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(Fark)   How often are you naked?   (fark.com) divider line 244
    More: Survey  
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7294 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Sep 2013 at 4:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



244 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-09-07 10:53:04 PM  

Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this-

I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.


I actually don't wear shoes in my office. Gotta let my toes breathe!
 
2013-09-07 10:59:58 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!


Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom ay work???
 
2013-09-07 11:05:37 PM  

Barnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom ay work???


Yeah, would you stop that? She keeps hanging up in the middle while I'm talking to her because you're on the other line.
 
2013-09-07 11:05:37 PM  

Barnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom ay wo

Barnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom at work???


(Note to self....."Preview" spelling before hitting "Add Comment")
 
2013-09-07 11:08:12 PM  

Barnabus_Duke: Barnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom ay woBarnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom at work???

(Note to self....."Preview" spelling before hitting "Add Comment")


I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: I May Be Crazy But...: Barnabus_Duke: Naked??? Only long enough for body cleansing and getting dressed. Now...Nekkid??? (Meaning you have no clothes on, and are up to something) Dammit...Been too damn long, Why you make an old man feel old?

/Damn you subbie
//callin a 1-900 number now...

If a 900 number is how you get your jollies, you ARE old!

Yes I am, but what the hell does that have to do with callin' my mom ay work???

Yeah, would you stop that? She keeps hanging up in the middle while I'm talking to her because you're on the other line.


Dad????????
 
2013-09-07 11:28:45 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this-

I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.

I actually don't wear shoes in my office. Gotta let my toes breathe!


Hey, we need you back in the TFark land ASAP, start whoring yourself out so you can get sponsored again, I'm too poor.
 
2013-09-07 11:32:00 PM  
Not enough.
 
2013-09-07 11:37:42 PM  
She's so hot she's making me sexist.

That biatch.
 
2013-09-07 11:39:25 PM  
So that's how people post in the wrong thread....
 
2013-09-07 11:44:51 PM  

darthdrafter: So that's how people post in the wrong thread....


Heh heh
 
2013-09-08 12:04:15 AM  
when i finally got my own apartment instead of having roommates, i promised that i would be naked all the time.  when i get home from work, i immediately take off everything as soon as i close the door.  my laundry basket is right there.  so i'm naked pretty much all the time.  occasionally if i leave the air conditioner on and the place gets chilly i might put on some pajama pants and a t-shirt, but that's it.  i love being naked.  hopefully if i ever get married i can find someone who feels the same way and we can be naked all the time together.  if i wasn't so self conscious i would totally visit a nude colony.
 
2013-09-08 12:40:02 AM  
All of my Angus herd is nekkid
 
2013-09-08 12:55:03 AM  

cwolf20: Are keyboards supposed to blush?


It is the back-light.
 
2013-09-08 12:56:55 AM  
 
2013-09-08 01:06:06 AM  
More often than I used to be.  We have to yell up the stairs to kid and roommate "Hey, we're naked" most Saturday mornings before 10ish.  Should have been more naked in my 20's when I was a bit hotter.  In my 30's I'm not all that great, but the SO likes to rock the naked and I've oddly enough jumped on board with him.  Also sleeping naked is the best sleep I've ever gotten, regardless of season.
 
2013-09-08 01:16:49 AM  
Several times a day.
 
2013-09-08 01:18:48 AM  
*cuddles specialkae*
 
2013-09-08 01:36:03 AM  

mrswood: Every time I change my clothes and shower.


Oh come on. Nobody can be clothed ALL the time.
 
2013-09-08 01:43:49 AM  

Kittypie070: *cuddles specialkae*


Arrws.  *cuddles back* sweet dreams, m'dear!
 
2013-09-08 01:44:13 AM  
Whenever I'm at home I'm likely to be naked.
 
2013-09-08 01:59:09 AM  
whenever i'm indoors...and also when sunbathing in my yard...so, most of the time.
 
2013-09-08 02:28:17 AM  

BuckTurgidson: Link


This reminded me of the warning about the book Starship Titanic: Most of the words in this book were written by a naked man.  Thanks for the smile

megarian: Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this- I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.

