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(Medium)   "Dear guy who just made my burrito, this is why we'll always have minimum wage jobs"   (medium.com) divider line 335
    More: Fail, minimum wages  
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34356 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:49 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



335 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-09 03:29:21 PM
As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.
 
2013-09-09 03:31:29 PM
Apparently not a fan of the traditional 9 layer dip burrito
 
2013-09-09 03:40:41 PM
If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.
 
2013-09-09 03:41:49 PM
Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.
 
2013-09-09 03:48:31 PM
Crazy and off meds is no waY TO GET THROUGH LIFE OR COMEDY.
 
2013-09-09 03:48:45 PM
first world problems
 
2013-09-09 03:54:55 PM
this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.
 
2013-09-09 03:58:16 PM
I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.
 
2013-09-09 04:02:26 PM

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.
 
2013-09-09 04:09:31 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?
 
2013-09-09 04:09:42 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!
 
2013-09-09 04:21:22 PM
Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.
 
2013-09-09 04:38:21 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-09-09 04:41:49 PM
vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!
 
2013-09-09 04:51:16 PM
Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.
 
2013-09-09 05:09:09 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.


I haven't been to Freebird's in far too long.
 
2013-09-09 05:12:24 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


Well then....
 
2013-09-09 05:25:59 PM

violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.


That's what you get for going to Taco Hell.
 
2013-09-09 05:53:20 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


Yup. You get what you pay for.  I'd happily pay an extra 50 cents to get it rolled right.

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Maybe, but I would wager people in the third world also prefer their food properly prepared, and complain about it accordingly.
 
2013-09-09 05:53:47 PM
Dude..get perspective.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids by twerking on MTV.  Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....
 
2013-09-09 05:53:48 PM
Some mornings when I wake up, my MS sucks, and I can't stand because my legs just spazz wildly and I fall down. My apartment is not even remotely handicap accessible, and I can't afford ones that are, so that means I end up eating candy/whatever is within reach of my bedroom, crawling to the bathroom when I can't hold my crutches, and generally wasting a day in bed. To me, that seems like something worthy of getting mad about...

This guys inability to open the burrito, mix up the ingredients, then re-close it successfully, a task I've witnessed my 4 year old nephew perform, is not something he should be mad at other people about.
 
2013-09-09 05:54:21 PM
Sounds like the kind of thing that I'd compose, in my head, while eating said burrito, consider positing to Facebook, decide life is too short to bother and just crap the thing out a few hours later.
 
2013-09-09 05:55:21 PM
I have never seen a burrito made like this, ever.
/saw this on reddit, still read it again.
//not really that satirical. ..
 
2013-09-09 05:55:32 PM

JohnCarter: Dude..get perspective.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids firefly by twerking on MTV.  Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....


Seriously, I saw that shiat a week later on the news... I feel traumatized.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:16 PM
Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:20 PM
ITT: People I can easily identify that did not read the article to the end.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:37 PM
That was actually sort of funny.

That was definetly intentional - I would think that would take more effort to prepare and wrap a burrito like that.
 
2013-09-09 05:57:07 PM
I'm feelin' his pain.
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-09 05:57:51 PM

vpb: vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!


This is quite possibly the best idea I've heard all day.

/cripes today was/is boring.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:45 PM
I chuckled a few times. Good rant.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:50 PM
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:52 PM
I haven't been to Taco Bell since my 15 year old daughter started working there a few weeks ago. That's the way it's gonna stay.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:14 PM
Sour cream ratio is to high.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:22 PM
Dear blogger,

Your blog sucks.

You should never be allowed to call yourself a 'writer' ever again.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:29 PM
I'm pretty sure this guy's penchants for going off on rants about tiny things contributed to his terrible burrito experience. People who make minimum wage are capable of remembering the problem customers from one visit to another. Barely, but they are.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:47 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


Dude you went to Arby's, it is always like that.

If you go out for food you get what you get, maybe not what you deserve, but as I've been assured in many a tipping thread, it is a food workers sacred right to fark up your food. Just be glad he did not piss, shiat, or jack off into it.
 
2013-09-09 06:00:21 PM
LOL, i especially liked the lifesavers comment.

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.
but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

nope, don't see me doing that.
 
2013-09-09 06:01:58 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


That's what you get for going to Arby's.  "Roast beef" with the flavor and consistency of a wet paper bag.
 
2013-09-09 06:02:01 PM
If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.
 
2013-09-09 06:02:04 PM
Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word
 
2013-09-09 06:02:30 PM
Two words: burrito bowl.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:06 PM
Maddox has a new page?
 
2013-09-09 06:03:07 PM
So instead of bringing this to the manager's attention so that the behavior can either be corrected or the burrito maker replaced, you blog about it? I'm more pissed at the people who just let the bad behavior continue.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:41 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


It failed.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:54 PM
Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?
 
2013-09-09 06:04:05 PM

Dr Dreidel: vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.

If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?


You should add "All food service workers who are not master chefs at their own Michelin 4-star restaurants* should be ashamed of what they do for a living, and should consider themselves lucky that I only stiffed them on the tip, and not set them on fire while they sleep!"

*I know Michelin stars only go up to three, that's the joke.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:10 PM
Dear Author - Your website is disabling the use of my "Back" button. You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this browserbomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:29 PM

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:32 PM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


* it is now.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:41 PM
Right, the burrito jockey must be an idiot.  It isn't possible that a low paid employee working a tedious and mind numbing job just plain doesn't give a shiat.   Never worked retail or food service?  Punch in the face.  Have worked there but now that you don't anymore, act like you never did?  Much harder punch in the face.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:56 PM

Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?


Yes, except it was bullshiat and a cop out to avoid having to deal with any conflict from the post
 
2013-09-09 06:05:00 PM
Entitlement guy sounds fat.
 
2013-09-09 06:05:39 PM
Did he ever consider that he was such an asshole it was done to him on purpose?
 
2013-09-09 06:05:40 PM
Too many f-bombs.  I'm no prude and can swear up a storm with the best of them and love my f word. But instead of having a little fun with this rant, he turns it into an obnoxious string of "F this, that and the other."
 
2013-09-09 06:05:42 PM

Fart_Machine: Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


Yeah, I also saw the disclaimer. However, having been one to write rants like these (in private emails, mind, you) it's clear that his experience was real so he's writing from fact rather than just making stuff up. I thought it was pretty funny, mind you, but the disclaimer wants me to say tpo the guy hey, you can't have your farkin' burrito and eat it, too. You were angry. Just let it out, man!
 
2013-09-09 06:06:02 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


Arby's is EASILY the most egregious violator in the way their product looks in advertisements vs. reality.

Big Beef and Cheddar looks like it stands about 7" tall smothered in a cheesy waterfall...

The reality is one squirt of cheese off center and already soaked in to the bread while the rest of the sandwich is flat enough to slide under a closed door.
 
2013-09-09 06:06:44 PM

NutWrench: I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.

 
2013-09-09 06:06:46 PM
What no Chipotle burrito ever has looked like:

abcnews.go.com

/First world problems, but I feel his "pain"
 
2013-09-09 06:07:11 PM

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.
 
2013-09-09 06:07:14 PM
And remember when eating a taco you tilt your head not the taco.
 
2013-09-09 06:07:23 PM
Does Maddox have an angry cousin he's never mentioned?
 
2013-09-09 06:08:36 PM

2BuckChuck: What no Chipotle burrito ever has looked like:

[abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

/First world problems, but I feel his "pain"


They make it in front of you so there really is no excuse.
 
2013-09-09 06:08:53 PM
I found it amusing. I agree that the ideal burrito has the ingredients evenly distributed; but there was a teenage ahead of me in line at Chipotle the other day who specifically asked that the ingredients be mixed and I couldn't help but think he was a spoiled little d-bag/diva. Man up. Sometimes life gives you a mouthful of something that would be delicious if it were eaten in a smaller proportion along with something else. Just try to hang on for the ride. Also, if you want everything cheap, fresh, delicious, and instantly, something has got to suffer. Things made on assemply lines don't get the same attention to detail you'd expect from an artisan.
 
2013-09-09 06:09:00 PM
 
2013-09-09 06:09:13 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


That is one horrid looking vagina....
 
2013-09-09 06:09:26 PM
They just opened a new burrito joint near my apartment. I was pretty excited, but all the guys working there are Filipino.

I love Filipinos. Seriously. But their burrito skills are sub par.
 
2013-09-09 06:09:31 PM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


Top stoner scientists are working on it night and day.
 
2013-09-09 06:09:40 PM

Chariset: cameroncrazy1984: Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.

I haven't been to Freebird's in far too long.


I used to go regularly when I was at Texas A&M, but not since.  They finally built one here early this year, and after driving past a couple of times and going elsewhere because of the crowds, I finally went one day and looked at the menu.  Everything cost so much more than I remembered; it was going to be at least 10 bucks for just me.  Nostalgia lost out.

I went to the mom and pop chinese place instead.
 
