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(Medium)   "Dear guy who just made my burrito, this is why we'll always have minimum wage jobs"   (medium.com) divider line 335
    More: Fail, minimum wages  
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34354 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:49 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



335 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 03:29:21 PM
As angry pointless online rants go, this one is pretty good.
 
2013-09-09 03:31:29 PM
Apparently not a fan of the traditional 9 layer dip burrito
 
2013-09-09 03:40:41 PM
If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.
 
2013-09-09 03:41:49 PM
Burritos are fairly simple in design that is not difficult to master; I find this rant valid.
 
2013-09-09 03:48:31 PM
Crazy and off meds is no waY TO GET THROUGH LIFE OR COMEDY.
 
2013-09-09 03:48:45 PM
first world problems
 
2013-09-09 03:54:55 PM
this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.
 
2013-09-09 03:58:16 PM
I never thought it would be possible to screw up a burrito like that.
 
2013-09-09 04:02:26 PM

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.
 
2013-09-09 04:09:31 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?
 
2013-09-09 04:09:42 PM

meat0918: cannotsuggestaname: first world problems

Yup.

We could be bombing Syria tomorrow, and the worst thing in the universe is this guy's burrito builder.  It's like he didn't think for two seconds that while his burrito was made incorrectly, he could stop, unroll it, and smear the ingredients into the correct layout, either with a utensil or his goddamn finger.


Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!
 
2013-09-09 04:21:22 PM
Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.
 
2013-09-09 04:38:21 PM

SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.


FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-09-09 04:41:49 PM
vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!
 
2013-09-09 04:51:16 PM
Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.
 
2013-09-09 05:09:09 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Now I just kind of want to go to Moe's.


I haven't been to Freebird's in far too long.
 
2013-09-09 05:12:24 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


Well then....
 
2013-09-09 05:25:59 PM

violentsalvation: Every Taco Bell 7-layer burrito I've ever had has been assembled just like that.


That's what you get for going to Taco Hell.
 
2013-09-09 05:53:20 PM

vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.


Yup. You get what you pay for.  I'd happily pay an extra 50 cents to get it rolled right.

cannotsuggestaname: first world problems


Maybe, but I would wager people in the third world also prefer their food properly prepared, and complain about it accordingly.
 
2013-09-09 05:53:47 PM
Dude..get perspective.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids by twerking on MTV.  Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....
 
2013-09-09 05:53:48 PM
Some mornings when I wake up, my MS sucks, and I can't stand because my legs just spazz wildly and I fall down. My apartment is not even remotely handicap accessible, and I can't afford ones that are, so that means I end up eating candy/whatever is within reach of my bedroom, crawling to the bathroom when I can't hold my crutches, and generally wasting a day in bed. To me, that seems like something worthy of getting mad about...

This guys inability to open the burrito, mix up the ingredients, then re-close it successfully, a task I've witnessed my 4 year old nephew perform, is not something he should be mad at other people about.
 
2013-09-09 05:54:21 PM
Sounds like the kind of thing that I'd compose, in my head, while eating said burrito, consider positing to Facebook, decide life is too short to bother and just crap the thing out a few hours later.
 
2013-09-09 05:55:21 PM
I have never seen a burrito made like this, ever.
/saw this on reddit, still read it again.
//not really that satirical. ..
 
2013-09-09 05:55:32 PM

JohnCarter: Dude..get perspective.

They are gassing people in Syria, interest rates are rising, and Miley Cyrus is frightening the crap out the kids firefly by twerking on MTV.  Just deal with your damned burrito and let it go man, let it go....


Seriously, I saw that shiat a week later on the news... I feel traumatized.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:16 PM
Well the guy is paid a minimum wage, don't be surprised when he does a minimal requirement for his job.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:20 PM
ITT: People I can easily identify that did not read the article to the end.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:37 PM
That was actually sort of funny.

That was definetly intentional - I would think that would take more effort to prepare and wrap a burrito like that.
 
2013-09-09 05:57:07 PM
I'm feelin' his pain.
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-09-09 05:57:51 PM

vpb: vygramul:

Like some uncivilized barbarian? (As opposed to the civilized barbarians.) His ancestors did not crawl from the primordial ooze, evolve into symmetrical land-dwelling bipeds capable of agrarian society and the domestication of cattle so that he would be served a goddamn Neapolitan Burrito!

I'll bet you could charge extra if you called it a Neapolitan burrito!


