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(Medium)   "Dear guy who just made my burrito, this is why we'll always have minimum wage jobs"   (medium.com) divider line 335
    More: Fail, minimum wages  
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34359 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:49 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-09 06:46:55 PM

Whitey Bear: Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.


Except this is supposed to be a humor piece. (read the last line of the article)  I have yet to ever come a cross a burrito that matches to spec in the rant.  And, considering how burritos are usually made, it would require that the person making the burrito to be intentionally trying to screw with him.
 
2013-09-09 06:46:58 PM

redTiburon: meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.

yet here you are


I can't actually do anything about either situation, this guy's Poe's Law like parody of complaints or the Syria thing.

I am however amused at myself for falling for this (I didn't read to the bottom), and the response he is getting from others.

//Not so highly amused with the Syria thing.....
 
2013-09-09 06:47:54 PM

Five Tails of Fury: Suck it up, Nancy.

/what's the mexican comparative name to nancy, anyhow?


Nancia?
La Nancy?

I think it's one of those, but I'm not sure.

/Guadalupe?
 
2013-09-09 06:48:29 PM
Lots of work for no payoff.
 
2013-09-09 06:49:54 PM

Anayalator: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.
[sustainabledad.com image 850x566]

Those are tacos, ese.


Yeah, that's why I used the term open faced burrito.

[that'sthe joke.jpg]
 
2013-09-09 06:50:58 PM
All Internet comical-rant writing sounds the same.
 
2013-09-09 06:52:22 PM
"HEY BEANS IT'S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE."

Should we leave you two alone? Might need some bean-o.
 
2013-09-09 06:52:41 PM
See this is why I don't care for hard shell tacos.  You get one good bite from the end that has lettuce, tomato, meat and cheese.  Then the whole middle of the thing is either lettuce, cheese and tomato or meat filling.

No way my mouth is big enough to have it all at once.
 
2013-09-09 06:53:38 PM

69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.


Those are tacos. I've got a taco truck that serves these tacos. The only person who speaks english in this thing is the 10 year old boy.

i.imgur.com

$1.50 per taco. I like the steak ones personally. Tortillas are fresh made in the truck.

La Haciendita its so obscure it doesn't even have a website.
 
2013-09-09 06:54:44 PM
I found a picture of the author.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-09-09 06:54:48 PM

assjuice: Meanwhile on reddit some retard posts about the amazing epic random awkward burrito he made at work for some old guy.


Dude, you're on Fark. We're all retards, just different flavors.
 
2013-09-09 07:01:33 PM
The rant is valid, but it's a lousy rant. This guy writes like a first-year journalism student given his big chance to pen his first column for the student newspaper. Too many different ways to say the same thing, so instead of choosing, he just threw them all in there.

/I remember editing those
//Yeah, and writing them
 
2013-09-09 07:01:52 PM
ITT: Proof that
 
2013-09-09 07:02:04 PM

Igor Jakovsky: 69gnarkill69: I prefer my burrito to be served open faced by a guy named Concepcion who does not speak English very well.

Those are tacos. I've got a taco truck that serves these tacos. The only person who speaks english in this thing is the 10 year old boy.

[i.imgur.com image 300x225]

$1.50 per taco. I like the steak ones personally. Tortillas are fresh made in the truck.

La Haciendita its so obscure it doesn't even have a website.


Those are tacos? 52 years living amongst the culture that cooks and sells the hell out of those things and they've been lying to me all this time!
 
2013-09-09 07:02:27 PM
Make a burrito yourself, you fat fark.
 
2013-09-09 07:02:29 PM
dude is like Dane Cook.  figures if he says "f*ck" enough times people will think its funny.  and if you'd go to a legitimate taco stand and have a real Mexican make your burrito you wouldn't have that problem anyway.
 
2013-09-09 07:02:50 PM

MrEricSir: ITT: Proof that


fark. Let's try again.

ITT: Proof that < 10% of Farkers actually read the article they comment on.
 
2013-09-09 07:03:52 PM

Justice By Zig: leonel: Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.

No, he's entitled to minimum wage so long as he does his job correctly.

People are acting like they're entitled to something no matter how useless of a human being they are.


And it is the manager's job to find people who will do the job correctly.  If all of those people set the wage price higher than minimum wage, the manager will have to pay higher than minimum wage.  Everyone needs to do their job correctly.
 
