Incorrigible Astronaut: 60% new roster and a QB and coach that aren't complete dumpster fires? HOPEJust look at the time..[www.huntermfg.com image 500x500]
Jim from Saint Paul: Boy that's a ticky tack PI call. That ball wasn't near catchable.
This is a late parrot: Am I the only one who wants to shoot my tv every time Ray Lewis speaks?
Bunny Deville: Di Atribe: TheManofPA: Romo pick 6 time. When I wizard, feel free to post a hot girl earguyelguerodiablo: I smell a Romoception coming. Or maybe it was the dog.Take it back. The both of you. DO ITIt's okay, I already did a reverse incantation for you.
eddievercetti: Everyone else uses their lucky socks.
Earguy: my lip balm addiction: Earguy: Commercial. I'm adjusting to go with the running theme of the game. SFW thanks to censorshipNSFWThat "not now kitty" one is awesome!Even better, NSFW
JerseyTim: WTF? Romo has cheat notes!
DubyaHater: I'm sick of this Wendy's girl. Could be that this game is just pissing me off.
robsul82: All of a sudden a chill ran down the spine of Christian Ponder.
seventypercent: Another Ponderception.I haven't seen a Christian get slaughtered by Lions like this since... hmm, nothing is coming to mind.
Bunny Deville: Good god, Reid looks like he's been in KC eating alllllllll the barbecue. Jesus christ. Like, maybe a pig per day.
Incorrigible Astronaut: GABBERTCEPTION! BRANDON FLOWERS!
CipollinaFan: smerfnablin: Why are the bears burning all their timeouts in the first quarter?!They must have infinite timeouts in the CFL
smerfnablin: Tom Brady and jay cutler just threw the exact same touchdown pass to the exact same part of the end zone at the exact same timeHow is this possible?!
FuLinHyu: Be back in a bit (daughter wants ice cream and dad is a sucker so....)
Lt. Cheese Weasel: My Sunday TIcket just went *poof*
knbber2: Must be cold in that interview, Kaepernick wearing hipster douchebag ski cap.
dickfreckle: Bunny Deville: Trying to decide whether to go to the sports bar, or just go down to the man cave and watch the game by, shall we say, dubious means. The sports bar has good beer and fried food, but the basement means I don't have to leave the house.The basement does not require pants.
Captain Steroid: My picks for today go as follows:- Patriots kill the Bills, try to blame Aaron Hernandez.- Bengals maul DAAAA' Bears!- Dolphins leave the "Factory of Sadness" smelling like tuna.- AP runs over the Lions. Oh, and some guys from Minnesota help, too. I guess.- GO OTHER PONIES! XD- Breesus dines on Falcon.- Buccaneers pillage New Jersey.- The Steel Curtain falls on Tennessee.- Seattle beats Carolina, smells like teen spirit.- Chiefs and Jags are swallowed by a Florida sinkhole, never to plague mankind again.- The St. Louis Rams top the Arizona Cardinals, marking a rare occasion that St. Louis cheers a Cardinal team getting their asses whupped.- Aaron Rodgers takes THE CAKE, shoves it up Jim Harbaugh's whiny ass. >:-)- Eli and the Giants destroy Jerry Jones' team in Dallas, officially rechristen Cowboy Stadium as Meadowlands West.
mikaloyd: Id give the game ball to the Cowboys defense
seventypercent: WHAT THE FARKING HELL ROSEANNE BARR PROVO UTAH PIECE OF BUFFALO CHICKEN LASAGNA FARKING WHOREWAY TO GO
JerseyTim: Di Atribe: TheManofPA: JerseyTim: I feel like this "there's no one I'd rather have than Eli" talk always jinxes him. It only works when they don't bring it up.Yes, but talking about how the talk jinxes him, jinxes the jinxThen I jinx the jinxing of the jinx! KAPOW!This is more confusing than Back to the Future 2.
Di Atribe: my lip balm addiction: Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.He's my favorite player on my favorite team. I think I get to stick up for him when people are wrong about him.And winning in the playoffs is a team accomplishment. He can't do it on his own, no matter how much he leads and pushes. He is not the entire team.If you don't like me, then put me on ignore. I'm not going away & I'm not going to stop "over-fellating" him.
phantomht: Di Atribe: phantomht: shoulda left Orton in.:PWhat a horrible ting to say :Pi know, i know.im just not as big a romo fan as some.
JerseyTim: Huge tackle.