2013-09-09 06:09:48 PM
Anybody who eats a burrito, deserves what he gets. Third world foods just don't work for me. And I've tried. Been to highly praised Mexican joint in NYC and it was like, no, this isn't working for me. Give me a good old cheeseburger and fries, thanks.
 
2013-09-09 06:10:08 PM
Silly rant or not, the author got what they wanted : blog traffic...
 
2013-09-09 06:10:58 PM
So it has been 20 plus years since I have worked in fast food but when I did, I had no choice in how the food was made, you put a certain amount of pickles on, you put a certain amount ketchup on and in a certain way, onions were cut a certain way and in a certain thickness, this idiot blogger gives the fast food worker too much credit. He assumes the guy is doing it on purpose. More than likely the fast food worker is doing it because that is the way he is told to make a burrito. When I worked in fast food, I was in high school. I didn't want to think after school, I wanted a paycheck.
 
2013-09-09 06:11:08 PM
A coworker was dying to share this with me last week. I got about halfway through before I stopped reading. Using fark for every other word and capitalizing more often than not is a real turnoff, and I just couldn't muster a bit of sympathy over a silly burrito.

But this is why we'll always have bloggers: self importance and narcissism inflates the seriousness of mundane things and the criticality to get the word out about it. I guess there's an element of being a victim in this case as well.
 
2013-09-09 06:11:57 PM

Smackledorfer: vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.

Yup. You get what you pay for.  I'd happily pay an extra 50 cents to get it rolled right.

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Maybe, but I would wager people in the third world also prefer their food properly prepared, and complain about it accordingly.





Yes you do get what you pay for. Kids up here get $10.25 an hour minimum (plus tips) wage. I feel somewhat justified in complaining. If the person making my food was paid less I'd probably keep my trap shut.
 
2013-09-09 06:12:36 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


Maybe he was just trying to be funny, and really isn't that angry about his burrito.
 
2013-09-09 06:13:08 PM

billybobtoo: Been to highly praised Mexican joint in NYC


Well, buddy, I've had "New York style" pizza from a highly praised pizza place here in Texas. You think I got anything resembling a real New York pizza? Hell, no. You're too far from the source.
 
2013-09-09 06:13:26 PM

KresentPhresh: button


Actually it opens in a new window, so the back button is moot by default.
 
2013-09-09 06:13:45 PM

redsquid: xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word

Top stoner scientists are working on it night and day.


Reading through that again, it really does look like a stoner wrote it.
 
2013-09-09 06:13:50 PM
Funny. Not real. But funny.
 
2013-09-09 06:13:53 PM

KresentPhresh: I hope your babies look like monkeys.


occupationoforegon.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-09 06:14:23 PM

ThatDarkFellow: Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?

Yes, except it was bullshiat and a cop out to avoid having to deal with any conflict from the post


Meh, it read to me like the guy was pulling a shtick.
 
2013-09-09 06:14:31 PM
I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2
 
2013-09-09 06:14:36 PM

The Briny Derp: Sour cream ratio is to high people as bond yield ratio is to investors.

 
2013-09-09 06:14:55 PM

uncleacid: And remember when eating a taco you tilt your head not the taco.


Truer words could not be spoken.
 
2013-09-09 06:15:00 PM

redsquid: xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word

Top stoner scientists are working on it night and day.


I know! They could use a tortilla!
 
2013-09-09 06:15:50 PM
Protip:  swearing doesn't actually make you funny.
 
2013-09-09 06:15:56 PM

Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.


Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.
 
2013-09-09 06:16:02 PM
mock anger is no substitute for real anger.
 
2013-09-09 06:16:38 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2


The place is so farking good it has 3 stores on one farking block
 
2013-09-09 06:17:06 PM
Burritos are cheap and easy to make.  Which is why Senor Douchebag is going to a fast food joint for one.
 
2013-09-09 06:17:07 PM
If you're from California, try this place: "_____berto's"
 
2013-09-09 06:17:44 PM
did all of you miss the disclaimer at the bottom that this is a joke?
 
2013-09-09 06:17:59 PM
The McDonalds close to my house is always a crapshoot.
 
2013-09-09 06:18:08 PM

Fart_Machine: ThatDarkFellow: Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?

Yes, except it was bullshiat and a cop out to avoid having to deal with any conflict from the post

Meh, it read to me like the guy was pulling a shtick.


Then the guy is somehow worse than the writers at Kotaku
 
2013-09-09 06:18:17 PM
So, yeah. This was either borrowed or outright stolen.

http://veryjosie.blogspot.com/2012/10/worst-burrito-ever.html

Note the date. And it pops up elsewhere all over the interwebs.
 
2013-09-09 06:18:17 PM
I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
sustainabledad.com
 
2013-09-09 06:18:45 PM
Wow, what a prick.  A prick that eats dongs and drinks pure ejaculate from the rarest of cows hand-fed by organically grown indigenous virgins.
 
2013-09-09 06:19:00 PM
Lulz copy pasta...

Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
Further ReadingHow to control your anger-
Anger and your health Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But managing anger can be a problem for many people who find it difficult to ke...
 
2013-09-09 06:19:16 PM
The blogger's mistake is thinking the guy that made his burrito cares.
 
2013-09-09 06:20:25 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Holy balls that looks awesome!
 
2013-09-09 06:21:04 PM

jayfurr: As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.


I laughed several time. The mental image of a person trying to bite down on a burrito lengthwise and the gut-shot burrito comment especially made me laugh. And while we're on the subject of poorly made Tex-mex: the hard taco is a failure of engineering. Soft tacos are great, but hard tacos are bullshiat. I have only one option when eating a hard taco; tilt my head to 90 degrees and hope for the best. fark all the noise, I don't eat like a nursing calf.
 
2013-09-09 06:21:10 PM
You know what else curdles my turds, Mexican roofers that loudly hammer all day and speak in that disgusting dialect.
 
2013-09-09 06:21:16 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2


I haven't been to Chicago in forever, but I miss El Famous Burrito. It's like a giant football stuffed with meat.
 
2013-09-09 06:21:41 PM
I got to the burrito/pack of Lifesavers comparison and just about lost it ;)
 
2013-09-09 06:21:54 PM
What a douche. The article writer. Not the burrito guy.
 
2013-09-09 06:22:31 PM

gadian: Wow, what a prick.  A prick that eats dongs and drinks pure ejaculate from the rarest of cows hand-fed by organically grown indigenous virgins.


And that's why you're green
 
2013-09-09 06:22:52 PM
Meanwhile on reddit some retard posts about the amazing epic random awkward burrito he made at work for some old guy.
 
2013-09-09 06:22:53 PM

big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.


There's the answer we are looking for.
 
2013-09-09 06:23:49 PM

Krieghund: The blogger's mistake is thinking the guy that made his burrito cares.


Also, he forgot the golden rule of humor... being that if you have to tell people that your post is meant in humor, it really isn't funny.
 
2013-09-09 06:24:07 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


You're boring.
 
2013-09-09 06:24:41 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


Coyotes leave scat that looks a lot like that ...
 
2013-09-09 06:25:27 PM

2BuckChuck: What no Chipotle burrito ever has looked like:

[abcnews.go.com image 478x269]

/First world problems, but I feel his "pain"


Not sure what crackhole chipotle you go to, but mine pretty much always looks almost just like that.
 
2013-09-09 06:25:38 PM

ThatDarkFellow: El Famous Burrito


Thanks. I am going to try the one in Elmhurst this weekend
 
2013-09-09 06:26:02 PM
images.thehollywoodgossip.com
I'm not sure, so she didn't like the burrito. TFA wasn't very clear.
 
2013-09-09 06:27:38 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Those are tacos.

THIS is a burrito.

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com

Manuel's Special. Feeds 4-5 people, or one really starving person.

http://manuelseltepeyac.com/
 
2013-09-09 06:28:12 PM

Somaticasual: KresentPhresh: button

Actually it opens in a new window, so the back button is moot by default.


Oh... I stand corrected.
 
2013-09-09 06:28:40 PM

Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?


It was obvious right from the beginning that he was trying to be funny -- trying really, really hard, and when it wasn't quite working, trying even harder.
 
2013-09-09 06:29:07 PM
This why I only get my tacos/burrotos from this little kotchen at the back of a Mexican grocery. The tortillas are made fresh onsite. The veggies are grown in a garden out back and the meat comes from beef or chicken that is farm raised and slaughtered daily on site. The things are assembled by little old Mexican ladies who don't speak English.. You have to order in Spanish or you're out of luck.

Id tell you where it is but its hard to find because it doesn't have a sign out front. You really have to hunt for it. Best Mexican food EVAR.
 
2013-09-09 06:29:30 PM
While the writer has a point, he is mistaken the burrito guy is working for him.   Burrito wrapper guy is working for Burrito Corp Limited.

Burrito Corp Limited probably wants Burrito Wrapper guy to make a single burrito in X time so X burritos in one day can be made.

