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(CBC)   Canada slips one farking god-damned place to farking SIXTH on some piece of shiat stupid farking ass-picking son of a biatch "global happiness" survey, eh?   (cbc.ca) divider line 69
    More: Sad, Latin America and the Caribbean, Columbia University in New York, euro crisis, social support, Jeffrey Sachs, University of British Columbia  
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3293 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 5:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 04:16:31 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-09-09 04:40:15 PM  
How the hell can a country who's leader hugs kittens and wears sweater vests be 6th!?

I'm guessing it's because that leader is Stephen Harper, but still...
 
2013-09-09 05:12:56 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: How the hell can a country who's leader hugs kittens and wears sweater vests be 6th!?


Rush hour in Toronto, i.e. "How to learn insults in six languages in one evening", probably skews the results a fair bit.
 
2013-09-09 05:14:47 PM  
www.usmagazine.com
 
2013-09-09 05:15:26 PM  

ds_4815: I_Am_Weasel: How the hell can a country who's leader hugs kittens and wears sweater vests be 6th!?

Rush hour in Toronto, i.e. "How to learn insults in six languages in one evening", probably skews the results a fair bit.


And then there's Montreal, where they wrap their bumpers in barbed wire and aim for the elderly.  Mind you the slow, hazy drift that is Vancouver rush hour may have balanced things a little better if not for all the Chinese drivers.

/yeah I went there
 
2013-09-09 05:17:09 PM  

"The United States ranked 17th in the report, trailing the United Arab Emirates, Panama and Mexico. "


Shiatty economy/job market, constant reports coming out that your government spies on all citizens, country slowly changing into something not so great. Hard to be positive about the direction the U.S. is moving towards.

 
2013-09-09 05:17:42 PM  
1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. Switzerland
4. Netherlands
5. Sweden
6. Canada
7. Finland
8. Austria *
9. Iceland
10. Australia *

* They must be extremely happy to make the list twice.
 
2013-09-09 05:19:39 PM  
But we are a socialist country!!!!! OMG!!! Socialized medicine, beer and liquor stores. Even our lotteries are government run.

According to the Republicans, we should be revolting by now! Freedom!!!!
 
2013-09-09 05:24:10 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: But we are a socialist country!!!!! OMG!!! Socialized medicine, beer and liquor stores. Even our lotteries are government run.

According to the Republicans, we should be revolting by now! Freedom!!!!


I gotta say, Canada must be missing out on specialty beer stores.


/I don't want some bureaucrat picking out my beer selection!
//'Murica
 
2013-09-09 05:32:04 PM  
Subby, I like everything about you.
 
2013-09-09 05:32:28 PM  

dabbletech:


My EYES!
 
2013-09-09 05:33:19 PM  
On a typical Canadian weekend we go with our friend to be her moral support after an abortion, then to cheer her up we attend a gay marriage ceremony, during the reception we get drunk at a pub drinking Molson Canadian while watching Don Cherry make an ass out of himself on national tv. When the first game is over we head out to the Casino because who gives a fark about Vancouver Canucks. After we lose all of our money and clothes we pick a fight with a Michael Buble look alike and get sent to the drunk tank but not before we apologise for the umpteenth time for breaking his nose and jersying him while quacking.
In jail we do our best Bob & Doug impressions and pass out.
 
2013-09-09 05:34:06 PM  
skinink:
Shiatty economy/job market, constant reports coming out that your government spies on all citizens, country slowly changing into something not so great. Hard to be positive about the direction the U.S. is moving towards.

Without comparing to previous years' studies, you can't make that claim.
 
2013-09-09 05:37:54 PM  
Wow those northern Europeans are some happy farkers.
 
2013-09-09 05:40:39 PM  

Old enough to know better: Wow those northern Europeans are some happy farkers.


Scandinavians to be more specific... You would be too, have you seen the women there?
 
