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(Blogger.com)   The nurse at the ER check-in desk looked at me like I'm the first guy who's ever been stabbed in the face for cheating at Monopoly. Whatever   (explodingunicorn.blogspot.com) divider line 46
    More: Strange, Battle of Waterloo, monopoly, emergency rooms  
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4982 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2013 at 2:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-09-08 12:59:25 PM  
Don't play Monopoly with a Lebanese.  They'll hold up the game for 30 minutes while they try to haggle with you over a railroad.
 
2013-09-08 01:16:02 PM  
People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.
 
2013-09-08 03:02:20 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.


Yeah, also the fines and taxes go in middle and you get them if you land on free parking house rule makes it take longer.
 
2013-09-08 03:02:26 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.


This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules
 
2013-09-08 03:04:30 PM  
But was he the first to be stabbed in the eye with a crooked dildo in the observatory by Colonel Mustard who just finished a ham sandwich?
 
2013-09-08 03:08:48 PM  

K3rmy: But was he the first to be stabbed in the eye with a crooked dildo in the observatory for cheating at Monopoly by Colonel Mustard who just finished a ham sandwich?


FTFM

And those before me are correct - if done by the rules, it is actually a short and fun game.  (the fun part of that game when younger was hiding the dog playing piece so my sister could not use it)
 
2013-09-08 03:09:26 PM  
www.happyworker.com
 
2013-09-08 03:09:46 PM  
Hey thanks for the link, I like that guys blog.  Check out the entry on owning a pool.

Chuckle...heh...
 
2013-09-08 03:13:20 PM  
About a week after meeting my sister-in-law we all sat down to play Monopoly. She was the banker. I saw her steal money. I never could stand her after that. You have to be pretty messed up to steal fake money. That biatch.
 
2013-09-08 03:13:34 PM  
blogs.crikey.com.au
 
2013-09-08 03:14:11 PM  
I'm banned from playing Monopoly with my family, as since I was 13 I've never lost a game.

This ban recently extended to my friends, where I won owning only 6 properties at the Orange and Red corner, which is the statistically most landed on corner in the game. I nearly went bankrupt putting houses and then hotels on the properties and one by one each of my friend landed and I won the game.

I just figure out the best tactic to take, keep to it, and there I go winning. I dislike  forcing myself to lose, I no longer have any fun at the game and don't want to play it anymore.

I have also yet to have violence done upon my person due to the rage I caused during a Monopoly game, though I was almost jumped for my "Pay in Property or Money" plan, because they saw it was illegal.

So, FARK, I ask you, should you be allowed as the owner of the property to determine what form of payment you can accept and how much?

/Also banned from Risk except at home, father is a damned strategic genius
 
2013-09-08 03:14:23 PM  

Mija: About a week after meeting my sister-in-law we all sat down to play Monopoly. She was the banker. I saw her steal money. I never could stand her after that. You have to be pretty messed up to steal fake money. That biatch.


You should have suggested to her that she look into a career on Wall Street.
 
2013-09-08 03:14:36 PM  

RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.

This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules


Well if you have enough cash you could technically put a hotel on all your properties and completely skip houses but it would be nearly impossable to have that kind of cash without houses/hotels already.
 
2013-09-08 03:16:17 PM  
My brother and I played Monopoly a lot when we were kids. We started calling it Monotony.

Yawn.
 
2013-09-08 03:19:29 PM  

Oldiron_79: RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.

This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules

Well if you have enough cash you could technically put a hotel on all your properties and completely skip houses but it would be nearly impossable to have that kind of cash without houses/hotels already.


Nope.  Go back and read the rules.

Bottom of page 6, 'Building shortages"
http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/00009.pdf
 
2013-09-08 03:22:15 PM  
This game is only relevant when the power goes out and you cannot play 2-person video games.  Or if the person you play with cannot muster enough skill to play video games (drunk, over 60, under 6).
 
2013-09-08 03:23:33 PM  

RogermcAllen: Oldiron_79: RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.

This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules

Well if you have enough cash you could technically put a hotel on all your properties and completely skip houses but it would be nearly impossable to have that kind of cash without houses/hotels already.

Nope.  Go back and read the rules.

Bottom of page 6, 'Building shortages"
http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/00009.pdf


And the part right above it, "Hotels", that states that you must turn in 4 houses to the bank.
 
2013-09-08 03:23:39 PM  

RogermcAllen: Oldiron_79: RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.

This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules

Well if you have enough cash you could technically put a hotel on all your properties and completely skip houses but it would be nearly impossable to have that kind of cash without houses/hotels already.

