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(NPR)   Smartwatches are the next step in "Quantified self-life logging," which is a really fancy way of saying "looking f*cking stupid"   (npr.org) divider line 47
    More: Fail, quantified self, iWatch, logging, apple devices, Dick Tracy, Forrester Research, reasonable expectation of privacy  
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1156 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Sep 2013 at 12:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 11:42:33 PM
I'd generally agree, subby, but then I came across this: The Pebble. I don't know if it really counts as a smart watch, as it's more just a watch that interfaces with your phone via bluetooth. But it does seem pretty nifty and not pretentious or ugly looking. I like the idea of the e-paper watch face, because it really doesn't look like a screen (based on my experience with my Kindle).
 
2013-09-10 12:40:53 AM
I still prefer my Omicron Spymaster.
 
2013-09-10 12:46:04 AM
What I love about my phone?

I don't have to wear a farking watch.
 
2013-09-10 12:48:51 AM

RoyBatty: What I love about my phone?

I don't have to wear a farking watch.


Sure, but those long-winded meetings with the boss, it's harder to take a stealthy timecheck with a phone.
 
2013-09-10 12:57:04 AM

mamoru: I'd generally agree, subby, but then I came across this: The Pebble. I don't know if it really counts as a smart watch, as it's more just a watch that interfaces with your phone via bluetooth. But it does seem pretty nifty and not pretentious or ugly looking. I like the idea of the e-paper watch face, because it really doesn't look like a screen (based on my experience with my Kindle).


The Pebble caught my interest as well. The fact that it's an e-ink screen is important because of battery life; I wouldn't want to be charging that daily, too.

Still, at $150, I've held off thus far.
 
2013-09-10 01:12:21 AM
It's an obvious progression. Just like a pocket watch being replaced by a wristwatch. You don't have to pull it out of a pocket to get some use out of it. It's WWI all over again.
 
2013-09-10 01:19:23 AM
media.npr.org
Are they just trying to be cute with that wire?
 
2013-09-10 01:20:39 AM

RoyBatty: What I love about my phone?

I don't have to wear a farking watch.


What I love about my wristwatch? I don't have to fumble in my pockets for my phone.

/not a smartwatch. A $40 Timex
 
2013-09-10 01:22:02 AM
I don't need a watch for self-flogging. That's just silly.

/dnrtfa
 
2013-09-10 01:25:51 AM
Waiting on the smart ring
 
2013-09-10 01:31:43 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-10 01:41:31 AM
What's old is new.

Pocketwatch - pain cause it's in a pocket. -> wristwatch. Phone comes along, oh boy, I can make calls, and it has a clock.
 -> Smartphones that.... you still have to pull out of your pocket.

It was an inevitable progression. Personally derping around on a smartphone usually is just that.

I'm probably going to go with 'why not both' and 'what's the least stupid compromise' and that will involve me carrying my smartphone in my pocket for phone stuff, and continuing to wear my Grandfather's wristwatch on my arm as it 1) looks awesome 2) keeps great time without ever needing charging and 3) links me to my Family.

Plus, I can check the time in a millisecond it's going to take you to fumble your phone out your pants.
 
2013-09-10 01:56:07 AM
We're not so far from becoming the Gargoyle from Snow Crash.

"Gargoyles are no fun to talk to. They never finish a sentence. They are adrift in a laser-drawn world, scanning retinas in all directions, doing background checks on everyone within a thousand yards, seeing everything in visual light, infrared, millimeter-wave radar, and ultrasound all at once. You think they're talking to you, but they're actually poring over the credit record of some stranger on the other side of the room, or identifying the make and model of airplanes flying overhead. For all he knows, Lagos is standing there measuring the length of Hiro's cock through his trousers while they pretend to make conversation."
 
2013-09-10 02:02:35 AM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comencrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

I still have both of these watches...I guess I was wearing a smart watch before it was cool. *puts on hipster glasses*
 
2013-09-10 02:07:16 AM
www.ipoll.com
 
2013-09-10 02:11:40 AM

godwin5: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 176x229][encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 163x233]

I still have both of these watches...I guess I was wearing a smart watch before it was cool. *puts on hipster glasses*


I had the Ironman datalink watch. Sadly mine was eventually lost in Lake Michigan. I was also a little disappointed that the programming software only worked on a CRT monitor. Just prior to losing it I kept a CRT monitor handy just for programming it.

www.weasel.com

It probably kept on working somewhere at the bottom of Lake Michigan for about 3-4 years after it was lost.
 
