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(Iowa City, UNESCO City of Cirrhosis)   Maybe not the best college town police blotter entry in history, but the best one you'll see today. Iowa City drunkenness trifecta in play   (iowa-city.org) divider line 32
    More: Amusing, college town  
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13300 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2013 at 7:54 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-09-07 07:41:29 PM
With a report like that, I'm wondering if they're rattling her meth lab with all the noise or something....
 
2013-09-07 07:58:51 PM
CORNER HOUSE // 40 PEOPLE SPILLING OUT ONTO SIDEWALK // BIATCH THINKS THEY NEED AN OFFICIAL WARNING OR AN OFFICIAL $750 FINE // BIATCH HAS BEEN HEARING NOISE SINCE MIDNIGHT // BIATCH BELIEVES THEY ARE PROBABLY ON RED BULL // BIATCH DEMANDS TO SEE THIS CALL ON THE POLICE BLOTTER // BIATCH STATES SHE IS WORKING WITH ICPD 51 AND THE CHIEF TO MAKE SURE HER NEIGHBORHOOD DOESN'T GO DOWN THE TOILET

FTFT
 
2013-09-07 08:03:14 PM
I used to live next to her. Disorderly house my ass...
 
2013-09-07 08:05:05 PM
They are all high on the red bull
 
2013-09-07 08:08:59 PM
COMP BELIEVES THEY ARE PROBABLY ON RED BULL

Comp is an elderly widow who hasn't had a clue since the Truman administration.
 
2013-09-07 08:15:46 PM
I don't know...  I'd be pretty annoyed by a party going from midnight to 9 AM.  I'll cut "Comp" some slack.
 
2013-09-07 08:16:09 PM
lol, red bull
 
2013-09-07 08:26:00 PM

wxboy: I don't know...  I'd be pretty annoyed by a party going from midnight to 9 AM.  I'll cut "Comp" some slack.


What if they were playing BINGO?
 
2013-09-07 08:39:45 PM
Is it too soon to discuss the Red Bull control legislation?
 
2013-09-07 08:42:24 PM
Here's what has to be one of the best police incident reports ever, courtesy of my current home city:

The officer approached the scene cautiously. As well he should have, after all this was Sunday afternoon, the 22nd of May, in the year 2011, the day after the predicted Rapture. There had been no horrible earthquake, and it did not appear - as the sun rose again Sunday - that Armageddon was upon us.

Still, this "check property" call to which the officer had been dispatched seemed strange. A concerned citizen made the initial discovery: it was on the tallest hill of Olin Turville park. There, in a small clearing, beneath a canopy of towering oaks, were multiple "sets of clothes." Not just any clothes, but clothes that appeared to be burned.

Was it not part of the Rapture prognostication, that on worldwide judgment day, Jesus would take believers to heaven?

Around 4:30 p.m., the officer advised dispatch that he was on scene and "commencing my investigation." In his report, he writes: "I had originally thought that the burned clothes may have been a scorned lover affecting revenge on a party they deemed had wronged them, but it quickly became apparent that this did not appear to be the case."

Indeed. There were some 30 sets of clothes. You could almost make out the figures that once wore them. Men's clothes, women's clothes, complete with undergarments and shoes. It was if people had been on their backs and vanished in their birthday suites, leaving all material possessions behind. There were wrist watches where arms should have been, and sets of keys in pockets.

"I observed that ... all outfits ... were perfectly laid out as if the people wearing them had met with some sort of forceful and immediate action," wrote the responding officer. He also noted all clothing "had varying levels of what appeared to be burns or melting as if exposed to some sort of intense heat source."

More mystifying was the fact that the material goods were spread out, in circular fashion, around a black cylinder which was emitting a strobe-type white light toward the skies. "I cautiously examined the Beacon of Light closer and determined that it had been constructed out of a 5-gallon pail and what appeared to be a light fixture type of top," said the officer. As he probed the probe he discovered two independent light sources: a heavy duty flash light, and a bicycle light.

Next the officer said, "I donned a pair of protective gloves and examined some of the clothing and discovered that several pockets in the outfits all contained a similar type of business or calling card. The top of each had a round circle, and directly beneath that was a large vessel that appeared to be an 'Ark' type craft. Under the 'Ark' were several vertical lines that emanated downward away from the bottom of the craft."

The officer called a sergeant to also view the findings. In the end they were left with three possible scenarios: Could this be an unregistered art exhibit? Could this be a practical joke? Or, could this be ... a possible documented "Rapture" occurrence.
 
2013-09-07 08:42:36 PM
COMP SOUNDS LIKE A BUSYBODY COONT. // COMP SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S A MEMBER OF A HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION.
 
Poe
2013-09-07 08:49:56 PM

evaned: Here's what has to be one of the best police incident reports ever, courtesy of my current home city:

The officer approached the scene cautiously. As well he should have, after all this was Sunday afternoon, the 22nd of May, in the year 2011, the day after the predicted Rapture. There had been no horrible earthquake, and it did not appear - as the sun rose again Sunday - that Armageddon was upon us.

