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(ESPN)   WILL Sean Payton lead the Saints back to glory? CAN the Packers finally beat the 49ers? HOW will the Jets top the Year of the Buttfumble? Praise Tebow, the wait is over... THIS is YOUR NFL: Week 1 Discussion Thread (Games begin @ 1pm ET on CBS, FOX)   ( scores.espn.go.com) divider line
    More: Cool, 'Tis the Season, Rex Grossman, Peyton Hillis, Matt Cassel, key dates, Donovan McNabb, Rashard Mendenhall, Tim Tebow  
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3362 clicks; posted to Sports » on 08 Sep 2013 at 12:00 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-09-08 03:49:11 AM  
8 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: 60% new roster and a QB and coach that aren't complete dumpster fires? HOPE

Just look at the time..

[www.huntermfg.com image 500x500]


i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 03:24:28 PM  
5 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 11:11:25 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:57:27 PM  
4 votes:
sphotos-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size
2013-09-08 03:54:09 PM  
4 votes:

Jim from Saint Paul: Boy that's a ticky tack PI call. That ball wasn't near catchable.


It's Calvin Johnson.  As long as the ball isn't in the end zone, it's catchable.
2013-09-08 01:51:17 PM  
4 votes:
This MIN-DET game is like watching two octogenarians fight over the last piece of boiled chicken.
2013-09-08 11:44:10 PM  
3 votes:
sphotos-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size

2013-09-08 11:06:30 PM  
3 votes:
A three TD Cruz, a three TD Cruz...
2013-09-08 09:34:47 PM  
3 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size

2013-09-08 04:22:21 PM  
3 votes:
REX RYAN AVOIDS DEFEET
2013-09-08 04:15:42 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:51:01 PM  
3 votes:
Memo

To: Dolphins.
From: NFL
Subject: Six point scoring option.

The NFL would like to inform you that there is a scoring feature called a Touchdown.  This great feature will allow you to score 6 points at once instead of the usual 3 your team frequently gets from field goals.
2013-09-08 12:16:10 PM  
3 votes:

This is a late parrot: Am I the only one who wants to shoot my tv every time Ray Lewis speaks?


I want to stab the tv.
2013-09-08 11:24:02 PM  
2 votes:

Bunny Deville: Di Atribe: TheManofPA: Romo pick 6 time. When I wizard, feel free to post a hot girl earguy

elguerodiablo: I smell a Romoception coming.  Or maybe it was the dog.

Take it back. The both of you. DO IT

It's okay, I already did a reverse incantation for you.


I want a reverse inbottletation. It keeps the brew colder
2013-09-08 11:22:32 PM  
2 votes:

eddievercetti: Everyone else uses their lucky socks.


I prefer the term "Dreamcatcher"
2013-09-08 11:15:22 PM  
2 votes:
romo hungry! romo eat 2 lunches!
2013-09-08 10:40:36 PM  
2 votes:

Earguy: my lip balm addiction: Earguy: Commercial.    I'm adjusting to go with the running theme of the game.   SFW thanks to censorship
NSFW

That "not now kitty" one is awesome!

Even better, NSFW


/csb

This girl I was dating had a kitten. Whilst we were engaged reverse cg off the side of the couch it became em amounted of my dangly bits. I shoed it away a few times with my foot and finally got so pissed it just jumped up and latched on with all four sets of claws and teeth to my sack and refused to let go.

My response to this stimuli was...animated. I bucked the young lady off into a coffee table and proceeded to kick the cat into a fireplace.

I did not darken her door again.

/end csb
2013-09-08 10:16:27 PM  
2 votes:
You spin Eli right round, bay bee right round, like a record baby right round round round....
2013-09-08 10:13:41 PM  
2 votes:

JerseyTim: WTF? Romo has cheat notes!


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:24:04 PM  
2 votes:
Bold move  by the Giants coming out in the first half of the  first game of the season against a division rival with pistols pointed directly at their own feet.
2013-09-08 09:21:02 PM  
2 votes:
This game is setting back offensive football by 65 years.
2013-09-08 09:06:28 PM  
2 votes:

DubyaHater: I'm sick of this Wendy's girl. Could be that this game is just pissing me off.


Unpossible. She's too cute to be sick of.

This game is fantastic. If you like watching intramural scrimmages between St. Augustine's School for the Blind and Western Kentucky.
2013-09-08 09:00:03 PM  
2 votes:
This game is a clownshoe potato casserole.
2013-09-08 08:52:55 PM  
2 votes:

robsul82: All of a sudden a chill ran down the spine of Christian Ponder.


I read that as "all the sudden chili ran down the spine of Christian Ponder".
2013-09-08 08:51:07 PM  
2 votes:
We've secretly replaced Eli Manning with Chelsea Manning. Let's see if anybody notices.
2013-09-08 08:41:38 PM  
2 votes:
This game has DERP written all over it. Good grief.
2013-09-08 08:22:44 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size


You know that this guy watched the Erin Andrews naked in the hotel video at least 27 times.
2013-09-08 05:01:26 PM  
2 votes:
media1.sulia.comView Full Size

2013-09-08 04:48:55 PM  
2 votes:
The 1st place Chicago Bears!!!
totalprosports.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:35:51 PM  
2 votes:
i40.tinypic.comView Full Size


I only started with $100 (my wife wouldn't let me start with more)...after $100 on Oregon -25 yesterday, I made 20 wagers today.  I've only lost *1* with 2 to go...will be around $380-400 by end of day.  Next week I double my wagers and keep on going.  My record is turning 100 into 650 in 4 weeks before cashing out...this year I plan on going the entire season and trying to break into 4 or 5 digits.