2013-09-10 02:19:39 AM
To me it seems more reasonable to put a fitness tracker on your leg than your wrist. I'd rather track how many steps I take than how many beers I pour.
 
2013-09-10 02:22:44 AM
Read that as Swatch. hypebeast.com

Had a mad crush on a girl who wore a Swatch branded shirt in High School back in '87. She's now a teabag born-again christian. Cest la vie
 
2013-09-10 02:42:58 AM

JohnnyC: I had the Ironman datalink watch. Sadly mine was eventually lost in Lake Michigan. I was also a little disappointed that the programming software only worked on a CRT monitor. Just prior to losing it I kept a CRT monitor handy just for programming it.


Okay, now I'm genuinely curious. How the heck did the software know it was running on a CRT monitor? Normally the software has no clue what is on the other end of that VGA cable. Was it some weird low-level programming witchcraft from the old DOS days, like all that funky scanline trickery old Atari systems used to do?
 
2013-09-10 02:45:32 AM

RoyBatty: What I love about my phone?

I don't have to wear a farking watch.


Even better, you don't even have to unlock your phone these days, thanks to the magic of OLED.

cdn.conversations.nokia.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-09-10 02:56:11 AM

Mad_Radhu: JohnnyC: I had the Ironman datalink watch. Sadly mine was eventually lost in Lake Michigan. I was also a little disappointed that the programming software only worked on a CRT monitor. Just prior to losing it I kept a CRT monitor handy just for programming it.

Okay, now I'm genuinely curious. How the heck did the software know it was running on a CRT monitor? Normally the software has no clue what is on the other end of that VGA cable. Was it some weird low-level programming witchcraft from the old DOS days, like all that funky scanline trickery old Atari systems used to do?



The sensor on the watch was programmed by pointing it at the CRT. It used the light and frequencies from the watch software on the computer . Kind of like how light guns only work on CRT's not LCD's.
 
2013-09-10 03:03:01 AM

Mad_Radhu: JohnnyC: I had the Ironman datalink watch. Sadly mine was eventually lost in Lake Michigan. I was also a little disappointed that the programming software only worked on a CRT monitor. Just prior to losing it I kept a CRT monitor handy just for programming it.

Okay, now I'm genuinely curious. How the heck did the software know it was running on a CRT monitor? Normally the software has no clue what is on the other end of that VGA cable. Was it some weird low-level programming witchcraft from the old DOS days, like all that funky scanline trickery old Atari systems used to do?


I think it had to do with the refresh rate of the monitor. The software ran on Win95 or Win98, but no other versions. I remember it used to put the monitor into a special mode and would flash. I would hold the watch up in front of the screen and it would start beeping (meaning it was getting programmed). It would do that for about 10 seconds or so and then the watch would be programmed with all the setting I had put in.
 
2013-09-10 03:03:17 AM

skinink: We're not so far from becoming the Gargoyle from Snow Crash.

"Gargoyles are no fun to talk to. They never finish a sentence. They are adrift in a laser-drawn world, scanning retinas in all directions, doing background checks on everyone within a thousand yards, seeing everything in visual light, infrared, millimeter-wave radar, and ultrasound all at once. You think they're talking to you, but they're actually poring over the credit record of some stranger on the other side of the room, or identifying the make and model of airplanes flying overhead. For all he knows, Lagos is standing there measuring the length of Hiro's cock through his trousers while they pretend to make conversation."


I have a special place in my heart still for Snow Crash, but after a bunch of people finally convinced me to read the Sprawl trilogy by Gibson that Snow Crash was based on, I get a sour taste from Stephenson's writing.
 
2013-09-10 03:08:31 AM

mamoru: I'd generally agree, subby, but then I came across this: The Pebble. I don't know if it really counts as a smart watch, as it's more just a watch that interfaces with your phone via bluetooth. But it does seem pretty nifty and not pretentious or ugly looking. I like the idea of the e-paper watch face, because it really doesn't look like a screen (based on my experience with my Kindle).


