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(io9)   No, you can't go back in time and kill Hitler. Not yours   (io9.com) divider line 107
    More: Amusing, Hitler, Invisible Woman, John Scalzi, International Association of Educators, time machines  
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6146 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Sep 2013 at 12:17 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-07 10:37:40 PM  
His Life is a Fixed Event in Time

"No Time Like the Past" (The Twilight Zone): Paul Driscoll is a well-meaning but ineffectual time traveler. Not only does he fail to kill Hitler (thanks to the intervention of a suspicious maid), he also fails to warn the Hiroshima police about the atomic bomb and fails to keep the Lusitania from being torpedoed. It turns out that he is unable to change past events, and, when he does effect events in the past, it is only as part of a predestination paradox.


That was always my time travel theory.  No matter what you try, the past is set and unchangeable.
 
2013-09-07 10:46:23 PM  
Not having Hitler to kick around opens other cans of worms.

1.  No technology boom that was the direct result of the WW2 arms race, and the later Cold War i.e. radar, computers, jet engines, atomic energy, etc.
2.  No incentive for the USA to become a military superpower, which would keep the USSR from annexing western Europe.
3.  A completely intact Japanese empire that hasn't been cured of its bloodlust.
4.  A Nazi Party without Hitler.  Who knows what the hell they might do?  Exterminate all non-Aryans within its own borders while an impotent League Of Nations politely asked them to stop?  A Party leader who doesn't violate the German-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact, and therefore doesn't divide his forces, and completes the conquest of Europe?
 
2013-09-07 10:50:43 PM  

Sgt Otter: Not having Hitler to kick around opens other cans of worms.

1.  No technology boom that was the direct result of the WW2 arms race, and the later Cold War i.e. radar, computers, jet engines, atomic energy, etc.
2.  No incentive for the USA to become a military superpower, which would keep the USSR from annexing western Europe.
3.  A completely intact Japanese empire that hasn't been cured of its bloodlust.
4.  A Nazi Party without Hitler.  Who knows what the hell they might do?  Exterminate all non-Aryans within its own borders while an impotent League Of Nations politely asked them to stop?  A Party leader who doesn't violate the German-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact, and therefore doesn't divide his forces, and completes the conquest of Europe?


lol. ya, pretty sure Germany would win without being hampered by the great 'fuhrer'. so...you know...go ahead, and kill the hell out him. i like goosestepping as much as the next guy. lol.
 
2013-09-07 11:17:35 PM  

Sgt Otter: 1. No technology boom that was the direct result of the WW2 arms race, and the later Cold War i.e. radar, computers, jet engines, atomic energy, etc.


Don't forget space travel.
 
2013-09-07 11:33:00 PM  
+1 for a commenter mentioning the movie "Timecrimes."
 
2013-09-07 11:39:15 PM  

DrPainMD: +1 for a commenter mentioning the movie "Timecrimes."


until now...good work dickweed
 
2013-09-08 12:13:02 AM  

Cagey B: Sgt Otter: 1. No technology boom that was the direct result of the WW2 arms race, and the later Cold War i.e. radar, computers, jet engines, atomic energy, etc.

Don't forget space travel.



31.media.tumblr.com

Who could forget space travel?
 
2013-09-08 12:31:20 AM  
We can't; YET.  Come on farkers some of you seem smart.
 
2013-09-08 12:35:04 AM  
What if we already DID go back, and killed the guy that was WORSE than Hitler?
 
2013-09-08 12:36:01 AM  
The time travel paradox is an easy way to add a (usually) not-so-clever plot twist to the story.  *Yawn*
 
2013-09-08 12:43:59 AM  
I love the idea of Wikihistory.  To further amuse myself, I thought that going back to kill a young Genghis Khan for greater paradox.
 