I should start my own damn blog :P.
2013-09-08 04:34:28 PM  
2 votes:
You know, put some Sixpense None the Richer under those slo-mo shots of Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald and you have the Fall's most unlikely rom-com.
2013-09-08 04:33:19 PM  
2 votes:

seventypercent: Another Ponderception.

I haven't seen a Christian get slaughtered by Lions like this since... hmm, nothing is coming to mind.


Link
2013-09-08 03:58:17 PM  
2 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

Waldorf: You did you think about that Steelers game?
Statler: I didn't like it. 
Waldorf: What did the avocado think? 
Avocado: It's the pits.
2013-09-08 03:49:42 PM  
2 votes:
Pryor remembered at the last second that he plays for the Raiders
2013-09-08 03:49:10 PM  
2 votes:
Fark it, forgive me guys.

nflhumor.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 03:40:18 PM  
2 votes:
You don't see that often. A Colts superfan was in a costume so ridiculous that the raiders superfan a couple rows behind him seemed less stupid.
2013-09-08 03:36:00 PM  
2 votes:
According to FOX, The Lions are playing the Adrian Petersons
2013-09-08 03:32:55 PM  
2 votes:
Who'da think that benching Marshawn Lynch and playing Joique Bell would turn out so well.

/just kidding, I played Lynch
2013-09-08 03:00:04 PM  
2 votes:
I think fark is broken. It keeps making it look like you guys are saying that Buffalo is beating New England. But that just can't be true.
2013-09-08 02:50:31 PM  
2 votes:
i987.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:57:31 PM  
2 votes:

Bunny Deville: Good god, Reid looks like he's been in KC eating alllllllll the barbecue. Jesus christ. Like, maybe a pig per day.


mikeshredder.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:41:48 PM  
2 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: GABBERTCEPTION! BRANDON FLOWERS!


Yo Gabbert Gabbert?
2013-09-08 01:39:57 PM  
2 votes:
img.photobucket.comView Full Size


STILL RELEVANT
2013-09-08 01:34:45 PM  
2 votes:

CipollinaFan: smerfnablin: Why are the bears burning all their timeouts in the first quarter?!

They must have infinite timeouts in the CFL


They only have three, but if you call an extra one then say you're "Soory", the officials will be nice and let you have it anyway.
2013-09-08 01:21:09 PM  
2 votes:

smerfnablin: Tom Brady and jay cutler just threw the exact same touchdown pass to the exact same part of the end zone at the exact same time

How is this possible?!


oh oh oh! I know this one: they were in different stadiums at the time and you don't bury survivors.
also Satan.
2013-09-08 01:16:43 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:16:17 PM  
2 votes:

FuLinHyu: Be back in a bit (daughter wants ice cream and dad is a sucker so....)


thegloss.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:12:06 PM  
2 votes:
Just in case you all missed it -- thanks @NFL_Memes

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 01:10:23 PM  
2 votes:

Lt. Cheese Weasel: My Sunday TIcket just went *poof*


It turned into Bravo?
2013-09-08 12:46:57 PM  
2 votes:

knbber2: Must be cold in that interview, Kaepernick wearing hipster douchebag ski cap.


Does it have a Dolphins logo on it?
2013-09-08 12:39:26 PM  
2 votes:

dickfreckle: Bunny Deville: Trying to decide whether to go to the sports bar, or just go down to the man cave and watch the game by, shall we say, dubious means. The sports bar has good beer and fried food, but the basement means I don't have to leave the house.

The basement does not require pants.


GOOD CALL!!

On a related note, I'm not sure how I feel about myself now that I took off my pants at the suggestions of an internet person named "dickfreckle".
2013-09-08 12:09:18 PM  
2 votes:
No
No
Teabagception?

Also
blogs.baylor.eduView Full Size
2013-09-09 04:33:54 AM  
1 vote:

Captain Steroid: My picks for today go as follows:

- Patriots kill the Bills, try to blame Aaron Hernandez.

- Bengals maul DAAAA' Bears!

- Dolphins leave the "Factory of Sadness" smelling like tuna.

- AP runs over the Lions. Oh, and some guys from Minnesota help, too. I guess.

- GO OTHER PONIES! XD

- Breesus dines on Falcon.

- Buccaneers pillage New Jersey.

- The Steel Curtain falls on Tennessee.

- Seattle beats Carolina, smells like teen spirit.

- Chiefs and Jags are swallowed by a Florida sinkhole, never to plague mankind again.

- The St. Louis Rams top the Arizona Cardinals, marking a rare occasion that St. Louis cheers a Cardinal team getting their asses whupped.

- Aaron Rodgers takes THE CAKE, shoves it up Jim Harbaugh's whiny ass. >:-)

- Eli and the Giants destroy Jerry Jones' team in Dallas, officially rechristen Cowboy Stadium as Meadowlands West.


Wow, I hope you didn't have too much money on those picks.
2013-09-08 11:47:27 PM  
1 vote:

mikaloyd: Id give the game ball to the Cowboys defense


I'd give the game ball to David Wilson
2013-09-08 11:36:16 PM  
1 vote:
Oooh, lucky Tony Romo gets to talk to Michelle...Collinsworth getting a little flirty.
2013-09-08 11:35:33 PM  
1 vote:
Cool, real football teams next week.

/but not sure what's going on with Seattle
2013-09-08 11:35:15 PM  
1 vote:
Well New York you can still root for the Yankees for a few more days this year.
2013-09-08 11:34:00 PM  
1 vote:

seventypercent: WHAT THE FARKING HELL ROSEANNE BARR PROVO UTAH PIECE OF BUFFALO CHICKEN LASAGNA FARKING WHORE

WAY TO GO


I have no idea what you just said or what that meant...but it made me laugh anyway, because you are awesome.  :)
2013-09-08 11:33:51 PM  
1 vote:
chicitysportsfan.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 11:32:32 PM  
1 vote:
It's okay, Eli! The bright side is that now you have enough time left that you can throw another one!
2013-09-08 11:32:22 PM  
1 vote:

JerseyTim: Di Atribe: TheManofPA: JerseyTim: I feel like this "there's no one I'd rather have than Eli" talk always jinxes him. It only works when they don't bring it up.

