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(The Coloradoan)   Megachurch plans to buy strip club and convert it into a church. That's the joke   (coloradoan.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Fort Collins, Timberline  
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3173 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2013 at 1:41 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-09-09 01:42:58 AM  
What ever happened to the farkette who worked as a stripper? In threads like this, i miss her
 
2013-09-09 01:43:40 AM  
i728.photobucket.com
 
2013-09-09 01:44:31 AM  

OOBE Juan Kenobi: [i728.photobucket.com image 372x469]


She's probably got that 70's bush going....1870's that is.
 
2013-09-09 01:46:09 AM  
The same people will attend, it will just cost them more now.

/Church person
 
2013-09-09 01:46:57 AM  
"But it came up pretty quick," he said.

That's what she said.

"Everyone was kind of blindsided," said topless dancer Ashley Trent, 21, of Fort Collins who started at the club as a 19-year-old in need of quick cash but soon became part of the "mini family" of bartenders, DJs, bouncers, dancers and regulars.

Out of the goodness of my heart, I will step forward to offer a home to all those poor, unfortunate strippers who have just lost their jobs.
 
2013-09-09 01:47:22 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: OOBE Juan Kenobi: [i728.photobucket.com image 372x469]

She's probably got that 70's bush going....1870's that is.


Day 5: I have been lost of days in the sweltering smelly jungle. While it is a torment, the crab-beasts provide much needed sustenance.
 
2013-09-09 01:57:10 AM  

HotWingAgenda: "But it came up pretty quick," he said.

That's what she said.

"Everyone was kind of blindsided," said topless dancer Ashley Trent, 21, of Fort Collins who started at the club as a 19-year-old in need of quick cash but soon became part of the "mini family" of bartenders, DJs, bouncers, dancers and regulars.

Out of the goodness of my heart, I will step forward to offer a home to all those poor, unfortunate strippers who have just lost their jobs.


t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-09-09 01:59:14 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Out of the goodness of my heart, I will step forward to offer a home to all those poor, unfortunate strippers who have just lost their jobs.


What an excellent way to keep drama and insanity out of your life.
 
2013-09-09 02:01:04 AM  
I can see the correlation.

Both places involve giving money to people who put on a show and both places pretend to like you until you won't give them more money.
 
2013-09-09 02:03:21 AM  
I've come closer to god in a strip club than in any church.
 
2013-09-09 02:06:01 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: OOBE Juan Kenobi: [i728.photobucket.com image 372x469]

She's probably got that 70's bush going....1870's that is.


That's not a robe, at least not one made of the usual cloth.
 
2013-09-09 02:06:33 AM  

Cheater71: What ever happened to the farkette who worked as a stripper? In threads like this, i miss her


GrablesDaughter?
 
2013-09-09 02:09:24 AM  
another sign that these "Mega Churches" have to much damn money

buying up land zoned for Strip clubs (not cheap) then, making it lose its Zoning turning it in to a church

think about how many of the poor and hungry that 100k+ they are spending on this little project could have fed
 
2013-09-09 02:13:57 AM  

Gordon Bennett: HotWingAgenda: Out of the goodness of my heart, I will step forward to offer a home to all those poor, unfortunate strippers who have just lost their jobs.

What an excellent way to keep drama and insanity out of your life.


I learned several decades ago that it is not possible to actually keep drama nor insanity out of my life. The best I can do is make a choice as to which drama and insanity I prefer.
 
2013-09-09 02:16:14 AM  
In Denver, someone did the opposite and turned a church into a nightclub. Of course it was a Catholic church - a megachurch would make a crap nightclub.
 
2013-09-09 02:16:20 AM  

randomjsa: I can see the correlation.

Both places involve giving money to people who put on a show and both places pretend to like you until you won't give them more money.


Though I think church is a little worse, they promise a "free gift" of salvation, yet neglect to inform you of the 10 % of your income you will be requested to give to your megachurch from now on after the membership baptism ceremony (at least with a strip club, when they lure you in, they don't guilt trip you into giving a large chunk of your money up). Also, they often use devious tactics to try to make you into a Christian, you won't see a strip club create a haunted house that says the only way you can escape it's horrors by letting them do a lap dance on you (though it would calm me down from horror) or have a stripper pretend to be a librarian... ok, bad example.
 
2013-09-09 02:16:20 AM  
I've seen this happen pretty successfully with a Mosque actually. They bought out a strip joint, cleaned out the place, added a couple of more stories, and now finishing up last bits of stuff to open. Not as big as a mega church, but a decent sized 3 story building in Queens, New York.
 
2013-09-09 02:16:50 AM  
If that is the only strip club for miles then I propose

BUSINESS PLAN
1. Start new strip club
2. Make money.
3. Sell club to church
4. PROFIT
5. repeat.
 
2013-09-09 02:17:14 AM  
Phwwwooarr! Get ya tithes out for the Lord, Britney-Jane.
 
2013-09-09 02:22:20 AM  

thenumber5: think about how many of the poor and hungry that 100k+ they are spending on this little project could have fed


This is a megachurch we're talking about here. Since when do they give two tugs of a dead dog's cock about the poor?
 