2013-09-08 12:46:02 AM  
Seem to remember reading a book that dealt with time travel, only Nazi Germany invented it.  The catch was, you could only go forward in time so der Fuhrer kept sending agents ahead in time for some oddball reason (curiously it wasn't to try and figure out a way to win the war) One of the agents realizes he is working for the bad guys and while not trying to give his hand away gives Hitler bad advice concerning military tactics like for example in D Day, having the bulk of the troops on the Eastern Front instead of Normandy where he originally wanted to put them.  It has been many many years since I read this so my memory is a bit fuzzy over the plot and end results.
 
2013-09-08 12:50:18 AM  
/we all know how well that went
 
2013-09-08 12:58:21 AM  
I'd gp back in time to teach him how to be Good. That would be more interesting; to me.
 
2013-09-08 12:58:52 AM  
i.imgur.com

Hitler is....out of ze way.
 
2013-09-08 01:02:03 AM  
Ha!  I did it!  I went back in time and assassinated Hartler before he came to power.
 
2013-09-08 01:06:35 AM  
farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-09-08 01:11:06 AM  
 
2013-09-08 01:17:03 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What if we already DID go back, and killed the guy that was WORSE than Hitler?


static.tvtropes.org
 
2013-09-08 01:19:28 AM  
C'mon, everyone kills Hitler their first trip back in time. It's practically a right of passage.
 
2013-09-08 01:21:32 AM  
Who's Godwin?
 
2013-09-08 01:25:49 AM  
Anything that could have been changed by time travel has been changed and we are now living with the result.
 
2013-09-08 01:27:47 AM  
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2013-09-08 01:31:21 AM  

Richard_The_Clown: Anything that could have been changed by time travel has been changed and we are now living with the result.


It's how I know I never achieve time travel. Because the first thing I would do is go back in time and have sex with myself riiiiiiiiiiight NOW!.....

...... okay NOW!....... Now!.........

.... nownownownownownownownow!!!!
 
2013-09-08 01:31:54 AM  
filmdope.com

Displeased
 
2013-09-08 01:32:19 AM  
You have to admit that it makes for an interesting experiment in alternate history to consider what might have happened had Hitler died, say, anytime between being appointed Chancellor and the opening of the Eastern Front. Depending on the exact date you picked, you'd have a different group of possible successors, with vastly different (though still generally evil) agendas and ideas. Some of them could've been far worse if they'd taken over at the right time (I'm looking at you, Himmler).
 
2013-09-08 01:35:28 AM  
You know who else wanted to kill Hitler?

www.imfdb.org

/hot link
//least obscure on Fark right now.
 
2013-09-08 01:47:00 AM  
Oh the things I could tell you from my adventures, but the first rule of time travel is you don't talk about time travel...
 
2013-09-08 01:49:25 AM  
31.media.tumblr.com
But Eleanor Roosevelt is fair game, right?
 
2013-09-08 02:01:44 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What if we already DID go back, and killed the guy that was WORSE than Hitler?


According to Republicans, that would be FDR.
 
2013-09-08 02:05:23 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-09-08 02:10:43 AM  
What if George Zimmerman was a time traveler from the future and took out Trayvon before he became Hitler 2.0?
 
2013-09-08 02:12:44 AM  

Emposter: The time travel paradox is an easy way to add a (usually) not-so-clever plot twist to the story.  *Yawn*


like how a bunch of damn star trek movies and how episodes break it out and say BECAUSE SPOCK!!!! to get to the damn point?
 
2013-09-08 02:30:51 AM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-09-08 02:46:07 AM  
If Hitler was killed before he could come to power, what was Satan going to do with all those pineapples?
 
2013-09-08 02:57:16 AM  
What if, instead of killing him, a time-traveler went back a bit further in his life and praised his artistic talent and encouraged him to devote his life to developing said talent, and helped him get accepted by the artist community?
 
2013-09-08 02:59:12 AM  
Make history better, save Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
 
Poe
2013-09-08 03:04:05 AM  

COMALite J: What if, instead of killing him, a time-traveler went back a bit further in his life and praised his artistic talent and encouraged him to devote his life to developing said talent, and helped him get accepted by the artist community?