This is quite possibly the best idea I've heard all day.

/cripes today was/is boring.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:45 PM
I chuckled a few times. Good rant.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:50 PM
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.
 
2013-09-09 05:58:52 PM
I haven't been to Taco Bell since my 15 year old daughter started working there a few weeks ago. That's the way it's gonna stay.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:14 PM
Sour cream ratio is to high.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:22 PM
Dear blogger,

Your blog sucks.

You should never be allowed to call yourself a 'writer' ever again.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:29 PM
I'm pretty sure this guy's penchants for going off on rants about tiny things contributed to his terrible burrito experience. People who make minimum wage are capable of remembering the problem customers from one visit to another. Barely, but they are.
 
2013-09-09 05:59:47 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


Dude you went to Arby's, it is always like that.

If you go out for food you get what you get, maybe not what you deserve, but as I've been assured in many a tipping thread, it is a food workers sacred right to fark up your food. Just be glad he did not piss, shiat, or jack off into it.
 
2013-09-09 06:00:21 PM
LOL, i especially liked the lifesavers comment.

Living in So Cal, sometimes you do get the occasional segregated burrito.
but you don't see me slamming the burrito down in a fit of rage on the coffee table while my friends are eating and seeing the whole thing explode into burrito shrapnel simultaneously catching the plate of shake for rolling & sending that out to cover the floor, friends & burrito fallout.

nope, don't see me doing that.
 
2013-09-09 06:01:58 PM

zenferret: I'm feelin' his pain.
[i39.tinypic.com image 850x637]


That's what you get for going to Arby's.  "Roast beef" with the flavor and consistency of a wet paper bag.
 
2013-09-09 06:02:01 PM
If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.
 
2013-09-09 06:02:04 PM
Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word
 
2013-09-09 06:02:30 PM
Two words: burrito bowl.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:06 PM
Maddox has a new page?
 
2013-09-09 06:03:07 PM
So instead of bringing this to the manager's attention so that the behavior can either be corrected or the burrito maker replaced, you blog about it? I'm more pissed at the people who just let the bad behavior continue.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:41 PM

TuteTibiImperes: SlothB77: this guy sounds like he is:

A) Fat
and
B) Doesn't really have much important going on in his life
and has
C) Anger issues

get over it, dude.  it was a horrible burrito.  mix it up with a fork and enjoy.

FTFA:
Did you like this post?I made something else I think you'll like more.
This has been a commercial.
Also, it is meant to be a work of humor. If you take from this that a human being really got as angry about a burrito as the post suggests, please never introduce me to the human beings you know.


It failed.
 
2013-09-09 06:03:54 PM
Did anyone bother to get to the end of the rant where the guy says he was trying to be funny and this is in no way to be taken seriously?
 
2013-09-09 06:04:05 PM

Dr Dreidel: vygramul: If you want someone capable of making a burrito, pay more than minimum wage.

If you want to earn more than minimum wage, learn a skill more complicated than "burrito rolling".

// doonitrite?


You should add "All food service workers who are not master chefs at their own Michelin 4-star restaurants* should be ashamed of what they do for a living, and should consider themselves lucky that I only stiffed them on the tip, and not set them on fire while they sleep!"

*I know Michelin stars only go up to three, that's the joke.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:10 PM
Dear Author - Your website is disabling the use of my "Back" button. You're the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this browserbomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:29 PM

LoneWolf343: If you pay someone $7.25 an hour, expect a $7.25/hr job.


You know, I keep hearing that, but if that's the case, why do I have more trouble at the DMV than at a typical fast food restaurant? They make good money at the DMV.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:32 PM

xalres: Actually, I'd be impressed if someone were able to make a burrito layered like that without the ingredients being swirled together in the process. It made me think of an interesting idea, make a vertically layered burrito but with different burritos. So you could get, say, an asada/chile verde/pastor burrito. They'd need to find a way to separate them, some kind of edible semi-permeable membrane to keep the flavor sections separated. Someone with more time and less of a procrastinative* streak needs to make this happen.

*is that a word


* it is now.
 
2013-09-09 06:04:41 PM
Right, the burrito jockey must be an idiot.  It isn't possible that a low paid employee working a tedious and mind numbing job just plain doesn't give a shiat.   Never worked retail or food service?  Punch in the face.  Have worked there but now that you don't anymore, act like you never did?  Much harder punch in the face.
 
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