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(CNN)   90% of airline passengers would give up most amenities, working bathrooms to have onboard wi-fi. The other 10% fly Ryanair and have no idea there are such things as amenities and working bathrooms   (tech.fortune.cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, airline passengers, Ryanair, Wi-Fi, airlines, Honeywell, bathrooms  
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396 clicks; posted to Business » on 09 Sep 2013 at 9:56 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-09 08:04:45 AM  
Charge $10 to use the bathrooms, but keep the wifi free.

/ Just charge significantly more than $10 if people poop their pants.  Discourage risk-taking.
 
2013-09-09 08:18:01 AM  
I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...
 
2013-09-09 08:19:05 AM  
I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B
 
2013-09-09 08:25:07 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B


I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.
 
2013-09-09 08:26:06 AM  
Just saw a commercial this weekend for a new no-frills airline that was making fun of airlines that gave away free soda on the plane. "Hey, you know that drink isn't free, it's part of the ticket you're paying for actually. On our shiatty airline, you can CHOOSE to buy a drink instead"  Yeah, I know that. I also know the HUGE difference in me getting free soda for maybe 20 cents more for my ticket since the airline can buy in bulk and me paying $2-$4 for a can of Coke on your plane because I can't bring a can of soda through security.

I hope they fail so bad.
 
2013-09-09 08:27:56 AM  
Here's the airline, Allegiant Air.  Fark them.
 
2013-09-09 08:30:46 AM  

serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.


He could sell the empty space.
 
2013-09-09 08:34:41 AM  
I got a flight home a couple of days ago with Norwegian air, the cheapest flight available, I have no idea what they were doing operating a line between Ibiza and London, but there you go... I was afraid it might be made of paper, but it had TV's, Wi-Fi, and toilets. Everything worked a charm, and there were no fiery explosions killing everyone on board... and no children. So clearly it can be done easily, and without cutting other amenities or increasing costs.
 
2013-09-09 08:52:43 AM  

Slaxl: I got a flight home a couple of days ago with Norwegian air, the cheapest flight available, I have no idea what they were doing operating a line between Ibiza and London, but there you go... I was afraid it might be made of paper, but it had TV's, Wi-Fi, and toilets. Everything worked a charm, and there were no fiery explosions killing everyone on board... and no children. So clearly it can be done easily, and without cutting other amenities or increasing costs.


Look, this is a capitalist society we live in, pal. Cutting service and increasing costs is the name of the game, so why don't you get with the program and go tell your Norwegian Air to keep its socialism in Scandinavia.
 
2013-09-09 10:20:34 AM  

serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.


How does this sound, the airlines have a box for each passenger that is picked up at the gate and fits perfectly into tracks on the overhead bin. You have to be able to fit your belongings into that box because that's the only space you'll get.
 
2013-09-09 10:20:53 AM  
IMX, 90 percent of airline passengers are morons, so this sounds about right.
 
2013-09-09 10:22:43 AM  

Slaxl: I got a flight home a couple of days ago with Norwegian air, the cheapest flight available, I have no idea what they were doing operating a line between Ibiza and London, but there you go... I was afraid it might be made of paper, but it had TV's, Wi-Fi, and toilets. Everything worked a charm, and there were no fiery explosions killing everyone on board... and no children. So clearly it can be done easily, and without cutting other amenities or increasing costs.


You're not accounting for the unique level of farkwittage that is the US airline industry. Why don't you believe in American Exceptionalism. If you want functioning modern airlines with good service why don't you go to some lib paradise like Singapore or Hong Kong.
 
2013-09-09 10:31:12 AM  

Chabash: serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.

How does this sound, the airlines have a box for each passenger that is picked up at the gate and fits perfectly into tracks on the overhead bin. You have to be able to fit your belongings into that box because that's the only space you'll get.


That's brilliant.  The boxes could be handed off to the stewardesses as you board, and they just put them on some machine that sorts and sticks them in their correct slots automatically.  When the plane lands, all the boxes slide out and are distributed inside the terminal a la gate checked bags.  No more waiting around for that one guy to try and cram his big bag into the space that's clearly too small for it, no more waiting for him to try and pull the bag out of there during departure.
Since the boxes would sort by seat, people would still have access to them during the flight if needed.
 