2013-09-09 07:04:21 PM

Isitoveryet: LOL, i especially liked the lifesavers comment.

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.
but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

nope, don't see me doing that.



Actually, you did that on Tuesday
 
2013-09-09 07:05:51 PM
Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.
 
2013-09-09 07:07:47 PM

ThatDarkFellow: drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2

I haven't been to Chicago in forever, but I miss El Famous Burrito. It's like a giant football stuffed with meat.


Wife just called, she's going home with a migraine.  I'm on my own for dinner, and you just answered the question of "What to have?"

Mmmmmm...meat stuffed football...
 
2013-09-09 07:08:25 PM

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


I don't mean to burst your bubble, but if you live in a place that has "real Mexicans", they're most likely cooking the Chinese food in those Chinese restaurants that employ real Chinese waiters and hosts. That's not a criticism, either, just some insider knowledge for you.
 
2013-09-09 07:08:26 PM
Sounds like Johnny McMinimumwage needs a layer of bootstraps inside that tortilla.
 
2013-09-09 07:08:46 PM
Anyone posted this gem yet?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-09 07:09:32 PM

p51d007: Not only that, 99% of fast food joints know that the bulk of their employees can't READ, so they have PICTURES of what the damn food is suppose to look like, and how it is assembled.  The problem comes from the fact most fast food workers can't get a job doing anything else because they are just too damn stupid to do anything other than smoke weed, ride a skateboard and wear their pants 1/2 way down their body.  I've just about sworn off fast food.  If I want a GOOD Mexican dinner, I go to a Mexican place that has "real Mexicans" that run it.  Got a few in my neck of the woods.  Their workers (as with the Chinese restaurants that employee real Chinese people) WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF!  Never been to one where they were not NICE, fast on service and always SMILING.  Try to find that with your typical low life, bum fast food worker.


Around our neck of the woods, when you want to get the best Sushi you actually look for the place with Mexicans making the Sushi.  Couldn't tell you why, but for some reason Mexicans (in this area anyway) make the best Sushi chefs.

/My girlfriend at the time suggested it was the black hair.
//So far the rule works
///Last time I had sushi made by a blond-haired dude it was awful
 
2013-09-09 07:09:54 PM

Fizpez: zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]

Arby's is EASILY the most egregious violator in the way their product looks in advertisements vs. reality.

Big Beef and Cheddar looks like it stands about 7" tall smothered in a cheesy waterfall...

The reality is one squirt of cheese off center and already soaked in to the bread while the rest of the sandwich is flat enough to slide under a closed door.


There's tough competition, but we have a winner...

branthansen.typepad.combranthansen.typepad.com
 
2013-09-09 07:09:58 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


I suppose the hot dog guy wants more than a shilling on Xmas.
 
2013-09-09 07:10:29 PM
Just another entitled, whining, fat-fark.  He went into a cheap-ass fast food place and then was disappointed that his food wasn't prepared by a classically trained french chef.  Actually, I'll bet that burrito was made the way it was deliberately after this ass took an attitude.
 
2013-09-09 07:11:01 PM

mooseyfate: jayfurr: As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.

I laughed several time. The mental image of a person trying to bite down on a burrito lengthwise and the gut-shot burrito comment especially made me laugh. And while we're on the subject of poorly made Tex-mex: the hard taco is a failure of engineering. Soft tacos are great, but hard tacos are bullshiat. I have only one option when eating a hard taco; tilt my head to 90 degrees and hope for the best. fark all the noise, I don't eat like a nursing calf.


Lol
 
2013-09-09 07:11:04 PM
Life is unfair, deal with it.
 
2013-09-09 07:13:06 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: drjekel_mrhyde: I'm sorry but that burrito has a bunch of bullshiat that is just filler.
Shell, meat, onion, cheese and cilantro and that's it. You pour your own farking salsa(I like green) on and in it.
/If you're in Chicago try this place http://www.pasadita.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id= 5 &Itemid=2

The place is so farking good it has 3 stores on one farking block


I used to live around the corner, tacos or pizza metro were my go to for dinner.
/not fat
//miss that apartment
 
2013-09-09 07:14:39 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.


Bureaucracy is it's own special universe.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:44 PM
I may have missed it in between the 200 f-bombs but I see nothing in there pertaining to minimum wage.

