment.


What, no bourbon?
 
2013-09-10 02:23:26 PM  

ReapTheChaos: If you don't like paying bills then get control over them. Rent to expensive? Find a cheaper place to live. Electric bill to high? learn how to conserve. Credit card bills getting you down? Stop buying shiat you can't afford. It's not a hard concept people.


It's pretty amazing how easy everything is when you oversimplify it.
 
2013-09-10 02:24:56 PM  

technofiend: FloydA: If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.

Nah, we started the thread referencing Sartre by pointering out the existential crisis, explicitly calling him by reference is of no value.



You're just Fanon the flames of argument for the anti-pun crowd.  Well you Arendt going to get away with it this time!  I don't have time to write a Thoreau refutation of your anti-pun stance, but I can tell you that it makes me so nauseated that I think I'm going to Barth.
 
2013-09-10 02:36:36 PM  
Well, it's either pay your bills or a repo guy shows up and teleports away shiat you already paid for.
i2.wp.com
 
2013-09-10 02:44:24 PM  

FloydA: technofiend: FloydA: If you ignore them for long enough, problems generally Sartre themselves out.

Nah, we started the thread referencing Sartre by pointering out the existential crisis, explicitly calling him by reference is of no value.


You're just Fanon the flames of argument for the anti-pun crowd.  Well you Arendt going to get away with it this time!  I don't have time to write a Thoreau refutation of your anti-pun stance, but I can tell you that it makes me so nauseated that I think I'm going to Barth.


31.media.tumblr.com

"Daaaaaaaaa, I heard dat!"*

*Thanks to Fark's notification filter
 
2013-09-10 02:57:13 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: It's pretty amazing how easy everything is when you oversimplify it.


Seems to be a lot of that lately.
"What, you're poor?  Well just lower your bills, then you won't be as poor!"
 
2013-09-10 03:08:09 PM  
The only bills I hate paying are my HOA and my insurance, because they never go away and they are there every month. Now my two favorite bills each month are my ones for my CC and my windows. Both of them should be paid off within the next 8 months, sooner if I get that damn promotion. (knock on wood)
 
2013-09-10 03:11:30 PM  

MythDragon: Well, it's either pay your bills or a repo guy shows up and teleports away shiat you already paid for.
[i2.wp.com image 600x337]



Or they just cut it out...
media.2oceansvibe.com
 
2013-09-10 03:18:00 PM  

give me doughnuts: MythDragon: Well, it's either pay your bills or a repo guy shows up and teleports away shiat you already paid for.
[i2.wp.com image 600x337]


Or they just cut it out...
[media.2oceansvibe.com image 400x280]



I'm totes watching that tonight!
 
2013-09-10 03:21:41 PM  

FloydA: You're just Fanon the flames of argument for the anti-pun crowd. Well you Arendt going to get away with it this time! I don't have time to write a Thoreau refutation of your anti-pun stance, but I can tell you that it makes me so nauseated that I think I'm going to Barth.


That's just beautiful, man. Beautiful.

If I could get a Hannah Arendt, Dorothy Parker and Madame Curie (before she was *really* hot) party going it would be soooo awesome.

/Use my time machine to kill Hitler when I could hand Joan of Arc a fire extinguisher and invite her clubbing in 1980's Paris? Rien, monsieur, rien.
 
2013-09-10 03:23:51 PM  

Cybernetic: I kind of enjoy paying my bills, but that's only because I've been through a lot of financial chaos, and am now financially stable. Every time I pay bills (which used to be a nightmare), I'm reminded of how much better things are than they used to be.


This.  I always feel grateful.  Nothing like near-bankruptcy and constant thoughts of suicide to make you appreciate each day that you didn't give up on.
 
2013-09-10 03:27:20 PM  

groppet: The only bills I hate paying are my HOA and my insurance, because they never go away and they are there every month. Now my two favorite bills each month are my ones for my CC and my windows. Both of them should be paid off within the next 8 months, sooner if I get that damn promotion. (knock on wood)


I sincerely hope it comes through for you, sir or madam.
 
2013-09-10 03:33:22 PM  
If every bill were for a service that I both wanted and received as described....he might have a point.

The government screws around with pretty much everything.  You can't do any sort of business without feeling their impact.  Whether you want to or not, you're footing the bill for a million things you probably don't agree with.  A cell phone where I live (the exact same model) costs 30% more than the US because of higher taxes and more workers rights/higher minimum wage.  If I 'choose' to purchase a cell phone, or (if you feel electronics are non-essential) *food* I'm not just paying for food.  I'm paying for a lot more.

Still, when you buy something, we're talking about a percentage.  I don't just mean sales tax, but all the taxes everyone paid, government subsidies, trade policies/customs duties/etc...that all screws with the market...but then you've got things you don't have a choice in paying at all.  Passive taxes - things like income tax or property tax....you'll shut up and you'll pay or you will be punished.  For most American's, the largest bill they pay each year, is 'taxes'.

Then you've got the B.S. stuff that isn't a sales tax, but is a fee.  Often it is tax related though.  A speeding ticket, for example.  And let's not pretend those are about saving lives, we have factual, actual data that proves the contrary.  In some places, just owning a car, costs a small fortune in registration fees and city stickers.  For example, if I were to watch a movie on Netflix, on my cell phone, with my current plan - I'd owe ~$400 or so.  But if I had paid $30 before hand, I could have watched 10 movies @ $3 a piece.  That's some b.s. fees.  Banks are a good place to find more of these.

Then you've got questionable deals.  When you are promised X but sold Y.  Or when you want X but only one company sells it (this is doubly true when the government encourages it).  So, you can buy X, but you are getting screwed.  Some might argue that Student Loans are a great example.  But all sorts of stuff falls into this category, my landlord told me how my apartment was ultra-quiet, designed by sound engineers, blah, blah, blah.  He lied.  But it's not in the contract, and 'ultra-quiet' is legally defined.  A salesman assured me my used car would be maintenance free - but it isn't...and I'm still stuck paying for it.

Then you've got exploitative deals.  Heck, some would say student loans fit in here.  This is when you need something really bad, and someone else will happily screw you over.  Pawn shops and pay day loans come to mind, I'd argue a lot of credit card deals and other types of loans fit into here.  Places where you can buy a soda, but it's $6 dollars, because *FARK YOU*.  Or, at the airport, where they confiscate what you have, then sell you another at an insane markup.  Rent to own stuff fits in here too.

For the stuff that doesn't involve the government, sure, you have *some* level of choice.  But it's not really a choice.
 
2013-09-10 03:58:47 PM  

technofiend: FloydA: You're just Fanon the flames of argument for the anti-pun crowd. Well you Arendt going to get away with it this time! I don't have time to write a Thoreau refutation of your anti-pun stance, but I can tell you that it makes me so nauseated that I think I'm going to Barth.

That's just beautiful, man. Beautiful.

If I could get a Hannah Arendt, Dorothy Parker and Madame Curie (before she was *really* hot) party going it would be soooo awesome.

/Use my time machine to kill Hitler when I could hand Joan of Arc a fire extinguisher and invite her clubbing in 1980's Paris? Rien, monsieur, rien.


i105.photobucket.com i105.photobucket.com
i105.photobucket.com

Enjoy.
 
Displayed 50 of 59 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report