That's actually kind of cool, much better than what I've seen from Samsung or even that very limited LG watch that came out in 2009, still think the idea is a bit of a novelty though. Have you seen this:

http://autos.yahoo.com/blogs/motoramic/nissan-unveils-nismo-smartwat ch -concept-performance-wrist-205346544.html
 
2013-09-10 03:17:55 AM
eyup
 
2013-09-10 03:27:15 AM

HotWingAgenda: skinink: We're not so far from becoming the Gargoyle from Snow Crash.

"Gargoyles are no fun to talk to. They never finish a sentence. They are adrift in a laser-drawn world, scanning retinas in all directions, doing background checks on everyone within a thousand yards, seeing everything in visual light, infrared, millimeter-wave radar, and ultrasound all at once. You think they're talking to you, but they're actually poring over the credit record of some stranger on the other side of the room, or identifying the make and model of airplanes flying overhead. For all he knows, Lagos is standing there measuring the length of Hiro's cock through his trousers while they pretend to make conversation."

I have a special place in my heart still for Snow Crash, but after a bunch of people finally convinced me to read the Sprawl trilogy by Gibson that Snow Crash was based on, I get a sour taste from Stephenson's writing.


You should read "The Big U" or "Zodiac"
 
2013-09-10 04:41:33 AM
If this thing plays video it's going to be difficult to view movie clips while jerking off with the same hand. Talk about neck cramps and the shame of watching my poor technique.
 
2013-09-10 05:30:43 AM
So Subby is "quantfied self-life logging"...
/am i doin it right?
 
2013-09-10 05:38:53 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: [media.npr.org image 462x346]
Are they just trying to be cute with that wire?


That is the power cord, watch is AC and comes with either an eight or twelve foot cord
 
2013-09-10 05:41:09 AM
"Quantified self-life logging"

newempressmagazine.com
 
2013-09-10 05:59:18 AM

WhiskeySticks: If this thing plays video it's going to be difficult to view movie clips while jerking off with the same hand. Talk about neck cramps and the shame of watching my poor technique.


They should build a clip into the band that allows you to use it as a flip down screen while attached to a baseball cap. Just like those roof mounted screens for cars. Perfect for fapping.
 
2013-09-10 06:24:58 AM
data.tumblr.com

Now with video!
 
2013-09-10 07:14:59 AM
www.troll.me
 
2013-09-10 07:39:56 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: [media.npr.org image 462x346]
Are they just trying to be cute with that wire?


I suppose so because that is just farking stupid.

I am interested to see where smart watches go, but they are no where near where I would buy them. The only one that comes close so far is this one:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/omate/omate-truesmart-water-resi st ant-standalone-smartwa

The only thing that I worry about is do I have to have a data connection through a carrier because there is no farking way I am paying $20 to wear my watch every month.
 
2013-09-10 08:19:21 AM
I've been holding off getting a smart watch or equivalent because of the battery life issues. However, now you can go days between charges on some of these watches so I am becoming more interested again.
 
2013-09-10 08:35:22 AM
The thing that I look forward to with Smart Watches is when they begin cramming in all manner of health and biometrics sensors. I want something that can tell me if I'm dehydrated or my blood sugar is doing something insane, etc. I am pretty sure I could live a healthier life with a little bit of objective monitoring and the occasional reminder to treat myself right.
 
kab
2013-09-10 08:40:41 AM
I'm so looking forward to smart watches.... oh wait, I'm not... because having things hanging off your wrist is goddamn annoying.

Also, 'quantified self' isn't going to gain traction, it takes too long to type or say.   So go with 'quelf'.   You won't sound any more retarded than folks who say tweet or phablet, trust me.
 
2013-09-10 08:52:18 AM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-09-10 10:46:35 AM
Please buy a smart watch.  The NSA needs all your vital signs or the terrorists win.
 
2013-09-10 11:28:15 AM
Ugh, no. Smartwatches are a "thing" because there was a rumour that Apple was coming out with one. So samsung and sony and all the rest have tripped overthemselves to beat them to the punch.