Let me guess, you would bring back some of his paintings as well?
 
2013-09-08 03:11:42 AM  
 
2013-09-08 03:12:25 AM  
People bag on that 2002 Twilight Zone a lot, but there were some pretty good stories in it. That Cradle of Darkness episode was one that really stuck with me. Every time the subject of going back in time to kill Hitler comes up, that's always the one that my mind defaults to.

Off topic, but my favorite remake they did was The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street. Instead of the fear of aliens being induced by aliens themselves to make invasion easier, it was fear of terrorists being induced by the US government so the public would let them do whatever they want to "defeat terrorism."
 
2013-09-08 03:19:11 AM  
You can't go back in time and kill Hitler because you can't travel back in time prior to the invention of time travel.  It's basic temporal physics.
 
2013-09-08 03:28:58 AM  

Jorn the Younger: You can't go back in time and kill Hitler because you can't travel back in time prior to the invention of time travel.  It's basic temporal physics.


Hitler died 10+ years prior to November 5, 1955, so we're out of luck
 
2013-09-08 03:30:24 AM  
Actually, the Second World War, although disastrous, did grant the US its place as a dominant power and cultural influence in the second half of the 20th century. Additionally, that war was a catalyst of technological advancement. Developments in rocketry and fission resonate on into the 24th century.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-09-08 03:56:35 AM  

Cubicle Jockey: Make history better, save Archduke Franz Ferdinand.


Go back a few thousand years, kill Constantine.  The Roman Empire never breaks in half, Rome never falls, and no one spends 2000 years starting wars trying to rebuild it.

Or kill Julius Caesar, or just screw up the whole Gallic campaign for him.  No Roman Empire, no one spends 2000 years starting wars trying to rebuild it.
 
2013-09-08 03:58:13 AM  

Mole Man: You know who else wanted to kill Hitler?

[www.imfdb.org image 400x299]

/hot link
//least obscure on Fark right now.


Remember the Red Dwarf episode when they messed up the Kennedy assassination ?
 
2013-09-08 04:08:59 AM  

LrdPhoenix: Cubicle Jockey: Make history better, save Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

Go back a few thousand years, kill Constantine.  The Roman Empire never breaks in half, Rome never falls, and no one spends 2000 years starting wars trying to rebuild it.

Or kill Julius Caesar, or just screw up the whole Gallic campaign for him.  No Roman Empire, no one spends 2000 years starting wars trying to rebuild it.


Can I just go back a few billion years and take a dump in the primordial soup?
 
2013-09-08 04:27:40 AM  

jimmyjackfunk: you could only go forward in time so der Fuhrer kept sending agents ahead in time for some oddball reason (curiously it wasn't to try and figure out a way to win the war) One of the agents realizes he is working for the bad guys and while not trying to give his hand away gives Hitler bad advice


How could they give him any kind of advice if he could only send them away, forward in time? He would have no way of hearing back from them or even knowing if they survived the trip.
 
2013-09-08 04:30:00 AM  
Even if you could go back in time and kill Hitler, it wouldn't make any difference. Hitler was a product of his time. He didn't really bring anything new to the table. Germany was in a bad place and needed someone to take charge. If it hadn't been Hitler, it would have been a Jörgen or Schultz or whatever and the result would have been more or less the same, Holocaust and all.
 
2013-09-08 04:37:41 AM  

utsagrad123: Jorn the Younger: You can't go back in time and kill Hitler because you can't travel back in time prior to the invention of time travel.  It's basic temporal physics.

Hitler died 10+ years prior to November 5, 1955, so we're out of luck


starsmedia.ign.com

Did he now?

/Obscure
 
2013-09-08 05:08:43 AM  
This was all answered in the third Terminator movie, where it was revealed that despite the attempt in the second movie to stop Skynet, the Skynet takeover was delayed, not averted. Nothing really changed.

Or maybe altering timelines do work. Maybe the South really was going to win the Civil War, but a time traveler went back to sabotage their battles so that they lost to the Union.
 
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