THIS^

Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes.


Likewise, especially since my feet burn with the fire of 1000 suns when I wear shoes.  I've stuck with sandles or flip-flops four years now when going out.
 
2013-09-08 02:40:03 AM  
I really like sleeping naked. This thread made me realize that its been three weeks since last having sex, I've been on an exercise binge and forgot apparently.
 
2013-09-08 03:01:34 AM  

marius2: I May Be Crazy But...: Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this-

I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.

I actually don't wear shoes in my office. Gotta let my toes breathe!

Hey, we need you back in the TFark land ASAP, start whoring yourself out so you can get sponsored again, I'm too poor.


I'm already naked, what else is there?!?
 
2013-09-08 03:29:11 AM  
Not nearly often enough, but at least I'm not committing visual assault on my neighbors...
 
2013-09-08 07:37:45 AM  
The question should be "How often am I not naked?"
 
2013-09-08 07:39:06 AM  
What a stupid farking question
 
2013-09-08 09:05:26 AM  

abhorrent1: What a stupid farking question


you sound kinda stressed out and grumpy.  maybe you should take all your clothes off and relax for a bit, you'll feel better.
 
2013-09-08 09:14:37 AM  
Several hours every day while asleep, usually several more on my days off if I'm not going anywhere in particular. Half the time all I put on is a robe (eventually) on those days. Living alone is great sometimes. Others, it's horribly, horribly depressing.
 
2013-09-08 09:34:27 AM  

Al_Ed: Until my order of Fresh Ballstm arrives, what choice do I have?


This.
 
2013-09-08 09:57:04 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: marius2: I May Be Crazy But...: Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this-

I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.

I actually don't wear shoes in my office. Gotta let my toes breathe!

Hey, we need you back in the TFark land ASAP, start whoring yourself out so you can get sponsored again, I'm too poor.

I'm already naked, what else is there?!?


Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.
 
2013-09-08 10:47:10 AM  

Lorelle: freak7: A related question, how many of you sleep naked?

I stopped doing that after the Northridge earthquake.



peterthx: I live in earthquake country, no way I'm sleeping nude on a regular basis.


I wish someone would have told me this when I moved to the SF Bay area back in the 90's.  Coming from PA I never even thought about it. After my first earthquake in the middle of the night, running around in the dark trying to find a robe while the ground was moving, I never slept nakey again. Not even when I moved back to PA lol.
 
2013-09-08 10:51:16 AM  
Pfft, when we have earthquakes I just go outside naked and say "yeah, you know you're impressed"
 
2013-09-08 12:22:23 PM  

marius2: Pfft, when we have earthquakes I just go outside naked and say "yeah, you know you're impressed"


kickthis.typepad.com
 
2013-09-08 01:39:17 PM  

Derkins: Lorelle: freak7: A related question, how many of you sleep naked?

I stopped doing that after the Northridge earthquake.


peterthx: I live in earthquake country, no way I'm sleeping nude on a regular basis.

I wish someone would have told me this when I moved to the SF Bay area back in the 90's.  Coming from PA I never even thought about it. After my first earthquake in the middle of the night, running around in the dark trying to find a robe while the ground was moving, I never slept nakey again. Not even when I moved back to PA lol.


Yup. I tripped on stuff that fell out of the open closet while trying to get to a doorway, sprained my ankle, and ended up sitting on the floor in the dark (because the power went out), naked, for about an hour and a half, listening to things falling and crashing around me every time an aftershock hit.
 
2013-09-08 03:43:22 PM  

99.998er: OgreMagi: 99.998er: In reality about 10% of the time, but ask my land lady and she will tell you 80% of the time. In last 18 months she has walked in my condo 5 times unannounced and with out knocking. 4 of those times I was either getting in/out of shower or getting dressed. I think she has place bugged.

I hate her fake pretentious ass.

Going into a rental unit without prior notice, except in an emergency, is illegal.

Yes, I know...and so does she. She is a realtor. For some reason she thinks we are friends and wants to "pop" over and talk about family, relationships, or whatever else comes to her mind. She is bat-shiat crazy and I am trying to get out of lease. The stories I have on her would seriously boggle your mind.