Sure, maybe there were "smart"watches before, but since the winter, there's been a definitive marketing effort aimed at trying to beat Apple to the game. Because as retarded as tablets are, Apple was right. Going off the "sucker and money soon parted", they created a market. These other tech companies don't want to be second again.
 
2013-09-10 11:37:17 AM
Absolutely love my Kickstarter model Pebble, but have no idea what they're on about regarding 'quantified self-life logging' since the most it usually feed back to the phone is when I tell it to switch tracks when listening to music. It's quite nice to be able to leave the phone in my pocket and see at a glance to my wrist what the email that just came in said or what my girlfriend just texted me about. I can have the phone sitting plugged in on a shelf hooked up to speakers when I'm working on something in the house or garage and skip tracks using it. And, of course, see what time it is without having to hit any buttons on the phone to wake the screen up, even in the dark (you can set it to activate the backlight with a quick shake of the wrist).
 
2013-09-10 11:43:31 AM

sure haven't: Ugh, no. Smartwatches are a "thing" because there was a rumour that Apple was coming out with one. So samsung and sony and all the rest have tripped overthemselves to beat them to the punch.

Sure, maybe there were "smart"watches before, but since the winter, there's been a definitive marketing effort aimed at trying to beat Apple to the game. Because as retarded as tablets are, Apple was right. Going off the "sucker and money soon parted", they created a market. These other tech companies don't want to be second again.


Samsung released it's first smart watch in 2009, unless of course you live in an alternative time line and are just visiting ours.

The Samsung watch is just to show a proof of concept.
 
2013-09-10 12:29:17 PM

sure haven't: Ugh, no. Smartwatches are a "thing" because there was a rumour that Apple was coming out with one. So samsung and sony and all the rest have tripped overthemselves to beat them to the punch.

Sure, maybe there were "smart"watches before, but since the winter, there's been a definitive marketing effort aimed at trying to beat Apple to the game. Because as retarded as tablets are, Apple was right. Going off the "sucker and money soon parted", they created a market. These other tech companies don't want to be second again.


It all depends on what we are talking about with the term "smart" watches. Cell phone watches have been around for many years and are getting better by the year. Android watches that do not have cell phone capability have been around for a decent amount of time as well. I would imagine that because cell phone watches usually can't do the same as the Android watches, the combination of the two might be what is required to make a true smart watch. However, absolutely nothing about the Apple/Samsung response is beating anyone to the punch.
 
2013-09-10 12:59:07 PM

theflatline: Samsung released it's first smart watch in 2009, unless of course you live in an alternative time line and are just visiting ours.


And tablets have been around since like 2001 when Bill Gates tried to introduce them.

Open your eyes. The rumour hit the market this year, and there has been a distinct creation of the "smartwatch" category. Anything before that wasn't marketed as such. And there was no interest before the Apple rumour. If there was interest, they would've been popular items. But now all we hear about his smartwatch this and smartwatch that.
 
2013-09-10 03:06:49 PM

theflatline: sure haven't: Ugh, no. Smartwatches are a "thing" because there was a rumour that Apple was coming out with one. So samsung and sony and all the rest have tripped overthemselves to beat them to the punch.

Sure, maybe there were "smart"watches before, but since the winter, there's been a definitive marketing effort aimed at trying to beat Apple to the game. Because as retarded as tablets are, Apple was right. Going off the "sucker and money soon parted", they created a market. These other tech companies don't want to be second again.

Samsung released it's first smart watch in 2009, unless of course you live in an alternative time line and are just visiting ours.

The Samsung watch is just to show a proof of concept.


Didn't LG introduce one in 2009 as well?
 
2013-09-10 05:43:44 PM
"I think we are at version 0.1 of human instrumentation," he says.

So... what you're saying is the next steps are some sort of human instrumentality project?
 
2013-09-10 10:09:09 PM

Znuh: I'm probably going to go with 'why not both' and 'what's the least stupid compromise' and that will involve me carrying my smartphone in my pocket for phone stuff, and continuing to wear my Grandfather's wristwatch on my arm as it 1) looks awesome 2) keeps great time without ever needing charging and 3) links me to my Family.


Perk No. 3 of wearing a nice watch: The ladies will notice.
 
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