Yes, but talking about how the talk jinxes him, jinxes the jinx

Then I jinx the jinxing of the jinx! KAPOW!

This is more confusing than Back to the Future 2.


It's your kids MARTY
2013-09-08 11:31:43 PM  
1 vote:
WHAT THE FARKING HELL ROSEANNE BARR PROVO UTAH PIECE OF BUFFALO CHICKEN LASAGNA FARKING WHORE

WAY TO GO
2013-09-08 11:31:34 PM  
1 vote:
Eli with the game winning touchdown pass!
2013-09-08 11:31:30 PM  
1 vote:
i36.photobucket.comView Full Size

2013-09-08 11:30:34 PM  
1 vote:
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 11:30:29 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: my lip balm addiction: Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.

He's my favorite player on my favorite team. I think I get to stick up for him when people are wrong about him.

And winning in the playoffs is a team accomplishment. He can't do it on his own, no matter how much he leads and pushes. He is not the entire team.

If you don't like me, then put me on ignore. I'm not going away & I'm not going to stop "over-fellating" him.


So, is the opposite of "over-fellating" over-castrating?  And really is their such a thing as over-fellating?  Perhaps a study can be put together to determine an inappropriate level of fellatio?
2013-09-08 11:29:21 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: my lip balm addiction: Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.

He's my favorite player on my favorite team. I think I get to stick up for him when people are wrong about him.

And winning in the playoffs is a team accomplishment. He can't do it on his own, no matter how much he leads and pushes. He is not the entire team.

If you don't like me, then put me on ignore. I'm not going away & I'm not going to stop "over-fellating" him.


careful with that.  Over-fellating can easily lead to lip balm addiction.  That is a dark dragon to chase my friend.
2013-09-08 11:28:55 PM  
1 vote:

phantomht: Di Atribe: phantomht: shoulda left Orton in.

:P

What a horrible ting to say :P

i know, i know.
im just not as big a romo fan as some.


That's cool, but Orton is not the answer. He's never the answer unless the question is, "Who should we avoid putting in the game?"
2013-09-08 11:27:33 PM  
1 vote:
Simms jinx!
2013-09-08 11:26:23 PM  
1 vote:
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the Giants won 31-30? I think it would.
2013-09-08 11:25:49 PM  
1 vote:

JerseyTim: Huge tackle.


Thanks.

*Zips pants*
2013-09-08 11:22:14 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Sunrazor: I'm am a proud Chiefs fan, I know a little bit about a drought, but my team is never touted as a team to watch year in and year out. It is popular to hate the Boys but that is only because we are force fed them constantly and it is a backlash, naturally. But just know that I enjoy their failings and flailings, but it comes from a deep, dark place in my heart, and not just because it is the cool thing to do.

If you hate things that are "force fed" to you, then you should really be hating the Patriots. "They" don't tout the Cowboys as the team to watch NEARLY as much as you think. In fact, most talking heads do nothing but pick at them & find any way they can to put Romo down by ignoring everything he does well in lieu of showing his every fark up over & over again.

But ok, hate them all you want. Just know that your reasons are stupid.


Oh, believe, I dislike the Patriots as well, but they aren't currently playing.  But you misunderstand.  I have hated them since I watched football.  I guess if anything, I hated them before it was cool.  I do not hate them because of the reasons that you quoted.  I hate them because of the reamings they gave the AFC in their Super Bowls, I hate them because I hate them.  And talk about be rude and condescending...
2013-09-08 11:22:01 PM  
1 vote:

my lip balm addiction: Di Atribe: Sunrazor: I'm am a proud Chiefs fan, I know a little bit about a drought, but my team is never touted as a team to watch year in and year out. It is popular to hate the Boys but that is only because we are force fed them constantly and it is a backlash, naturally. But just know that I enjoy their failings and flailings, but it comes from a deep, dark place in my heart, and not just because it is the cool thing to do.

If you hate things that are "force fed" to you, then you should really be hating the Patriots. "They" don't tout the Cowboys as the team to watch NEARLY as much as you think. In fact, most talking heads do nothing but pick at them & find any way they can to put Romo down by ignoring everything he does well in lieu of showing his every fark up over & over again.

But ok, hate them all you want. Just know that your reasons are stupid.

Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.


Damn this is getting a bit personal
2013-09-08 11:20:54 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Sunrazor: I'm am a proud Chiefs fan, I know a little bit about a drought, but my team is never touted as a team to watch year in and year out. It is popular to hate the Boys but that is only because we are force fed them constantly and it is a backlash, naturally. But just know that I enjoy their failings and flailings, but it comes from a deep, dark place in my heart, and not just because it is the cool thing to do.

If you hate things that are "force fed" to you, then you should really be hating the Patriots. "They" don't tout the Cowboys as the team to watch NEARLY as much as you think. In fact, most talking heads do nothing but pick at them & find any way they can to put Romo down by ignoring everything he does well in lieu of showing his every fark up over & over again.

But ok, hate them all you want. Just know that your reasons are stupid.