2013-09-09 05:41:26 PM  
1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. Switzerland
4. Netherlands
5. Sweden
6. Canada
7. Finland
8. Austria *
9. Iceland
10. Australia *

* They must be extremely happy to make the list twice.


I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.
 
2013-09-09 05:43:39 PM  

Sojianna: 1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. Switzerland
4. Netherlands
5. Sweden
6. Canada
7. Finland
8. Austria *
9. Iceland
10. Australia *

* They must be extremely happy to make the list twice.

I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.


Running gag.  Loooooooooong-distance running gag.
 
2013-09-09 05:45:09 PM  
The average was brought down yesterday by the entire population of Saskatchewan.

/tee hee
 
2013-09-09 05:46:26 PM  
Just realized the top 10 are all the countries that haven't been in a war or any sort of conflict since WWII, except for Canada.

/and someone digs up an obscure conflict to prove me wrong in, 3..2..
 
2013-09-09 05:48:05 PM  

skinink: "The United States ranked 17th in the report, trailing the United Arab Emirates, Panama and Mexico. "
Shiatty economy/job market, constant reports coming out that your government spies on all citizens, country slowly changing into something not so great. Hard to be positive about the direction the U.S. is moving towards.


Six posts in and America has to remind the farker community that it sucks worse than Canada.  I swear, we'll do anything to one-up another nation in a thread.  If it isn't pride over being #1, it's pride over sucking worse.
 
2013-09-09 05:51:28 PM  
There's some definite bias in this "survey".
 
2013-09-09 05:51:42 PM  
It's hard to be depressed when you're drunk 99% of the time.

/This country drinks.
//It drinks a lot.
 
2013-09-09 05:52:43 PM  

Dorf11: The average was brought down yesterday by the entire population of Saskatchewan.

/tee hee


Nah, that was balanced out by the rest of Canada that watches the CFL laughing their frickin' balls off.
 
2013-09-09 05:54:26 PM  

ontariolightning: On a typical Canadian weekend we go with our friend to be her moral support after an abortion, then to cheer her up we attend a gay marriage ceremony, during the reception we get drunk at a pub drinking Molson Canadian while watching Don Cherry make an ass out of himself on national tv. When the first game is over we head out to the Casino because who gives a fark about Vancouver Canucks. After we lose all of our money and clothes we pick a fight with a Michael Buble look alike and get sent to the drunk tank but not before we apologise for the umpteenth time for breaking his nose and jersying him while quacking.
In jail we do our best Bob & Doug impressions and pass the


That's a Monday for me ya lightweight.
 
2013-09-09 05:55:15 PM  

Sojianna: 1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. Switzerland
4. Netherlands
5. Sweden
6. Canada
7. Finland
8. Austria *
9. Iceland
10. Australia *

* They must be extremely happy to make the list twice.

I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.



Old joke and still funny as shiat.
 
2013-09-09 05:56:23 PM  
Well did YOU try to watch the jays this year?! Ugh
 
2013-09-09 05:57:04 PM  
Thanks Harper.
 
2013-09-09 05:57:22 PM  
Cold and drunk is the way to go through life, son.
 
2013-09-09 06:05:54 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Just realized the top 10 are all the countries that haven't been in a war or any sort of conflict since WWII, except for Canada.

/and someone digs up an obscure conflict to prove me wrong in, 3..2..


OK, I'll bite.

Australia:
Korea
Malaya
Vietnam
Timor
Iraq
Afghanistan

That's just off the top of my head - no disrespect to any of our forces involved in conflicts I've not remembered.
 
2013-09-09 06:07:10 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Just realized the top 10 are all the countries that haven't been in a war or any sort of conflict since WWII, except for Canada.

/and someone digs up an obscure conflict to prove me wrong in, 3..2..

Too lazy to look up all the details, but
Australia had troops in Korea and Vietnam.

Not sure about the anti terrorist campaigns in Malaysia.
Or the recent to do in the Gulf, Afghanistan and Iraq.