2013-09-09 02:31:30 AM  

thenumber5: another sign that these "Mega Churches" have to much damn money

buying up land zoned for Strip clubs (not cheap) then, making it lose its Zoning turning it in to a church

think about how many of the poor and hungry that 100k+ they are spending on this little project could have fed


Forcing morals on others takes precedence.
 
2013-09-09 02:34:45 AM  
It will be a happy day when this scheme is worked the other way around..
 
2013-09-09 02:37:12 AM  
Big bummer for those who work there- I used to work at the Book Ranch and so naturally became good friends with a lot of the staff and dancers over at the Hunt Club.  Used to give them discounts on stripper shoes.  It's a shame because there's really nowhere else nearby to go and dance.  I think the Clown's Den is still open in Wyoming, and then there are of course places in the Denver metro area, but that's a hell of a commute for a g-string full of singles.

It will be interesting to see if Timberline Church (a true abomination of a megachurch) carries over this little crusade to the Book Ranch.  It was (and no doubt still is) a far bigger hive of degenerate filth than the Hunt Club could ever hope to be.  I ain't ever heard of someone having to have a corpse with a needle in its arm and a vibrating egg up its ass removed from the shiatstained backrooms of the Hunt Club.
 
2013-09-09 02:38:09 AM  

AliceBToklasLives: In Denver, someone did the opposite and turned a church into a nightclub. Of course it was a Catholic church - a megachurch would make a crap nightclub.


This place was famous for being a converted church turned into a nightclub.

www.limelightny.com
I got to see my first ever Goth concert there back in 2001 when London After Midnight (with the original members, now it's just Sean and some different guys) came to play. Sadly it has now turned into an upscale shopping mall (not even a group of pictures to what it used to look like inside).

I am hoping though to turn this building into my own Goth venue in Asbury Park, but of course I need money to back up this fantasy! :-P

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-09-09 02:38:52 AM  
Also, I had my bachelor's part there.  It was gross but I sold a lot of shoes that night.
 
2013-09-09 02:41:13 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: AliceBToklasLives: In Denver, someone did the opposite and turned a church into a nightclub. Of course it was a Catholic church - a megachurch would make a crap nightclub.

This place was famous for being a converted church turned into a nightclub.

[www.limelightny.com image 800x533]
I got to see my first ever Goth concert there back in 2001 when London After Midnight (with the original members, now it's just Sean and some different guys) came to play. Sadly it has now turned into an upscale shopping mall (not even a group of pictures to what it used to look like inside).



My mom and stepdad got married there just a few months before it became The Church, and its steep stairway is inadvertently the reason I met my wife.  =)
 
2013-09-09 02:42:03 AM  
The Hunt Club. Started by Mike Hunt?
 
2013-09-09 02:45:10 AM  
Poor hard working folks out of work so another house of BS can be built.  Oh well, I find it heartening that so many of the comments on the article are slams against religious tax exemptions.  Maybe one day those fraud peddlers will be forced to at least pay their share of the upkeep in this country.
 
2013-09-09 02:54:54 AM  
I can see the Pastor screaming, " I said we need more tithes!"
 
2013-09-09 02:59:15 AM  
It would be fun to put some folded up 1s and 5s into the clothing of the pastor as he is shaking hands and greeting worshipers at the end of service.
 
2013-09-09 02:59:18 AM  

thenumber5: another sign that these "Mega Churches" have to much damn money

buying up land zoned for Strip clubs (not cheap) then, making it lose its Zoning turning it in to a church

think about how many of the poor and hungry that 100k+ they are spending on this little project could have fed


And I bet they don't even turn it into a church. They'll wait a few years until the strip club is long gone and lease the minimall property themselves. It's pretty farked up and it's gonna spread to other wealthy megachurches.
 
2013-09-09 03:01:07 AM  

radarlove: My mom and stepdad got married there just a few months before it became The Church, and its steep stairway is inadvertently the reason I met my wife. =)


I am curious to hear the story behind that. :) Though I am glad I see it's being used properly, Goth night listed for today (technically yesterday on Sunday, though I am not sure when last call is in Colorado. Newark, NJ has theirs at 2 AM, though the only Goth club there stays open till about 2:30 to 3 AM) which makes me wish I lived closer to cities which actually seem to appreciate the Goths. It seems NYC and Philly both have clubs that leave that element out except in sporadic instances, the only consistently weekly Goth club in or around NYC is the one in Newark (and that one is both Friday and Saturday, though still not much due to how the owners treat it).
 
2013-09-09 03:05:23 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: radarlove: My mom and stepdad got married there just a few months before it became The Church, and its steep stairway is inadvertently the reason I met my wife. =)

I am curious to hear the story behind that. :)


I'm sure it has something to do with him selling womens' shoes.
 