Just know that your reasons for loving Romo are just as stupid and retarded. Quarterbacks and "leaders" in other sports who break team records but can't do jack shiat in the playoffs and never make it to a championship are a dime a dozen. Your constant over-fellating of the guy and his shiatty team that he can't lead worth a damn is getting a little old.
2013-09-08 11:20:38 PM  
1 vote:
Hockey game!
2013-09-08 11:20:28 PM  
1 vote:
Fight!
2013-09-08 11:17:39 PM  
1 vote:

kteela: Nah, this game is over. Y'all make me laugh and stuff, but I've got to pay attn to this calamity of a game so I can bring some real trash talk to work tomorrow, get the dog out and hit the hay. Di's the biggest person in the thread, always, I don't mind. I'm chill.


I sincerely thank you for your inadvertent jinx.
2013-09-08 11:13:22 PM  
1 vote:

TheManofPA: Any chance Wilson gets back in the game. For shiats and giggles


Id pay to see him fumble again. Coughlins entire face would leap off his skull in anger
2013-09-08 11:12:09 PM  
1 vote:
images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2013-09-08 11:11:54 PM  
1 vote:
I smell a Romoception coming.  Or maybe it was the dog.
2013-09-08 11:08:07 PM  
1 vote:
This Van Damme pan flute commercial is so deranged that it makes Naked Lunch read like Everybody Poops.
2013-09-08 11:01:49 PM  
1 vote:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Polish Hussar: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Since when, do they give an IV for cramps?

Cramps can be caused by dehydration.  IV's are a common method for rapidly rehydrating a person

So how the hell do you get dehydrated in an air-conditioned 72 degree stadium, when you've worked for approximately seven minutes? Drink a Gatorade, for chrissakes!


Air conditioning makes dry air, heavy sweating, machismo making you not want to drink, idk

You're talking about a group of people who turn their heads to jelly for fun.
2013-09-08 10:52:17 PM  
1 vote:
LEAVE RONY TOMO ALONE
2013-09-08 10:51:36 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: JerseyTim: Someone just posted this to my Facebook news feed:

Anyone who complains about status of football on Sunday can suck it. I have to sit through 365 days seeing people complain about their co workers, parking spots, bad moods, headaches, depressed feelings, traffic, weather. Eat a big bowl of screw

I love this. Seriously. There were way too many "I don't care about football" posts today. Then just go outside. It's not like it's some huge surprise that football is on Sundays.


Ya know, I wholeheartedly agree, but also, I think parity and the shortened off-season is making it tougher for teams to be the "well oiled machines" of some of the past dynasties, and that leads to the comedy of follies we've seen today. Hey listen, I'm a jets fan, and if we're gonna suck, I'm at least happy we're sucking out loud. When the NFL isn't amazing, its hilarious. You can't say that about any of the other big four.
2013-09-08 10:50:23 PM  
1 vote:
Commercial?  Or not?  Who cares?  NSFW    NSFW
2013-09-08 10:41:22 PM  
1 vote:

ddam: Romo has so much time in the pocket, he could read a whole book.


4NSpy: Romo has so much time in the pocket, he could learn to read.


The order of these makes it funnier
2013-09-08 10:38:43 PM  
1 vote:
Dis game is over
2013-09-08 10:38:29 PM  
1 vote:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This may be the worst football game I've ever seen. Since 1967.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 10:37:46 PM  
1 vote:
New Yorkers are praying that "Heidi" interrupts this game.
2013-09-08 10:32:32 PM  
1 vote:

my lip balm addiction: Earguy: Commercial.    I'm adjusting to go with the running theme of the game.   SFW thanks to censorship
NSFW

That "not now kitty" one is awesome!


Even better, NSFW
2013-09-08 10:27:51 PM  
1 vote:
Why do I get a feeling the Microsoft phone is the worst of the 3?
2013-09-08 10:26:57 PM  
1 vote:

Flying Lasagna Monster: So the NBC live feed isn't working in Firefox.  Or Chrome.  Or IE.  I can still download porn, so it's not my internet connection that's the problem.



skatesafaritours.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 10:26:16 PM  
1 vote:
Commentators said the Tony Romo just had the "wind knocked out of him." That's got to be true considering that he blows.
2013-09-08 10:25:01 PM  
1 vote:

Bunny Deville: yookaloco: Between his age, his crazy temper, and high obvious signs of high blood pressure, Coughlin has to be leading the current NFL head coach dead pool. Yes, even more than Andy Reid.

Did you SEE Andy Reid today? He looked like he ate a light breakfast of half a manatee, followed by a second breakfast of a barrel of spiced lard, and then topped off with a lunch of several small children topped with cheese.


He's dieting?
2013-09-08 10:24:28 PM  
1 vote:

yookaloco: Between his age, his crazy temper, and high obvious signs of high blood pressure, Coughlin has to be leading the current NFL head coach dead pool. Yes, even more than Andy Reid.


Did you SEE Andy Reid today? He looked like he ate a light breakfast of half a manatee, followed by a second breakfast of a barrel of spiced lard, and then topped off with a lunch of several small children topped with cheese.
2013-09-08 10:22:40 PM  
1 vote:
[I was on the can when David Wilson's play occurred. Please pretend these were posted in a more timely fashion.]

media.tumblr.comView Full Size
media.tumblr.comView Full Size

imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-09-08 10:22:02 PM  
1 vote:

thecpt: David Wilson. Future hall of famer.

Butterfingers lifetime achievement award


There's a TIki wing in Canton now?
2013-09-08 10:21:09 PM  
1 vote:
Coach "Worst half of football i've seen in my life"

Way to Jinx yourself
2013-09-08 10:20:17 PM  
1 vote:
I guess Dallas can win this one with just the D alone. Seriously, Giants. I've seen more offensive output from Amy Grant and Pat Boone doing a benefit concert in front of a bunch of underprivileged kindergarteners in Victorian England.
2013-09-08 10:19:47 PM  
1 vote:
Tom Coughlin is going to hate drink the fark out of his Metamucil tomorrow morning.
2013-09-08 10:17:47 PM  
1 vote:
Wilson should just change his name to Voit.
2013-09-08 10:17:20 PM  
1 vote:

JerseyTim: That french fry burger looks about as big as a silver dollar.