 
2013-09-09 06:14:26 PM  
Whole lotta socialism on that list. Just sayin.
 
2013-09-09 06:16:29 PM  

Sojianna: I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.


You have been a Farkette for 8 years.  There's Theirs* no excuse.  Your internet priviledges have been revoked.  Also, Please return your copy of Helen Keller's diary and your braille love-letter from Anne Frank.


/*Sorry, pet peeve.
 
2013-09-09 06:21:10 PM  

yumpizza: I gotta say, Canada must be missing out on specialty beer stores.


In BC there are private beer/wine stores as well as the government ones.
 
2013-09-09 06:29:24 PM  
We live next to the Lindsay Lohan of countries...and we're lead by the George W. Bush of the prairies...(only semi-intelligent, and therefore capable of much greater havoc.)

I'm flabbergasted that we got ranked that high.
 
2013-09-09 06:33:22 PM  

Ivo Shandor: yumpizza: I gotta say, Canada must be missing out on specialty beer stores.

In BC there are private beer/wine stores as well as the government ones.


And Alberta doesn't even bother with government-run stores; it's all private.

Granted, the prices in AB are farking terrible compared to those at the LCBO, so apparently monolithic government dinosaurs still have their advantages.
 
2013-09-09 06:38:52 PM  
Canada has nine months of good skiing and three months of bad sledding. I'd put their happiness down around 37. The fact that they don't have Texas lowers them even further to 63.
 
2013-09-09 07:01:19 PM  

Highroller48: Sojianna: I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.

You have been a Farkette for 8 years.  There's Theirs* no excuse.  Your internet priviledges have been revoked.  Also, Please return your copy of Helen Keller's diary and your braille love-letter from Anne Frank.


/*Sorry, pet peeve.




You sound fat with a love of redheads.
 
2013-09-09 07:17:14 PM  
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy Bob & Doug

Bob: All of the happiest countries in the world have a lot of snow, eh.

Doug: Why is that do you suppose?

Bob: Because the snow covers up the dogshiat for half the year.

Doug: Good one, eh!

Bob: I'll drink to that.

Lily Thomlin: And that's the troot. (sticks out tongue)

Bob: Did you say "trout"?

Lily: No, I said troot.


Another Canadian Socialist fairy tale by Brantgoose
 
2013-09-09 07:20:25 PM  
FTA:  "The United States ranked 17th in the report, trailing the United Arab Emirates, Panama and Mexico. "

Sand will also cover up dogshiat, but it's a lot harder to shovel than snow.

You've never seen a sand blower, have you? Nasty. Sand blasts your house every time there's a sand storm. That's why a lot of desert houses are built of stone or mud. The sand damage doesn' show.
 
2013-09-09 07:23:03 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Just realized the top 10 are all the countries that haven't been in a war or any sort of conflict since WWII, except for Canada.

/and someone digs up an obscure conflict to prove me wrong in, 3..2..


Iceland and the UK fought the Fish War.

Just kidding. It wasn't a shooting war, more of a fish-slapping dance.
 
2013-09-09 07:26:18 PM  
Sure are a lot of 'socialist libtard' countries in the top 10.
 
2013-09-09 07:38:26 PM  

KinetiKiteniK: Thanks Harper.


I blame Harper, for sure. But I also blame Obama, and here's why:

There are one million Americans and people with dual US-Canadian citizenship in Canada. They have to pay taxes in the US. Obama's healthcare tax therefore applies. And that's not even counting snowbirds who spend as much as a quarter of the year in the Sunny South.

Think about it. You're an American paying Canadian taxes and getting Canadian healthcare. Fair enough. But you are also paying American taxes and WTF are you getting for a giant bite of your doughnut? Nuthin. They takes your money (16% of it for public and private healthcare) and you gets the hole.

And it's about to get worse. Flaherty, the Canadian Finance Minister who looks like Whozit, the Broadway Queen, you know, the one who starred in The Producers, is close to reaching a deal on letting Canadian banks hand over the financial information of Americans and dual citizens to the IRS.

