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(Some Guy)   Australian Electoral Commission fires up the scoreboard; it's your Australian Election Night thread   (vtr.aec.gov.au) divider line 88
    More: Interesting, Electoral Commission, House of Representatives  
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489 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Sep 2013 at 7:08 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-09-07 05:04:42 AM
So, who's following what? And is anyone playing the drinking game of "Drink every time the LNP wins a seat?"
 
2013-09-07 06:19:29 AM
Um... Hello? I tried to make it here on time but somehow I ended up in Papua New Guinea. People chased me yelling, "Longpig!"
 
2013-09-07 06:22:54 AM

Ragin' Asian: Um... Hello? I tried to make it here on time but somehow I ended up in Papua New Guinea. People chased me yelling, "Longpig!"


Well, you haven't missed much so far, aside from the fact that Australia might be the first nation to discover time travel.
 
2013-09-07 06:52:53 AM
Not even a Fark thread can make me give that much of a damn about our bloody election..
 
2013-09-07 07:04:00 AM
I'm honestly curious. When the Australian government is said to be "Conservative", do they mean America conservative or British conservative (as in not the BNP)?
 
2013-09-07 07:08:00 AM

Ragin' Asian: I'm honestly curious. When the Australian government is said to be "Conservative", do they mean America conservative or British conservative (as in not the BNP)?


Closer to American conservative, last I checked. The LNP (Liberal National Party) is against marriage equality, refuses to properly upgrade the networking infrastructure (only running fiber optic out to the nodes, rather than direct to people's houses like Labor was going to do) and is planning on screwing over workers by cutting benefits such as penalty rates (as in getting rid of them entirely). Rupert Murdoch went into bat for them, which is problematic since he controls about 70% of Australia's news media and the guy who'll be PM if they win is an ex-priest.

Not looking to the next few years...
 
2013-09-07 07:09:17 AM
Looks like it's time for everyone to get drunk. At least the greens have a seat, whoopee.
 
2013-09-07 07:14:52 AM
So, a government that led pretty much the only Western economy to survive the financial meltdown - partly because they use the ingenious idea of given money back to every man woman and child with the command to "Go spend this now!" rather than sending a check to corporations - gets kicked out and replaced with a man to the right of Thatcher politically and to the right of Uganda socially.

This all makes total sense!
 
2013-09-07 07:15:38 AM
The really sad part? Just in Victoria, 5% of voters (on average) wasted their votes by not voting properly.
 
2013-09-07 07:17:54 AM

Bungles: So, a government that led pretty much the only Western economy to survive the financial meltdown - partly because they use the ingenious idea of given money back to every man woman and child with the command to "Go spend this now!" rather than sending a check to corporations - gets kicked out and replaced with a man to the right of Thatcher politically and to the right of Uganda socially.

This all makes total sense!


I think people are reacting to a combination of Labor not getting their shiat together and spending too long squabbling amongst themselves and knifing each other in the back and Murdoch not even pretending to be civil with the papers. Despite their policies being objectively worse, the Liberals "looked" better thanks to Murdoch spin and at least having the appearance of having their shiat together.

Christ, people are stupid...
 
2013-09-07 07:20:37 AM

Shedim: Bungles: So, a government that led pretty much the only Western economy to survive the financial meltdown - partly because they use the ingenious idea of given money back to every man woman and child with the command to "Go spend this now!" rather than sending a check to corporations - gets kicked out and replaced with a man to the right of Thatcher politically and to the right of Uganda socially.

This all makes total sense!

I think people are reacting to a combination of Labor not getting their shiat together and spending too long squabbling amongst themselves and knifing each other in the back and Murdoch not even pretending to be civil with the papers. Despite their policies being objectively worse, the Liberals "looked" better thanks to Murdoch spin and at least having the appearance of having their shiat together.

Christ, people are stupid...