In an attempt to be more efficient at his job, burrito wrapper guy learned that instead of moving eight things eight inches, he learned he can be more efficient by moving eight things about an inch at a time.

While that worked great for Henry Ford, it does not work so well for guy who has to eat said burrito.

I would say the burrito maker could be a genius in the wrong line of work.
 
2013-09-09 06:29:46 PM
I considered that rather funny, and consider those who didn't both stupid and tasteless.

/because I'm an asshole
 
2013-09-09 06:30:00 PM

Lorelle: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]

Those are tacos.

THIS is a burrito.

[s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com image 500x375]

Manuel's Special. Feeds 4-5 people, or one really starving person.

http://manuelseltepeyac.com/


For a second, I was happy to see that place is in California. Then I noticed the look on his face when he had his arm around the young boy.
 
2013-09-09 06:30:18 PM
 
2013-09-09 06:30:44 PM

Super Chronic: Fart_Machine: Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?

It was obvious right from the beginning that he was trying to be funny -- trying really, really hard, and when it wasn't quite working, trying even harder.


But you know what truly is funny?  Discussing burritos with Fart_Machine.
 
2013-09-09 06:32:03 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


That looks amazing.
 
2013-09-09 06:32:06 PM

NorCalLos: For a second, I was happy to see that place is in California. Then I noticed the look on his face when he had his arm around the young boy.


That's a woman, not a boy!
 
2013-09-09 06:32:48 PM
Chipotle is the first thing I thought of when looking at that picture.

/it has to be
 
2013-09-09 06:32:49 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


yet here you are
 
2013-09-09 06:33:39 PM
We need robots to make burritos.
 
2013-09-09 06:36:24 PM

ArcadianRefugee: TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.

It failed.


I found it pretty funny, Eeyore.
 
2013-09-09 06:36:36 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


See, this is why, for everything else shiatty about them, Subway and Chipotle are still frequented: Because you can see your sandwich and burrito made right in front of you, rather than behind some fast food wall of silence.
 
2013-09-09 06:37:32 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2


Never been to that place, but you know what a burrito is supposed to be. Rice and beans simply doesn't belong. Serve that shiat on the side, if you must, but I'd rather have chips and salsa.
 
2013-09-09 06:37:34 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


Then why not just hand the customers the ingredients? Why bother to assemble it at all if you don't have to bother doing it right?

While we're on the subject, fark the retarded fast food workers who squash the assembled burger. I know you like your buns packed, that doesn't mean everyone else does.
 
2013-09-09 06:37:43 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.


Your DMV sucks, then. It's had lines from time to time, but I've always had helpful and nice people at the DMV for me, just redid registrations on two cars and we chatted and joked the whole time.
 
2013-09-09 06:38:28 PM
Can anyone explain what the purpose of an SSL certificate on that site would be?

Its not like you're passing any info back and forth that requires encryption...
 
2013-09-09 06:39:12 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.



I'll go with get off your ass and make your own burritos, whiny birch.
 
2013-09-09 06:39:47 PM
Okay I know one of you farkers ate a tongue or brain burrito. How does each one taste?
 
2013-09-09 06:39:49 PM
Dear guy ranting,

Your blog sucks.
 
2013-09-09 06:40:59 PM

Lorelle: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]

Those are tacos.

THIS is a burrito.

[s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com image 500x375]

Manuel's Special. Feeds 4-5 people, or one really starving person American.

http://manuelseltepeyac.com/



FIFY
 
2013-09-09 06:41:29 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Those are tacos, ese.
 
2013-09-09 06:41:46 PM
...How the hell do you  do that? I mean, really. That's, like, 'I did this shiat on purpose, look on in awe' levels of farking up burritos.
 
2013-09-09 06:42:39 PM

nytmare: I know you like your buns packed,


i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-09 06:43:15 PM

Pitabred: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

Your DMV sucks, then. It's had lines from time to time, but I've always had helpful and nice people at the DMV for me, just redid registrations on two cars and we chatted and joked the whole time.


Ahhh... You're the reason it took so long for everyone else.
 
2013-09-09 06:43:31 PM

Phony_Soldier: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

Maybe he was just trying to be funny, and really isn't that angry about his burrito.


He should have tried harder. On second thought, it read like he was trying way too hard.
 
2013-09-09 06:43:45 PM
Suck it up, Nancy.

/what's the mexican comparative name to nancy, anyhow?
 
2013-09-09 06:44:15 PM
 The headline says "this is why there will always be minimum wage" but the article sounds more like "This is why I'm an arrogant self important douche bag with some deep psychological issues regarding food preparation." Seriously get over yourself. Aannd maybe watch out for any extra layers in that next burrito as the food service industry has a very fast karma turnaround.
 
2013-09-09 06:44:47 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.


I know, right? Sadly, I am having a Publix sub for dinner.

Well... not TOO sad, since they make damn good steak and cheese subs.
 
2013-09-09 06:44:49 PM

Five Tails of Fury: Suck it up, Nancy.

/what's the mexican comparative name to nancy, anyhow?


Chata
 
2013-09-09 06:44:54 PM

Pitabred: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

Your DMV sucks, then. It's had lines from time to time, but I've always had helpful and nice people at the DMV for me, just redid registrations on two cars and we chatted and joked the whole time.


Possibly. I had to renew my license the other day and it took about two hours, and the guy acted like he was doing me a giant favor and I was keeping him from his important "walking around talking to people" duties. Add to that the bus-station waiting room, and it was not the best time I've ever had, even limited to government offices.
 
2013-09-09 06:45:05 PM

xalres: redsquid: xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word

Top stoner scientists are working on it night and day.

Reading through that again, it really does look like a stoner wrote it.


Yep, you're right about that.  It reminds me when back at UF a friend and I were in "deep discussion" as to what it would be like to have an exoskeleton.

Ahhh....the good old days of unbridled wonderment and access to the best smoke available (at the time---this was waaaay before hydroponics and such).
 
2013-09-09 06:45:09 PM

leonel: Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.


No, he's entitled to minimum wage so long as he does his job correctly.

People are acting like they're entitled to something no matter how useless of a human being they are.
 
2013-09-09 06:46:18 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


I can still hear it barking.
 
2013-09-09 06:46:55 PM

Whitey Bear: Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.


Except this is supposed to be a humor piece. (read the last line of the article)  I have yet to ever come a cross a burrito that matches to spec in the rant.  And, considering how burritos are usually made, it would require that the person making the burrito to be intentionally trying to screw with him.
 
2013-09-09 06:46:58 PM

redTiburon: meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.

yet here you are


I can't actually do anything about either situation, this guy's Poe's Law like parody of complaints or the Syria thing.

I am however amused at myself for falling for this (I didn't read to the bottom), and the response he is getting from others.

//Not so highly amused with the Syria thing.....
 
2013-09-09 06:47:54 PM

Five Tails of Fury: Suck it up, Nancy.

/what's the mexican comparative name to nancy, anyhow?


Nancia?
La Nancy?

I think it's one of those, but I'm not sure.

/Guadalupe?
 
2013-09-09 06:48:29 PM
Lots of work for no payoff.
 
2013-09-09 06:49:54 PM

Anayalator: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]

Those are tacos, ese.


Yeah, that's why I used the term open faced burrito.

[that'sthe joke.jpg]
 
2013-09-09 06:50:58 PM
All Internet comical-rant writing sounds the same.
 
2013-09-09 06:52:22 PM
"HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE."

Should we leave you two alone? Might need some bean-o.
 
2013-09-09 06:52:41 PM
See this is why I don't care for hard shell tacos.  You get one good bite from the end that has lettuce, tomato, meat and cheese.  Then the whole middle of the thing is either lettuce, cheese and tomato or meat filling.

No way my mouth is big enough to have it all at once.
 
2013-09-09 06:53:38 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.


Those are tacos. I've got a taco truck that serves these tacos. The only person who speaks english in this thing is the 10 year old boy.

i.imgur.com

$1.50 per taco. I like the steak ones personally. Tortillas are fresh made in the truck.

La Haciendita its so obscure it doesn't even have a website.
 
2013-09-09 06:54:44 PM
I found a picture of the author.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-09 06:54:48 PM

assjuice: Meanwhile on reddit some retard posts about the amazing epic random awkward burrito he made at work for some old guy.


Dude, you're on Fark. We're all retards, just different flavors.
 
2013-09-09 07:01:33 PM
The rant is valid, but it's a lousy rant. This guy writes like a first-year journalism student given his big chance to pen his first column for the student newspaper. Too many different ways to say the same thing, so instead of choosing, he just threw them all in there.

/I remember editing those
//Yeah, and writing them
 
2013-09-09 07:01:52 PM
ITT: Proof that
 
2013-09-09 07:02:04 PM

Igor Jakovsky: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.

Those are tacos. I've got a taco truck that serves these tacos. The only person who speaks english in this thing is the 10 year old boy.

[i.imgur.com image 300x225]

$1.50 per taco. I like the steak ones personally. Tortillas are fresh made in the truck.