That's why Canadians just can't seem to kick Scandinavian ass in the Happiness Stakes. Poor Yankee friends and family, Obama and the IRS.

You're bringing us down America, just like the song says. Stop it!

And get out on your lawn and pick up that dogshiat. It's never going to get covered with snow. You live in Alabama, stupid.

Lyrics to Stop Bringing Me Down :

Far be it from me to tell you what to do
Can't take your constant reflection-self reflection of you.
Your own magnification, self gratification,
a gross exaggeration.
Leaving me dissuaded again.

(CHORUS)
You're bringing me down...Stop pulling me down.
Dragging, taking me, pulling and shaking me.
Screaming you're breaking me down, down, down.

Heard a little story from a fly on the wall.
Egoism is horrid & you're filled to the brow.
Better mind where you're steppin', (ALL THAT DOGSHIAT, I TELLS YAH!)
or you'll spend time reflectin'
on the rashness of your actions
with your ass on a stretcher (AND THEN YOU'LL REALLY PAY THROUGH THE NOSE)
[ These are http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
 
2013-09-09 07:41:16 PM  
Obama is just like the lamb in the Fable of the Wolf and the Lamb. The Republicans, naturally, are the wolf.

Here it is for those of you who haven't read the Fables of Aesop or Lafontaine:

Once upon a time a Wolf was lapping at a spring on a hillside, when, looking up, what should he see but a Lamb just beginning to drink a little lower down. "There's my supper," thought he, "if only I can find some excuse to seize it." Then he called out to the Lamb, "How dare you muddle the water from which I am drinking?"

"Nay, master, nay," said Lambikin; "if the water be muddy up there, I cannot be the cause of it, for it runs down from you to me."

"Well, then," said the Wolf, "why did you call me bad names this time last year?"

"That cannot be," said the Lamb; "I am only six months old."

"I don't care," snarled the Wolf; "if it was not you it was your father;" and with that he rushed upon the poor little Lamb and ate her all up. But before she died she gasped out:
Moral of Aesops Fable: "Any excuse will serve a tyrant."


In the Republican version, the lamb is the tyrant.
 
2013-09-09 07:41:41 PM  
That's because Canada is a top-heavy bureaucratic banana republic with corrupt provinces like Quebec and over-taxed grey dead shells of cities like Montreal in it.
I guess people are starting to wonder why we pay Scandinavian taxes but have American work conditions.
 
2013-09-09 07:53:54 PM  

Ivo Shandor: yumpizza: I gotta say, Canada must be missing out on specialty beer stores.

In BC there are private beer/wine stores as well as the government ones.


Yup.

None of them, however, have as nice a selection as the government liquor stores in St. John's, Newfoundland. I used to live across the road from the one on Merrymeeting Road next to the grocery store.
 
2013-09-09 08:08:42 PM  
These posts dismay me; so life up there isn't like The Last of the Mohicans?  'Cause THAT would be a manly farking lifestyle.


/Six hours from Montreal
//Never been there
 
2013-09-09 08:23:27 PM  
As fun as the east coast can be there's not jobs here right now. I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's a large contributing factor. Northern New Brunswick unemployment rate was 20.2% last time I checked.
 
2013-09-09 08:24:10 PM  

Sojianna: 1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. Switzerland
4. Netherlands
5. Sweden
6. Canada
7. Finland
8. Austria *
9. Iceland
10. Australia *

* They must be extremely happy to make the list twice.

I'm not sure if this is a joke or if you just can't read.

It's a Farkism,

//Welcome to Fark.....
 
2013-09-09 08:37:05 PM  

Highroller48: There's Theirs* no excuse.

/*Sorry, pet peeve.


??? There's is correct, Theirs is not ?? --> http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/there%27s.html
 
2013-09-09 08:45:20 PM  
Easy to be happy when people are not blaming you for everything. Even if you had nothing to do with it.
 
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