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(Medium)   "Dear guy who just made my burrito, this is why we'll always have minimum wage jobs"   (medium.com) divider line 67
    More: Fail, minimum wages  
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34372 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-09 03:40:41 PM  
17 votes:
If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.
2013-09-09 03:41:49 PM  
10 votes:
Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.
2013-09-09 04:38:21 PM  
8 votes:

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
2013-09-09 04:02:26 PM  
8 votes:

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.
2013-09-09 03:29:21 PM  
8 votes:
As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.
2013-09-09 05:53:48 PM  
6 votes:
Some mornings when I wake up, my MS sucks, and I can't stand because my legs just spazz wildly and I fall down. My apartment is not even remotely handicap accessible, and I can't afford ones that are, so that means I end up eating candy/whatever is within reach of my bedroom, crawling to the bathroom when I can't hold my crutches, and generally wasting a day in bed. To me, that seems like something worthy of getting mad about...

This guys inability to open the burrito, mix up the ingredients, then re-close it successfully, a task I've witnessed my 4 year old nephew perform, is not something he should be mad at other people about.
2013-09-09 04:09:31 PM  
6 votes:

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?
2013-09-09 05:56:20 PM  
5 votes:
ITT: People I can easily identify that did not read the article to the end.
2013-09-09 05:54:21 PM  
5 votes:
Sounds like the kind of thing that I'd compose, in my head, while eating said burrito, consider positing to Facebook, decide life is too short to bother and just crap the thing out a few hours later.
2013-09-09 03:54:55 PM  
5 votes:
this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.
2013-09-09 05:59:22 PM  
4 votes:
Dear blogger,

Your blog sucks.

You should never be allowed to call yourself a 'writer' ever again.
2013-09-09 03:58:16 PM  
4 votes:
I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.
2013-09-09 06:18:17 PM  
3 votes:
I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
sustainabledad.com
2013-09-09 06:07:11 PM  
3 votes:

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.
2013-09-09 06:04:56 PM  
3 votes:

Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?


Yes, except it was bullshiat and a cop out to avoid having to deal with any conflict from the post
2013-09-09 06:03:41 PM  
3 votes:

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


It failed.
2013-09-09 05:53:20 PM  
3 votes:

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


Yup. You get what you pay for.  I'd happily pay an extra 50 cents to get it rolled right.

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Maybe, but I would wager people in the third world also prefer their food properly prepared, and complain about it accordingly.
2013-09-09 03:48:31 PM  
3 votes:
Crazy and off meds is no waY TO GET THROUGH LIFE OR COMEDY.
2013-09-09 06:41:29 PM  
2 votes:

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Those are tacos, ese.
2013-09-09 06:32:49 PM  
2 votes:

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


yet here you are
2013-09-09 06:29:30 PM  
2 votes:
While the writer has a point, he is mistaken the burrito guy is working for him.   Burrito wrapper guy is working for Burrito Corp Limited.

Burrito Corp Limited probably wants Burrito Wrapper guy to make a single burrito in X time so X burritos in one day can be made.

In an attempt to be more efficient at his job, burrito wrapper guy learned that instead of moving eight things eight inches, he learned he can be more efficient by moving eight things about an inch at a time.

While that worked great for Henry Ford, it does not work so well for guy who has to eat said burrito.

I would say the burrito maker could be a genius in the wrong line of work.
2013-09-09 06:23:49 PM  
2 votes:

Krieghund: The blogger's mistake is thinking the guy that made his burrito cares.