La Haciendita its so obscure it doesn't even have a website.


Those are tacos? 52 years living amongst the culture that cooks and sells the hell out of those things and they've been lying to me all this time!
 
2013-09-09 07:02:27 PM
Make a burrito yourself, you fat fark.
 
2013-09-09 07:02:29 PM
dude is like Dane Cook.  figures if he says "f*ck" enough times people will think its funny.  and if you'd go to a legitimate taco stand and have a real Mexican make your burrito you wouldn't have that problem anyway.
 
2013-09-09 07:02:50 PM

MrEricSir: ITT: Proof that


fark. Let's try again.

ITT: Proof that < 10% of Farkers actually read the article they comment on.
 
2013-09-09 07:03:52 PM

Justice By Zig: leonel: Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.

No, he's entitled to minimum wage so long as he does his job correctly.

People are acting like they're entitled to something no matter how useless of a human being they are.


And it is the manager's job to find people who will do the job correctly.  If all of those people set the wage price higher than minimum wage, the manager will have to pay higher than minimum wage.  Everyone needs to do their job correctly.
 
2013-09-09 07:04:21 PM

Isitoveryet: LOL, i especially liked the lifesavers comment.

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.
but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

nope, don't see me doing that.



Actually, you did that on Tuesday
 
2013-09-09 07:05:51 PM
Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.
 
2013-09-09 07:07:47 PM

ThatDarkFellow: drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2

I haven't been to Chicago in forever, but I miss El Famous Burrito. It's like a giant football stuffed with meat.


Wife just called, she's going home with a migraine.  I'm on my own for dinner, and you just answered the question of "What to have?"

Mmmmmm...meat stuffed football...
 
2013-09-09 07:08:25 PM

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


I don't mean to burst your bubble, but if you live in a place that has "real Mexicans", they're most likely cooking the Chinese food in those Chinese restaurants that employ real Chinese waiters and hosts. That's not a criticism, either, just some insider knowledge for you.
 
2013-09-09 07:08:26 PM
Sounds like Johnny McMinimumwage needs a layer of bootstraps inside that tortilla.
 
2013-09-09 07:08:46 PM
Anyone posted this gem yet?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-09 07:09:32 PM

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


Around our neck of the woods, when you want to get the best Sushi you actually look for the place with Mexicans making the Sushi.  Couldn't tell you why, but for some reason Mexicans (in this area anyway) make the best Sushi chefs.

/My girlfriend at the time suggested it was the black hair.
//So far the rule works
///Last time I had sushi made by a blond-haired dude it was awful
 
2013-09-09 07:09:54 PM

Fizpez: zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]

Arby's is EASILY the most egregious violator in the way their product looks in advertisements vs. reality.

Big Beef and Cheddar looks like it stands about 7" tall smothered in a cheesy waterfall...

The reality is one squirt of cheese off center and already soaked in to the bread while the rest of the sandwich is flat enough to slide under a closed door.


There's tough competition, but we have a winner...

branthansen.typepad.combranthansen.typepad.com
 
2013-09-09 07:09:58 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


I suppose the hot dog guy wants more than a shilling on Xmas.
 
2013-09-09 07:10:29 PM
Just another entitled, whining, fat-fark.  He went into a cheap-ass fast food place and then was disappointed that his food wasn't prepared by a classically trained french chef.  Actually, I'll bet that burrito was made the way it was deliberately after this ass took an attitude.
 
2013-09-09 07:11:01 PM

mooseyfate: jayfurr: As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.

I laughed several time. The mental image of a person trying to bite down on a burrito lengthwise and the gut-shot burrito comment especially made me laugh. And while we're on the subject of poorly made Tex-mex: the hard taco is a failure of engineering. Soft tacos are great, but hard tacos are bullshiat. I have only one option when eating a hard taco; tilt my head to 90 degrees and hope for the best. fark all the noise, I don't eat like a nursing calf.


Lol
 
2013-09-09 07:11:04 PM
Life is unfair, deal with it.
 
2013-09-09 07:13:06 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2

The place is so farking good it has 3 stores on one farking block


I used to live around the corner, tacos or pizza metro were my go to for dinner.
/not fat
//miss that apartment
 
2013-09-09 07:14:39 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.


Bureaucracy is it's own special universe.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:44 PM
I may have missed it in between the 200 f-bombs but I see nothing in there pertaining to minimum wage.

But regardless that was terribly unfunny and the girl who wrote it should be embarrassed. If it was a guy then he should be twice as embarrassed.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:52 PM

biorhythmist: The entire farking thing is a parody of complaining culture and the tired first world problem genre.


His humor skills are so not up to par that he fell straight into the Poe's Law trap. He didn't even parody, he just emulated. Given that everyone took his rant for serious-but-attempted-witty instead of parody, he should have admitted his utter fail.

Preferably on Fmylife.com.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:05 PM

Igor Jakovsky: This why I only get my tacos/burrotos from this little kotchen at the back of a Mexican grocery. The tortillas are made fresh onsite. The veggies are grown in a garden out back and the meat comes from beef or chicken that is farm raised and slaughtered daily on site. The things are assembled by little old Mexican ladies who don't speak English.. You have to order in Spanish or you're out of luck.

Id tell you where it is but its hard to find because it doesn't have a sign out front. You really have to hunt for it. Best Mexican food EVAR.


Also, once you find the place, a little chime plays. You get to keep the bottle the burrito comes in, to put Poes, or insects, or medicine, or whathhaveyou in.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:19 PM

kingflower: Life is unfair, deal with it.


Better way to put that : "child psychology" by black box recorder..
 
2013-09-09 07:18:19 PM
I'm sorry Fast Food workers, but those jobs are there for high school aged kids, not careers.  If you can't live the good life cause they only pay you minimum wage, read a got damn book and learn to do something got damn else.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:53 PM

big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.


Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:11 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


Poe's law for customers being jackholes to lower wage people, I suppose?

I'm of the opinion that if you're being a dick to employees of a place, the customer is not always right, and said customer should be shown the door after snapping a picture of him to hand out to local businesses so they know who not to deal with.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:21 PM
Swing and a miss on the humor front. I'm more interested in the logistics of actually build a vertical burrito.

Would one roll the bottom part tightly and ladle the ingredients in or would a controlled diagonal approach that causes the components to settle in a roughly layered pattern be more efficient. The former seems to provide more control and accuracy, but the latter seems easier to construct.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:54 PM
TURN THE farkER SIDEWAYS AND EAT IT LIKE CORN ON THE COB!

make lemonade.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:58 PM

DuudeStanky: Can anyone explain what the purpose of an SSL certificate on that site would be?

Its not like you're passing any info back and forth that requires encryption...


The NSA needs to see your order.
 
2013-09-09 07:20:55 PM

LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.


Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.
 
2013-09-09 07:21:00 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


In his defense, this dumb rant is at least 8 years old. ...so he would've been whining while we were slaughtering Afghan/Iraqi people, not Syrians.
 
2013-09-09 07:21:02 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.


That's because they are all middle managers.
 
2013-09-09 07:23:19 PM

RedVentrue: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

That's because they are all middle managers.


Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"? That's all I'm trying to do, discredit that notion, because it goes against real-world experience.
 
2013-09-09 07:25:16 PM

highendmighty: If you're from California, try this place: "_____berto's"


Off the top of my head:

Alejandro's
Alejandra's
Alberto's
Albertaco's
Adalberto's

And that's just in a ten mile radius from my house.

/Carne Asada Nachos, Por Favor
 
2013-09-09 07:26:19 PM
Farkers, you are so dumb for acting all stern and shiatty about obvious over the top ranting for the sake of humor.

Laugh a little, will you? You're worse than the behavior you decry.
 
2013-09-09 07:26:40 PM

untaken_name: RedVentrue: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

That's because they are all middle managers.

Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"? That's all I'm trying to do, discredit that notion, because it goes against real-world experience.


It's because DMV employees are government workers who can't be (arent) fired for incompetence.

Fast food workers have more accountability than DMV workers.
 
2013-09-09 07:27:58 PM
How much you wanna bet the guy made his burrito like that on purpose? Super entitled jackass,
 
2013-09-09 07:28:59 PM

firefly212: Some mornings when I wake up, my MS sucks, and I can't stand because my legs just spazz wildly and I fall down. My apartment is not even remotely handicap accessible, and I can't afford ones that are, so that means I end up eating candy/whatever is within reach of my bedroom, crawling to the bathroom when I can't hold my crutches, and generally wasting a day in bed. To me, that seems like something worthy of getting mad about...


Reading your post makes me realize that I've been pretty lucky so far. I'm dealing with it too -- it's been about two-and-a-half years. I'm just going to keep making plans for the future and deal with it when it comes. If I need to push things back because of a lost day in bed (and there have been a couple) I guess I'll get to it later. In the meantime I guess all I can do is try and be healthy. (end threadjack)
 
2013-09-09 07:29:16 PM

USA Prime Credit Peggy: /Carne Asada Nachos, Por Favor


I recommend the pollo asada.