Nope.  Go back and read the rules.

Bottom of page 6, 'Building shortages"
http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/00009.pdf


www.multimanpublishing.com
 
2013-09-08 03:23:47 PM  
You have to be a pretty sad sack of worthless shiat to cheat at a game like Monopoly.  Worth a stabbing though?  The jury is still out on it.
 
2013-09-08 03:23:58 PM  
s11.postimg.org
 
2013-09-08 03:29:38 PM  
Mom hides her monopoly money under the board so you don't see how much she actually has.  You think you're about to win when the wench pulls out a stack of $100s and $500s.

One of the few times I will swear at my mother.
 
2013-09-08 03:31:01 PM  
Before I married my girlfriend,  I gave her Park Place for a beej. I still won.
 
2013-09-08 03:31:24 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.


I remember when I was a kid, there was one game we had going with my mother and younger sister with no auctions or strategy in trading. We'd play for a while each day and come back to it, and it must've lasted at least a week. We even went out and bought extra money for the bank. I don't think I was aware of the auction rule until I played a computer Monopoly game as a teenager.
 
2013-09-08 03:34:11 PM  

Ex-Texan: Before I married my girlfriend,  I gave her Park Place for a beej. I still won.


Was this the Donald Trump version?
 
2013-09-08 03:38:38 PM  

RogermcAllen: Oldiron_79: RogermcAllen: Benevolent Misanthrope: People hate monopoly because the don't know how to play it.  No one seems to know that auctions are a normal - nay, required - part of the game.  If you don't want a property or don't have the money to buy it, it goes to auction.  It speeds up the process immensely.  That, and knowing how to trade with one another (something no one seems to know they can do, either) are what makes Monopoly work.  It's only when you can buy or trade for monopolies that you an start collecting good rent, and that's the main part of the game.

This.  House rules ruin the game.

/loves to buy up the houses so that no one else can build hotels, since you physically need to have 4 houses to build a hotel
//99% of people who claim to be good at monopoly play by shiatty house rules

Well if you have enough cash you could technically put a hotel on all your properties and completely skip houses but it would be nearly impossable to have that kind of cash without houses/hotels already.

Nope.  Go back and read the rules.

Bottom of page 6, 'Building shortages"
http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/00009.pdf


It looks like you sir are Technically correct, the best kind of correct. I dont think Ive ever encountered a situation where this rule would apply(ie someone has cash to buy hotels but no houses to turn in)
 
2013-09-08 03:45:13 PM  
my friends & family play strictly by the rules, no house rules. but they make crazy trades, like: "i'll trade you park place for these 3 properties, plus $500, & i get to land there rent free 3 times." so it gets interesting when there's several of these going on at once, & someone forgets how many times they got their 'free rent'.
 
2013-09-08 03:54:12 PM  

theodopolis13: my friends & family play strictly by the rules, no house rules. but they make crazy trades, like: "i'll trade you park place for these 3 properties, plus $500, & i get to land there rent free 3 times." so it gets interesting when there's several of these going on at once, & someone forgets how many times they got their 'free rent'.


Read your first sentence, then go read the rest. Its EXACTLY what your family is doing.
 
2013-09-08 04:24:53 PM  
Cannot tolerate the game.
People tend to forget that it isn't real money and get emotional.

I'm sure just based on the raw emotion shown by the people in this thread, people have had periods where they did not talk to one another because of the game.

Maybe I should invest in one that is even more infuriating.

/has also sworn off a card game after trying to play it in flight and the players to the right and left of me started pointing out cards in my hand that I had overlooked.
 
2013-09-08 04:37:14 PM  
I physically attacked a guy I barely knew over Monopoly.

We were playing a game in the office we shared as grad students. Alcohol was involved, and we were all more or less gone (mentally), as there were no more exams for the semester. So we have a desk in the middle of the office, and the banker has a chair next to him to hold the deeds, money, etc. We're a good ways into the game--and the whiskey--and I notice the banker robs his own bank for a few hundred bucks. Friendly argument ensues, and two girls hold him down on the floor while I take my cane to his abdomen. Ok, ok--I was poking him with the rubber ferrule. Still technically assault.

History grad students do crazy shiat.

/The end of the fight was that he returned the pilfered play money
//And everyone else got an extra $200
 
2013-09-08 04:51:30 PM  
"Another case of Monopoly-related violence. How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?"
 
2013-09-08 04:53:35 PM  

Resident Muslim: Cannot tolerate the game.
People tend to forget that it isn't real money and get emotional.

I'm sure just based on the raw emotion shown by the people in this thread, people have had periods where they did not talk to one another because of the game.