Also, he forgot the golden rule of humor... being that if you have to tell people that your post is meant in humor, it really isn't funny.
2013-09-09 06:19:16 PM  
2 votes:
The blogger's mistake is thinking the guy that made his burrito cares.
2013-09-09 06:09:00 PM  
2 votes:
2013-09-09 06:06:46 PM  
2 votes:
What no Chipotle burrito ever has looked like:

abcnews.go.com

/First world problems, but I feel his "pain"
2013-09-09 06:04:29 PM  
2 votes:

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.
2013-09-09 06:02:30 PM  
2 votes:
Two words: burrito bowl.
2013-09-09 06:02:01 PM  
2 votes:
If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.
2013-09-09 05:56:16 PM  
2 votes:
Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-09-09 04:41:49 PM  
2 votes:
vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!
2013-09-09 04:21:22 PM  
2 votes:
Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.
2013-09-09 03:48:45 PM  
2 votes:
first world problems
2013-09-10 10:30:06 AM  
1 votes:
Hey everyone!

Just thought I'd stop by and answer some of the speculation. Here goes:

I am super fat.

Like morbidly.

Like on a scooter fat.

Also: That headline attached to this isn't mine. I said nothing about labor laws or wages or any of that nonsense.

What I did was tried to write something funny. Not as a commentary on anything other than that disgusting bite of sour cream you all take every now and then. It's open for debate whether or not I succeeded in being funny, but let me save you the trouble:

67 percent of redditors liked it.

So it's a D+.

Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and you had to suffer through my "Is this joke even going to graduate?" writing.

But I'm willing to work at it, so how about any of you who feel so strongly about how much I suck at this go grab the funniest thing you have ever written or done, and we'll stack it against this horrible joke anywhere you want online and see which does better.

Let's all get better together.
2013-09-10 01:03:39 AM  
1 votes:

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


expect to get fired at the first excuse and replaced with someone with pride, who is willing to do the job and get a raise.
2013-09-09 07:52:00 PM  
1 votes:
Minimum wage is for workers to show up and do the minimum amount of work.  Just enough to qualify to get paid.  In return, the employer pays that worker the minimum they are legally allowed to pay.That is the social contract of these things.

If you expect more than the minimum from a minimum wage worker, you are the problem, not the minimum wage worker.  If you want that minimum wage worker to give you 110%! or some crap your dad told you about over and over when you were little, you need to spend time pondering the nature of minimum wage work.  Mostly being that high levels of motivation, pride, and dedication are, at best, at odds with the very idea of minimum wage work.  At worst, I suppose that it is some cruelty to expect anyone to provide more than the minimum effort for a minimum wage.
2013-09-09 07:29:46 PM  
1 votes:

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


In my neck of the woods, halfway down our body is how we wear our pants. God help me if I ever see anyone wearing them 100% up or down their body.
2013-09-09 07:18:19 PM  
1 votes:
I'm sorry Fast Food workers, but those jobs are there for high school aged kids, not careers.  If you can't live the good life cause they only pay you minimum wage, read a got damn book and learn to do something got damn else.
2013-09-09 07:08:46 PM  
1 votes:
Anyone posted this gem yet?

i.imgur.com
2013-09-09 07:08:25 PM  
1 votes:

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


I don't mean to burst your bubble, but if you live in a place that has "real Mexicans", they're most likely cooking the Chinese food in those Chinese restaurants that employ real Chinese waiters and hosts. That's not a criticism, either, just some insider knowledge for you.
2013-09-09 07:05:51 PM  
1 votes:
Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.
2013-09-09 06:43:31 PM  
1 votes:

Phony_Soldier: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

Maybe he was just trying to be funny, and really isn't that angry about his burrito.


He should have tried harder. On second thought, it read like he was trying way too hard.
2013-09-09 06:37:32 PM  
1 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2


Never been to that place, but you know what a burrito is supposed to be. Rice and beans simply doesn't belong. Serve that shiat on the side, if you must, but I'd rather have chips and salsa.
2013-09-09 06:32:48 PM  
1 votes:
Chipotle is the first thing I thought of when looking at that picture.

/it has to be
2013-09-09 06:27:38 PM  
1 votes:

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Those are tacos.

THIS is a burrito.