Di Atribe: Sunrazor: I'm am a proud Chiefs fan, I know a little bit about a drought, but my team is never touted as a team to watch year in and year out. It is popular to hate the Boys but that is only because we are force fed them constantly and it is a backlash, naturally. But just know that I enjoy their failings and flailings, but it comes from a deep, dark place in my heart, and not just because it is the cool thing to do.If you hate things that are "force fed" to you, then you should really be hating the Patriots. "They" don't tout the Cowboys as the team to watch NEARLY as much as you think. In fact, most talking heads do nothing but pick at them & find any way they can to put Romo down by ignoring everything he does well in lieu of showing his every fark up over & over again.But ok, hate them all you want. Just know that your reasons are stupid.
my lip balm addiction: Di Atribe: Sunrazor: I'm am a proud Chiefs fan, I know a little bit about a drought, but my team is never touted as a team to watch year in and year out. It is popular to hate the Boys but that is only because we are force fed them constantly and it is a backlash, naturally. But just know that I enjoy their failings and flailings, but it comes from a deep, dark place in my heart, and not just because it is the cool thing to do.If you hate things that are "force fed" to you, then you should really be hating the Patriots. "They" don't tout the Cowboys as the team to watch NEARLY as much as you think. In fact, most talking heads do nothing but pick at them & find any way they can to put Romo down by ignoring everything he does well in lieu of showing his every fark up over & over again.But ok, hate them all you want. Just know that your reasons are stupid.Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.
kteela: Nah, this game is over. Y'all make me laugh and stuff, but I've got to pay attn to this calamity of a game so I can bring some real trash talk to work tomorrow, get the dog out and hit the hay. Di's the biggest person in the thread, always, I don't mind. I'm chill.
TheManofPA: Any chance Wilson gets back in the game. For shiats and giggles
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Polish Hussar: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Since when, do they give an IV for cramps?Cramps can be caused by dehydration. IV's are a common method for rapidly rehydrating a personSo how the hell do you get dehydrated in an air-conditioned 72 degree stadium, when you've worked for approximately seven minutes? Drink a Gatorade, for chrissakes!
Di Atribe: JerseyTim: Someone just posted this to my Facebook news feed:Anyone who complains about status of football on Sunday can suck it. I have to sit through 365 days seeing people complain about their co workers, parking spots, bad moods, headaches, depressed feelings, traffic, weather. Eat a big bowl of screwI love this. Seriously. There were way too many "I don't care about football" posts today. Then just go outside. It's not like it's some huge surprise that football is on Sundays.
ddam: Romo has so much time in the pocket, he could read a whole book.
4NSpy: Romo has so much time in the pocket, he could learn to read.
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This may be the worst football game I've ever seen. Since 1967.
my lip balm addiction: Earguy: Commercial. I'm adjusting to go with the running theme of the game. SFW thanks to censorshipNSFWThat "not now kitty" one is awesome!
Flying Lasagna Monster: So the NBC live feed isn't working in Firefox. Or Chrome. Or IE. I can still download porn, so it's not my internet connection that's the problem.
Bunny Deville: yookaloco: Between his age, his crazy temper, and high obvious signs of high blood pressure, Coughlin has to be leading the current NFL head coach dead pool. Yes, even more than Andy Reid.Did you SEE Andy Reid today? He looked like he ate a light breakfast of half a manatee, followed by a second breakfast of a barrel of spiced lard, and then topped off with a lunch of several small children topped with cheese.
yookaloco: Between his age, his crazy temper, and high obvious signs of high blood pressure, Coughlin has to be leading the current NFL head coach dead pool. Yes, even more than Andy Reid.
thecpt: David Wilson. Future hall of famer.Butterfingers lifetime achievement award
JerseyTim: That french fry burger looks about as big as a silver dollar.
Di Atribe: Out of all the dudes I touch myself over, you pick him? He's Bunny's boyfriend, man.
Di Atribe: Primitive Screwhead: Those Dallas "D" hats gotta go.I dislike them, as well. Stars, or spell out "Cowboys," I mean, COME ON
JerseyTim: Fun fact: Eli and Peyton Manning have combined for seven TDs in week one.
Gonz: This game is setting back offensive football by 65 years.
xaks: Part of me is all
Di Atribe: RINO: Hm, Eli Manning leads the league in turnovers. But Romo is an interception machine, right?Numbers don't really MEAN anything! What you see on SportsCenter is all that really matters.
seventypercent: We've secretly replaced Eli Manning with Chelsea Manning. Let's see if anybody notices.
kteela: Hi becks!I can't root for either team, sadly. As long as at least one of them loses, I'll be happy.
Earguy: PluckYew: Earguy: steamingpile: Lord of Allusions: This Toyota commercial reminds me how awful music is now.Hey dubstep is happenin'!Meanwhile, they illustrate the 80s with the Axel Foley theme...lots of other ways to go with it.Thought is was Herbie Hancock's Rock it. Wasn't paying close attention thoughMight be. Yeah, I think you're right. Anyway. I gotta start looking for something to distract me from the commercials. You know how I get.