I'm a bit slow, my first reaction was "Wow, those are giant fries!"
2013-09-08 10:17:13 PM  
1 vote:
LOL! Giants coughlin it up!
2013-09-08 10:09:17 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:54:44 PM  
1 vote:
The Cowboys chances at making a deep playoff run may have just improved.
2013-09-08 09:54:41 PM  
1 vote:
The Tony Romo Era
The Kyle Orton Era
2013-09-08 09:54:14 PM  
1 vote:
Bold move by Kyle Orton to combine Dave Grohl's beard with Hulk Hogan's hair.
2013-09-08 09:50:59 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Out of all the dudes I touch myself over, you pick him? He's Bunny's boyfriend, man.


Bunny's generous when it comes to Kluwe - she shares, whether she knows it or not.  :P
2013-09-08 09:50:05 PM  
1 vote:
Boy, they really put their heads together on that play!
2013-09-08 09:46:50 PM  
1 vote:
The Michael J. Fox Show? I suppose I'll give it a fair shake.
2013-09-08 09:40:44 PM  
1 vote:
Dan Connor is hurt. The injury dates back to the motorcycle repair shop he ran in Illinois in the early 90s.
2013-09-08 09:40:01 PM  
1 vote:
Didn't Dan Conner have a heart attack back in the 90s?

mentalfloss.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:34:14 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Primitive Screwhead: Those Dallas "D" hats gotta go.

I dislike them, as well. Stars, or spell out "Cowboys," I mean, COME ON


I look at them & think "knock-off Tigers hat"
2013-09-08 09:28:20 PM  
1 vote:

JerseyTim: Fun fact: Eli and Peyton Manning have combined for seven TDs in week one.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:23:07 PM  
1 vote:

Gonz: This game is setting back offensive football by 65 years.


Oh, it's definitely offensive.
2013-09-08 09:17:55 PM  
1 vote:
So what Calvin does best is almost catch TDs?
2013-09-08 09:15:25 PM  
1 vote:
Off to bed and witness this mess at least in comfort.
2013-09-08 09:14:50 PM  
1 vote:

xaks: Part of me is all


kombetare.alView Full Size
2013-09-08 09:12:52 PM  
1 vote:
"The NFC east is wide open"

A euphemism for how much the division sucks.
2013-09-08 09:02:36 PM  
1 vote:
I would eat cheesecake out of the ass of the chick in the Wendy's commercial.
2013-09-08 09:01:27 PM  
1 vote:
I think David Wilson wants Coughlin to cut him at halftime.
2013-09-08 09:01:00 PM  
1 vote:
W. T. F.

What am I watching?
2013-09-08 08:59:52 PM  
1 vote:
It's Eli vs Romo -- south park cripple fight played out in real life...
2013-09-08 08:59:42 PM  
1 vote:
we've secretly replaced this game with Vikings-Lions. let's see if anybody notices
2013-09-08 08:59:27 PM  
1 vote:
There's a show on tonight about a guy with a debilitating disease and unreliable partners.

Or you can watch Breaking Bad.
2013-09-08 08:59:13 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: RINO: Hm, Eli Manning leads the league in turnovers. But Romo is an interception machine, right?

Numbers don't really MEAN anything! What you see on SportsCenter is all that really matters.


QUIT JINXING HIM!
2013-09-08 08:59:00 PM  
1 vote:
WHAT THE FARK ARE WE WATCHING????
2013-09-08 08:58:51 PM  
1 vote:
LULS
2013-09-08 08:56:32 PM  
1 vote:
Waldorf:Do you think we'll be entertained?
Statler: I will... I'm spiking Cris Collinsworth's drink!
2013-09-08 08:52:20 PM  
1 vote:

seventypercent: We've secretly replaced Eli Manning with Chelsea Manning. Let's see if anybody notices.


Well, it is a leaky offense.
2013-09-08 08:51:55 PM  
1 vote:
Go home Eli, you're drunk!
2013-09-08 08:51:24 PM  
1 vote:
I don't know what I'm watching anymore.
2013-09-08 08:51:18 PM  
1 vote:

kteela: Hi becks!

I can't root for either team, sadly.  As long as at least one of them loses, I'll be happy.


Hey kteela, good to see you!  That's what we call a "meteor game" in my house.  ;)
2013-09-08 08:51:07 PM  
1 vote:
Two!  Two Junior Manningceptions!

entropy2.comView Full Size


/ah ah ah
2013-09-08 08:50:32 PM  
1 vote:
HA!

We've secretly replaced the NY Giants offense with Western Kentucky, let's see if anyone notices.
2013-09-08 08:50:21 PM  
1 vote:
media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 08:49:59 PM  
1 vote:
Is this real life?
2013-09-08 08:49:49 PM  
1 vote:
This game has gone full potato!
2013-09-08 08:47:52 PM  
1 vote:

Earguy: PluckYew: Earguy: steamingpile: Lord of Allusions: This Toyota commercial reminds me how awful music is now.

Hey dubstep is happenin'!

Meanwhile, they illustrate the 80s with the Axel Foley theme...lots of other ways to go with it.

Thought is was Herbie Hancock's Rock it.  Wasn't paying close attention though

Might be.  Yeah, I think you're right.  Anyway.  I gotta start looking for something to distract me from the commercials.  You know how I get.


