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(Slothed)   Man wakes up from surgery, doesn't recognize his wife then starts hitting on her. She just wants him to shut up and eat his damn cracker   (slothed.com) divider line 30
    More: Sappy  
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5197 clicks; posted to Video » on 10 Sep 2013 at 9:44 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-10 09:14:12 AM
I didn't get crackers or a hot lady after my (triple) hernia surgery.  I got "we found a third hernia and had to get creative" and "now pee in this bucket or we won't let you leave."

I also got jabbed twice when the prepping nurse slipped while shaving me.  I wanted to smack her silly when she giggled and said, "Gee I don't know why I keep doing that!"
 
2013-09-10 10:00:08 AM
I just read a joke the other day....

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"
Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."
She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"
 
2013-09-10 11:53:59 AM
That's truly awesome.
He told the truth while drugged!
 
2013-09-10 12:32:21 PM
"Wow, I hit the jackpot!"

LOL
 
2013-09-10 12:42:29 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: That's truly awesome.
He told the truth while drugged!


Now I want to see what the missus looks like.

/for purely scientific purposes, of course
 
2013-09-10 12:45:41 PM
 
2013-09-10 12:58:04 PM

bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:


Not exactly my type, but it does look like she has nice teeth.  I'll give her that.
 
2013-09-10 01:21:23 PM
Fake, staged, phony. Yes, I am cynical.
 
2013-09-10 01:23:18 PM

sweet-daddy-2: Fake, staged, phony. Yes, I am cynical.


Yep. From random hot chick to "babe" in 10 seconds.
 
2013-09-10 01:28:53 PM

bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:


She has that haircut that fat white girls get when they give up and just start dating black guys.
 
2013-09-10 01:40:09 PM

bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:


Thanks, I was wondering.  She sure sounded sexy.
 
2013-09-10 02:18:05 PM

BonesJackson: bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:

Not exactly my type, but it does look like she has nice teeth.  I'll give her that.


i939.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-10 02:57:37 PM

sweet-daddy-2: Fake, staged, phony. Yes, I am cynical.


I might have to agree. That's one odd looking recovery room.
 
2013-09-10 03:24:53 PM
Maybe I just spend too much time around drunk people/Farkers, but that guy is defiantly faking a slur. So yeah, staged

/Buzz Killington, etc...
//moar slashies
 
2013-09-10 03:51:43 PM
Is that a dog paw print on his hospital gown? Did they send him to a vet?
 
2013-09-10 04:34:41 PM

redsquid: Is that a dog paw print on his hospital gown? Did they send him to a vet?


Probably Penn State, and they do have a decent vet program there.

So my guess is both....
 
2013-09-10 04:39:15 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: BonesJackson: bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:

Not exactly my type, but it does look like she has nice teeth.  I'll give her that.


All that AND home-schooled? BONUS!
 
2013-09-10 05:36:41 PM

redsquid: Is that a dog paw print on his hospital gown? Did they send him to a vet?


It's the paper gown from the "Bear Hug" patient heating/cooling system.  The gown has a little port in it to stuff a largish air hose in there, and you can dial the machine to blow hot or cold air over the patient.
 
2013-09-10 06:58:09 PM
Memes have ruined me. Every time she went "Eat the cracker" I thought of:

static.someecards.com
 
2013-09-10 07:54:27 PM
This is page 54 from the "Tricking Your Wife Into Anal" Playbook. The "enchanted amnesiac".
 
2013-09-10 08:14:06 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: That's truly awesome.
He told the truth while drugged!


I woke up from a double cocktail of truth serum in a military hospital and was being wheeled down a hallway.
Being a cop I was making siren noises. "Wooooo Woooooooo"
and stopped when two female officers came around the corner.
I looked at the lieutenant (hottie) and said, "Damn, you're beautiful" then at the major (Bulldyke looking) and then at her name tag [McClain] and said " I have a friend named McClain"

They never got my secrets.
 
2013-09-10 08:17:05 PM
Of  course, the fun began wen two female orderlies came to my room to tuck me in and I began undressing. (I had dated them both, unbeknownst to them) and they were all " Hey hey hey, you don't need to strip" and I was all, "aww you've both seen me nekkid"
Then the sergeant who was escorting me had a good laugh.
 
2013-09-10 09:09:56 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: BonesJackson: bigbabysurfer: Here's a pic of the couple:

Not exactly my type, but it does look like she has nice teeth.  I'll give her that.


I have travelled far to find that woman and say "how about you move in with me in my mom's basement" loose that lamer your with
 
2013-09-10 09:20:01 PM

sweet-daddy-2: Fake, staged, phony. Yes, I am cynical.


ShaggyS3284: Maybe I just spend too much time around drunk people/Farkers, but that guy is defiantly faking a slur. So yeah, staged

/Buzz Killington, etc...
//moar slashies



What amazes me about Farkers (and the internet consuming public in general) is they'll see something like this with at least a plausible claim to reality and cry foul, then they'll see something like  this link a little further down the page that's undoubtedly fake (it's a damn beer commercial) and everyone's fawning over how inspiring it was.  Everything from the lighting, sound, and editing in that commercial, even the premise, is fabricated.  It's like you people have developed a Pavlovian response to schmaltzy sentimentality that won't let you enjoy a cute video unless it was produced by Hallmark.

/yeah, I said you people.
 
2013-09-11 01:04:07 AM
Nice try Jimmy Kimmel. Nice try.
 
2013-09-11 01:06:55 AM
I wonder if she'll be pissed at him for hitting on her when he thought she was just some random chick.
 
2013-09-11 03:40:54 AM

BobNesta420: I wonder if she'll be pissed at him for hitting on her when he thought she was just some random chick.


that's how you know it's fake. If it was real, she would have asked him what her name was, and then been pissed off if he'd forgotten.
 
2013-09-11 11:21:09 AM
Fake!
 
2013-09-11 11:40:08 AM

Wolf892: BobNesta420: I wonder if she'll be pissed at him for hitting on her when he thought she was just some random chick.

that's how you know it's fake. If it was real, she would have asked him what her name was, and then been pissed off if he'd forgotten.


4.bp.blogspot.com
That's why reminders like this come in handy.
 
2013-09-11 01:58:50 PM

iron_city_ap: Nice try Jimmy Kimmel. Nice try.


This
 
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