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(Nihongogo)   It's like the plastic Easter eggs we had as children... but higher quality... and for masturbating   (nihongogo.com) divider line 73
    More: Amusing, pullouts, lubricants  
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7124 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 03:15:39 PM  
mastUrbating
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-09 03:54:58 PM  
Tricky Chicken puts the 'u' in 'masturbate'.
 
2013-09-09 04:29:17 PM  
Tenga was kind enough to supply us with their best selling model, the Wavy Egg, for testing purposes.

Us?  I'm not sure I'd want to be a on the low end of the product test team.
 
2013-09-09 04:35:01 PM  
Is the eggcitement of getting laid by an egg better than going off half-cocked with a full-size pullet?

/And I'll let somebody else take a crack at the rest of the puns.
 
2013-09-09 04:39:27 PM  

WordyGrrl: Is the eggcitement of getting laid by an egg better than going off half-cocked with a full-size pullet?

/And I'll let somebody else take a crack at the rest of the puns.


Nah, you got it. How much to people shell out for these fowl things anyway?
 
2013-09-09 04:40:44 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: WordyGrrl: Is the eggcitement of getting laid by an egg better than going off half-cocked with a full-size pullet?

/And I'll let somebody else take a crack at the rest of the puns.

Nah, you got it. How much to do people shell out for these fowl things anyway?


Ovadently I can't spell.
 
2013-09-09 04:43:29 PM  
Either I am misunderstanding the mechanics of this thing, or it doesn't look fun at all.

It's only as deep as an egg?
 
2013-09-09 04:58:10 PM  

Calmamity: Either I am misunderstanding the mechanics of this thing, or it doesn't look fun at all.

It's only as deep as an egg?


either it stretched, or it's mostly for head stimulation, not going balls deep.
 
2013-09-09 05:23:55 PM  
I'm just glad the shot glass didn't end up filled with eggnog A.K.A. guygurt.
 
2013-09-09 05:28:48 PM  
Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet
 
2013-09-09 05:30:09 PM  
So it's a Fleshlight for Asian men?
 
2013-09-09 05:32:45 PM  
The name of it, "Easy Beat" has made me laugh for the last ten minutes. Awesome.
 
2013-09-09 05:37:40 PM  
So THAT'S what those are for! We bought some at the Asian market. No matter how we cooked them, they were the worst egg substitute ever. Huh... live and learn.
 
2013-09-09 05:37:42 PM  
Mine worked great.  Nice for a change of pace, if nothing else.
 
2013-09-09 05:38:22 PM  
You mean inferior quality Easter Eggs aren't meant for masturbating? Boy is my face red.
 
2013-09-09 05:39:22 PM  

KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet


A...land field? You mean people are just throwing them on the ground?

aninfinitespace.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-09-09 05:40:10 PM  

Thudfark: You mean inferior quality Easter Eggs aren't meant for masturbating? Boy is my face red.


Probably not all that's red.
 
2013-09-09 05:40:30 PM  

Calmamity: Either I am misunderstanding the mechanics of this thing, or it doesn't look fun at all.

It's only as deep as an egg?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_zKPRhZe-w
 
2013-09-09 05:40:39 PM  
I'm not really grasping the concept here...
 
2013-09-09 05:42:31 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
Dude, I think I just filled the cup
 
2013-09-09 05:43:23 PM  

untaken_name: Thudfark: You mean inferior quality Easter Eggs aren't meant for masturbating? Boy is my face red.

Probably not all that's red.


It mostly cleared up
 
2013-09-09 05:44:13 PM  

KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet


Not only that, but they're $5 each.
 
2013-09-09 05:46:50 PM  
They apparently come in all sorts of shapes. Gotta confess I'm a bit curious.

www.cinra.net
 
2013-09-09 05:48:20 PM  
A quick look at the 'toy' section of any truck stop will give you a range of cheaper alternatives.
 
2013-09-09 05:48:51 PM  

Scarrio: Mine worked great.  Nice for a change of pace, if nothing else.


And here I just asked my GF if we could do it in the shower for a change of pace

I guess I could've just banged a rubber egg instead.
 
2013-09-09 05:51:33 PM  
That chicken egg sized thing seems kind of small for my needs.
Do they come in Ostridge or tyrannosaur?
 
2013-09-09 05:52:02 PM  
explains where the name "Egg Beaters" came from.....
 
2013-09-09 05:56:08 PM  

redsquid: A quick look at the 'toy' section of any truck stop will give you a range of cheaper alternatives.


Fill a toy cement truck with warm mashed potatoes and turn the crank as you go to town.
 