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com

Manuel's Special. Feeds 4-5 people, or one really starving person.

http://manuelseltepeyac.com/
2013-09-09 06:22:52 PM  
1 votes:
Meanwhile on reddit some retard posts about the amazing epic random awkward burrito he made at work for some old guy.
2013-09-09 06:21:04 PM  
1 votes:

jayfurr: As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.


I laughed several time. The mental image of a person trying to bite down on a burrito lengthwise and the gut-shot burrito comment especially made me laugh. And while we're on the subject of poorly made Tex-mex: the hard taco is a failure of engineering. Soft tacos are great, but hard tacos are bullshiat. I have only one option when eating a hard taco; tilt my head to 90 degrees and hope for the best. fark all the noise, I don't eat like a nursing calf.
2013-09-09 06:17:07 PM  
1 votes:
If you're from California, try this place: "_____berto's"
2013-09-09 06:15:56 PM  
1 votes:

Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.


Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.
2013-09-09 06:13:08 PM  
1 votes:

billybobtoo: Been to highly praised Mexican joint in NYC


Well, buddy, I've had "New York style" pizza from a highly praised pizza place here in Texas. You think I got anything resembling a real New York pizza? Hell, no. You're too far from the source.
2013-09-09 06:11:08 PM  
1 votes:
A coworker was dying to share this with me last week. I got about halfway through before I stopped reading. Using fark for every other word and capitalizing more often than not is a real turnoff, and I just couldn't muster a bit of sympathy over a silly burrito.

But this is why we'll always have bloggers: self importance and narcissism inflates the seriousness of mundane things and the criticality to get the word out about it. I guess there's an element of being a victim in this case as well.
2013-09-09 06:07:23 PM  
1 votes:
Does Maddox have an angry cousin he's never mentioned?
2013-09-09 06:05:00 PM  
1 votes:
Entitlement guy sounds fat.
2013-09-09 06:04:41 PM  
1 votes:
Right, the burrito jockey must be an idiot.  It isn't possible that a low paid employee working a tedious and mind numbing job just plain doesn't give a shiat.   Never worked retail or food service?  Punch in the face.  Have worked there but now that you don't anymore, act like you never did?  Much harder punch in the face.
2013-09-09 06:04:32 PM  
1 votes:

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


* it is now.
2013-09-09 06:04:05 PM  
1 votes:

Dr Dreidel: vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.

If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?


You should add "All food service workers who are not master chefs at their own Michelin 4-star restaurants* should be ashamed of what they do for a living, and should consider themselves lucky that I only stiffed them on the tip, and not set them on fire while they sleep!"

*I know Michelin stars only go up to three, that's the joke.
2013-09-09 06:03:54 PM  
1 votes:
Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?
2013-09-09 06:03:06 PM  
1 votes:
Maddox has a new page?
2013-09-09 06:02:04 PM  
1 votes:
Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word
2013-09-09 06:01:58 PM  
1 votes:

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


That's what you get for going to Arby's.  "Roast beef" with the flavor and consistency of a wet paper bag.
2013-09-09 05:59:47 PM  
1 votes:

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


Dude you went to Arby's, it is always like that.

If you go out for food you get what you get, maybe not what you deserve, but as I've been assured in many a tipping thread, it is a food workers sacred right to fark up your food. Just be glad he did not piss, shiat, or jack off into it.
2013-09-09 05:58:52 PM  
1 votes:
I haven't been to Taco Bell since my 15 year old daughter started working there a few weeks ago. That's the way it's gonna stay.
2013-09-09 05:58:50 PM  
1 votes:
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
2013-09-09 05:57:51 PM  
1 votes:

vpb: vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!


This is quite possibly the best idea I've heard all day.

/cripes today was/is boring.
2013-09-09 05:57:07 PM  
1 votes:
I'm feelin' his pain.
i39.tinypic.com
2013-09-09 05:25:59 PM  
1 votes:

violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.


That's what you get for going to Taco Hell.
2013-09-09 05:09:09 PM  
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.


I haven't been to Freebird's in far too long.
2013-09-09 04:09:42 PM  
1 votes:

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!
 
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