2013-09-09 03:25:10 AM  

spill_thrill: thenumber5: another sign that these "Mega Churches" have to much damn money

buying up land zoned for Strip clubs (not cheap) then, making it lose its Zoning turning it in to a church

think about how many of the poor and hungry that 100k+ they are spending on this little project could have fed

And I bet they don't even turn it into a church. They'll wait a few years until the strip club is long gone and lease the minimall property themselves. It's pretty farked up and it's gonna spread to other wealthy megachurches.


They'll come for your internets next, that's another prime location for us sluts.

/pays her taxes
 
2013-09-09 03:27:25 AM  
This must have been a strip bar for dykes.  Those women were ugly as sin.  I take it the customers paid them to keep their clothes on.
 
2013-09-09 03:29:58 AM  
I hope the have alot of holy water.
 
2013-09-09 03:33:26 AM  

randomjsa: I can see the correlation.

Both places involve giving money to people who put on a show and both places pretend to like you until you won't give them more money.


And sometime, sometimes they tell everyone not to let you in again.

I was excommunicated for not paying my fees... er "tithes" every week. Churches are nothing but a business.
 
2013-09-09 03:33:51 AM  
i123.photobucket.com

THE GLORYHOLE. SUCH AN ELEGANT CONCEPT! A SIMPLE HOLE, DEDICATED TO HIS GLORY!

images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Well, it IS a hole, and his name may have came up a time or two...
 
2013-09-09 03:34:25 AM  

EmmaLou: I was excommunicated for not paying my fees... er "tithes" every week. Churches are nothing but a business.


Mormon or JW? :( And yeah, they are.
 
2013-09-09 03:35:27 AM  

Lady Indica: They'll come for your internets next, that's another prime location for us sluts.

/pays her taxes


The Christian Taliban will stop at nothing until they turn this country into a Christian led (take your pick at which sect it will be) Handmaid's Tale-like country.
 
2013-09-09 03:35:48 AM  
While I'm not particularly against churches buying up properties like this and turning them into places of worship, I am vehemently against so-called "mega-churches" which water down the primary dogma of Christianity and turn it into an all-are-welcome, feel-good gathering spot where the money collected goes to the gradual accumulation of property and the development of gigantic monuments to their own hubris. When the preacher lives like a Fortune 500 CEO, that's not a church anymore. It's a vile den of hypocrisy.

Better a den of sin and debauchery stays open honestly than to be replaced by a blasphemous Mammon-serving "mega-church" take its place.
 
2013-09-09 03:39:56 AM  
Eh... the city I live in bought out a strip club downtown and turned it into a museum.

It can be an effective way to clean up shady areas.
 
2013-09-09 03:43:30 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: I am curious to hear the story behind that. :)


Wife and a friend of mine were there, and said friend fell down the stairs, breaking her leg.  They went to the hospital to get it casted up, causing them to miss a previously scheduled post-clubbing engagement.  Seeing nothing else to do, my friend suggests giving me a call to "hang out".  We meet for the first time and then the three of us fark for two days straight (yes even the girl with the broken leg..drugs is a hell of a cocaine).  Friend starts getting really pushy and militant about polyamory.  It backfires.  We tell her it's been fun and wish her well.  Got married exactly one year later.  Celebrated five years in July.  =)

HotWingAgenda: I'm sure it has something to do with him selling womens' shoes.


Newp, no shoes involved.  And I sold stripper shoes-  boys wears 'em too.
 
2013-09-09 03:46:37 AM  
Executive Pastor Rob Cowles said Timberline is in the process of purchasing the building at 400 S. Link Lane. There's no contract and no set timeline moving forward, he said Sunday morning

Whaddya wanna bet they don't actually buy the property, perfectly happy to see the operator screw up their business and unable to reopen.
 
2013-09-09 03:49:04 AM  

GWSuperfan: Eh... the city I live in bought out a strip club downtown and turned it into a museum.

It can be an effective way to clean up shady areas.


The strip club in question is located in Fort Collins' industrial area, but has some pretty big name next-door neighbors like New Belgium and Odells.  I'm sure they'll be quite happy.
 
2013-09-09 03:50:45 AM  
So, the head pastor got caught at the strip club, and had to ad lib this plan to buy it to turn it into another church?

Pretty good thinking on your feet. I figured he would have used the "I only went in to get directions on how to get back on the interstate" spiel.

Good luck with your new tithy bar, Rev.
 
2013-09-09 04:15:06 AM  

Lady Indica: EmmaLou: I was excommunicated for not paying my fees... er "tithes" every week. Churches are nothing but a business.

Mormon or JW? :( And yeah, they are.


Neither..WELS Lutheran
 
2013-09-09 04:28:00 AM  
it was worth more to society as a strip club.
 
2013-09-09 04:35:33 AM  

hardinparamedic: [i123.photobucket.com image 160x139]

THE GLORYHOLE. SUCH AN ELEGANT CONCEPT! A SIMPLE HOLE, DEDICATED TO HIS GLORY!

[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 180x212]

Well, it IS a hole, and his name may have came up a time or two...


HOLY F*CKING GOD! I THINK I SEE THE LIGHT!!
 
2013-09-09 05:03:47 AM  
Nice. Let's see how many more jobs they can destroy.
 
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