Still, this "check property" call to which the officer had been dispatched seemed strange. A concerned citizen made the initial discovery: it was on the tallest hill of Olin Turville park. There, in a small clearing, beneath a canopy of towering oaks, were multiple "sets of clothes." Not just any clothes, but clothes that appeared to be burned.

Was it not part of the Rapture prognostication, that on worldwide judgment day, Jesus would take believers to heaven?

Around 4:30 p.m., the officer advised dispatch that he was on scene and "commencing my investigation." In his report, he writes: "I had originally thought that the burned clothes may have been a scorned lover affecting revenge on a party they deemed had wronged them, but it quickly became apparent that this did not appear to be the case."

Indeed. There were some 30 sets of clothes. You could almost make out the figures that once wore them. Men's clothes, women's clothes, complete with undergarments and shoes. It was if people had been on their backs and vanished in their birthday suites, leaving all material possessions behind. There were wrist watches where arms should have been, and sets of keys in pockets.

"I observed that ... all outfits ... were perfectly laid out as if the people wearing them had met with some sort of forceful and immediate action," wrote the responding officer. He also noted all clothing "had varying levels of what appeared to be burns or melting as if exposed to some sort of intense heat source."

More mystifying was the fact that the material goods were spread out, in circular fashio ...


That Beacon of Light sounds like a possible SCP.
 
2013-09-07 09:03:02 PM

Rhino_man: COMP SOUNDS LIKE A BUSYBODY COONT. // COMP SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S A MEMBER OF A HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION.


Comp lives in a trashy neighborhood the has apartments (ewww) within earshot.
 
2013-09-07 09:05:48 PM
To be fair, the only place I've ever visited with a bigger alcohol problem than Iowa City was the pre-perestroika Soviet Union.
 
2013-09-07 09:08:09 PM
I got a rare outburst of laughter from a police dispatcher when I called in a noise complaint at 6 in the morning after hearing gangsta crap for three hours. Actually I was hearing very distorted gangsta crap blaring from a Chevy Cavalier parked in front of a neighbor's house.

I kindly explained what was happening and closed my comments with "I have a whole lot of wattage at my disposal and I know how to use it." The dispatcher laughed rather heartily and recommended I didn't go that route. A cruiser rolled by in less than a minute.

For the record, the police know me and what I do for a hobby. Being a known as an audio enthusiast who designs and builds some rather nice speakers does have its advantages from time to time.
 
2013-09-07 09:17:23 PM
As someone in Iowa City drinking my ass off for the 2nd night in a row, I'm getting a kick out of these comments. I may have also been at this party last night.
 
2013-09-07 09:18:57 PM
You know, citizens should do something about all of these loud drunken young people on the weekend.

Do these kids think they made Iowa City what it is, hell no.

I think the police should keep on cracking down on these horrible drunken jerks until not another one is left in Iowa City, and it becomes the quiet Iowa town it should be.

\LOL
\\Arresting drunken college kids for public intox, this is the future of law enforcement.
 
2013-09-07 09:33:43 PM
"PROBABLY ON RED BULL"

I've heard of that but I've never tried it. Do you mainline or freebase it?
 
2013-09-07 09:37:33 PM
As a former resident of Iowa City, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/Also, Comp sounds like the typical, non-college, IC resident.
 
2013-09-07 09:38:46 PM
Thinking of going to Ames next weekend.  Seems there is a football game there that might draw some of the red bull crowd from Iowa City.   Predicted good times.
 
2013-09-07 09:39:32 PM
In heaven there is no beer...
 
2013-09-07 09:41:40 PM
 Probably all really just hopped up on goofballs.
 
2013-09-07 09:54:13 PM

Tyrosine: COMP BELIEVES THEY ARE PROBABLY ON RED BULL

Comp is an elderly widow who hasn't had a clue since the Truman administration.


The red bull trucks still drive around and hand out things, probably she saw the truck and the logo and just didn't know what it was.  I doubt she just spontaneously pulled that name out of nowhere as a possible intoxicant.
 
2013-09-07 10:00:16 PM

Poe: evaned: Here's what has to be one of the best police incident reports ever, courtesy of my current home city:

The officer approached the scene cautiously. As well he should have, after all this was Sunday afternoon, the 22nd of May, in the year 2011, the day after the predicted Rapture. There had been no horrible earthquake, and it did not appear - as the sun rose again Sunday - that Armageddon was upon us.

Still, this "check property" call to which the officer had been dispatched seemed strange. A concerned citizen made the initial discovery: it was on the tallest hill of Olin Turville park. There, in a small clearing, beneath a canopy of towering oaks, were multiple "sets of clothes." Not just any clothes, but clothes that appeared to be burned.

Was it not part of the Rapture prognostication, that on worldwide judgment day, Jesus would take believers to heaven?

Around 4:30 p.m., the officer advised dispatch that he was on scene and "commencing my investigation." In his report, he writes: "I had originally thought that the burned clothes may have been a scorned lover affecting revenge on a party they deemed had wronged them, but it quickly became apparent that this did not appear to be the case."