2013-09-09 10:37:56 AM  
I'm always too afraid that the guy in front of me will push his seat back and crunch my laptop.
 
2013-09-09 10:41:49 AM  

serial_crusher: Chabash: serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.

How does this sound, the airlines have a box for each passenger that is picked up at the gate and fits perfectly into tracks on the overhead bin. You have to be able to fit your belongings into that box because that's the only space you'll get.

That's brilliant.  The boxes could be handed off to the stewardesses as you board, and they just put them on some machine that sorts and sticks them in their correct slots automatically.  When the plane lands, all the boxes slide out and are distributed inside the terminal a la gate checked bags.  No more waiting around for that one guy to try and cram his big bag into the space that's clearly too small for it, no more waiting for him to try and pull the bag out of there during departure.
Since the boxes would sort by seat, people would still have access to them during the flight if needed.


Pfft.  For any flight over 4 hours, I'd be happy with lying in a coffin, loading my luggage in a compartment underneath, and being knocked out by gas or electric-REM generation ("Russian sleep").  Load us all in racks in a FedEx plane, replace the stews with 1 anesthesiology nurse, and wake me when we get there.
 
2013-09-09 10:42:01 AM  

serial_crusher: Chabash: serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.

How does this sound, the airlines have a box for each passenger that is picked up at the gate and fits perfectly into tracks on the overhead bin. You have to be able to fit your belongings into that box because that's the only space you'll get.

That's brilliant.  The boxes could be handed off to the stewardesses as you board, and they just put them on some machine that sorts and sticks them in their correct slots automatically.  When the plane lands, all the boxes slide out and are distributed inside the terminal a la gate checked bags.  No more waiting around for that one guy to try and cram his big bag into the space that's clearly too small for it, no more waiting for him to try and pull the bag out of there during departure.
Since the boxes would sort by seat, people would still have access to them during the flight if needed.


Do you want to pay for that?
 
2013-09-09 11:21:33 AM  
A quarter of passengers would give up a full six inches of legroom in exchange for the best Wi-Fi service possible.

So a quarter of passesngers travel only in first class or don't know how large and inch really is.
 
2013-09-09 11:22:44 AM  

FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...


Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.
 
2013-09-09 11:41:24 AM  

Lt_Ryan: FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...

Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.


You should be using the bathroom once every 60-90 minutes or so, longer than that and you're in the first stages of dehydration.
 
2013-09-09 11:42:05 AM  
A survey conducted earlier this summer by technology giant Honeywell's (HON) Aerospace division

Sounds legit to me....
 
2013-09-09 12:02:02 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Lt_Ryan: FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...

Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.

You should be using the bathroom once every 60-90 minutes or so, longer than that and you're in the first stages of dehydration.


Do you get up 6 times in the middle of the night to piss?
 
2013-09-09 12:10:47 PM  

Lt_Ryan: FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...

Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.


During my drinking days, you have no idea how good that little tone sounded when you could finally use the bathroom.
 
2013-09-09 12:23:29 PM  

FrancoFile: ReapTheChaos: Lt_Ryan: FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...

Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.

You should be using the bathroom once every 60-90 minutes or so, longer than that and you're in the first stages of dehydration.

Do you get up 6 times in the middle of the night to piss?


No but that's different. Your body is capable of holding it much longer while you sleep, that's why your morning piss usually takes considerably longer than one you take in the middle of the day.
 
2013-09-09 12:42:19 PM  

serial_crusher: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'll pay an extra $100 if the flight crew tases the guy whose ticket is 25F but drops the refrigerator box he uses as a carry-on above 2B

I've always thought the should physically subdivide the overhead compartments per seat.  Give everybody an exact size amount that's clearly specified.  If your armoire doesn't fit , too farking bad, you pay $100 to gate check it.  The guy traveling light is going to leave an empty space, but whoopitty doo.