I like how you get when there are commercials.
2013-09-08 08:44:34 PM  
1 vote:
Fireworks in the Stadjum:

i27.photobucket.comView Full Size


About as far as they get, if memory serves correctly.

Also, I about sliced off the tip of one of my fingers making pico de gallo, so I'm typing like derp.
2013-09-08 08:44:29 PM  
1 vote:

Lord of Allusions: This Toyota commercial reminds me how awful music is now.


Remember when we used that kind of music to poke fun at the future? Like, in the future we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits, meals will be pills, and the music will sound like fax machines.
2013-09-08 08:42:39 PM  
1 vote:
This Toyota commercial reminds me how awful music is now.
2013-09-08 08:42:19 PM  
1 vote:
Fumble, Gnats.


img12.imageshack.usView Full Size

2013-09-08 08:41:57 PM  
1 vote:
Once they replaced the roof hole, the astroturf started dying.
2013-09-08 08:39:59 PM  
1 vote:
Running game? What's that?
2013-09-08 08:34:38 PM  
1 vote:
SHUT UP COLLINSWORTH IT WAS A PERFECT THROW
2013-09-08 08:33:30 PM  
1 vote:
carwoo.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 08:32:48 PM  
1 vote:
Mention the 7 TDs...god, how great would it be if Eli threw 7 picks?
2013-09-08 08:32:28 PM  
1 vote:
Wait, wait...the jurrah dome is closed. Why are they lighting off fireworks if everyone's inside?
2013-09-08 08:31:31 PM  
1 vote:
Just saw this on my facebook feed:
d3fsqtc6sy2z27.cloudfront.netView Full Size

Even as a Pats fan, that's pretty good.

\still want to go to the courthouse next time Aaron's there and biatchslap anyone who screams "We love you Aaron!"
\\it's ten minutes from me
\\\and it's actually a nice place, especially compared to what it replaced
2013-09-08 08:29:22 PM  
1 vote:
Well, the intro was pathetic like I figured it would be. Of course, I only heard the autotune for 2 seconds before slapping the mute button.

*sigh*

At least Collinswoth is starting...well, only a LITTLE stoned, by the sound of it so fa...

...

...

i624.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 08:28:52 PM  
1 vote:
theunticket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 08:27:23 PM  
1 vote:
I was unaware Faith Hill was no longer Ms. Sunday Night. I guess I took my pants off for nothin'.
2013-09-08 08:24:25 PM  
1 vote:
My ex just called, ordering me to come pick up our daughter, even though I told him loud & clear that if they were getting back into town after 7, he'd have to drop her off. He made about 10 excuses & all I said was, "NOOOOOOOOPE BYE!"

lol what a dummy
2013-09-08 08:24:09 PM  
1 vote:
The off-pitch sound is annoying. WHAR FAITH HOOKERBOOTS WHAR
2013-09-08 08:08:07 PM  
1 vote:
"Hi ho! Kermit The Blonde here, reporting from San Francisco.."
2013-09-08 08:03:01 PM  
1 vote:

TheManofPA: AdamK: IAmRight: WTF @ mouth-breather guy behind her.

national clownshoes day

It'd been like this since they retired the buttfumble on Thursday. By getting rid of that much concentrated clownshoes, the ripple effect is too large. I'm half-expecting 450 yards and 3 TDs for Romo before he runs into his own teammate and gets hurt for 5 weeks.


img823.imageshack.usView Full Size


Speaking of Clownshoes, mine are bloody.  woooooo
2013-09-08 07:55:45 PM  
1 vote:
WTF @ mouth-breather guy behind her.
2013-09-08 07:55:42 PM  
1 vote:
Ummm. PLease tell me someone screen capped the bearded guy?!!
2013-09-08 07:53:37 PM  
1 vote:
Really psyched for tonight's game in East Rutherford, TX.
2013-09-08 07:51:50 PM  
1 vote:
I'm spent. I'll see you guys later! :-)

i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 07:46:52 PM  
1 vote:

smerfnablin: I just saw the chiefs slaughtered the Jags 28-2

They bench gabbart?

And did he win the delhomme meter?


I guess you could say it was.....

*puts on sunglasses*

Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe

YYYYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
2013-09-08 07:37:05 PM  
1 vote:

robsul82: 27-24 St. Louis, FINAL

Overcame a 24-13 second half deficit.


I like to phrase it as "St. Louis beats the Cardinals" to f*ck with baseball people.

/Kaepernick and Wilson each post their first 300+ yard passing games on the same day
2013-09-08 07:24:13 PM  
1 vote:
KNEEL BEFORE CLAY
2013-09-08 07:19:58 PM  
1 vote:
i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 07:15:37 PM  
1 vote:
Oh, for the love of Marky Mark.
2013-09-08 07:14:28 PM  
1 vote:
BY GOLLY MY CHEVY IS MURRICAN AND SO IS JESUS AND MY WIFE
2013-09-08 07:14:22 PM  
1 vote:
I had Boldin in my benchSAFARKOAJHASASHHHHHHHH
2013-09-08 07:04:36 PM  
1 vote:
TIED GAME AZ 24 - STL 24
seejanepublish.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

2013-09-08 07:02:50 PM  
1 vote:

xaks: I think we stay here Di, but dont' take my word for it.


We found LeVar Burton's fark handle.
2013-09-08 06:52:52 PM  
1 vote:

dickfreckle: Whose dick do I gotta suck to get an honest kick return? Jesus.