Indeed. There were some 30 sets of clothes. You could almost make out the figures that once wore them. Men's clothes, women's clothes, complete with undergarments and shoes. It was if people had been on their backs and vanished in their birthday suites, leaving all material possessions behind. There were wrist watches where arms should have been, and sets of keys in pockets.

"I observed that ... all outfits ... were perfectly laid out as if the people wearing them had met with some sort of forceful and immediate action," wrote the responding officer. He also noted all clothing "had varying levels of what appeared to be burns or melting as if exposed to some sort of intense heat source."

More mystifying was the fact that the material goods were spread out, in circular fashio ...

That Beacon of Light sounds like a possible SCP.


I haven't heard of an SCP in a looooong time....I forgot about them

/going to check the files for this thing
 
2013-09-07 10:25:32 PM
You're missing the punch line:


Dispatch Time 9/7/2013 9:05:00 AM
 
2013-09-07 10:32:49 PM
Around 2:20 a.m. Sunday, an Oxford Police officer observed a male subject urinating in an alleyway near Poplar and High Street. The officer got out of the cruiser and told the subject, later identified as sophomore Craig McIntire, to stop and zip his pants up. McIntire ignored the officer and continued to urinate. The officer said he was swaying back and forth while urinating. Once he finished he immediately took off running until falling face first in front of StadiUm Sports Bar & Grille, scraping his forearms. McIntire struggled with the officer before being handcuffed and taken to OPD. Officers reported McIntire as being heavily intoxicated, unsteady on his feet and uncooperative. After being processed and charged he was taken to Butler County Jail. During the ride there he told the officer to pull over so he could slap him across the face with his penis. McIntire was charged with resisting arrest, obstructing official business and public intoxication.
 
2013-09-07 10:46:52 PM

Kygz: Around 2:20 a.m. Sunday, an Oxford Police officer observed a male subject urinating in an alleyway near Poplar and High Street. The officer got out of the cruiser and told the subject, later identified as sophomore Craig McIntire, to stop and zip his pants up. McIntire ignored the officer and continued to urinate. The officer said he was swaying back and forth while urinating. Once he finished he immediately took off running until falling face first in front of StadiUm Sports Bar & Grille, scraping his forearms. McIntire struggled with the officer before being handcuffed and taken to OPD. Officers reported McIntire as being heavily intoxicated, unsteady on his feet and uncooperative. After being processed and charged he was taken to Butler County Jail. During the ride there he told the officer to pull over so he could slap him across the face with his penis. McIntire was charged with resisting arrest, obstructing official business and public intoxication.


"Pull over, I'ma cockslap you in the face, man." - Made my night.
 
2013-09-07 10:59:03 PM

Poe: evaned: Here's what has to be one of the best police incident reports ever, courtesy of my current home city:

The officer approached the scene cautiously. As well he should have, after all this was Sunday afternoon, the 22nd of May, in the year 2011, the day after the predicted Rapture. There had been no horrible earthquake, and it did not appear - as the sun rose again Sunday - that Armageddon was upon us.

Still, this "check property" call to which the officer had been dispatched seemed strange. A concerned citizen made the initial discovery: it was on the tallest hill of Olin Turville park. There, in a small clearing, beneath a canopy of towering oaks, were multiple "sets of clothes." Not just any clothes, but clothes that appeared to be burned.

Was it not part of the Rapture prognostication, that on worldwide judgment day, Jesus would take believers to heaven?

Around 4:30 p.m., the officer advised dispatch that he was on scene and "commencing my investigation." In his report, he writes: "I had originally thought that the burned clothes may have been a scorned lover affecting revenge on a party they deemed had wronged them, but it quickly became apparent that this did not appear to be the case."

Indeed. There were some 30 sets of clothes. You could almost make out the figures that once wore them. Men's clothes, women's clothes, complete with undergarments and shoes. It was if people had been on their backs and vanished in their birthday suites, leaving all material possessions behind. There were wrist watches where arms should have been, and sets of keys in pockets.

"I observed that ... all outfits ... were perfectly laid out as if the people wearing them had met with some sort of forceful and immediate action," wrote the responding officer. He also noted all clothing "had varying levels of what appeared to be burns or melting as if exposed to some sort of intense heat source."

More mystifying was the fact that the material goods were spread out, in circular fashio ...

That Beacon of Light sounds like a possible SCP.


Or a Holder.
 
2013-09-08 12:09:38 AM
cdn.buzznet.com
"Hey old lady, want some REDBULL!!!!"
 
2013-09-08 01:02:39 AM
When I was up at Ballston Spa, NY enrolled in the Navy Nuke Prototype training, one of our house parties got a little out of hand and a neighbor came over to complain. Somebody shoved a beer in his hand and he ended up sticking around for a while.

/good times
 
2013-09-08 07:27:04 AM
WTF? That was stupid.
 
2013-09-09 12:01:22 AM

love_alice: Thinking of going to Ames next weekend.  Seems there is a football game there that might draw some of the red bull crowd from Iowa City.   Predicted good times.


We drink plenty in Ames. We just don't enjoy it. In fact, we don't enjoy much of anything in Ames, and we mostly like it that way.
 
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