Now you have to tell them. You can't just say something like that and not tell the stories!
 
2013-09-08 03:45:25 PM  

Valiente: Does the top hat count?


Not if you also wear the monocle.
 
2013-09-08 03:49:58 PM  

Coastalgrl: I sleep best nude. Also, post shower I make breakfast, do the hair, make espresso etc all nude.


How you doin'?
 
2013-09-08 04:43:15 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Your Average Witty Fark User: This is a great time to say this-

I wear as little as possible as often as possible. The worse offender? Shoes. Fark shoes. I farking hate shoes. I wear shoes to work, in stores, and when I'm climbing. Otherwise, fark shoes.

I actually don't wear shoes in my office. Gotta let my toes breathe!


I could've clarified- I wear them *to* work. I don't wear them at work, if I don't have to.
 
2013-09-08 05:44:04 PM  

elementcircle: 99.998er: OgreMagi: 99.998er: In reality about 10% of the time, but ask my land lady and she will tell you 80% of the time. In last 18 months she has walked in my condo 5 times unannounced and with out knocking. 4 of those times I was either getting in/out of shower or getting dressed. I think she has place bugged.

I hate her fake pretentious ass.

Going into a rental unit without prior notice, except in an emergency, is illegal.

Yes, I know...and so does she. She is a realtor. For some reason she thinks we are friends and wants to "pop" over and talk about family, relationships, or whatever else comes to her mind. She is bat-shiat crazy and I am trying to get out of lease. The stories I have on her would seriously boggle your mind.

Now you have to tell them. You can't just say something like that and not tell the stories!




OK...
1.) Tried to bill me $300+ for a month water bill. I live in a high rise condo and water is included in HOA, not to mention it wouldn't even be $300 for an entire year

2.) Came in unannounced on a Sunday morning with prospective buyers at about 8:00am while a girlfriend & I slept. I never new she was there until she called that afternoon screaming at me for having an underage prostitute with me. (She was 26 and not a prostitue). She could not have sold it anyway as she is about $150k higher than comparable units and I have a signed lease.

3.) Told me she had been raped by 5 different men, at 5 different times, at 5 different locations

4.) Got arrested for throwing a concrete plant holder through her boyfriend's plate glass window

5.) Came to my office on the 27th of the month demanding rent. It is due on the 1st. Receptionist threatened to call the police

6.) Came to my unit while I was at work and cut off hot water heater for no reason. I cut it back on and called her about it. She told me I could not prove it was her.

7.) She kicked out her own windshield to her SUV from the inside in a drug fueled tantrum.

8.) Claims she has the ability to communicate with ghosts.

9.) She never changed her mailing address, so I have the joy of collecting her mail from attorneys, psychiatric clinics, bill collectors, etc. and giving them to the consierge.

So yes, she is the craziest wench I have ever had the displeasure of meeting and doing business with. The property manager has had a couple of stern talks with her, but little he can do since she does own the unit. She has made outlandish claims that I run a gambling & prostitution ring out of my condo, which of course he knows is bullshiat. I have never been late on rent and had been very polite and nice to her until she started going insane. Oh, the consierge desk calls me when she is on the property now.
 
2013-09-08 06:19:26 PM  

99.998er: elementcircle: 99.998er: OgreMagi: 99.998er: In reality about 10% of the time, but ask my land lady and she will tell you 80% of the time. In last 18 months she has walked in my condo 5 times unannounced and with out knocking. 4 of those times I was either getting in/out of shower or getting dressed. I think she has place bugged.

I hate her fake pretentious ass.

Going into a rental unit without prior notice, except in an emergency, is illegal.

Yes, I know...and so does she. She is a realtor. For some reason she thinks we are friends and wants to "pop" over and talk about family, relationships, or whatever else comes to her mind. She is bat-shiat crazy and I am trying to get out of lease. The stories I have on her would seriously boggle your mind.

Now you have to tell them. You can't just say something like that and not tell the stories!