Maybe I should invest in one that is even more infuriating.

/has also sworn off a card game after trying to play it in flight and the players to the right and left of me started pointing out cards in my hand that I had overlooked.


Looking for a more infuriating one? If Fark has taught me anything about board games, it's that Diplomacy makes Risk look like Candy Land.
 
2013-09-08 05:05:49 PM  

Fireproof: Resident Muslim: Cannot tolerate the game.
People tend to forget that it isn't real money and get emotional.

I'm sure just based on the raw emotion shown by the people in this thread, people have had periods where they did not talk to one another because of the game.

Maybe I should invest in one that is even more infuriating.

/has also sworn off a card game after trying to play it in flight and the players to the right and left of me started pointing out cards in my hand that I had overlooked.

Looking for a more infuriating one? If Fark has taught me anything about board games, it's that Diplomacy makes Risk look like Candy Land.


Diplomacy almost ended 3 good friendships in Junior High.  I like how doublecrossing, deceit, and treachery are built in to the game.
 
2013-09-08 06:02:53 PM  

Fireproof: Looking for a more infuriating one? If Fark has taught me anything about board games, it's that Diplomacy makes Risk look like Candy Land.


Came in to say exactly that.
 
2013-09-08 06:20:40 PM  

oh_please: Fireproof: Looking for a more infuriating one? If Fark has taught me anything about board games, it's that Diplomacy makes Risk look like Candy Land.

Came in to say exactly that.


How have I never heard, or played this game? Christ, at least I played Risk.
 
2013-09-08 06:30:59 PM  

Ex-Texan: Before I married my girlfriend,  I gave her Park Place for a beej. I still won.



That must have been awkward for the rest of players to witness.
 
2013-09-08 06:43:33 PM  

99.998er: Ex-Texan: Before I married my girlfriend,  I gave her Park Place for a beej. I still won.


That must have been awkward for the rest of players to witness.


You know, I know it probably didn't happen that way. However, I'm now sitting here picturing that going on with 3-4 other players going "wtf?"
 
2013-09-08 07:02:06 PM  
And here I thought that's how  everygame of Monopoly ended.
 
2013-09-08 07:18:37 PM  
90% of all domestic violence is caused by Monopoly and people playing by house rules and making crazy trades.
 
2013-09-08 08:11:12 PM  
Ever try explaining to that desk lady why your friend was stabbed in the ass with a spear?
Not easy.
 
2013-09-08 08:58:10 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: I'm banned from playing Monopoly with my family, as since I was 13 I've never lost a game.

This ban recently extended to my friends, where I won owning only 6 properties at the Orange and Red corner, which is the statistically most landed on corner in the game. I nearly went bankrupt putting houses and then hotels on the properties and one by one each of my friend landed and I won the game.

I just figure out the best tactic to take, keep to it, and there I go winning. I dislike  forcing myself to lose, I no longer have any fun at the game and don't want to play it anymore.

I have also yet to have violence done upon my person due to the rage I caused during a Monopoly game, though I was almost jumped for my "Pay in Property or Money" plan, because they saw it was illegal.

So, FARK, I ask you, should you be allowed as the owner of the property to determine what form of payment you can accept and how much?

/Also banned from Risk except at home, father is a damned strategic genius


Ditto.
Seriously.
Ditto.
 
2013-09-08 09:23:10 PM  
Why don't people play by the farking rules??  I don't remember when I last lost a game of Monopoly, and when I do play, the others always say shiat like, "You can't ________ (fill in the blank) in Monoploy!"  I have to show them every time.  It's not that long of a game if you don't do house rules crap and actually play by the rules.  Sheesh.

/Also, NEVER offer to pay rent, make the other sap figure it out.
 
2013-09-08 10:32:40 PM  

theodopolis13: s11.postimg.org


...the other you can use to buy a sammich or a soda.
 
2013-09-08 10:42:57 PM  
What_do_you_want_now:
So, FARK, I ask you, should you be allowed as the owner of the property to determine what form of payment you can accept and how much?

Depends. Is she hot?
 
2013-09-08 11:23:56 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: So, FARK, I ask you, should you be allowed as the owner of the property to determine what form of payment you can accept and how much?


Sure.  If you do, you're playing under "House Rules", though.
 
2013-09-09 07:31:45 AM  
If Monopoly frustrates your family/gaming group, it's probably just because you're not playing the RIGHT version!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_licensed_and_localized_editions _o f_Monopoly:_USA
 
2013-09-09 09:35:27 AM  
People still play Monopoly? What is this, 1982? Welcome to 2013, Settlers of Catan has been going strong for decades.
 
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