Lord of Allusions: This Toyota commercial reminds me how awful music is now.
TheManofPA: AdamK: IAmRight: WTF @ mouth-breather guy behind her.national clownshoes dayIt'd been like this since they retired the buttfumble on Thursday. By getting rid of that much concentrated clownshoes, the ripple effect is too large. I'm half-expecting 450 yards and 3 TDs for Romo before he runs into his own teammate and gets hurt for 5 weeks.
smerfnablin: I just saw the chiefs slaughtered the Jags 28-2They bench gabbart?And did he win the delhomme meter?
robsul82: 27-24 St. Louis, FINALOvercame a 24-13 second half deficit.
TIED GAME AZ 24 - STL 24
xaks: I think we stay here Di, but dont' take my word for it.
dickfreckle: Whose dick do I gotta suck to get an honest kick return? Jesus.
picodenico: Aezetyr: New to Fark's Football threads. You guys/gals/whathaveyou are hilarious.You'll never be able to watch sports again without threads.
picodenico: eddievercetti: pbs.twimg.comOH HOLY HELL WTF
HALFTIME IN SAN FRANCISCO!
IAmRight: Yes, Papa John's, Peyton Manning is known for QB sneaks. God I hate you and your sh*tty commercials and your sh*ttier pizza.
ramen_for_all: [i.imgur.com image 499x666]Mmmmmmm
robsul82: First down, nice catch STL
RminusQ: [insert "Clay Matthews fathead" joke here]
whenIsayGO: LucklessWonder: Did the Jets really win?They didn't so much win, as the Bucs lost.
robsul82: Pouncey and Foote are "assumed by Tomlin" to be done for the year, if nobody else mentioned that.
JayCab: How the hell does the CENTER commit a false start? Dammit, Goodwin.
eddievercetti: Yeah Dominos, I don't think the greatest ideas were made while eating your pizza.
xaks: Heh. Even Joe Shoepisser break's Harbaugh's balls for trying to lambast the refs. Love the ref hollering 'NO!' over and over.
robsul82: Delhomme Leaderboard at Sunday AfternoonBrandon Weeden, Delhomme RatingTM - 50.0 (3 INT)*CURRENTLY CALIBRATING...*Aaron Rodgers, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0Carson Palmer, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0Colin Kaepernick, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0Sam Bradford, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0
VvonderJesus: HeathenHealer: This is going to be a long year for Minnesota. I'm guessing Ponder will not be starting by week 5.Week 5 is the bye, so week 6 is Cassel. Though by week 3 it should be Cassel, and week 6 MBT
mikaloyd: mooseyfate: mikaloyd: SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WINWHO DAT!WHO DAT!
Jim from Saint Paul: Ok Ponder. Here it is. your chance to shut people, including me, up. for a little while. 3:30 min TD drive.Give The D a chance to finally make a real stop.
robsul82: THE JETS ARE WINNING?!?
Tom_Slick: Damn it Ryan, and the rest of the damn team. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Will we see another winning seasons from the Falcons? Damn, Damn, Damn, off to find my old Steelers Jersey I can't deal with another season of this
geom_00: YAY!! THE TITANS ARE SO HAPPY THEIR SKIPPING!!
vegaswench: Congrats, Colts fans.Hey, at least the Raiders made it interesting for a while.
becksellent: What is that, a Steelers first down? I mean, not that it'll matter at this stage...but still kinda nice to see.
JayCab: You're right, it should have been Unnecessary Roughness for grabbing a helmet opening and twisting.
wombatsrus: Why do folks think Luck is slow?
my lip balm addiction: Who'da think that benching Marshawn Lynch and playing Joique Bell would turn out so well./just kidding, I played Lynch
robsul82: Carolina is STILL leading Seattle?
vegaswench: Hey, who is Giselle going to blame for the Brady fumble?
nohurtme: Been a vikings fan for 40 years now, please help me. Feels like the season is over already. Ponder. Why Ponder. I wish i could switch to another Ponder err I mean team, but I'm a vikings fan, can't stoponder. God it hurts so Ponder. Once they were the Purple People Ponders but now they Ponder. If Ponder is Ponder then Ponder will not Ponder. Help me/Ponder//PonderPonder Ponder Ponder Ponder PonderPonder Ponder Ponder Ponder PonderPonder Ponder Ponder Ponder PonderPonder Ponder Ponder Ponder PonderPonder Ponder Ponder Ponder
geom_00: yookaloco: 3.bp.blogspot.comBut WHY is the rum gone?!?
mooseyfate: geom_00: becksellent: That...that doesn't look good, he couldn't make it off the field on his ownCrack open the Rum??Don't have to tell me twice./I'm a rummy
geom_00: THIS IS FARKING MIDGET FOOTBALL AT HEINZ FIELD!!!