But regardless that was terribly unfunny and the girl who wrote it should be embarrassed. If it was a guy then he should be twice as embarrassed.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:52 PM

biorhythmist: The entire farking thing is a parody of complaining culture and the tired first world problem genre.


His humor skills are so not up to par that he fell straight into the Poe's Law trap. He didn't even parody, he just emulated. Given that everyone took his rant for serious-but-attempted-witty instead of parody, he should have admitted his utter fail.

Preferably on Fmylife.com.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:05 PM

Igor Jakovsky: This why I only get my tacos/burrotos from this little kotchen at the back of a Mexican grocery. The tortillas are made fresh onsite. The veggies are grown in a garden out back and the meat comes from beef or chicken that is farm raised and slaughtered daily on site. The things are assembled by little old Mexican ladies who don't speak English.. You have to order in Spanish or you're out of luck.

Id tell you where it is but its hard to find because it doesn't have a sign out front. You really have to hunt for it. Best Mexican food EVAR.


Also, once you find the place, a little chime plays. You get to keep the bottle the burrito comes in, to put Poes, or insects, or medicine, or whathhaveyou in.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:19 PM

kingflower: Life is unfair, deal with it.


Better way to put that : "child psychology" by black box recorder..
 
2013-09-09 07:18:19 PM
I'm sorry Fast Food workers, but those jobs are there for high school aged kids, not careers.  If you can't live the good life cause they only pay you minimum wage, read a got damn book and learn to do something got damn else.
 
2013-09-09 07:18:53 PM

big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.


Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:11 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


Poe's law for customers being jackholes to lower wage people, I suppose?

I'm of the opinion that if you're being a dick to employees of a place, the customer is not always right, and said customer should be shown the door after snapping a picture of him to hand out to local businesses so they know who not to deal with.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:21 PM
Swing and a miss on the humor front. I'm more interested in the logistics of actually build a vertical burrito.

Would one roll the bottom part tightly and ladle the ingredients in or would a controlled diagonal approach that causes the components to settle in a roughly layered pattern be more efficient. The former seems to provide more control and accuracy, but the latter seems easier to construct.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:54 PM
TURN THE farkER SIDEWAYS AND EAT IT LIKE CORN ON THE COB!

make lemonade.
 
2013-09-09 07:19:58 PM

DuudeStanky: Can anyone explain what the purpose of an SSL certificate on that site would be?

Its not like you're passing any info back and forth that requires encryption...


The NSA needs to see your order.
 
2013-09-09 07:20:55 PM

LoneWolf343: big pig peaches: Ishidan: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

Minus taxes, commute costs, and other assorted bullshiat...more like five an hour, no benefits.

Paying the incompetent more isn't suddenly going to make them competent.

Maybe he's incompetent because poverty decreases IQ by 13 points.


Either that, or people with lower IQs tend to end up poor.
 
2013-09-09 07:21:00 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


In his defense, this dumb rant is at least 8 years old. ...so he would've been whining while we were slaughtering Afghan/Iraqi people, not Syrians.
 
2013-09-09 07:21:02 PM

untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.


That's because they are all middle managers.
 
2013-09-09 07:23:19 PM

RedVentrue: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

That's because they are all middle managers.


Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"? That's all I'm trying to do, discredit that notion, because it goes against real-world experience.
 
2013-09-09 07:25:16 PM

highendmighty: If you're from California, try this place: "_____berto's"


Off the top of my head:

Alejandro's
Alejandra's
Alberto's
Albertaco's
Adalberto's

And that's just in a ten mile radius from my house.

/Carne Asada Nachos, Por Favor
 
2013-09-09 07:26:19 PM
Farkers, you are so dumb for acting all stern and shiatty about obvious over the top ranting for the sake of humor.

Laugh a little, will you? You're worse than the behavior you decry.
 
2013-09-09 07:26:40 PM

untaken_name: RedVentrue: untaken_name: LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.

You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.

That's because they are all middle managers.

Right, but doesn't that (the knowledge that middle managers are useless) also tend to discredit the argument that "more pay = more competence"? That's all I'm trying to do, discredit that notion, because it goes against real-world experience.


It's because DMV employees are government workers who can't be (arent) fired for incompetence.

Fast food workers have more accountability than DMV workers.
 
2013-09-09 07:27:58 PM
How much you wanna bet the guy made his burrito like that on purpose? Super entitled jackass,
 
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