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(Daily Dot)   This is what happens when 173 pounds of professional athlete hurtles into 1/5 of a boyband   (dailydot.com) divider line 112
    More: Amusing, professional athletes, Harry Styles, Gabriel Agbonlahor  
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17169 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 1:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 12:54:32 PM  
The comments are priceless.
 
2013-09-09 01:01:24 PM  
And nothing of value was lost.
 
2013-09-09 01:35:50 PM  
does this mean I have to start liking soccer now?
 
2013-09-09 01:49:49 PM  
Wow, a whole 173 pounds.
 
2013-09-09 01:50:00 PM  
Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.
 
2013-09-09 01:50:18 PM  
A death threat from a fan of a boy band is like a... something else that's totally harmless and very very pathetic.
 
2013-09-09 01:50:23 PM  
FTFA: "
Tomlinson, who wore "1D" as his shirt number, dusted himself off, but limped off the field and vomited when he reached the sidelines."

That would be worth the price of admission.
 
2013-09-09 01:51:33 PM  
If you're going to be dumb you gotta be tough
 
2013-09-09 01:53:36 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: If you're going to be dumb you gotta be tough


His name wasn't sue...

/ son, this world is rough and if a man's gonna make it; he's got to be tough.
 
2013-09-09 01:53:48 PM  

iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.


Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

images.wisegeek.com
 
2013-09-09 01:54:44 PM  
Nothing more hilarious than a bunch of internet tough guys.
 
2013-09-09 01:54:54 PM  
Soccer players are "athletes" now?


/trolling self assesment: 2/10
 
2013-09-09 01:55:07 PM  
Can I get this soccer player's address? I would like to send him cash/prizes and mostly encourage him to take the shot again if he ever gets the chance.

/offended by shiat "music"
//off the lawn
 
2013-09-09 01:55:39 PM  
Lawn fairies
 
2013-09-09 01:56:12 PM  
i67.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-09 01:56:26 PM  

Perducci: A death threat from a fan of a boy band is like a... something else that's totally harmless and very very pathetic.


Careful.  The squeeing from an excited tween fangirl can liquefy internal organs.
 
2013-09-09 01:57:45 PM  
Where is the video of him blowing chunks?  I watched the whole thing waiting for that but left disappointed...
 
2013-09-09 01:58:40 PM  
Oh, soccer.

I thought you meant, like, an actual athlete...
 
2013-09-09 02:00:04 PM  
The way he went down and held his knee you'd swear he was a professional soccer player.
 
2013-09-09 02:00:45 PM  
Plan:

Step 1:  Buy military and police riot control related stocks.
Step 2:  Invite a bunch of boy band fans to a soccer stadium.
Step 3:  Invite a bunch of soccer hooligans to the same stadium at the same time.
Step 4:  Have a soccer player injure one of the members of the band (or vice versa, but I don't see that happening unless it's bleeding ears).
Step 5:  WWIII.
Step 6:  Profit!!!

(Step 3.5- optional- sell the television rights)
 
2013-09-09 02:01:46 PM  
Morning sickness
 
2013-09-09 02:01:53 PM  
Here's a fun idea. Take all the cops currently busy busting people for pot, and give them an important job investigating death threats on Twitter. It keeps the cops busy, relieves a big expense of locking up dopers, and terrifies tween brats all at once!
 
2013-09-09 02:02:32 PM  
He must sing soprano in the band.
 
2013-09-09 02:03:39 PM  
Until I saw a trailer at the theater for the movie, I thought "one direction" was a fake band the internet made up to cumulatively make fun of all boy bands ever. I thought it was a clever and amusing meme. Every time I'm reminded that's not true, I get sad.
 
2013-09-09 02:04:14 PM  

TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

[images.wisegeek.com image 850x554]


hearevil.com

I think you misunderstood their meaning.
 
2013-09-09 02:04:19 PM  
What I want to know is what asshole brought this boy band shiat back? I thought we buried that crap a decade ago.
 
2013-09-09 02:05:01 PM  

TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?


Ok, I should have been more specific. Give him an award for conspicuous gallantry or something.
 
2013-09-09 02:06:17 PM  

iheartscotch: TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

Ok, I should have been more specific. Give him an award for conspicuous gallantry or something.


Thats going right over your head isnt it?
 
2013-09-09 02:06:33 PM  

iheartscotch: TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

Ok, I should have been more specific. Give him an award for conspicuous gallantry or something.


Like a medal?
 
2013-09-09 02:07:03 PM  
That video does not make soccer look good.
 
2013-09-09 02:07:29 PM  

henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.


I weigh nearly exactly twice that - and I still consider myself athletic.

There are two or three midget players in the NFL (5'6-5'8) who weigh around 173 (and Brandon Banks is 5'6, 160, the smallest of the small) but It is hard to see "173" and "professional athlete" in the same sentence unless you are talking about women's gymnastics.
 
2013-09-09 02:07:52 PM  
Ambitwistor
Perducci:
A death threat from a fan of a boy band is like a... something else that's totally harmless and very very pathetic.

Careful. The squeeing from an excited tween fangirl can liquefy internal organs.


You can tell who is the tween heartthrob right at the start of the video: it looks like the ball is going his way and *SCREEEECH*
 
2013-09-09 02:11:05 PM  

ISO15693: henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.

I weigh nearly exactly twice that - and I still consider myself athletic.

There are two or three midget players in the NFL (5'6-5'8) who weigh around 173 (and Brandon Banks is 5'6, 160, the smallest of the small) but It is hard to see "173" and "professional athlete" in the same sentence unless you are talking about women's gymnastics.