Given the Liberal costings were only released 2 days ago - minutes before media blackout - I suspect very few people actually have any idea if they're going to be better off or worse off.
 
2013-09-07 07:22:58 AM

Bungles: Given the Liberal costings were only released 2 days ago - minutes before media blackout - I suspect very few people actually have any idea if they're going to be better off or worse off.


Probably worse off - if we were going to be better off, they would've released them weeks ago. This late in, it looks like they're pulling numbers out of thin air.

Oh, and they're also going to slap in an internet filter, just for shiats and giggles.
 
2013-09-07 07:35:08 AM

Shedim: Bungles: Given the Liberal costings were only released 2 days ago - minutes before media blackout - I suspect very few people actually have any idea if they're going to be better off or worse off.

Probably worse off - if we were going to be better off, they would've released them weeks ago. This late in, it looks like they're pulling numbers out of thin air.

Oh, and they're also going to slap in an internet filter, just for shiats and giggles.


"Will everyone just stop looking at all these titties and willies!"
 
2013-09-07 07:37:33 AM
think people are reacting to a combination of Labor not getting their shiat together and spending too long squabbling amongst themselves and knifing each other in the back and Murdoch not even pretending to be civil with the papers. Despite their policies being objectively worse, the Liberals "looked" better thanks to Murdoch spin and at least having the appearance of having their shiat together.

This, in a big way. That throwback to the 50's who's just been elected was handed a victory on a plate. Labor utterly screwed themselves, the morons.

Having said that, I think the whole super-duper broadband issue is running before you can walk. I emigrated to Australia 18 months ago from the UK and live 550k's west of Sydney, I don't even get reliable phone signal here let alone good internet. I'll be damned if I'd be happy for my taxes to go on infrastructure which would merely allow people in coastal regions to get their porn and online gaming very slightly quicker than before when I don't even have services which every single citizen of every single other first world nation takes for granted. Good government means developing all of the country, not just the bits with more votes in.

I doubt Tony "either PM or Pope" Abbot will do any better. His plan of (metaphorically speaking) blowing money on a dirt track instead of a hard top road is even dumber.
 
2013-09-07 07:40:11 AM
lh3.ggpht.com

Vote Knifey-Spoony party
 
2013-09-07 07:40:37 AM

Tellurianix: I  think people are reacting to a combination of Labor not getting their shiat together and spending too long squabbling amongst themselves and knifing each other in the back and Murdoch not even pretending to be civil with the papers. Despite their policies being objectively worse, the Liberals "looked" better thanks to Murdoch spin and at least having the appearance of having their shiat together.

This, in a big way. That throwback to the 50's who's just been elected was handed a victory on a plate. Labor utterly screwed themselves, the morons.

Having said that, I think the whole super-duper broadband issue is running before you can walk. I emigrated to Australia 18 months ago from the UK and live 550k's west of Sydney, I don't even get reliable phone signal here let alone good internet. I'll be damned if I'd be happy for my taxes to go on infrastructure which would merely allow people in coastal regions to get their porn and online gaming very slightly quicker than before when I don't even have services which every single citizen of every single other first world nation takes for granted. Good government means developing all of the country, not just the bits with more votes in.

I doubt Tony "either PM or Pope" Abbot will do any better. His plan of (metaphorically speaking) blowing money on a dirt track instead of a hard top road is even dumber.


Do you think Labor's FTTH plan would've gone down better if they'd started in the country areas first and worked out, rather than starting from the city and working in? It'd at least encourage them to upgrade the phone coverage while they're there.

I also wonder if they'd have done better if Julia Gillard was still in charge - or even allowed to be in charge until they won and then knifed once victory was assured...
 
2013-09-07 07:51:17 AM

Tellurianix: I emigrated to Australia 18 months ago from the UK and live 550k's west of Sydney,


static.tvtropes.org
 
2013-09-07 07:55:33 AM
Things you should know about Tony Abbot if he indeed does win. He's anti-gay marriage, a climate change skeptic, his economic plan is to cut taxes and stop illegal immigrants. Hmm, where I have heard that before? Oh, and he admires Thatcher. Good luck Australia.
 
