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(Daily Mail)   They are soulless agents of death from the deep, nearly indestructible and vast in number, it's only a matter of time. It's the rise of the jellyfish - and now we're toast   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: Obvious, New York Review of Books, nuclear power, sea turtles, bisexuality, gelatins, jellyfish, global cooling, industrial waste  
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3916 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Sep 2013 at 2:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-08 01:32:27 PM  
Jellyfishnado!
 
2013-09-08 02:46:01 PM  
Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?
 
2013-09-08 02:53:22 PM  
They've been gorging on American fast food.
 
2013-09-08 03:05:30 PM  
Funnily enough I was stung by a jellyfish, on the throat, a couple of days ago. So if anyone wants to destroy them all I'm fine with that.
 
2013-09-08 03:06:42 PM  
Mmmmm - Now I wants me some toast and jelly.
 
2013-09-08 03:09:35 PM  
You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.
 
2013-09-08 03:10:21 PM  
static.comicvine.com

Our saviors from the jellyfish scourge.
 
2013-09-08 03:10:35 PM  
 
2013-09-08 03:10:58 PM  
All hail King Neptune and his water breathers.
 
2013-09-08 03:15:58 PM  
For a moment there, I thought subby was referring to the TSA
 
2013-09-08 03:18:14 PM  
So, I'm spending this weekend on an island off the coast of MA, and I swam into a swarm of them yesterday. They weren't the stinging kind, but they freaked me out so badly I actually left the water. I'd rather swim into a swarm of used condoms.

(((Shudder))))
 
2013-09-08 03:18:32 PM  

mark12A: Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?


Or biofuel?

Get some VC funding for jellyfish harvesting robots...
 
2013-09-08 03:19:47 PM  
I, for one, welcome our new gelatinous overlords.
 
2013-09-08 03:26:19 PM  

FunkOut: All hail King Neptune and his water breathers.


Good album
 
2013-09-08 03:39:00 PM  
I'm pretty sure one of those pictures is not jellyfish, but instead a veritable army of metroids.
 
2013-09-08 03:44:01 PM  
Tell the Japanese that they taste great with Wasabi. They'll be gone in no time...
 
2013-09-08 03:54:17 PM  

RoyBatty: mark12A: Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?

Or biofuel?

Get some VC funding for jellyfish harvesting robots...


There's an invention I've heard about, called a "net".  I hear VC loves anything having to do with "nets".
 
2013-09-08 03:57:44 PM  

Heraclitus: Tell the Japanese that they taste great with Wasabi. They'll be gone in no time...


or that live jellyfish when affixed to one's sexual organs increases arousal.  Get two birds stoned with that one.
 
2013-09-08 04:16:43 PM  

Heraclitus: Tell the Japanese that they taste great with Wasabi. They'll be gone in no time...


Already a thing in Georgia.
 
2013-09-08 04:18:09 PM  

LrdPhoenix: I'm pretty sure one of those pictures is not jellyfish, but instead a veritable army of metroids.


That'd be the next step in jellyfish evolution.
 
2013-09-08 04:35:38 PM  
It's not so much the "rise of jellies" as the "fall of fish, corals, and oysters" due to us humans literally eating nearly ALL the farking fish and farking the water with fertilizer. 90%+ declines in various fish stocks... Oh, and with many we've also trawled and dredged the bottom habitat that would support the growth of these fish as juveniles as well. Basically, we would have to step back and fish MUCH less, in less harmful ways, as well as clean up the water.

We could try making 30%+ of the oceans into a "no-take" area, a strategy that has proven quite successful where it has been tried. Or we could just let it turn into jellyfish and slime. I know which one is more likely.
 
2013-09-08 04:38:35 PM  

Heraclitus: Tell the Japanese that they taste great with Wasabi. They'll be gone in no time...

 
Just point me in the right direction.  This stuff is delicious.

s3-media1.ak.yelpcdn.com
 
2013-09-08 05:07:23 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.


Unless its a Box Jellyfish, in which case you will experience indescribable agony before death.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-08 05:15:14 PM  
Now I feel like rereading the SF disaster novel The Kraken Wakes by John Wyndham.
 