2013-09-09 06:05:38 PM  

ReapTheChaos: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

Not only that, but they're $5 each.


streetwalkers will charge you at least that much for a handie and when you're done you just throw them back on the sidewalk.  *shrug*
 
2013-09-09 06:06:54 PM  

KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet


Just like a condom, really.
 
2013-09-09 06:08:23 PM  

ReapTheChaos: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

Not only that, but they're $5 each.


Just sayin', if you balk at paying $5 a pop to whack off, you'll never be able to afford a girlfriend.
 
2013-09-09 06:14:29 PM  

untaken_name: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

A...land field? You mean people are just throwing them on the ground?


littering is better than getting caught with a used one in your car.
 
2013-09-09 06:17:30 PM  

the801: untaken_name: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

A...land field? You mean people are just throwing them on the ground?

littering is better than getting caught with a used one in your car.


Seriously? Dude, just wait til you get home. It's not *that* hard.

/thatsthejoke
 
2013-09-09 06:25:19 PM  

untaken_name: ReapTheChaos: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

Not only that, but they're $5 each.

Just sayin', if you balk at paying $5 a pop to whack off, you'll never be able to afford a girlfriend.


$5 for something you can get for free is just pissing your money down the drain.
 
2013-09-09 06:30:19 PM  
I got to the fourth paragraph before I realized that you don't put it in your butt. Still don't understand the mechanics of this thing.
 
2013-09-09 06:31:11 PM  

ReapTheChaos: untaken_name: ReapTheChaos: KellyX: Wait, hold on, they're making shiat that's designed for one time use and then throw away and go to a land field?

/I want off this planet

Not only that, but they're $5 each.

Just sayin', if you balk at paying $5 a pop to whack off, you'll never be able to afford a girlfriend.

$5 for something you can get for free is just pissing your money down the drain.


Yep, some people are cheap bastards, and some people like the finer things in life. Takes all kinds, takes all kinds.
Why buy champagne when water comes out of the tap, after all?
 
2013-09-09 06:46:12 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I got to the fourth paragraph before I realized that you don't put it in your butt. Still don't understand the mechanics of this thing.


Same here. I kept thinking that the danger of "losing" this item was very high.
 
2013-09-09 07:07:00 PM  

ABQGOD: ecmoRandomNumbers: I got to the fourth paragraph before I realized that you don't put it in your butt. Still don't understand the mechanics of this thing.

Same here. I kept thinking that the danger of "losing" this item was very high.


When you unwrap or open the thing it's supposed to have a hole you stick your dick in. Not sure wtf you're supposed to do with something you could maybe fit just the tip of your dick in, but that's what it's supposed to do. Like a pocket pussy for dwarf dicks or something.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:20 PM  
The problem with Tengra products... The Asian
 
2013-09-09 07:22:23 PM  
...and we ran an article on it last year...
 
2013-09-09 07:22:58 PM  

ReapTheChaos: $5 for something you can get for free is just pissing your money down the drain.


I'm just hoping if I say something witty enough I'll get a monthly Tenga sponsorship!
 
2013-09-09 09:02:35 PM  

llevrok: explains where the name "Egg Beaters" came from.....


Also explains the way Egg Beaters taste.
 
2013-09-09 09:31:04 PM  
It's all well and good to fark a rubber egg on the night but nine months later when a rubber chicken shows up with a paternity suit you'll regret it.
 
2013-09-09 09:41:14 PM  
Call me old school, but I prefer to stick it in things that have a little grass.

us.123rf.com
 
2013-09-09 09:48:43 PM  
So does this answer the question, what came first...?
 
2013-09-09 10:22:20 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: ABQGOD: ecmoRandomNumbers: I got to the fourth paragraph before I realized that you don't put it in your butt. Still don't understand the mechanics of this thing.

Same here. I kept thinking that the danger of "losing" this item was very high.

When you unwrap or open the thing it's supposed to have a hole you stick your dick in. Not sure wtf you're supposed to do with something you could maybe fit just the tip of your dick in, but that's what it's supposed to do. Like a pocket pussy for dwarf dicks or something.


MrEricSir: So it's a Fleshlight for Asian men?

 
2013-09-09 10:29:07 PM  
Let's just say...it's not...plan..."A".
 
2013-09-09 10:38:07 PM  
i1138.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-09 10:39:50 PM  
I do most of my masturbating either in rush hour traffic or while in hold with Verizon.
 
2013-09-09 11:00:08 PM  
Some of us prefer the hard, easily shattered sharp plastic, thank you very much!

Jeez. Kids today, all luxury and no work. Back in my day, we had to go through at least twenty five penile fractures before we found an easter egg we could masturbate with. AND WE WERE GRATEFUL!
 
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