2013-09-07 07:55:42 AM
athousandflowersblog.files.wordpress.com

I think the interesting thing here is the big swing to the Silly Party and of course the very large swing back to the Sensible Party...and a tendency to wobble up and down in the middle because the screw's loose
 
2013-09-07 08:02:51 AM

bbfreak: Things you should know about Tony Abbot if he indeed does win. He's anti-gay marriage, a climate change skeptic, his economic plan is to cut taxes and stop illegal immigrants. Hmm, where I have heard that before? Oh, and he admires Thatcher. Good luck Australia.


Thanks. We'll need it.

Hey, fellow Aussies - any bets on whether or not Abbott's going to try and bring back some form of the White Australia policy?
 
2013-09-07 08:11:19 AM
Do you think Labor's FTTH plan would've gone down better if they'd started in the country areas first and worked out, rather than starting from the city and working in? It'd at least encourage them to upgrade the phone coverage while they're there.

I also wonder if they'd have done better if Julia Gillard was still in charge - or even allowed to be in charge until they won and then knifed once victory was assured...


No, I think Labor's plan is - was, dammit - a good one and in the long term benefit of the country. Hell, ultra-modern infrastructure is never a bad thing. My issue here is that spending vast sums on modern infrastructure for one area of the country before ensuring other areas have consistent basic services is an unbalanced approach and bad government. I don't expect much to change, though, around 80% of the population live near the coast (so I hear) so it's natural for smart pollies to spend where the votes are.

Anyway, let's see what jug ears has to offer.
 
2013-09-07 08:18:08 AM
Oh - and Julia Gillard wouldn't have made much difference, the infighting in the Labor Party killed this election for them a long time ago, not Liberal brilliance. Switching from Julia Gillard to Kevin Rudd was just shifting chairs on the Titanic.

I'm a natural Labor voter and even I wasn't impressed, especially with the fiasco around immigration. Would probably have still voted for them if I had citizenship just to keep Abbot out.
 
2013-09-07 08:19:48 AM

Tellurianix: No, I think Labor's plan is - was, dammit - a good one and in the long term benefit of the country. Hell, ultra-modern infrastructure is never a bad thing. My issue here is that spending vast sums on modern infrastructure for one area of the country before ensuring other areas have consistent basic services is an unbalanced approach and bad government. I don't expect much to change, though, around 80% of the population live near the coast (so I hear) so it's natural for smart pollies to spend where the votes are.


At least 80% - probably more given how much of Australia is desert. An awful lot of land just isn't suitable for any sort of agriculture, so there's a limit to how sustainable the place can get.

But not even getting basic mobile phone coverage out there? That's pretty sad. There's only one company that goes out that far, and they can't be arsed trying to get more customers? Wonderful. They never should've privatised it.
 
2013-09-07 08:20:08 AM

rumpelstiltskin: Tellurianix: I emigrated to Australia 18 months ago from the UK and live 550k's west of Sydney,

[static.tvtropes.org image 350x236]


Yeah, I lol'd. Blame the wife.
 
2013-09-07 08:22:47 AM
Sigh.....

Ah well. Probably it'll be 6 years of regressive government before there's even the possibility of things like real school reforms or a gay marriage referrendum. Ah well, like with the Queensland election, we'll probably very quickly get our comeuppance for voting for Abbott. I predict a fair amount of buyers remorse will follow.
 
2013-09-07 08:27:11 AM

bbfreak: Things you should know about Tony Abbot if he indeed does win. He's anti-gay marriage, a climate change skeptic, his economic plan is to cut taxes and stop illegal immigrants. Hmm, where I have heard that before? Oh, and he admires Thatcher. Good luck Australia.


And then there's this quote:

'I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman's right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man's right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak' - Tony Abbott.
 