/i yuv guacamole.
 
2013-09-09 07:29:46 PM

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


In my neck of the woods, halfway down our body is how we wear our pants. God help me if I ever see anyone wearing them 100% up or down their body.
 
2013-09-09 07:29:48 PM
the guy is getting paid minimum wage to put up with your bullshiat, why should he care what you think?
 
2013-09-09 07:30:03 PM

mcsmiley: Whitey Bear: Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.

Except this is supposed to be a humor piece. (read the last line of the article)  I have yet to ever come a cross a burrito that matches to spec in the rant.  And, considering how burritos are usually made, it would require that the person making the burrito to be intentionally trying to screw with him.


Here's a tip:  if you have to explain to people that it was a farking joke, it wasn't.

Another tip, this one for Subby:  The reason why we have minimum wage jobs is because there are some douchenozzles with the empathy of a Rombot who would be glad to enslave people if they could.
 
2013-09-09 07:30:05 PM
I guess I'm in the distinct minority of people who were raised to take pride in their work.  When I worked food service for four years at an amusement park, I always did my best to ensure the customers got good food.  Some people just want to slack off and get paid for it.
 
2013-09-09 07:30:22 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.


FTA: "Poverty is often blamed on "the personal failings of the poor," co-author Jiaying Zhao says. This is evidence that the situation itself hurts people's ability to concentrate and make decisions. "
 
2013-09-09 07:33:07 PM

LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

FTA: "Poverty is often blamed on "the personal failings of the poor," co-author Jiaying Zhao says. This is evidence that the situation itself hurts people's ability to concentrate and make decisions. "


Sounds like BS to me. Maybe that's because I'm not poor.
 
2013-09-09 07:34:33 PM

violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.


No kidding.

It's like a Mexican food push-up pop.
 
2013-09-09 07:36:04 PM
If these guys made it that way:

2.bp.blogspot.com

They'd charge you 16$ for it and people would gape in wonder.
 
2013-09-09 07:36:12 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

FTA: "Poverty is often blamed on "the personal failings of the poor," co-author Jiaying Zhao says. This is evidence that the situation itself hurts people's ability to concentrate and make decisions. "

Sounds like BS to me. Maybe that's because I'm not poor.


Maybe you can take your money and fund your own study. Or not, because being an egotistical moron costs no money at all.
 
2013-09-09 07:39:42 PM

LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

FTA: "Poverty is often blamed on "the personal failings of the poor," co-author Jiaying Zhao says. This is evidence that the situation itself hurts people's ability to concentrate and make decisions. "

Sounds like BS to me. Maybe that's because I'm not poor.

Maybe you can take your money and fund your own study. Or not, because being an egotistical moron costs no money at all.


That's good, so even you can afford it. At least you have something!
 
2013-09-09 07:44:40 PM
Jokes are supposed to be funny.

OTOH, now I want a burrito. Damn you, internet!
 
2013-09-09 07:45:48 PM

State_College_Arsonist: I guess I'm in the distinct minority of people who were raised to take pride in their work.  When I worked food service for four years at an amusement park, I always did my best to ensure the customers got good food.  Some people just want to slack off and get paid for it.


So you kicked them out of your store with a map to a real chef's restaurant?
 
2013-09-09 07:46:40 PM

NaziKamikaze: A coworker was dying to share this with me last week. I got about halfway through before I stopped reading. Using fark for every other word and capitalizing more often than not is a real turnoff, and I just couldn't muster a bit of sympathy over a silly burrito.

But this is why we'll always have bloggers: self importance and narcissism inflates the seriousness of mundane things and the criticality to get the word out about it. I guess there's an element of being a victim in this case as well.


You must be fun at parties.
 
2013-09-09 07:46:50 PM

untaken_name: Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"?


Usually in the hospitality industry, higher pay DOES equal higher competence.  Not that by paying somebody more money will suddenly turn them into Supercook, but if you jack up the wages it's a sign to the more high-quality cooks in the area that you aren't screwing around, and will bring more of them to your door seeking employment.
 
2013-09-09 07:47:32 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: If these guys made it that way:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x326]

They'd charge you 16$ for it and people would gape in wonder.


Canadian.....Taco?  Canadian.  Taco.  Canadian :  Taco.  My brain won't let me put those two words in the same sentence for some reason.  I'll keep trying.

/Canadian Talco
//Damn, almost had it...
 
2013-09-09 07:47:45 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: Okay I know one of you farkers ate a tongue or brain burrito. How does each one taste?


Lengue tacos.  Very good.  Beefy, no funk.
 
2013-09-09 07:48:24 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: NaziKamikaze: A coworker was dying to share this with me last week. I got about halfway through before I stopped reading. Using fark for every other word and capitalizing more often than not is a real turnoff, and I just couldn't muster a bit of sympathy over a silly burrito.

But this is why we'll always have bloggers: self importance and narcissism inflates the seriousness of mundane things and the criticality to get the word out about it. I guess there's an element of being a victim in this case as well.

You must be fun at parties.


He wouldn't know.  His invites always seem to get "lost in the mail".
 
2013-09-09 07:49:10 PM

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


Assembling fast food according to a diagram on the wall is not a $7.26+/hour job, and I don't think more money is going to make someone ambivalent give a damn or make someone incompetent adept, but whatever.

If you want more money, try giving a sh*t about doing your job right FIRST, and then you might be considered for a raise or promotion. Until then, the minimum expectation for this minimum wage is that you make the food you prepare look like the picture in front of you.
 
2013-09-09 07:50:18 PM

PsiChick: ...How the hell do you  do that? I mean, really. That's, like, 'I did this shiat on purpose, look on in awe' levels of farking up burritos.


I think it would be easy to make a burrito like that.  Line up the ingredients like you normally would, and turn the tortilla 180 degrees before rolling.
 
2013-09-09 07:52:00 PM
Minimum wage is for workers to show up and do the minimum amount of work.  Just enough to qualify to get paid.  In return, the employer pays that worker the minimum they are legally allowed to pay.That is the social contract of these things.

If you expect more than the minimum from a minimum wage worker, you are the problem, not the minimum wage worker.  If you want that minimum wage worker to give you 110%! or some crap your dad told you about over and over when you were little, you need to spend time pondering the nature of minimum wage work.  Mostly being that high levels of motivation, pride, and dedication are, at best, at odds with the very idea of minimum wage work.  At worst, I suppose that it is some cruelty to expect anyone to provide more than the minimum effort for a minimum wage.
 
2013-09-09 07:52:30 PM
I was going to complain on my Facebook status that my lunchtime burrito had little meat and too much rice and other cheap filler, but then I recalled there is a war going on in Syria... so, yeah.
 
2013-09-09 07:53:58 PM
I chuckled. Not comedy gold. But parts of it were kinda funny.
 
2013-09-09 07:55:56 PM

DoctorWhat: Protip:  swearing doesn't actually make you funny.


I dunno about that. The f-you scene in Observe & Report is funny.
 
2013-09-09 07:56:42 PM
Hipster humor.
 
2013-09-09 07:56:53 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.


I don't think the guy was dumb. In fact, it takes more brains and skill to make a burrito like that.
 
2013-09-09 07:59:29 PM

untaken_name: RedVentrue: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

That's because they are all middle managers.

Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"? That's all I'm trying to do, discredit that notion, because it goes against real-world experience.


You've got a point. Some places people fail upwards. The DMV is one of those.
 
2013-09-09 08:00:56 PM
I thought the main point of the post was to advertise his card game-thingy linked at the bottom of the article?  Something about silly arguments about crazy fights.  Guess not if no one else has mentioned it by now.

I was glad to see it was a made up rant, because both the worker and complaint seemed to dumb to be real.

/Came in hoping people would be talking about the card game or at least complaining that this link was just an ad for the game.
 
2013-09-09 08:03:14 PM

mooseyfate: Quantum Apostrophe: If these guys made it that way:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x326]

They'd charge you 16$ for it and people would gape in wonder.

Canadian.....Taco?  Canadian.  Taco.  Canadian :  Taco.  My brain won't let me put those two words in the same sentence for some reason.  I'll keep trying.

/Canadian Talco
//Damn, almost had it...


Eh, they're as bland as you can imagine. How they got rated as a Mexican restaurant when they put Banh Mi in tacos is interesting.
 
2013-09-09 08:04:24 PM

yelmrog: untaken_name: Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"?

Usually in the hospitality industry, higher pay DOES equal higher competence.  Not that by paying somebody more money will suddenly turn them into Supercook, but if you jack up the wages it's a sign to the more high-quality cooks in the area that you aren't screwing around, and will bring more of them to your door seeking employment.


Possibly, but how does that apply to fast-food places? I don't think high-quality cooks are ever looking for employment at fast-food restaurants.
 
2013-09-09 08:05:57 PM
Didn't Fark get its collective panties' in a twist after seeing that the Five Dollar Footlong was, in fact, not one foot in length?
 