I think your perspective of what professional athletes weigh is a bit off.
 
2013-09-09 02:11:10 PM  

tetsoushima: TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

[images.wisegeek.com image 850x554]

[hearevil.com image 850x889]

I think you misunderstood their meaning.


At first glance I thought the logo in the bottom left said "Anus Dust."

Not exactly sure what that means...
 
2013-09-09 02:11:20 PM  
Best Tackle Ever.
 
2013-09-09 02:13:45 PM  
My daughter is a "directioner".   She's 13, so I guess it is somewhat "appropriate".

I give her a hard time about "Do they play their own instruments?  Do they write their own music?  Do they jam on stage or does it just sound and look like they are lip synch'in with their studio albums?"

Fortunately, she likes a lot of my music - Led Zepplin, the Dead, Jethro Tull, etc. as well as some classical (Ravel's Bolero is one of her favorites).
 
2013-09-09 02:18:03 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Nothing more hilarious than a bunch of internet tough guys.


You mean girls.
 
2013-09-09 02:18:49 PM  

henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.


Guess his weight:

cdn.cnwimg.com

I know you Americans have a skewed vision of what is an athlete with your Homosexual Armored Wankball and all, come on...
 
2013-09-09 02:19:25 PM  
Crappy choice of white font on the headline.

And the video is now private so I don't get to see the little guy get whomped :(
 
2013-09-09 02:19:47 PM  

i.r.id10t: My daughter is a "directioner".   She's 13, so I guess it is somewhat "appropriate".

I give her a hard time about "Do they play their own instruments?  Do they write their own music?  Do they jam on stage or does it just sound and look like they are lip synch'in with their studio albums?"

Fortunately, she likes a lot of my music - Led Zepplin, the Dead, Jethro Tull, etc. as well as some classical (Ravel's Bolero is one of her favorites).


My 12 year old is the same.  Except that I can't vouch for her liking ANY music outside of that bubblegum pop crap that is all over the radio.  I will have to tell her this story tonight just to see her reaction.
 
2013-09-09 02:20:28 PM  
This must be the first time I ever praised a Aston Villa player. Congratulations. How about we make it 5/5.
 
2013-09-09 02:20:51 PM  
So, why was this pop star playing football?  Was this a publicity stunt of some sort?
 
2013-09-09 02:21:57 PM  

spacemanjones: iheartscotch: TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

Ok, I should have been more specific. Give him an award for conspicuous gallantry or something.

Thats going right over your head isnt it?


No, I see it; I just don't care.
 
2013-09-09 02:22:44 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.

Guess his weight:

[cdn.cnwimg.com image 706x390]

I know you Americans have a skewed vision of what is an athlete with your Homosexual Armored Wankball and all, come on...


Oh look, the guy with the cat is trying insult people by them homosexuals.  How cute.

And did you really try to imply American is football is gay by juxtaposing it with a shirtless guy who competes in a sport where two guys dry hump each other for fifteen minutes?

I don't really think you thought this through.

/Love both sports.
 
2013-09-09 02:23:14 PM  

ISO15693: henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.

I weigh nearly exactly twice that - and I still consider myself athletic.

There are two or three midget players in the NFL (5'6-5'8) who weigh around 173 (and Brandon Banks is 5'6, 160, the smallest of the small) but It is hard to see "173" and "professional athlete" in the same sentence unless you are talking about women's gymnastics.


That would be one tubby female gymnast. I'm a 5'10" female and at 150 I could stand to lose a few lb...nowhere near gymnast thin.

I find it difficult to imagine many 350 lb "athletes" in the world. I know there are a few NFL players in that weight range but it's still not average. American football is one of the few sports where increasing size can be an advantage. Theres also shotput, some martial arts, and a few winter sledding sports where gravity is your friend. I'm sure I'm missing a few but I'd like to see uber-large "athletes" competing in running sports or sports where you hve to get airbound. Yakkity sax would make it even more enjoyable.
 
2013-09-09 02:24:39 PM  

jadeblue: iheartscotch: TNel: iheartscotch: Give that man a metal; a big damn metal! It was a legit tackle; it's not his fault that boy toy could really play a sissy game, like soccer.

Ok but what the hell is he going to do with it?

Ok, I should have been more specific. Give him an award for conspicuous gallantry or something.

Like a medal?


It's that damned autocorrect. It gets you every time. I find myself caring less and less. Does that make me a bad person?
 
2013-09-09 02:25:31 PM  
i.imgur.com
Gooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!
 
2013-09-09 02:27:48 PM  
Ok, this looks like too much fun. I've got to start trolling some one direction fans if they get this freaked out.
 
2013-09-09 02:29:00 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: henryhill: Wow, a whole 173 pounds.

Guess his weight:

[cdn.cnwimg.com image 706x390]

I know you Americans have a skewed vision of what is an athlete with your Homosexual Armored Wankball and all, come on...


Damn, that's funny so... I had to look it up Armored Wankball so funny it's true.
 
2013-09-09 02:29:06 PM  

FLMountainMan: Oh look, the guy with the cat is trying insult people by them homosexuals. How cute.


OOoohh, the "mountain man"! How butch!

FLMountainMan: And did you really try to imply American is football is gay by juxtaposing it with a shirtless guy who competes in a sport where two guys dry hump each other for fifteen minutes?

I don't really think you thought this through.

/Love both sports.


So? They can be both gay, but only one stretches out its homosexuality for hours while wearing Lycra.
 
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