2013-09-07 08:29:01 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: And then there's this quote:

'I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman's right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man's right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak' - Tony Abbott.


So there goes abortion and as many reproductive rights he can throw out in 3 years.

*sigh*
 
2013-09-07 08:30:30 AM
At least the boat builders in Indonesia will be doing well.....
 
2013-09-07 08:33:56 AM
I have to now pen an apology to all my LGBITQ friends for their rights being flushed away for the next few years...
 
2013-09-07 08:36:55 AM
Good luck from across the Tasman, Australia. We've been under a conservative (although it did  pass marriage equality) administration for the last five years.  It's not pleasant.
 
2013-09-07 08:38:41 AM

thisispete: Good luck from across the Tasman, Australia. We've been under a conservative (although it did  pass marriage equality) administration for the last five years.  It's not pleasant.


Thanks.

We survived John Howard (somehow) and he got thrown out pretty hard for WorkChoices, so maybe we'll get to do that again in 3 years...
 
2013-09-07 08:38:49 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: bbfreak: Things you should know about Tony Abbot if he indeed does win. He's anti-gay marriage, a climate change skeptic, his economic plan is to cut taxes and stop illegal immigrants. Hmm, where I have heard that before? Oh, and he admires Thatcher. Good luck Australia.

And then there's this quote:

'I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman's right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man's right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak' - Tony Abbott.


i.stack.imgur.com

Wow, just wow. Ugh.
 
2013-09-07 08:39:09 AM

maddermaxx: Sigh.....

Ah well. Probably it'll be 6 years of regressive government before there's even the possibility of things like real school reforms or a gay marriage referrendum. Ah well, like with the Queensland election, we'll probably very quickly get our comeuppance for voting for Abbott. I predict a fair amount of buyers remorse will follow.


It seemed like the release of the Liberals' costings was a bit dodgy, given how late it came. Is it like the Underpants Gnomes' plan for profit?
 
2013-09-07 08:39:45 AM

Shedim: God Is My Co-Pirate: And then there's this quote:

'I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman's right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man's right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak' - Tony Abbott.

So there goes abortion and as many reproductive rights he can throw out in 3 years.

*sigh*


It's just....why the fark wasn't the journalist's next question: "So Mr. Abbott, could you please clarify in exactly what circumstances a woman shouldn't have the right to withhold sex, in your opinion?"
 
2013-09-07 08:41:02 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: It's just....why the fark wasn't the journalist's next question: "So Mr. Abbott, could you please clarify in exactly what circumstances a woman shouldn't have the right to withhold sex, in your opinion?"


Because a) that would require a spine and b) there's a good chance Murdoch was paying said journalist.
 
2013-09-07 08:54:32 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: [lh3.ggpht.com image 400x300]

Vote Knifey-Spoony party


Are they the ones trying to get rid of the chazwozzlers?  Those bloody things are everywhere, they're in the lift, in the lorry, in the bond wizzard and all over the malonga gilderchuck!
 
2013-09-07 09:12:18 AM
Carbon tax = Third rail.

No political will for that shiat at all.
 
2013-09-07 09:24:11 AM
I only vaguely keep up with Australian politics but had a fun time reading about Katter's Australian Party. Quite the quirky mix of policies, at least from the perspective of the American left-right divide.
 
2013-09-07 09:34:31 AM

Ragin' Asian: I'm honestly curious. When the Australian government is said to be "Conservative", do they mean America conservative or British conservative (as in not the BNP)?


Basically, neither. The two major parties are both centrist; one was centre-left because it was coalitioned with the Greens, the other was centre-right because farkshiatting assfaces bollocksing shiatarse. Hm. Sorry, thinking about Tony Abbott does things to me. See, I happen to use the internet, know about Keynsian economics, am the son and brother of a teacher in the public education system, the grandson of a Welsh immigrant, am not, in fact, an Aboriginal, and of course, live on planet earth, so the electoral promises Abbott was making are all explicitly against things that relate to me.
 