You are thinking things too much, do what the low cost airlines do in Europe. You are only allowed one piece of carry on luggage and it must fit into the basket by check in. If it doesn't that's £/€30+ to check it in to the hold or leave it behind. Problem solved.

/all authorised carry on has to have a tag
//no tag and you don't get to bring it on the plane
 
2013-09-09 12:51:11 PM  
I would not want to be on a flight of any length without access to a bathroom.  Most of the flying I've done in the past 5~ years has been on flights that are less than 6 hours long.  I can't remember ever using the plane bathroom on those trips.  That said, the idea of not  having access to a bathroom should I need it is not very comforting.

And that doesn't even address the issue of the other filthy animals on the plane.  I certainly don't want to sit next to Mr. shiat-britches for any duration of time.
 
2013-09-09 12:54:43 PM  
I've said it before - allow the first checked bag for free and charge for a carryon that can't fit under your seat. It will speed up passenger boarding times fairly significantly (I'd say 5-7 minutes per turnaround) and the baggage hold is loaded simultaneously with passenger boarding. Business travelers will pay the fee for the convenience of running out of the airport on landing, the leisure traveler can pack a little more for vacation and check their bag.
 
2013-09-09 01:42:53 PM  

stpauler: Yeah, I know that. I also know the HUGE difference in me getting free soda for maybe 20 cents more for my ticket since the airline can buy in bulk and me paying $2-$4 for a can of Coke on your plane because I can't bring a can of soda through security.


I saw a documentary about the business practices on board American Airlines and a fuel analytics expert said that it costs them between $10-15 in fuel to fly a can of soda cross-country.  They saved something like $60M/yr by removing old magazines from the airplanes because each flight had something like 100lbs of magazines on board and so they trimmed it to the quarterly airline mag, sky mall, the security card an the barf bag.
 
2013-09-09 02:09:11 PM  

wingnut396: A quarter of passengers would give up a full six inches of legroom in exchange for the best Wi-Fi service possible.

So a quarter of passesngers travel only in first class or don't know how large and inch really is.


That or the survey is jacked.
 
rka
2013-09-09 02:13:01 PM  

serial_crusher: That's brilliant.  The boxes could be handed off to the stewardesses as you board, and they just put them on some machine that sorts and sticks them in their correct slots automatically.  When the plane lands, all the boxes slide out and are distributed inside the terminal a la gate checked bags.


Why not just eliminate roller board bags on the plane altogether?  Checked bags for everything except your laptop and/or purse.

I've been on plenty of small planes where the overhead is just big enough for my laptop. No roller board would ever fit. No massive backpacks like the bros try to get on. Everyone has to check their bags either at the ticket counter or at the gate.

Just eliminate the problem entirely. No need to get a massively complex conveyor system.

Oh, and I don't need WIFI. While I'm not one of those people tied to my phone/email in the first place, its nice to be able to tell people that you are definitely out of instant communication coverage for a spell. For some it's about the only way they get the message.
 
2013-09-09 02:13:56 PM  

o5iiawah: stpauler: Yeah, I know that. I also know the HUGE difference in me getting free soda for maybe 20 cents more for my ticket since the airline can buy in bulk and me paying $2-$4 for a can of Coke on your plane because I can't bring a can of soda through security.

I saw a documentary about the business practices on board American Airlines and a fuel analytics expert said that it costs them between $10-15 in fuel to fly a can of soda cross-country.  They saved something like $60M/yr by removing old magazines from the airplanes because each flight had something like 100lbs of magazines on board and so they trimmed it to the quarterly airline mag, sky mall, the security card an the barf bag.


I'm going to have to call bullshiat on that that. A can of pop is such an infinitessmly small fraction of a full plane's weight that's it's practically meaningless.

If it were the case, you'd see airlines offering discounts/cash back for emptying your bladder before takeoff.
 
2013-09-09 02:46:55 PM  

Lt_Ryan: How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.


If you've had a lot of beers in an airport bar you tend to have to piss a lot.
 
2013-09-09 02:47:52 PM  
Wi-Fi on planes tends to be close to useless from my experience. There is always some idiot trying to stream video who eats up all the bandwidth.
 