OK...
1.) Tried to bill me $300+ for a month water bill. I live in a high rise condo and water is included in HOA, not to mention it wouldn't even be $300 for an entire year

2.) Came in unannounced on a Sunday morning with prospective buyers at about 8:00am while a girlfriend & I slept. I never new she was there until she called that afternoon screaming at me for having an underage prostitute with me. (She was 26 and not a prostitue). She could not have sold it anyway as she is about $150k higher than comparable units and I have a signed lease.

3.) Told me she had been raped by 5 different men, at 5 different times, at 5 different locations

4.) Got arrested for throwing a concrete plant holder through her boyfriend's plate glass window

5.) Came to my office on the 27th of the month demanding rent. It is due on the 1st. Receptionist threatened to call the police

6.) Came to my unit while I was at work and cut off hot water heater for no reason. I cut it back on and called her about it. She told me I could not prove it was her.

7.) She kicked out her own windshield to her SUV from the inside in a drug fueled tantrum.

8.) Claims she has the ability to communicate with ghosts.

9.) She never changed her mailing address, so I have the joy of collecting her mail from attorneys, psychiatric clinics, bill collectors, etc. and giving them to the consierge.

So yes, she is the craziest wench I have ever had the displeasure of meeting and doing business with. The property manager has had a couple of stern talks with her, but little he can do since she does own the unit. She has made outlandish claims that I run a gambling & prostitution ring out of my condo, which of course he knows is bullshiat. I have never been late on rent and had been very polite and nice to her until she started going insane. Oh, the consierge desk calls me when she is on the property now.


fark that! That biatch makes crazy people look sane! You need out of there asap. I'm actually kind of afraid for your well-being now. I have a very comfy sofa if you need to crash till you get a new place. Do what you gotta do, but get out of there fast.
 
2013-09-08 07:24:19 PM  

elementcircle: 99.998er: elementcircle: 99.998er: OgreMagi: 99.998er: In reality about 10% of the time, but ask my land lady and she will tell you 80% of the time. In last 18 months she has walked in my condo 5 times unannounced and with out knocking. 4 of those times I was either getting in/out of shower or getting dressed. I think she has place bugged.

I hate her fake pretentious ass.

Going into a rental unit without prior notice, except in an emergency, is illegal.

Yes, I know...and so does she. She is a realtor. For some reason she thinks we are friends and wants to "pop" over and talk about family, relationships, or whatever else comes to her mind. She is bat-shiat crazy and I am trying to get out of lease. The stories I have on her would seriously boggle your mind.

Now you have to tell them. You can't just say something like that and not tell the stories!

OK...
1.) Tried to bill me $300+ for a month water bill. I live in a high rise condo and water is included in HOA, not to mention it wouldn't even be $300 for an entire year

2.) Came in unannounced on a Sunday morning with prospective buyers at about 8:00am while a girlfriend & I slept. I never new she was there until she called that afternoon screaming at me for having an underage prostitute with me. (She was 26 and not a prostitue). She could not have sold it anyway as she is about $150k higher than comparable units and I have a signed lease.

3.) Told me she had been raped by 5 different men, at 5 different times, at 5 different locations

4.) Got arrested for throwing a concrete plant holder through her boyfriend's plate glass window

5.) Came to my office on the 27th of the month demanding rent. It is due on the 1st. Receptionist threatened to call the police

6.) Came to my unit while I was at work and cut off hot water heater for no reason. I cut it back on and called her about it. She told me I could not prove it was her.

7.) She kicked out her own windshield to her SUV from the inside in a drug fueled tant ...



Thanks, but I have installed a chain lock and a dead bolt that the property manager also has a key to. She is not to enter unannounced unless it is an emergency and then with the presence of the property manager. I had never met her prior to renting from her, but neighbors have since told me horrific stories of her when she had lived here. I work in a high rise office just 3 blocks away and she has been given written notice she may be arrested if she enters building unless she can verify for professional reasons and with a staff escort. She is truly one scary biatch.
 
2013-09-08 08:57:04 PM  
*reads thread*

Webcam pics, or it didn't happen.
 
2013-09-08 10:04:22 PM  

Gleeman: *reads thread*

Webcam pics, or it didn't happen.


I don't think you'll actually enjoy that.
 
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