Careful blowing Jesus.  He comes quickly (Rev. 22:12).
2013-09-08 06:51:09 PM  
1 vote:
Whose dick do I gotta suck to get an honest kick return? Jesus.
2013-09-08 06:48:15 PM  
1 vote:
USPS: We're still relevant, no really!
2013-09-08 06:47:39 PM  
1 vote:
I want Grill Class.
2013-09-08 06:47:04 PM  
1 vote:
2013-09-08 06:46:03 PM  
1 vote:
TOUCHDOWN
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


2013-09-08 06:38:48 PM  
1 vote:
Now, I just need to understand the DelhommeTM rating system. Seems a heck of a lot more accurate than the ESPN thing.
2013-09-08 06:36:13 PM  
1 vote:

picodenico: Aezetyr: New to Fark's Football threads. You guys/gals/whathaveyou are hilarious.

You'll never be able to watch sports again without threads.


i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 06:27:30 PM  
1 vote:
21-14 Niners!

i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 06:18:02 PM  
1 vote:

picodenico: eddievercetti: pbs.twimg.com

OH HOLY HELL WTF


i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 06:16:56 PM  
1 vote:

eddievercetti: pbs.twimg.com


OH HOLY HELL WTF
2013-09-08 06:06:45 PM  
1 vote:
i22.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 06:05:02 PM  
1 vote:
HALFTIME IN SAN FRANCISCO!
30.media.tumblr.comView Full Size


2013-09-08 05:55:01 PM  
1 vote:
If this is a simultaneous possesion AGAIN, I'm gonna shoot someone
2013-09-08 05:50:05 PM  
1 vote:

IAmRight: Yes, Papa John's, Peyton Manning is known for QB sneaks. God I hate you and your sh*tty commercials and your sh*ttier pizza.


Papa John does so much cocaine he can no longer blink.  Just watch the commercials, his eyes are glued open.
2013-09-08 05:47:07 PM  
1 vote:
"Clay Matthews has been all over the field, too"...hell, he's been hitting off the field, too.
2013-09-08 05:47:03 PM  
1 vote:
TWO MINUTE WARNING!

i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:39:36 PM  
1 vote:
i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:35:00 PM  
1 vote:

ramen_for_all: [i.imgur.com image 499x666]


Mmmmmmm


i.qkme.meView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:32:30 PM  
1 vote:

robsul82: First down, nice catch STL


Dammit, rob, you Jaked my gredunza.
2013-09-08 05:32:25 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size



Mmmmmmm
2013-09-08 05:28:50 PM  
1 vote:
Reenactment of fight in SF.

i306.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:24:05 PM  
1 vote:
Damn, I was outside supervising the husbands and I missed a fight? Came back in just in time for that touchdown, though.

/they're about to pressure wash the windows
//I think they're gonna break them
2013-09-08 05:22:57 PM  
1 vote:

RminusQ: [insert "Clay Matthews fathead" joke here]


31.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:21:25 PM  
1 vote:
I'm watching football and a hockey game broke out!
2013-09-08 05:16:13 PM  
1 vote:

whenIsayGO: LucklessWonder: Did the Jets really win?

They didn't so much win, as the Bucs lost.


The graphic of the celebrating Jets fans that read something like "WE WON ON A PENALTY, SUPER BOWL BABY!" was rather hilarious.
2013-09-08 05:11:35 PM  
1 vote:
So if I get Sunday Ticket, I become a SuperGiant?
2013-09-08 05:07:39 PM  
1 vote:

robsul82: Pouncey and Foote are "assumed by Tomlin" to be done for the year, if nobody else mentioned that.


Becks, Sarcastica, Dan and geom all moaned in agony just now.
2013-09-08 05:06:11 PM  
1 vote:

JayCab: How the hell does the CENTER commit a false start? Dammit, Goodwin.


The ball frightened him...
2013-09-08 05:04:59 PM  
1 vote:
END OF 1!

i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 05:02:56 PM  
1 vote:

eddievercetti: Yeah Dominos, I don't think the greatest ideas were made while eating your pizza.


The best idea I've had while eating Dominos was "Next time I'm not going to order dominos"
2013-09-08 04:59:34 PM  
1 vote:
Somewhere that dude on the 99 Titans just cried a solitary tear.
2013-09-08 04:58:24 PM  
1 vote:
Ah, so the Packers CAN have a running game, it just requires Rodgers to throw the ball rather than handing it off.
2013-09-08 04:57:05 PM  
1 vote:

xaks: Heh. Even Joe Shoepisser break's Harbaugh's balls for trying to lambast the refs. Love the ref hollering 'NO!' over and over.


ih0.redbubble.netView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:52:24 PM  
1 vote:
I'm gonna grub and wash some animal skins.  Be back for the Sunday Dessert tonight.
imageshack.usView Full Size


Tonight, we start for 6.
2013-09-08 04:48:04 PM  
1 vote:
Yup, that's the Lambs.
2013-09-08 04:43:05 PM  
1 vote:
My mom: "Clay Matthews is knocking people down."
Me: "That's his job, Mom."
2013-09-08 04:38:14 PM  
1 vote:
I wish Rex would walk into the press conference and say "How do y'all like me now, c*ntbuckets?"
2013-09-08 04:36:07 PM  
1 vote:
Serious question:


Is Miami that good?

Or is Cleveland that bad?
2013-09-08 04:32:34 PM  
1 vote:

robsul82: Delhomme Leaderboard at Sunday Afternoon

Brandon Weeden, Delhomme RatingTM - 50.0 (3 INT)

*CURRENTLY CALIBRATING...*

Aaron Rodgers, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0
Carson Palmer, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0
Colin Kaepernick, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0
Sam Bradford, Delhomme RatingTM - 0.0


i1182.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:32:33 PM  
1 vote:
farm6.staticflickr.comView Full Size



/just made it after the jets win/bucs forfeit/whatever
2013-09-08 04:31:58 PM  
1 vote:
Decided to come back into the thread. Just imagine that I'm wearing a paper bag. Hopefully Green Bay won't embarrass me as much as the Jags and Steelers did.
2013-09-08 04:29:34 PM  
1 vote:

VvonderJesus: HeathenHealer: This is going to be a long year for Minnesota. I'm guessing Ponder will not be starting by week 5.