2013-09-07 09:36:25 AM
What voting Aussies might look like.

news.bbcimg.co.uk
//Voting in the Oz is pretty much mandatory, mate.
 
2013-09-07 09:37:47 AM

BitwiseShift: What voting Aussies might look like.

[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 624x351]
//Voting in the Oz is pretty much mandatory, mate.


It's not pretty much mandatory.
 
2013-09-07 09:43:29 AM

TalenLee: BitwiseShift: What voting Aussies might look like.

[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 624x351]
//Voting in the Oz is pretty much mandatory, mate.

It's not pretty much mandatory.



My bad. Compulsatory, with a sweet $170 fine plus court costs?
 
2013-09-07 09:43:40 AM
Wow, I'm surprised. 40 posts in and not a single mention of the word c*nt, nor the phrase "F*CK OFF WE'RE FULL."
 
2013-09-07 09:45:13 AM

BitwiseShift: TalenLee: BitwiseShift: What voting Aussies might look like.

[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 624x351]
//Voting in the Oz is pretty much mandatory, mate.

It's not pretty much mandatory.


My bad. Compulsatory, with a sweet $170 fine plus court costs?


Hence my emphasis on pretty much. It's mandatory. If you don't do it, there's a punishment. You're mandated to do it, and if you don't oh farking hell, nobody cares at this point in the conversation and I'm not even drunk.
 
2013-09-07 09:48:23 AM

TalenLee: BitwiseShift: What voting Aussies might look like.

[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 624x351]
//Voting in the Oz is pretty much mandatory, mate.

It's not pretty much mandatory.


It's "pretty much" in the sense that it's only a AUS$20 fine, and has a whole host of fine exemptions to avoid being fined that pretty much anyone could rustle up.


The only people who are actually ever "punished" in the real world (ie the higher AUS$170 fine and a court date) are people actively objecting to the concept of voting, because they're the only ones who would ever reach that point.
 
2013-09-07 09:48:51 AM
This election cycle I've listened to a man who was on unemployment benefits for 10 years and who now works for public transport, who touts his proud Scottish grandfather and his love of science fiction, proudly espouse the position that Australia should be anti immigrant and shouldn't be spending money on public projects like, you know, unemployment benefits.

I've listened to my father, who married a British woman who came here on a farking boat as a refugee, in front of his brother, who married a Finnish woman who came here on a farking boat as a refugee, talk about the evils of the boat people. This man works for schools.

I've listened to my mother, whose Welsh mother came here on a boat as a refugee, talk about how she doesn't trust immigration policies.

This is an A1+ win for racism in Australia. Can the older generation who don't know shiat about shiat kindly hurry up and farking die? If we weren't supporting your unreasonable population bubble, immigration wouldn't be a desireable augment to the labour force.

/yes I did just kind of wish for my parents to die
//I will feel really really bad about that in a few minutes considering Grandma died last month
///fark
 
2013-09-07 09:50:10 AM

Spaced Lion: Wow, I'm surprised. 40 posts in and not a single mention of the word c*nt, nor the phrase "F*CK OFF WE'RE FULL."


My guess? The Fark trolls only care about American politics.
 
2013-09-07 10:02:19 AM

Spaced Lion: Wow, I'm surprised. 40 posts in and not a single mention of the word c*nt, nor the phrase "F*CK OFF WE'RE FULL."


I thought the PNG one was clever.
 
2013-09-07 10:03:48 AM
Nah its cause I wasnt here earlier. Look, a thread full of c*nt hippies, like the guy in the greens shirt I wanted to headbutt today. Support people that want to let in sand blacks and give them 50k a year in support? Id die before I let that happen. God its good to have an actual man in charge again.
 
2013-09-07 10:05:09 AM
Do Australians go for the high score or the low score?
 
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