2013-09-09 03:02:04 PM  

lilplatinum: Lt_Ryan: How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.

If you've had a lot of beers in an airport bar you tend to have to piss a lot.


2 hour flight to denver, 45 minute layover, 3 hour flight to next destination.  Great, got it all planned out.
Original flight leaves 40 minutes late, lands in terminal C and my next flight is in terminal A.  FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU
 
2013-09-09 03:06:39 PM  
Good grief. You people can't go 2 hours without an internet connection?? Seek help. I rarely, if ever, use the toilet on an airplane, but I sure as hell want it there just in case. Explosive diarrhea waits for no man, and travelling and consuming strange food and drink is an excellent way to get a surprise case of the squirts.
 
2013-09-09 03:45:47 PM  
If you get the DT's from not being connected for a couple hours seek help. All I need on a plane is a nice book, maybe some decent company next to me that isnt too fat so they wont spill over into my seat and no crotch goblin kicking my seat.
 
2013-09-09 04:38:23 PM  
Good lord it's only a few hours read a goddam book.  Or listen to your mp3 player.  Or watch a DVD.  Or speak to your neighbor.  Or sleep.  Or join the mile high club.
 
2013-09-09 05:09:34 PM  

Nexzus: A can of pop is such an infinitessmly small fraction of a full plane's weight that's it's practically meaningless.


I'm not sure what pop is, but I was referring to Soda.
 
2013-09-09 05:10:31 PM  
Free wi-fi?

No thanks, it is barely usable already.  So slow.
 
2013-09-09 05:26:22 PM  
A quarter of passengers would give up a full six inches of legroom in exchange for the best Wi-Fi service possible.

Wow! I wasn't aware that that many people had no legs!

I'd give up most amenities for 6 more inches of leg room.

/got moved to stretch seating once recently (5 extra inches). You no longer hate the person in front of you for reclining
/you also don't need to use their seat back to get up because they are not in your lap, and you have space to stand upright.
 
2013-09-09 06:00:49 PM  

o5iiawah: Nexzus: A can of pop is such an infinitessmly small fraction of a full plane's weight that's it's practically meaningless.

I'm not sure what pop is, but I was referring to Soda.


Why do you need soda on a plane? Are you planning to bake something?
 
2013-09-09 07:57:39 PM  

rka: Why not just eliminate roller board bags on the plane altogether?


Because checked baggage has a tendency to be lost, looted, or smashed. Fix those problems first and then we'll talk.

The best option would be (as suggested earlier) to mark out slots in the overhead bins for each seat number. I assume that doesn't work because there's not enough space to give every seat a slot, but fark them. Take out a few rows of seats so I can have some farking legroom, or offer a discount to anyone who chooses to fly in one of the 'no overhead bin' seats.

And WiFi would be nice but I can easily live without it. My phone holds more than enough podcasts, e-books, games, etc. to keep me entertained on any flight that's short enough to not require mid-air refueling.
 
2013-09-10 12:33:17 AM  

Lt_Ryan: FrancoFile: I could fly for 2 hours without using a bathroom.  But I don't think I want to be on a plane where nobody has access to a bathroom...

Same here, well over 95% of my miles have come from flights under 2.5 hours. How people can't go that long between using the bathroom is beyond me. How people rush to it when the seatbelt light goes off is the odd part, do those people just hold it in order to use a tiny awkward bathroom.


I don't get this either.  Of course I intentionally don't drink much before I get on a plane as to not have to pee mid-flight.  The worst offenders of this are in first class though because everyone gets sloshed on the free drinks.  I always refuse so I don't have to pee, but I will see people knock back 4-5 glasses of wine or rum and cokes on average on a domestic flight.  I just like getting in my window seat and not moving.
 
2013-09-10 08:00:33 AM  
I think I may have used a bathroom on a jet maybe once on a flight to San Francisco from Cleveland. These days, most of my flights are from some Florida airport to Charlotte, then to Cleveland, Chicago, Austin or Newark, so I can go before boarding and be just fine, until arrival.
 
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