Tsrwedge: Whoa -- did anyone else's Bears/Bungles game just switch to SAP?
CodeMonkey4Life: When Brady checks his voice mail he's going to have one from Peyton and all it will contain is sustained laughter
Publikwerks: I think the Bills D is going to get pretty tired.
DevilsHorns J: Did I really just see Geno trying to signal for a timeout as the 2 minute warning was coming? Now I'm starting to actually wonder if he's a little slow..
HALFTIME AT THE SUPERDOME!
Galileo's Daughter: Professor Farksworth: TheManofPA: TOUCHDOWN BROWNS!Surely you can't be serious.He is serious. And stop calling him Shirley.
Bunny Deville: Chiefs score.Maybe I will just go home at halftime and watch the steelers game.
VvonderJesus: skinink: 12 Buffaloes on the field.Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.
4NSpy: Flying Lasagna Monster: Anyone watching the Jets? How does Geno Smith look?He's black.
Galileo's Daughter: IAmRight: UNGER WHEN WILSON IS POINTING OUT BLOCKING, THAT DOES NOT MEAN TO SNAP ITIs he over Unger?
WhackingDay: Even with a win, the fans in Pittsburgh will be calling for Haley's head on a platter tomorrow.
FriarReb98: Why'd they get rid of Zoltan again?
ariseatex: yookaloco: Can we start a petition to change Doug Martin's nickname from Muscle Hamster to The Douggernaut? Can we make that a thing? I mean, it's just not fair to the guy. He's never getting a good endorsement as Muscle Hamster.[24.media.tumblr.com image 396x319]Nice throw, Ryan. Bra-vo.
yookaloco: I mean, it's just not fair to the guy. He's never getting a good endorsement as Muscle Hamster.
Incorrigible Astronaut: Good lord... judging from the few passes that RedZone has shown, Locker looks awful so far.
becksellent: We're gonna need some more, kthx.
WorseThanEzra: F'ing Redman. Steelers still have that Craigslist out for a running back ?
Polish Hussar: Holy crap! Stafford RAN for a first down
ModernPrimitive01: Not enough beer to get me though this titans season. We just safeties ourselves in the first play of the year.full pants on the head retarded
AliceBToklasLives: cookiefleck: Bruno Mars will be better than the spastic, epileptic fit that was last year's Beyonce performanceThe Black-Eyed Peas set the bar so low I doubt anyone can top them.
cookiefleck: Bruno Mars will be better than the spastic, epileptic fit that was last year's Beyonce performance
yookaloco: The "much beloved" Bill Simmons expressing my feelings on fantasy football."On that note, we have to rehash Eli's catastrophic 5.25-pointer, which officially ended my West Coast fantasy season and may have convinced me to retire from fantasy football altogether, and only because I'm tired of fantasy football making me feel bad about myself. It's like being in a relationship with someone who's always mean to you. I can't even remember the last time fantasy football and I were happy. Anyway, an Illinois reader named Kevin listened to me biatch about fantasy football on Monday's podcast and sent the following e-mail:'Nobody wants to hear about your fantasy team, or mine, or anyone else's for that matter. That's why I'm going to start a Fantasy Football Gripe Hotline, like a Suicide Hotline but more like a Suicide Pool Hotline. Imagine being able to call up this week, for a minor $1 fee, and vent. 'Dude, I had Andrew Luck in my starting lineup all week, then the third-rate fantasy info guy that follows me on Twitter said 'Eli never has two bad games in a row' and I plugged Eli in over Luck 10 minutes before kickoff.' My hotline operator could just respond with, 'Man, it's okay. You made the right choice. What were the odds that would happen. Don't beat yourself up.' How many sullen fantasy owners would be all over this?'(I love this idea. I totally would have called that hotline after Eli's 5.25-pointer and maybe even have spent $20 hashing out my feelings about it. Which brings me back to my point - I really need to dump fantasy football. I don't like the way you make me feel about myself, fantasy football. You're mean to me.)"/still couldn't help but join a bunch of leagues this year//ya know, now that I think of it, my last relationship was with a girl who was always mean to me. Huh.
JosephFinn: God, it's good to have football back. Everyone's 0-0, there's hope in the air, we can mock NFL on Fox for pretending the Superbowl is taking place in New York City....
smerfnablin: CBS has a better pregame show than usual.They talked about the jay cutler problem ad actually mentioned the quarterback of the browns by name...Fox is really screwing up for some reason.
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