Week 5 is the bye, so week 6 is Cassel. Though by week 3 it should be Cassel, and week 6 MBT


And week 8 Tebow
2013-09-08 04:27:13 PM  
1 vote:
Somewhere Danny Trevathan breathes a sigh of relief
2013-09-08 04:22:04 PM  
1 vote:
The Detroit clownshoes are now being borrowed by Tampa Bay.
2013-09-08 04:21:57 PM  
1 vote:
Jets fail upward.
2013-09-08 04:21:46 PM  
1 vote:
Hai guyz what did I WTF BUCS?! o_O
2013-09-08 04:20:49 PM  
1 vote:
Ahoy football friends!

Just got done canning 5 jars of salsa, and prepping for canning more sauce, whole tomatoes, and Bloody Mary mixes after the game. But for now, I rest.

Because GO PACKERS!!!!

/please don't get embarrassed again
2013-09-08 04:19:11 PM  
1 vote:
sportsmemes.netView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:18:35 PM  
1 vote:
Who's that woman talking to Geno Smith on the sideline? Whoops, that's Sanchez.
2013-09-08 04:13:09 PM  
1 vote:
Damn, gonna be some wife beatings tonight in Buffalo.
2013-09-08 04:13:01 PM  
1 vote:
Bills I hate you for making me care
2013-09-08 04:13:00 PM  
1 vote:
They are who we thought they were
2013-09-08 04:12:46 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:11:08 PM  
1 vote:
memecrunch.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 04:04:39 PM  
1 vote:

mikaloyd: mooseyfate: mikaloyd: SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN SAINTS WIN

WHO DAT!

WHO DAT!


badnewsbanker.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Who?
2013-09-08 04:04:27 PM  
1 vote:

Jim from Saint Paul: Ok Ponder. Here it is. your chance to shut people, including me, up. for a little while. 3:30 min TD drive.

Give The D a chance to finally make a real stop.


Hurt myself laughing.
2013-09-08 04:02:19 PM  
1 vote:

robsul82: THE JETS ARE WINNING?!?


It's against Tampa Bay so it doesn't count.
2013-09-08 04:01:03 PM  
1 vote:

Tom_Slick: Damn it Ryan, and the rest of the damn team. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.  Will we see another winning seasons from the Falcons? Damn, Damn, Damn, off to find my old Steelers Jersey I can't deal with another season of this


Umm...I'm guessing you didn't see them get stomped by Tennessee just now.

/or you did and thatsthejoke.jpg
//I might be a little drunk
2013-09-08 04:00:43 PM  
1 vote:
Statler: That Saints game drove me to the edge of my seat.
Waldorf: That explains how you got your drivers licence.
2013-09-08 03:59:30 PM  
1 vote:
Damn it Ryan, and the rest of the damn team. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn.  Will we see another winning seasons from the Falcons? Damn, Damn, Damn, off to find my old Steelers Jersey I can't deal with another season of this
2013-09-08 03:58:45 PM  
1 vote:
Man... Billy Connoly looks happy on the Saints sideline.
2013-09-08 03:57:45 PM  
1 vote:

geom_00: YAY!!  THE TITANS ARE SO HAPPY THEIR SKIPPING!!


SORRY FOR THE GRAMMATICAL ERROR
2013-09-08 03:57:15 PM  
1 vote:
Ryan-ception.

Holy crap, Aints-Failcons is insane.
2013-09-08 03:50:38 PM  
1 vote:

vegaswench: Congrats, Colts fans.

Hey, at least the Raiders made it interesting for a while.


25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-09-08 03:50:34 PM  
1 vote:

becksellent: What is that, a Steelers first down?  I mean, not that it'll matter at this stage...but still kinda nice to see.


jackwyrick.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


2 points?  2 g*damn points?

You can't say that on the tv..

No one is watching.
2013-09-08 03:48:27 PM  
1 vote:
"What d'ye think o' the game, Vikings?"

"Eeeeee, it were like sup'n hot lead."
2013-09-08 03:47:59 PM  
1 vote:
This MIN-DET game is like watching a bunch of 5th grade retards.
2013-09-08 03:44:49 PM  
1 vote:
8 games within a single possession now.

This is why Jesus gave us the Red Zone Channel.
2013-09-08 03:42:05 PM  
1 vote:
Dammit, Panthers!
2013-09-08 03:40:48 PM  
1 vote:
Jets/Bucs announcer says without irony, "We've got ourselves a barn-burner."

If by that you mean, we should burn the barn both of these teams are in, then yes.
2013-09-08 03:40:40 PM  
1 vote:
Well, the Steelers are done for the day. Time to switch over to the Carolina game...

AW, FARK!
2013-09-08 03:37:45 PM  
1 vote:
FUMBLE DeANGELO WILLAIAMS!! SEATTLE RECOVERY!
2013-09-08 03:37:42 PM  
1 vote:

JayCab: You're right, it should have been Unnecessary Roughness for grabbing a helmet opening and twisting.


Meh, it's okay if it's Cam Newton - f*ck that guy.

FUMBLE SEAHAWKS RECOVER HAHAHAHAHA
2013-09-08 03:35:54 PM  
1 vote:
Somewhere, somehow, Bill Cowher is looking like this.

fc05.deviantart.netView Full Size
2013-09-08 03:35:10 PM  
1 vote:

wombatsrus: Why do folks think Luck is slow?


He's white
2013-09-08 03:35:08 PM  
1 vote: </