2013-09-09 08:08:01 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: mooseyfate: Quantum Apostrophe: If these guys made it that way:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x326]

They'd charge you 16$ for it and people would gape in wonder.

Canadian.....Taco?  Canadian.  Taco.  Canadian :  Taco.  My brain won't let me put those two words in the same sentence for some reason.  I'll keep trying.

/Canadian Talco
//Damn, almost had it...

Eh, they're as bland as you can imagine. How they got rated as a Mexican restaurant when they put Banh Mi in tacos is interesting.


If I got to Canada, ain't no way in HELL I'm touching a Tex-Mex food item.  I'll survive on Canadian Bacon, french fries and gravy, maple syrup, and french toast.  That's what Canadian people eat, right?

/shiat, forgot the croissants...
 
2013-09-09 08:13:57 PM
Having eaten that exact same burrito several times at Taco Bell, I can relate.

Also, several QT wraps of similar construction.

/seas of sour cream, land of guacamole?
 
2013-09-09 08:14:47 PM
That is a whole lot of butt-hurt.
 
2013-09-09 08:16:13 PM
If it's padded out with rice, it's not a burrito.
 
2013-09-09 08:17:20 PM

AbiNormal: That is a whole lot of butt-hurt.


I agree, the people in this thread take things waaaaaaaay too seriously.  Lighten up, Francii.
 
2013-09-09 08:19:36 PM

mooseyfate: /shiat, forgot the croissants...


Well, would you settle for donuts? I know a place where you need to dislocate your jaw to fit in the meringue topping.
 
2013-09-09 08:21:04 PM
Lightenupfrancis.jpg

Seriously - lighten the heck up - it's just a burrito not a weapon of mass destruction
 
2013-09-09 08:21:14 PM
Hey author, they are not paid enough to give a ship on how a burrito should be built.
 
2013-09-09 08:26:41 PM
Many of those who make minimum wage are overpaid.
 
2013-09-09 08:28:56 PM
First of all, that burrito is technically amazing.  How did that worker even do that?  That seems much harder to do than to make it normally.

Second, incoming rebuttal along the lines of, "I work here all day, I know what kind of people eat here, I've seen you eat here, and you and I both know goddam well you ate that thing in two bites, so I'm surprised you even noticed."
 
2013-09-09 08:30:08 PM
And you idiots want an increase in minimum wage, because fark you, that's why.

This article is proof, albeit for comical effect, that those in minimum wage jobs are too lazy or too stupid to do anything better.
 
2013-09-09 08:31:38 PM

SithLord: And you idiots want an increase in minimum wage, because fark you, that's why.

This article is proof, albeit for comical effect, that those in minimum wage jobs are too lazy or too stupid to do anything better.


Why would you even make a poor soul endure something this repetitive?  Automate this with machines and you get a consistent product every single time. Fans of handmade can still go to hipster joints and food trucks operated by the owner.
 
2013-09-09 08:35:06 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: mooseyfate: /shiat, forgot the croissants...

Well, would you settle for donuts? I know a place where you need to dislocate your jaw to fit in the meringue topping.


I'm down for that! Love a good doughnut.
 
2013-09-09 08:35:27 PM

inglixthemad: Lightenupfrancis.jpg

Seriously - lighten the heck up - it's just a burrito not a weapon of mass destruction


Clearly you've never had to clean up the Taco Bell bathroom at 2 am after all the drunks come staggering in for munchies.
 
2013-09-09 08:36:26 PM
Understanding this article was for entertainment purposes, but those were a lot of words to express one's dissatisfaction with one's fast food order...

While IMO it starts off mildly amusing, it quickly reaches a point where it becomes "too cute by half.."

On a positive note, it is obvious this guy has a good sense of humor...
 
2013-09-09 08:39:11 PM

inglixthemad: Lightenupfrancis.jpg

Seriously - lighten the heck up - it's just a burrito not a weapon of mass destruction


Dude. It's a humorous blog post. Not a hard-hitting exposé on the dangers of poorly made burritos. Did you think Sam Kinison was really that worked up about everything? It's comedy. You may or may not find humor in it, but this clearly isn't a serious post.
 
2013-09-09 08:39:14 PM
This burrito:

1) didn't exist.
2) was created purposely to fark with you.

Seems to me that making a burrito like that would be more difficult than making one correctly.
 
2013-09-09 08:39:34 PM

firefly212: This guys inability to open the burrito, mix up the ingredients, then re-close it successfully, a task I've witnessed my 4 year old nephew perform, is not something he should be mad at other people about.


ARRGH! Your words are in the wrong order!

Now, put them alphabetically, like I showed you.
 
2013-09-09 08:39:52 PM
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor.

"I'm funny because I say 'fark' and 'shiat' a whole bunch.  Get it?"
 
2013-09-09 08:40:37 PM
The more I read that the more I think I see why the kid made the burrito the way he did.
 
2013-09-09 08:40:49 PM

mooseyfate: inglixthemad: Lightenupfrancis.jpg

Seriously - lighten the heck up - it's just a burrito not a weapon of mass destruction

Dude. It's a humorous blog post. Not a hard-hitting exposé on the dangers of poorly made burritos. Did you think Sam Kinison was really that worked up about everything? It's comedy. You may or may not find humor in it, but this clearly isn't a serious post.


FTA: "Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know."
 
2013-09-09 08:42:20 PM
Well, that's what I get for not reading all the way through to see it's a joke.
 
2013-09-09 08:43:40 PM

skinink: Well, that's what I get for not reading all the way through to see it's a joke.


Save face by attacking the author anyway for it not being funny.
 
2013-09-09 08:44:10 PM

jayfurr: As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.


Pretty good to a third grader. People like him need to learn how to feed themselves instead of relying on min wage folks to do it for them. You pay min wage you get minimum work plain and simple (this concept is beyond most folks). Got a problem with that feed yourself and you have no complaints.
 
2013-09-09 08:44:43 PM
I think everyone involved (Fark included) is overthinking it.

/DNRTFA
//I'll stop thinking about this now too
 
2013-09-09 08:45:11 PM

mantis!: I thought the main point of the post was to advertise his card game-thingy linked at the bottom of the article?  Something about silly arguments about crazy fights.  Guess not if no one else has mentioned it by now.

I was glad to see it was a made up rant, because both the worker and complaint seemed to dumb to be real.

/Came in hoping people would be talking about the card game or at least complaining that this link was just an ad for the game.


I saw that too.  Seems like that'd be a pretty fun "we just closed the bar and bought $50 worth of Taco Bell to gorge on while we watch the entire first season of Chappelle's Show" thing to do until sun-up.

/just hope the burrito is built right
 
2013-09-09 08:49:34 PM
I was talking about the same issue with my wife today right after we got our car washed.  They put the floor mats in the wrong way.  Poor little shiats will never get anywhere in life with that attitude.
 
2013-09-09 08:53:56 PM
He probably made the burrito like that on purpose. When I was in HS, I had friends who worked in fast food and intentionally would fark with people (nothing rude just silly/stupid stuff). If I ever came through the drive-thru and they were working and ordered something like no tomato, my cheeseburger would have 5 slices of tomato.
 
2013-09-09 09:03:33 PM
Apparently since bad things happen in other parts of the world we should let our standards slide.

Theres always somewhere in the world thats a shiatty hellhole -- you know  whats a first world problem? Complaining that people shouldn't complain about small things because bad shiat is going down on the other side of the globe.
 
2013-09-09 09:07:30 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: If these guys made it that way:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x326]

They'd charge you 16$ for it and people would gape in wonder.


I'm gaping at wonder at it. I'm thoroughly impressed by this burrito roller's creativity and skill at keeping those ingredients separate like that. Must have been some for of molecular gastronomy. Author obviously has no appreciation for the higher culinary arts.
 
2013-09-09 09:09:26 PM

OhioUGrad: He probably made the burrito like that on purpose. When I was in HS, I had friends who worked in fast food and intentionally would fark with people (nothing rude just silly/stupid stuff). If I ever came through the drive-thru and they were working and ordered something like no tomato, my cheeseburger would have 5 slices of tomato.


And this is why I buy food at grocery stores and cook it myself. Fast food is usually an experiment in misery, and sit-down restaurants vary so wildly that you really have to know you can trust them before taking a chance.
 
2013-09-09 09:13:23 PM
I read it. Would've found it more amusing had it not described my local burrito place.
 
2013-09-09 09:15:06 PM
Silly me: I thought that was the way they were supposed to be. I'll eat the next one I order from side to side.
 
2013-09-09 09:17:15 PM
i1253.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-09 09:27:41 PM
 
2013-09-09 09:28:38 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


Know how I know you didn't read to the end? 'Cause if you had, you would have seen this:

"If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know. "
 
2013-09-09 09:30:30 PM
Don't blame the burrito jockey cause you're too lazy to shake it up.
 
2013-09-09 09:30:37 PM
I love burritos, they are filling, tasty and one of the healthiest fast food options out there.