Skr
2013-09-08 05:15:18 PM  
"Hermaphroditism. Cloning. External fertilization. Self fertilization. Courtship and copulation. Fission. Fusion. Cannibalism. You name it, jellyfish [are] doing it"

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
 
2013-09-08 05:37:50 PM  
Meh, just publish a study claiming jellyfish have viagra like properties and the Chinese will fish them out within months


/datswacist.jpg
 
2013-09-08 05:39:20 PM  
Paging Lonesome Cowboy Nando
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-08 05:47:11 PM  
Meh, just publish a study claiming jellyfish have viagra like properties and the Chinese will fish them out within months

"Topical application of jellyfish jelly promotes potency"

Ow ow ow ow ow
 
2013-09-08 06:17:25 PM  
www.mcz.harvard.edu

www.cartanart.com

www.ephotozine.com
24.media.tumblr.com

These are made of glass.
In the 19th century.

/Blaschka
//pretty freaking badass
 
2013-09-08 06:29:22 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-09-08 07:32:41 PM  
Not a big fan of jellyfish. Got stung in the left thigh by a blue bottle, and it spread to my right thigh. Do the math.
 
2013-09-08 08:08:02 PM  

mark12A: Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?


No. and that's sort of the problem in a nutshell. They're basically big baloons; not enough biomass to make harvesting worthwhile. So we take the regular fish and leave the jellys as the only ocean creature capable of still reproducing.

It's not super effective.
 
2013-09-08 09:44:29 PM  

Heraclitus: Tell the Japanese that they taste great with Wasabi increase sexual virility. They'll be gone in no time...


More likely.
 
2013-09-08 09:54:08 PM  

Sim Tree: mark12A: Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?

No. and that's sort of the problem in a nutshell. They're basically big baloons; not enough biomass to make harvesting worthwhile. So we take the regular fish and leave the jellys as the only ocean creature capable of still reproducing.

It's not super effective.


plastic trash in the ocean is also killing off sea turtles, one of the jellyfishes' main predators.
 
2013-09-08 10:04:52 PM  
We had a nice little invasion of these motherfarkers a few weeks ago in America's Wang.  I've never encountered one, but still thought "oh, that won't happen to me" despite 200 something people getting stung one weekend a little north of us, along with the family next to me.  That see-through soulless ass fark left a nice capital C on my back.  Maybe he just thought I'd like my first initial on my back.  I'm telling you, it hurt like a biatch.

/CSB
 
2013-09-08 10:31:34 PM  

mark12A: Can't we scoop them up and turn them into animal feed, or Soylent Yellow or something?


Soylent Translucent?
 
2013-09-08 10:49:53 PM  
We don't need a god to destroy our planet, we can do it ourselves!

/score one for Atheism
 
2013-09-08 10:55:22 PM  
These unstoppable jellyfish will kill us all!
 
2013-09-08 11:10:03 PM  
millerandmanas.files.wordpress.com

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly."
 
2013-09-09 01:20:20 AM  

studebaker hoch: [millerandmanas.files.wordpress.com image 480x206]

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly."


We're gonna need bigger peanut butter.
 
2013-09-09 04:38:55 AM  
Mmm... Toast and jelly.

But wait... Too many jellies? What's  not eating them all of a sudden? According to Yahoo Answers, jellyfish predators include "tuna, swordfish, moonfish, triggerfish and certain kinds of sea turtles - especially the leatherback turtle" ...Which probably explains why there are so many of them about now, since we seem to be depopulating all of the above. So clearly we brought this on ourselves and will suffer nature's just wrath. All is as it should be. Move along, everyone.

...Or, we as a species will do the logical thing when when confronted by the results of our having killed off too many of one or more species and thereby thrown interspecies balance for a loop: find a good reason to kill off more of what there's too much of. Continually diminishing other species in favor of our own can't possibly have a downside. That'd be like saying it's bad to make too much money or overindulge in things that feel good. Crazy talk.
 
2013-09-09 04:48:13 AM  
P.S.: Don't you love it when a species gets totally demonized for being as good or better at reproducing, surviving and wrecking the environment as humans?
 
2013-09-09 04:52:05 AM  

Grotesk: P.S.: Don't you love it when a species gets totally demonized for being as good or better at reproducing, surviving and wrecking the environment as humans?


It would be nice if we could stop overfishing, and as a rabid consumer of all things seafoody I would happily take the pain and stop completely for a couple of years if it would replenish the sea, and then move to a more sustainable method of fishing.... but like I said above, a jellyfish stung me on the throat a couple of days ago. They can all go back to the hell from whence they came!!
 
2013-09-09 05:49:53 AM  
Jellyfish apocalypse?

SO much more boring than the zombie apocalypse....
 
2013-09-09 09:04:08 AM  
I'm looking forward to the jelly-zombie apocalypse myself.
 
2013-09-09 10:39:20 AM  
 
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