This worker committed a food related atrocity. Of course you layer them lengthwise, it's completely obvious! Let me put it this way, would you eat a pizza that was dough and cheese on one strip, next to a strip of tomato sauce and dough only and next to a strip of pepperoni and dough only? OF COURSE NOT, YOU LAY THEM ON TOP OF EACH OTHER! ITS THE SAME THING WITH A BURRITO!

I consider myself to be a good customer. I'm usually polite and patient but that would be a life time restaurant blacklist for me.
 
2013-09-09 09:37:37 PM

Almost Everybody Poops: ITT: People I can easily identify that did not read the article to the end.


Nor am I reading this thread to the end, but can you blame any of us? It's a stupid thing to rant about, so why keep reading to the end?
 
msP
2013-09-09 09:40:40 PM

LoneVVolf: Maddox has a new page?


It's funny- I used to read that "blog" about a decade ago when I was a kid and just thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I'd forgotten about it for years until you just mentioned it and went back to read it. Holy shiat it was so bad. And at first I thought it was just that his new stuff had lost its punch but I re-read the old stuff and realized it just isn't funny.
 
2013-09-09 09:41:40 PM
Funny, I have NEVER had a burrito like this. I call bullshiat.
 
2013-09-09 09:43:01 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


That looks like Paris Hilton after a money shot.

NSFW dude, sheesh.
 
2013-09-09 09:45:34 PM

big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.


But paying a position more may attract more competent applicants, allowing one to be selective about whom they hire.

Bet that was hard to figure out.
 
2013-09-09 09:50:45 PM

violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.


BS is BS. TB's steak burrito is actually half way decent for a fast food joint.
 
2013-09-09 09:53:15 PM

SuperNinjaToad: violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.

BS is BS. TB's steak burrito is actually half way decent for a fast food joint.


Volcano burrito or nothing!

Also I just learned they will grill any burrito if you ask.  Really kicks them all up a notch.
 
2013-09-09 09:53:36 PM

ZeroCorpse: OhioUGrad: He probably made the burrito like that on purpose. When I was in HS, I had friends who worked in fast food and intentionally would fark with people (nothing rude just silly/stupid stuff). If I ever came through the drive-thru and they were working and ordered something like no tomato, my cheeseburger would have 5 slices of tomato.

And this is why I buy food at grocery stores and cook it myself. Fast food is usually an experiment in misery, and sit-down restaurants vary so wildly that you really have to know you can trust them before taking a chance.


That's usually the best bet, but not always the most feasible. Out of all the times I've ever had fast food in my life, I've had very few unpleasant experiences/problems.
 
2013-09-09 09:55:28 PM

gadian: Minimum wage is for workers to show up and do the minimum amount of work.  Just enough to qualify to get paid.  In return, the employer pays that worker the minimum they are legally allowed to pay.That is the social contract of these things.

If you expect more than the minimum from a minimum wage worker, you are the problem, not the minimum wage worker.  If you want that minimum wage worker to give you 110%! or some crap your dad told you about over and over when you were little, you need to spend time pondering the nature of minimum wage work.  Mostly being that high levels of motivation, pride, and dedication are, at best, at odds with the very idea of minimum wage work.  At worst, I suppose that it is some cruelty to expect anyone to provide more than the minimum effort for a minimum wage.


Ironically, it's rich people who whine about entitled people who are the most entitled.
 
2013-09-09 09:57:57 PM
I find that if there is some kind of food I cannot get the way I like it, I make it myself.  For example cheese omelets, few cooks make them without burning one side.
The ones who make them most of the time only cook one side leaving this gooey raw funk in the middle.  So I make them myself and avoid all the trouble with getting upset with the cook for not knowing how to cook.
 
2013-09-09 10:11:51 PM

KresentPhresh: I hope your babies look like monkeys.


i1066.photobucket.com

I have nothing else to add.
 
2013-09-09 10:24:49 PM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


Edible semi- permeable membrane? Soooo... a tortilla. That would work great! Hey, everybody! I'm gonna be rich! I'm going to make burritos that use TORTILLAS to hold everything together!

oh, wait...
 
2013-09-09 10:27:38 PM
NorCalLos:
I know! They could use a tortilla!

and that's what I get for not reading the rest of the thread first...
 
2013-09-09 10:30:31 PM
Dude, if you don't understand the concept of separation of quality or the principle of talent pooling by diffuse evaporation then just stick to the frozen section.  The menu spans the whole range and if you don't know what you are asking for or how to get what you want then you probably don't belong on this side of the drive thru window.
 
2013-09-09 10:34:24 PM
Dear jackass who wrote the most crybaby bs ive ever read. Stop your crying and make your own damned burrito you lazy fark. Nobody cares. Dude probably rubbed his nuts on your burrito. You probably liked that part though didnt ya. Only lazy broke people eat fast food ok. shiat is junk and always will be but ohhhh when u see that shiny burrito on tv you dont care and you want it baaaaaaaad! Cuz shiat it was 99 cents!
 
2013-09-09 10:44:30 PM
The funniest part is that a tortilla is circular.  By unwrapping it and rolling it from just 90º different would smear the ingredients the way a burrito is supposed to be.
 
2013-09-09 10:45:02 PM
This is the funniest thing I have read all week...
 
2013-09-09 10:48:19 PM
Unless we convert to a Star Trek moneyless style of living, someone will always have a job that makes the "minimum wage."
 
2013-09-09 10:51:31 PM

Potter82: This worker committed a food related atrocity


Putting poison in food is a food-related atrocity.

This...not so much.
 
2013-09-09 10:52:16 PM

Lando Lincoln: Unless we convert to a Star Trek moneyless style of living, someone will always have a job that makes the "minimum wage."


Solution: eliminate the minimum wage so nobody has to live on it.
 
2013-09-09 11:05:06 PM

MrEricSir: MrEricSir: ITT: Proof that

fark. Let's try again.

ITT: Proof that < 10% of Farkers actually read the article they comment on.


You make it sound like reading the article would have actually prevented them from saying something stupid.
 
2013-09-09 11:05:35 PM

super_grass: Lando Lincoln: Unless we convert to a Star Trek moneyless style of living, someone will always have a job that makes the "minimum wage."

Solution: eliminate the minimum wage so nobody has to live on it.


Or, multiply it by 100K times
 
2013-09-09 11:09:15 PM
seems like a noble effort and the burrito just got rolled 90 degrees off what it should have been, otherwise it would have turned out fine.  also, burritos, only good when they're made by you or some guy in a truck.
 
2013-09-09 11:09:32 PM

ski9600: drjekel_mrhyde: Okay I know one of you farkers ate a tongue or brain burrito. How does each one taste?

Lengue tacos.  Very good.  Beefy, no funk.


I must disagree. Had the tongue taco. Very tough and an unpleasant taste. Would not eat again.
 
2013-09-09 11:11:50 PM

USA Prime Credit Peggy: highendmighty: If you're from California, try this place: "_____berto's"

Off the top of my head:

Alejandro's
Alejandra's
Alberto's
Albertaco's
Adalberto's

And that's just in a ten mile radius from my house.

/Carne Asada Nachos, Por Favor


Alberto's carnitas nachos!! Don't have Alberto's here and I miss them so much...
 
2013-09-09 11:27:38 PM
Burritos are Srs Bznss.
 
2013-09-10 12:00:35 AM
As a black woman, I am offended by the monkey remark at the end. Why inject such racism?
 
2013-09-10 12:39:29 AM
Man, I want a burrito in the worst way right now...
 
2013-09-10 01:00:54 AM

NutWrench: I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.


I find the worst is to go get a chicken burrito, and find out some assmuncher scooped up a bunch if hard assed rice for a surprise for you.   Nothing like having a hard time determining if it is a chicken bone or a piece of hard rice.
 
2013-09-10 01:02:21 AM

kzspam: Man, I want a burrito in the worst way right now...


Up the butt? If you can think of a worse way, I don't want to know what it is.
 
2013-09-10 01:03:39 AM

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


expect to get fired at the first excuse and replaced with someone with pride, who is willing to do the job and get a raise.
 
2013-09-10 01:07:02 AM

NorCalLos: kzspam: Man, I want a burrito in the worst way right now...

Up the butt? If you can think of a worse way, I don't want to know what it is.


ha!
 
2013-09-10 01:14:44 AM
7.25 is irrelevant.

I work in the govt and people make 100k and do the shiattiest jobs, always biatching that it is always someone elses problem and complaining of having to do work.

you have pride in your work or you do not.
if you have pride, you are not making 7.25 except for the shortest of periods.
 
2013-09-10 01:16:00 AM
Worst way to have a burrito:

Through the skull at hypersonic velocity.

/wouldn't hurt.
 
2013-09-10 01:29:52 AM

Lando Lincoln: Unless we convert to a Star Trek moneyless style of living, someone will always have a job that makes the "minimum wage."


That was ret-conned. Star Trek had money for quite a while. But yeah, point taken.
 
2013-09-10 01:31:33 AM

NorCalLos: kzspam: Man, I want a burrito in the worst way right now...

Up the butt? If you can think of a worse way, I don't want to know what it is.


Burrito up the ass, standing up in a hammock, with your parents watching.
 
2013-09-10 01:47:29 AM

studebaker hoch: Worst way to have a burrito:

Through the skull at hypersonic velocity.

/wouldn't hurt.


You sound like a guy who doesn't mind things up the butt.

/NTTAWWT
//EIP
///Kidding
 
2013-09-10 02:09:25 AM
Nutsac_Jim:

if you have pride, you are not making 7.25 except for the shortest of periods.

And then the big bucks start rolling in.

i1277.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-10 02:21:26 AM

Uranus Is Huge!: This burrito:

1) didn't exist.
2) was created purposely to fark with you.

Seems to me that making a burrito like that would be more difficult than making one correctly.


Prolly 2.

I want to find the guy in the article and get his face in every restaurant in his town. Have everyone fark up his orders.
 
2013-09-10 03:28:37 AM

lohphat: NorCalLos: kzspam: Man, I want a burrito in the worst way right now...

Up the butt? If you can think of a worse way, I don't want to know what it is.

Burrito up the ass, standing up in a hammock, with your parents watching.


I got a frozen one at the store (burrito, not a butt), It was pretty bad. (again, I'm referring to the burrito)
 
2013-09-10 03:29:16 AM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


Maybe rice paper?
 
2013-09-10 03:44:51 AM
So did anyone actually go to El Famous Burrito? I want to know how it's held up after all these years.
 
2013-09-10 03:55:21 AM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


Your barrier would be rice
 
2013-09-10 04:19:19 AM

xalres: edible semi-permeable membrane <------ words that make the gut growl


Edible semi-permeable membrane  just like grandma used to make .... when she was working R&D for Dow Chemical
 
2013-09-10 04:20:52 AM
Wow. That was really, really bad. I'm certainly not going to introduce the author to people I know, lest he screw them up. With his arrogance, and hist 'wit', and his boisterous, frat-boy verbal violence, and his overreach, both in style and in the length of the piece, and his use of capitals. Man, I want those minutes of my life back more than anything. Rot in hell, subby, for thinking this was a funny find.
 
2013-09-10 04:28:25 AM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


mmmmmmmmmmm steamed hams , just like they have back in Utica
 
2013-09-10 05:10:36 AM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]


Pero that's not a burrito.
 
2013-09-10 05:45:38 AM
Stupidly overdone rant even as "satire" - check.  Valid issue though?  Also check.  This is pretty much akin to someone rolling up all your sandwich meat, sticking it on one side, doing the same with some lettuce on the other side, and pouring half-inch deep dots of each condiment in various random locations.  Do people do that shiat sometimes, at least with the condiments?  Yeah.  Does that make it good or something your should put up with?  Not really, no.

/You aren't a dipshiat for wanting your food made at least vaguely properly, fast food or not.  The more you let people get away with serving it like that, the more they'll do it.
//You ARE a dumbass if you go berserk aggro about it - even if you're trying to poke fun.
///You've gone full dumbass if you try the old "but there are horrible things going on in the world, why are you worried about X OMGZ??" shtick.  In that case, because Syria please let all standards lapse immediately.  You probably bought the "starving children in Africa" line when you were a kid with your veggies, didn't you?
 
2013-09-10 06:21:31 AM

skinink: So instead of bringing this to the manager's attention so that the behavior can either be corrected or the burrito maker replaced, you blog about it? I'm more pissed at the people who just let the bad behavior continue.


All that is necessary for evil to flourish is for good men to remain silent.

/mmm, burrito
 
2013-09-10 07:15:44 AM
Reminds me of Mighty Taco:

www.mightytaco.com
 
2013-09-10 07:44:07 AM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.


What do you say we make a bet on this, Mortimer?
 
2013-09-10 07:53:11 AM

Fano: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

What do you say we make a bet on this, Mortimer?


The usual stakes?
 
2013-09-10 08:08:14 AM

untaken_name: Fano: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

What do you say we make a bet on this, Mortimer?

The usual stakes?


of course!
 
2013-09-10 08:19:43 AM

fanbladesaresharp: Does Maddox have an angry cousin he's never mentioned?


As a matter of fact,
http://haddox.sydlexia.com/
 
2013-09-10 09:21:09 AM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


Or get yourself a trained monkey..
 
2013-09-10 09:37:43 AM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


Unlike Syria, this guy is focusing on something he can control. There is no point about getting crazy about something you have no control over, like say a meteor falling on your car, or a bunch of Germans having a baby-tossing contest. But something within your power to effect is understandable, like the guy forgetting to put your lugnuts back on after a brakejob, or Starbucks only filling your coffee cup up halfway.
 
2013-09-10 10:09:57 AM
Even though the blog was a work of comedy and fiction (?) it's not too much to ask that your food gets made correctly. I'm not talking about "Wah! It doesn't look the advertisment with the perfect layers of lettuce and tomato and the steaming fries and bubbling coke." I'm talking about shiat just being made the way it's generally supposed to.
If you advertise a super bacon heart killer buger that's got 3 strips of bacon on the bottom, a big ass meat patty, 3 more strips of bacon, and 2 slices of cheese, then I should get those things in pretty much that order. If the bacon is really small slices and fried to a consitancy of chalk that's understandable. If I get two slices of bacon, the burger halway out of the bun, and a slice of cheese in the bag next to the wrapped up burger, that is not. That's not minimum wage's worth of service, that's just plain farking lazy.

Things I have personaly seen or been served.
A Big Mac, that starting from the bottom, went meat, bun, bun,meat, bun. How hard its that to fark up? What worker, who upon holding the newly assembled abortion of a burger before wrapping says "Eh, close enough."

McD's 'premium'  chicken sandwich with no chicken. Just the bread, mayo, a tomato, some lettuce, and thats it. You would think that chicken would be the most important ingredient in a chicken sandwich. But apparently not.

A cheeseburger with extra pickles and onion. I got it with no beef. Just a veggie Goddamn sandwich. It wasn't entered wrong, I checked the reciept. It was a cheese burger where they just arbitrarily left off the cheese and the burger.

I ordered a 8 piece nugget from BK. I got a nugget box, but inside was a single sasuage patty. WTF? I could understand getting chicken fries instead due to incompetence, but a sasuage patty? Who mistakes 1 sasuage for 8 nuggets? Worse was that it was 4pm, and breafast hadn't been for  5 hours. There shouldnt' even have been any sasuages lying around.

A chicken sandwich, hold the tomato. Tomato was placed on top of the sandwich. Like they were told not to put it in there, and then they had no idea of what to do with it.

Many times I've had minor errors where I asked for cheese and didn't get any, or failed to get an item that I had paid for, but that I can understand. But when you make the same damn sandwich 800 times a day, you think you'd have it down.


/I'm not fat, but I'm working on it.
 
2013-09-10 10:30:06 AM
Hey everyone!

Just thought I'd stop by and answer some of the speculation. Here goes:

I am super fat.

Like morbidly.

Like on a scooter fat.

Also: That headline attached to this isn't mine. I said nothing about labor laws or wages or any of that nonsense.

What I did was tried to write something funny. Not as a commentary on anything other than that disgusting bite of sour cream you all take every now and then. It's open for debate whether or not I succeeded in being funny, but let me save you the trouble:

67 percent of redditors liked it.

So it's a D+.

Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and you had to suffer through my "Is this joke even going to graduate?" writing.

But I'm willing to work at it, so how about any of you who feel so strongly about how much I suck at this go grab the funniest thing you have ever written or done, and we'll stack it against this horrible joke anywhere you want online and see which does better.

Let's all get better together.
 
2013-09-10 10:43:26 AM
To save some of you some time finding the funniest thing you ever wrote:

I'd say insulting  (you're fat go to hell)  a real guy (me) for very clearly jokingly insulting another hypothetical unnamed guy (the burrito maker) is the funniest thing you ever wrote.
 
2013-09-10 11:18:25 AM
From the diagram, it looked to me like maybe the burrito fillings were piled correctly, but the tortilla was turned 90 degrees and rolled incorrectly.

Not the end of the world.
 
2013-09-10 12:10:09 PM

Fano: untaken_name: Fano: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.

Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.

What do you say we make a bet on this, Mortimer?

The usual stakes?

of course!


Very well.
qsl.net
 
2013-09-10 12:40:19 PM

NutWrench: I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.


I'm making them that way from now on.
 
2013-09-10 02:21:44 PM
Hmmm, people biatching on a web site about some guy who biatched on a web site.
 
2013-09-10 02:45:57 PM

marleymaniac: Hmmm, people biatching on a web site about some guy who biatched on a web site.


And?
Surely you aren't saying all biatching is the same.
 
2013-09-10 03:41:38 PM
"You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe."

Oh man, I can't wait until this guy learns about Hitler!
 
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